Many humble thanks to Vixen1836 for guest beta'ing and to Dollegirl for her critiques on all of my entertaining nonsense, and most of all to my readers for your unwavering support.
A friendly reminder, this story is Rated M
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight……………………just a ducky number six.
I Hate You, Kiss Me
"The more you let yourself go, the less others let you go." -Friedrich Nietzsche
"What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine." - Susan Sontag
Chapter Twenty-One
The weight shifted and shadows moved slowly behind my lids. My mind was floating with sleep, my body warm and comfortable. A wet sensation tickled my breast, pulling me awake. Holy hell that felt good...
With a moan, I lazily opened my eyes to the blue darkness of early morning. Edward's mouth was over me, kissing and gently sucking at my skin. Already feeling the desire stirring my senses, I opened my eyes a little more.
"Mmm…" I hummed, slowly flexing my limbs, feeling the real aches beginning to surface.
Knowing that I was finally awake, Edward cupped my other breast, teasing my nipple. He was eager to play but touching carefully.
"Edward..."
"Again," he mumbled, the tip of his nose lightly running along my neck. I shivered pleasantly.
His warm hands slid down my sides, roving my hips. "We've already been together three times tonight." I wanted to, growing impossibly more addicted to him since the ice had broken, but I was sore, wincing slightly as I stretched beneath him.
"I'll be gentle," he whispered, licking the spot behind my ear. "Promise…"
My eyelids were heavy with lust, my skin vibrating with anticipation as I fought the last remnants of sleep. His lips trailed down my skin again, venturing lower and my body lit up with quiet sensations. I sighed, winding my hands in his beautiful, chaotic hair before roaming down his shoulders. His skin was so warm and soft, stretched over toned muscles.
I'd come to learn that Edward was a passionate lover, demanding yet tender with skilled hands. There was quiet intimacy and whispers, hissing and intake of breath. He knew ways to ignite my impulses—whether it was slow foreplay or flipping a switch inside me. None of it had led to just simple satisfaction. Being with him was a powerful rush.
He dipped into me, gently at first, gradually increasing his pace. By the blue light before dawn, I saw his forehead break into a light sweat as he panted quick and shallow with measured thrusts.
"Bella…" he whispered reverently, adjusting his weight on his arm, drawing his hand to where we joined. I gasped, raking my nails over his skin as he pressed firmly, rubbing circles. My legs tightened around his waist, his fingers sending me over the edge at a slow, powerful force that flooded my system.
He quickened his rhythm, and I cried out breathlessly as the feeling became too much. He felt so good, rocking forward and filling me.
His hand slid to my hip, gliding over my stomach to my breast, grasping. Grunting breathily, he continued to move faster, his breath shortening, until he shuddered to a halt. Releasing inside of me, he swayed forward, hair hanging across his forehead, leaning closer. His full lips hovered over mine, and through heavy lids we stared at one another.
"I feel like some kind of god when I'm inside you," he whispered, with a smile in his scratched voice.
I moaned with a laugh at his playful arrogance, returning my fingers to his hair. "I don't think God would be this cocky about it..."
He chuckled, his breath tickling my skin - damp with sweat as he nuzzled his face into my neck. We sighed and kissed sweetly, languidly, till drowsy sleep started to grip me again.
Would it always be like this? I hoped so.
Edward slid beside me, bringing the sheet up and I turned to him, pressing my forehead into his chest as we drifted again.
He'd kept his promise.
~/~/~/~
I was in this place again. I knew only because it felt familiar, but I was on high ground. Quiet and peaceful, standing on a sliver of earth. A gentle wind rustled the ground and my clothes, stirring my hair and attention. My eyes followed the fanning path of wind in the grass till my gaze met a bridge. Old and worn like it had been there for decades, roots and weeds growing and forming around the structure.
Movement caught my eye. Edward.
He stood at the other end of the bridge in his usual dark slacks and tie, partially immersed in shadow, smiling. I smiled back, taking him in. I was glad he was here with me in this strange place. My gaze floated passed him, seeing a second bridge over his shoulder, more land, and an endless expanse of sky and water.
He had already made progress but was isolated on his little island now, still separated from me. How were we to get out of here?
