U is for Ugly

We'd ridden along in silence for forty-five minutes, and I don't think either of us were quite ready to talk yet, but as I pulled over next to a river and got out of the car, I saw her look at me, like she had something to say. Those brown eyes were narrowed in thought, and her lips were in a straight line. This was it. I knew what was coming, but that didn't mean that I was going to bring it up. Rhys was my best friend, and putting the nail in the coffin of our friendship was not something I was up for. It was on her mind, yes. I wasn't going to say anything, though, because I couldn't handle it if things got messed up. I'd just avoid it until she talked.

She looked over at me from the passenger's seat, and sighed. "Sam. We need to talk," she looked at me deliberately, as though this was going to happen that day, and whatever I said or did couldn't avoid it.

I bit my lower lip. No good conversation ever began with 'we need to talk,' but if we were going to not be friends anymore, than she deserved a chance to walk away without me being selfish and begging her to stay. "Okay. What's on your mind, Rhys?" I asked, a sad expression on my face, preparing for and expecting the worst.

She looked out the window, probably trying to think of the best way to let me down easy. That was Rhys for you. Always thinking about how to make it hurt less, even when it was supposed to hurt more. "Why didn't you tell me about your demon blood, Sam? Did you…think I wouldn't find out?" she asked sadly.

That expression on her face was killing me. Hurt and concern mixed together in a cocktail of 'make Sam want to die of guilt.' How in the hell was I supposed to answer that? "Because I…" I paused. Am an asshole? Don't deserve you as a friend? What, Sam? What about you? This isn't about you. Well, it is, but not in that way.

She put up her hands as if to say 'what?' and raised an eyebrow. "What? Because you what?" she ran a hand through her hair and stared hard at me.

I swallowed hard and looked out the window. "Because I didn't think I could afford the risk of losing you. That's also why I never told you that I--" I paused. Shut UP Sam, shut up! Way to fail at pretty much every secret you were ever supposed to keep! Jesus fucking Christ! I hoped she'd let it be. But I knew Rhys. She wouldn't.

She scoffed. "Losing me? Sam, I know the REAL you, okay? I know that you don't have any true evil inside you. I know you better than that. You have the biggest heart of anyone I have known in my life, so that's a lame fucking reason to hide this from me for--wait…" she paused. So, she had caught on. "Tell me what?"

I closed my hands tightly. "N-nothing. It was…"

She shook her head and threw her hand up. "No, no, it was something Sam. Or else you wouldn't be trying to cover it up. You should know by now that there's nothing you can't--" she paused and rolled her eyes. "Never mind, Sam. If you don't know it now, you're never going to see," she reached for the door handle. She was going to leave me. She'd rather be in the middle of nowhere than be with me. But, could I blame her?

I put my hand on her shoulder and watched her turn around. "I told you you'd fucking leave me. I knew you were going to leave when you found out. I'm a freak Rhys. I wouldn't blame you if you just walked away and never thought twice about it. I'm sorry I…lied to you…" I let her arm go and looked away. I didn't want to see her walk away, but I felt her hand on my chin, steering me back around.

She stopped dead in her tracks and shook her head. "No, you're right Sam. I did promise I wouldn't leave you. I'm…sorry. This is just…you should know by now that there's nothing you can't say to me…you know that I'll always be on your side, Sam…" she let her hands fall back to her sides. "Listen to me. I don't care if you have demon blood in you. I'll save you. I'll do anything. I just…" she bit her lip.

I looked at that look on her face as she stared into space, and I think my brain went dead, because the next thing I knew, I had her face in my hands, and I was pressing my lips to hers. And…she wasn't pushing away? I pulled her to me and ran my hands through her hair, and sunk into the kiss fully when I felt her hands on my back. Was this…was it right? I pulled away and looked into her eyes, watching her face for any sort of trepidation or hesitation. But there was none. I was about to ask her if it was okay when she pulled my face to hers and mashed our lips together.

And the next thing I knew, we were crawling over our seats and into the back, and Rhys was straddling my hips, still kissing me. Dean would kill us if he ever found this out, but right then, I'd face any consequence I had to, so long as this kept up. "So…does this mean I'm forgiven?" I asked playfully as I felt her hands playing at the buttons on my shirt.

She grinned at me and huffed out a sigh. "Shut up, Sam," she spoke softly as she dropped my shirt to the floor and ran her hands along my shoulders, pressing her lips to mine again.

I grinned into the kiss and pulled her t-shirt off, running my hand along her cheek. "Rhys? Before we do this, can I tell you something?" I asked. I figured, since we were about to do something I'd fantasized about on numerous nights alone, I wanted to make sure that she was really in this for love, and not just sex. She nodded and I continued. "I…love you. Like, Jess and Ethan type love you. I have loved you since the first time we spoke, after Jess…you know. I mean, the way you were just so…you…about it. I fell in love right then and there."

She clutched me tightly and pressed her lips against mine again, and I wasn't sure what that meant, but I liked it. She pulled back from the kiss and looked into my eyes. "Sam, I have Jess and Ethan type loved you since senior year, okay? I swear. When we accidentally kissed on prom night? And I felt more than I ever did with Ethan? Yes, Sam, I knew then. I love you to this fucking day. I…love you so much my heart could explode."

I didn't know what to say, so I simply pulled her back to me and continued what we'd been doing. When there was no barrier between us, all I could think to do was stare. She was even more beautiful with nothing to hide. "I've…waited for this moment for so long…" I whispered.

She nodded and slowly, artfully, lowered herself onto me, sending a sensation flying through my whole body. This was…incredible. And our motions matched and contrasted perfectly, and I swear, this was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It seemed like it had been a couple of seconds, but it had actually been close to five minutes, when I felt my body beginning to tense up. "Oh God…I…" I whispered, and I heard her whimper, then felt her body tense around me, and I threw my head back. "I…Rhys, I…I love you!"

She buried her face in my shoulder and clung to me tightly. "I…love you too, Sam…" she whispered, simply laying entwined with me for a few seconds. After a minute or so of just lying there, she looked at me, a bit of surprise on her face. "That…really just happened, didn't it?"

I grinned and nodded my head. "I half expected to wake up on the ground in my sleeping bag. But, it did…and I meant every word of what I said…"

She grinned, too, and nodded her head. "I did too. Every single word…" she stared into my eyes and pressed a kiss to my lips. And in that moment, I felt…full. In my heart, I mean. I felt like it could burst. "But," she interrupted the moment. "We should get to a store and…get some Febreze incense or something to make the Impala smell less…like sex."

I laughed and grabbed our pile of clothes from the floor, beginning to sort them out. "Yeah. Dean will kill us if he knows what happened…" I looked at Rhys again, and grabbed her before she could pull her panties on, pressing another kiss to her lips. She smiled, but looked inquisitively at me. "Just, you know, to make sure this is…real."

She smiled and started to get dressed. "It's real, Sam. I promise."

I nodded and ran a hand through my hair. "I know. I love you, Rhys."

She beamed. "I love you too, Sam."