Edward removed his hands from his pockets, walking to the edge of this bridge between us. As he stepped into the sunlight, his hair went off like fire, shimmering copper and gold. He smiled again, motioning me across. Of course I wanted to go to him, and held onto the railing of old wood and rope.
It was rickety and I looked down to steady myself, stepping carefully on the worn structure. It creaked unpleasantly, swaying slightly and fear channeled through me in an instant. We were very high up, above the chaotic ocean.
The water.
I looked down at the dark blue abyss and knew with an instinctual flutter of familiarity that it was an old enemy. I'd been there before. Enveloped and sinking while a fish and mysterious being tried to lead me away with cryptic phrases. I had sunk to the ocean floor, freezing and cracking and aging. Alone.
The bridge swayed again as I leaned my weight on a second step. The creaking wood scratched at my nerves and I knew I would fail. The tides rippled threateningly, the creatures of the ocean whispering. Terror swept over me like a tsunami, not wanting to fall again. I felt myself losing my grip on the bridge and on this world.
I gasped awake, jolting with the stillness of the bed.
Squinting at the offending sunshine reflecting off my walls, my vision gradually focused. A sleepy face, both rugged and angelic, looked back at me. Suddenly alert but unsure what my expression held, a twinge of concern shadowed his green eyes and he leaned in, pressing his finger to my lips. All of our activities in darkness hit my memory like a bucket of water sloshing against a door.
"You're not going to analyze anything," he groaned, fighting the remnants of sleep.
My eyes widened for a second at his words. Images from my dream receded back into the layers of my subconscious. The more awake I became, the more the worries filtered in. But Edward was here with me, his hair messy against my pillow, just liked I'd wanted. My eyes met his again but before the awkwardness could settle, I kissed him softly. He was warm and solid, smelling like yesterday's rain, fresh with sex, and his own lovely scent.
I spoke quietly as I pulled away. "I was just going to say good morning."
"No you weren't," he countered, sliding his hand under the sheet, bringing me flush against him.
"After I thought about everything, I was going to..."
"Aren't you glad you skipped to the best part then?" he teased, his smile spreading.
I laughed and slid my face into his chest, my forehead resting just below his neck. I was too sore and groggy to protest. It felt amazing to be near him like this and my mind lingered back to last night's passion. I never would have thought...
I wanted to stay like this with him and not think of the realities that would soon invade. James. Work. Mmm Edward.
He lightly glided his fingers up and down my spine, lulling me back into blissful sleep. I moaned into his skin with a smile.
"We have some things to resolve still." His steady voice vibrated from his chest into my ear, rousing me from my comfort. "You've been keeping a lot of secrets." There was a strange note in his voice.
"Yes... I know," I conceded, growing sullen. I reluctantly stretched my limbs to wake myself more, but still clung to him.
"Details still elude me," he continued on, and I let him. "I thought I was losing my mind at one point... Trying to find the last piece to the puzzle. Trying to understand your methods..."
"I'll explain whatever I can to you, Edward," I assured again, concerned by his woeful declarations.
"I know you will," he said, that strange note back in his voice. A tightness laced with... humor? Puzzled, I was about to start contemplating when I felt something cool on my shoulder, and turned.
I was blinded by yellow and two beady eyes.
Stunned, my thoughts sprinted to realization before stuttering to a halt. It was ducky number six!
I shrieked aloud, breaking away from Edward in a tangle of sheets. I couldn't begin to comprehend my state of surprise, panic, and trepidation. I had to act fast. "Oh my God… Give me back that duck!"
Edward roared with laughter, swiping his hand up high, fisting ducky number six like a gold medal.
"Edward!" I was shrill, unraveling myself from the sheets to get it back. So caught up in everything from last night, ducky number six had been the last thing on my mind. It was my one and only triumph and secret satisfaction from him. I had to have it back.
He turned away, trying to dodge me but I landed across his chest, scampering for it. "You've got a lot of charming secrets, don't you?" he teased, lightly batting my hand away.
"It's mine," I gasped with rising distress. Ignoring the protest of my aches, I heaved myself up to get higher ground.
He chuckled wickedly. "By hiding it, you challenged me."
"You can't keep it from me," I said seriously, growing frustrated.
"I should say the same to you," he retorted with an unpleasant grin. "I woke this morning only to see it mocking me from your night stand."
With that, the sheet tumbled to the floor as he moved to the foot of the bed with agility I hadn't expected. Sitting upright on his knees, his thumb pressed into the "6", squeaking it, taunting me with raised brows and his devilishly handsome smirk.
Irritated, I lunged at him, my breasts smashing into his chest, pulling him back down. We fell onto the mattress with a tumble but I was faster in my desperation, straddling his stomach to keep him pinned. I ignored the way the sun sprinkled his hair and lashes, highlighting the brass-bronze tones in thick auburn strands. New stubble grew along his square jaw and his chest rose and fell with his breathing. As I reached forward to snatch the duck from his hand, his tongue darted out and flicked my nipple.
My gasp of outrage trailed off into a stifled moan as he sucked, his free hand sliding down my side, tickling me. I bit my lip with determination and wrapped my fingers around ducky number six.
"Ha!" I bragged, sitting upright and clutching the duck to my chest. "Cheap tricks aren't going to work on me, Edward Cullen!"
His gaze darkened, moving between me and the yellow duck. The twitch of his lip caught my eye, a ghost of a smile flitting across his features, his eyes more striking than before. I stared back, making sure he knew I wasn't going to back down. It was mine and he needed to know his place.
His gaze roamed down my front. I gulped, trying to refocus. I had my duck now...
As I slid off him to get away, he quickly used his legs to tangle us, tossing me down with him so quickly I hardly had time to react. The duck rolled off the bed as Edward pinned my wrists above my head with a hand. "We'll see. Ms. Swan," he replied huskily.
"Why do you address me formally like that? You always do when you're feeling especially clever." I was breathing heavy against him, anxious to get number six battled with my need for him. I briefly wondered if my face was really as flushed as it felt.
He wasn't expecting my question and loosened his grip slightly, before tightening his hold, smiling more wicked than I'd ever seen. "I always call you 'Ms. Swan' when you tease me to such an infuriating degree that I want nothing more than to bend you over."
"And give me a spanking?" I asked, laughing. I tried to remember every single time he'd called me Ms. Swan and it was usually when I was most annoyed with him. That had been countless times.
"And other things..." he growled, palming my breast greedily, sparking pleasure.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I turned my face away, unwilling to give in. Keep your eye on the prize. Ducky number six! Suddenly, I felt his mouth on mine, distracting me, lulling me into lust again, kissing me sweet and rough. I moaned against his lips, breathy and losing myself already. Our bodies molded into each other.
Edward slowly released my wrists, running his hands down my sides as I drove my fingers into his hair, kissing him deeper. The reminder of our activities from last night made me shiver.
I moaned and we rolled together, bringing me on top again. We began touching with excitement, and as he slid his hands up into my tangled hair, I leaned down, kissing his shoulder while reaching my hand to the floor in hopes of finding the lost duck. Just as my fingertips brushed rubbery plastic, the wind was knocked out of me for a moment. My head spun as Edward pinned me with the entire length of his body weight. I couldn't move.
"You're not going to give up, are you?" he muttered into my shoulder.
"You aren't either," I reminded him, silently cursing at how close I was to getting ducky number six back. But I never would have made it out the door.
He rose onto his elbows the way a tiger traps his next meal. "Those handcuffs would really come in handy right now." He spoke more to himself, looking me over as if strategizing the best way to restrain me.
"Don't even think about it," I warned, squirming to no avail. "Besides, they're in my car."
"The car that we were driving in last night?"
I hadn't thought of that opportunity—not that we had been in the right mindset at the time to use them. My thoughts lingered on the future possibilities though. I looked back to Edward, finding him watching me. He almost smiled.
I tried to rise again but Edward restrained me by the wrists, again. I knew he was much stronger than me. Having used a lot of energy in the last twelve hours, I grew tired quickly, but we did this several times anyway because I was stubborn. I flopped back down under his strength, exhausted and glaring. Did he really think he could win by brute strength alone? Women had other devices and I wasn't beneath using them.
I pretended to give up, sunk into the sheet, managing to pout convincingly. As soon as Edward relaxed a bit, thinking he'd won, I shot my hand down between his legs, going straight for his trump card. I squeezed and he hardened in my hand. He gasped, and I intensified my grip, his face flaming with anger and... embarrassment? Surprised, definitely.
Worried that I'd gone too far, my hand stroked him, hoping to soothe our little feud.
"Cheap shot..." he breathed with a shiver, instantly affected.
"Mmm..." I hummed in agreement, watching his eyes flutter. I was becoming more comfortable with the affect I had on him and liked how readily intimate we were together. "Why don't you just let me have the duck," I whispered, tilting my chin up and ran my tongue over his lip.
He pressed me further into the mattress with the length of his body, preventing my hand from working. "You're evil." He growled, looking at me with a mixture of lust and wariness. "I was hoping to keep it as sort of a souvenir in light of our recent progress."
"But—"
"You can keep the penguin from last night. Consider it a trade," he bargained with new urgency. His eyes glittered, excited and hopeful, making it difficult to say 'no'.
"Ugh, don't give me that look..." I whined, squeezing him again, but his weight pressed further into me, officially halting my weak attempts.
He skimmed my collarbone with the bridge of his nose, trying to persuade me. I loved when he did that. My clouded thoughts wondered if he knew that was a particular weakness of mine. Or maybe I just had a weakness for Edward Cullen. His lips lightly dragged along the arch of my neck, sending pleasant shivers through my stomach. Oh yeah, he knew.
I sighed, my stubbornness wavering when my traitorous body melted into him yet again. "How permanent is this trade?"
"I suppose I can extend you visiting rights." He chuckled against my skin.
"Like joint custody?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The fact that Edward was considering a compromise, or the idea of discussing legal partnership over a yellow rubber duck.
"Monitored visitations."
"What, you don't trust me not to steal him back?" I teased, angling my face toward him with a smile.
"I believe your mind is capable of anything devious," he said in a low voice.
"Then why don't you draw up the papers on Monday," I challenged, determined to stay levelheaded as he licked and sucked my skin.
"Unless..." he gently ground his hips into mine suggestively, "you'd like to seal the deal in a more gratifying way."
That sounded fair. Part of me inwardly pouted, not wanting to relinquish ducky number six. I weakly fought his attentions and the warm, tingling desire, remembering his hopeful, playful eyes. As if I could deny him… I almost laughed bitterly, ready to give in. Languidly stretching beneath him, my stomach growled in answer.
He laughed, drawing himself up. "Perhaps we should start the day, it's almost noon."
I was surprised by how easily he included me in his plans for the day. I'd never woken up to anybody before… That immediately brought up thoughts of what we were going to do. I hadn't planned on entertaining a guest and inwardly winced at my scarcely packed refrigerator of old Chinese food and coffee beans. Oh, and that small piece of cheese in the bottom drawer.
But his smile was infectious, making me feel strangely content. It was so unexpected, my smile faltered, wondering at the peculiar feeling.
Perceptive of the change in me he asked, "Do you want me to leave?"
"No. Don't leave," I answered truthfully, looking deep into his eyes. I wanted to spend the day with him, even if it felt new and intimidating. "It's just, I am a bit sore too..." I admitted. Which was true, but it did well to hide my other concerns.
"Okay," he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. My eyes followed his hand before looking back to him. "Why don't we wash up and talk..." he suggested after a moment, placing a quick kiss at my ear and whispered, "join me when you're ready."
I nodded as he rolled out of bed, admiring his body while he walked out of the room. Perfect muscles and long limbs... My eyes rolled up with a groan as my head fell back into the pillows. I was about to call out directions when I heard the light switch flick on.
"Found the bathroom," he called from the hallway.
"Help yourself," I answered, smiling to myself as I imagined him getting the shower ready and soaping up.
When I vaguely heard the water running and the pipes echoing in the walls, I took a moment to think. So much had happened in the last twelve to fifteen hours. There was much that still needed clearing up. One thing I was positive about—these issues wouldn't keep Edward and I separated. We were strong on our own and I didn't want us to be weak together.
As for James, I was hoping to move passed my trail of mistakes and work off the preventative steps I had already taken. Edward wanted to be there for me, too. I had to let him. He wouldn't force me, but it was time to 'man-up' and face the music.
Lastly, my thoughts drifted back to my inhabitable choice of stocked food and decided to take Edward out to breakfast to the diner Emmett and I usually coerced at.
Awareness came back to me as I realized the water was no longer running. My ears piqued and I heard splashing. Dubiously, I pulled myself out of bed, interested in what exactly Edward was doing in my bathroom. I assumed we would be taking a shower together. I quivered at the thought of him wet against me, again.
The bathroom light shone bright in a long, thin line against the closed door in the gray hallway. I carefully pushed it open, my eyes adjusting to the harsh, yellow light.
Edward was taking a leisurely bath with ducky number six floating in the suds around him. He looked up from examining my shampoo bottle in his hand, completely unabashed. Forgetting the duck momentarily, I observed his hair, wet and gleaming under the light. My heart swelled, seeing him playfully waiting for me, like a cute little boy at bath time. What had I done to deserve this? It was impossible to fight that magnetic pull in my gut.
Pushing away my sudden self-consciousness, I took careful steps to him. He reached one soapy hand out, helping me step over the porcelain edge into the warm, silky water.
"Thanks," I mumbled, letting the suds engulf me up to my shoulders. A sigh escaped me at the luxurious soap scents of coconut and strawberry tickling my senses. I attempted to settle myself comfortably and while the tub was a moderate sized corner Jacuzzi, our limbs kept bumping and crossing. One of my calves brushed Edward's thigh, unsure how to position myself until he put his hand over my shin to steady me. I let it rest there, allowing our closeness to spark small excitement. I wondered if he felt it too.
We were silent for awhile, leaning back and relaxing into the suds. Occasionally our eyes would meet, sending that little quiver through me. I kept looking away, wondering how to start the inevitable conversation.
I cleared my throat, receiving an expectant look from Edward. Uncharacteristically, he had nothing to say and I knew I had to speak first. I blushed like an idiot and looked away again, my gaze falling to the yellow duck floating toward me along the water's surface. I reached out for the plastic toy. Ducky number six had been hidden for so long, just like my feelings for him. But now… it was floating between us, inescapable.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I started quietly, turning the duck between my hands. As difficult as it was to rip the band aid off, I knew it would bring us closer. "I did think that the legal procedures alone would be effective but..." Don't you dare cry again.
Coming to my rescue, Edward spoke. "I don't want you to be alone and afraid." My eyes met his to see him watching me carefully.
"And I don't want you to feel obligated." I didn't want it to turn into Edward feeling solely responsible for me on account of it. I wanted him to be with me because he really wanted to be.
"Don't be ridiculous, Bella." He shifted his body to face me more fully. "The moment he started planning this was the moment he challenged me too."
I fought the roll of my eyes. "Please, Edward. The last thing I want is for you to go off swinging your sword. As you said, James is dangerous and—" I sighed, feeling more determined. "I don't want you hurt. Especially if I'm the reason for it."
"Then I think you know how I feel," he said abruptly. "We're more alike than you think..."
"Perhaps." I set the duck free, letting it glide toward Edward through the suds. "What do you suggest I do?"
He answered immediately, as if he'd already thought about it. "To start, you're going to change your home phone number."
"He doesn't even use it any—"
"It's just another method of contact he has with you and we're going to sever every last one."
"Fine." It wasn't worth arguing about. Charlie would understand why, but I would just have to figure out what to tell Renee.
"Second," he continued on with increasing authority, twirling the duck in the water with his finger, "after James's little stunt last night, you might as well get an emergency restraining order until a court hearing can be scheduled." It was strange talking business with Edward in a bathtub.
I nodded, my eyes dropping to the duck between his long fingers again.
"I'll be coming to the hearing with you too."
"Why?" Honestly, I could handle a visit to court for one afternoon...
"James could go into a rage and lash out afterward. He could follow you home or worse..." He cut himself off, too angry to continue that thought. "Now, don't argue with me on this one, Bella." His eyes pleaded behind the growl.
So far, no reasons to dispute him came to mind. I couldn't deny his unmistakable logic. I had to come to terms with the possibility that James was capable of anything. I also couldn't let the fear get to me. Receiving no argument from me, he continued, looking as dignified as a man could in soapy bath water.
"Now what about this P.I. you hired?" He pushed the little duck toward me, creating a path through the suds as it skimmed the water.
"Laurent St. Jean. He's uptown near Capitol Hill." An expensive, quiet neighborhood with a growing gay community. It certainly had character and flair, much like Laurent himself. I already knew Edward was going to look him up so I left it at that.
"I hope he finds something..." he said to himself, rubbing a hand over the scruff of his chin thoughtfully.
"And what did you find out?" I asked, suddenly. I'd almost forgotten about his research on the side...
He leaned back, bracing himself as his eyes flashed sharply. "James has been dipping his hand in too many places. Dealings." he emphasized to my confused expression. "It seems that his job isn't entirely 'for the good of the working man'. I don't know what he told you but..."
"I thought he was in Real Estate... buying land before owners went bankrupt."
Edward bristled. "Oh, he buys land alright. Apparently, his dealings are more along the lines of bribery. Threats and offering up small cash rewards to get home owners off their property so he can build and resell for triple the profits."
I wondered why James would be going after a lawyer if he'd been up to no good with these dealings. Unless his stalking was something more than this warped version of romantic possessiveness. I grew more worried, not fully understanding his motives anymore. "Would that be enough to get him behind bars?"
"There have been a few cases where ex-owners complained and tried suing but it all got hushed. If any threats or blackmail could be verified, it might lead to something."
"We would have to find one of these customers then. Depends if he's paying his taxes on the land while building too," I added.
"Exactly," he agreed. "Getting him on repeated offenses would be good but James appears to be a sneaky, shameless bastard." The corners of his eyes tightened. "He's not above anything. His treatment toward you is proof of that."
I was grateful for Edward and suddenly, it seemed… reckless to do anything without his support. What had I been thinking? I didn't want to live in fear, constantly looking over my shoulder. My decisions had seemed so justified but now... my path had been a disaster waiting to happen.
I floated closer to him through the suds, disturbing the water. His eyes softened slightly but he kept his posture tense as I touched his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Edward. For being careless last night, for so many things..." I swallowed hard, looking up at him.
He didn't fully relax under my fingertips and I knew he was still hurt by my actions. "We're not just talking about James anymore, are we?" he asked.
"No, but I hid too much from you. It wasn't right."
He sighed, smiling grimly at me, coming out of his own thoughts. "Don't apologize anymore, Bella. There were some things you didn't know."
"What do you mean?" Looking at him expectantly, we settled lower into the water. Edward brushed his hand over my thigh in an idle gesture of affection.
"You didn't completely understand what you were fighting against last night. I hid a lot from you too. And then got mad at you for not understanding. How I could expect you to feel anything but resentment toward me?" His hand went through his wet hair, flicking droplets everywhere. I was too interested in what he was saying to blink from them as they splattered on my face.
"I've realized that most of my attempts did some damage, confusing you instead." He grimaced into the suds. "I was so fucking arrogant. You didn't fully see it because I didn't let you either."
"See what?" I encouraged in a small voice. I didn't want him to stop talking.
"My intentions. They were only good." He looked between my eyes, hoping I would understand.
"I know." I didn't know the details, but I knew it to be true. After looking passed all the nonsense, I saw them for what they were.
"You do?" he asked, surprised by my willingness.
"I think so. I mean, you were trying to get my attention, caring about the things I did, and it allowed me to get to know you better. Even when it was frustrating as hell."
He laughed. "Well that's definitely putting it simply." It was the first time he smiled since we started this discussion. It was uplifting to see. And he did keep talking, quite a bit actually.
We sat together and I listened, letting him explain what he had wanted to say for so long.
He admitted that while he worked hard up the ladder, he manipulated people when 'the occasion called for it'. And when I mused that maybe Edward had been right about us being similar through independent ambition, he did in fact play office politics.
"I have a way with a people, and became used to things falling into place for me. Whether it was to get a job... A woman... A lot of my methods seemed harmless at the time," he reluctantly confessed.
We sobered at that, keeping contact with our limbs crossed under water and playing with hands. Edward's held mine, rolling his thumb over my knuckles in a soothing method. It helped diffuse the weight of the conversation.
"And you tried to do that with me?" I guessed, peering at him.
"Yes. You constantly resisted me and I thought it was fun to play with you like that. I assumed that you secretly liked it." His grin faded. "But you made it difficult for me to make any real progress. Then I thought you were a secret romantic and preferred bold actions like every other woman, so I finally just admitted how much I wanted you." He shook his head in self-disgust. "Like the arrogant idiot I was, after weeks of jerking you around, I assumed you would throw down the shield and be mine. I hadn't expected your rejection," he concluded, eyes wandering over my face. "I was an idiot."
I glided my hand over his chest and shoulder, bringing up some of the warm, soapy water. "All of the nonsense did work on me, eventually. Don't forget, you got me to go on a date. Dating wasn't something I'd taken seriously for a very long time..." I wound my fingers into the wet hair at his neck. "Until New Years Eve." Until you...
He kissed me softly then, hesitantly brushing my wet hair off my cheek with a finger and nibbling at my mouth. There was nothing in the world like kissing a warm, wet, soapy, naked Edward. "I'm sorry I didn't stay that night."
"You were waiting for me," I breathed.
He smiled into my lips. "Yes," he whispered, just before is tongue touched mine. He slid a hand behind my neck while his other palmed my breast, slipping over my wet skin. I moaned, perking up and sliding to him at once. Magic hands...
Once I'd tasted him, I knew I would always want it again. My tongue mingled with his eagerly, the kiss turning rough. In light of our little confessions, we were vulnerable and wanting. Beyond simple reassurance, the primal desire to mate started to grip me. My hands tugged his hair, urging him closer.
"It was the best date I've ever had." The words tumbled from my mouth, thoughtlessly. I was unfocused and needing him.
He pulled me onto his lap, moaning, already hard against the small of my back. I leaned into his warm chest as his stubble scraped my neck, his mouth sucking my skin.
This man knew me. He knew how to touch me. His hands drifted up my front, circling my breasts, pressing me to him. My head fell back against his shoulder, eyes rolling up with pleasure. The suds added almost a euphoric, floral scent and slick lubricant to our skin. Breathless and lusting already, I arched, pushing myself further into his hands and closed my eyes.
Edward slid his hand down my stomach, dipping under water to where I wanted him most. Knowing his destination, my breath caught with excitement when his fingers slipped below, circling and pressing. He breathed almost a feral sound at my ear and I was only partially aware of my legs opening further for him. I reached behind to wrap my hands around his neck, holding myself to him while his other hand played with my breast.
"Edward..." I sighed, turning my face toward him. Our lips met just as his fingers dipped inside me. Gasping against his mouth, we began moving together.
He hardened further against my back and memories of last night flashed. I had felt him massaging my breast as he held me to his chest, playing with me, seducing me with whispers. It was soft and sweet in the darkness as he pushed me into the mattress from behind.
"Is this what you want, Bella?" he asked low and rough, instigating me like the bastard he was. As if he needed to know that this would last longer than one night. My moan was cut short in a huff, breathing unevenly. He wanted me to beg when I already wanted to give. With every flick and push of his fingers, I grew more aroused, on the path toward release.
"I want you," I managed as his fingers continued.
The way his chest tightened and his breathing sped; I could tell he was concentrating on pleasing me. I moaned, and he felt so good, but his confessions and questions confirmed what I'd suspected. Though we hadn't always pursued each other in the most direct ways, the fact that we both still gravitated to one another, despite all these issues, was profound.
He made me feel desired and appreciated. He wanted me. Part of me was still trying to grasp that, but the other part wanted to show him what I felt, too. I wasn't good with words - just like Charlie – but I could give more than I had already given. He had waited too long for all of this.
The familiar sensations vibrated under my skin. I was already close and had to stop his fingers. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do.
Forcing some intelligible thoughts through the mind fog of lust, I turned in his arms and slid up his body, placing my thighs on either side of his waist.
Looking up at his now confused expression, I was uncertain how to say what I wanted. Instead of speaking, I leaned forward, pressing my breasts against his chest, kissing his lips, his body relaxing against the wall of the tub. He was surprised, but receptive, unsure what to expect from me.
"I can make you feel good too..." I offered, fighting back some emotion. My fingers slowly found their way into his hair behind his ear as I began to anxiously plot my next moves.
"I do feel good," he answered in a thick voice, enjoying the way my fingers pulled lightly at his dripping strands. He shivered under my fingertips, the rivulets of waters rolling down his skin.
"I can make you feel better," I said low and breathy on his lips, barely touching them, teasing him with the promise of a kiss. I could feel him so hard against my stomach already.
He sighed, and leaned back further, waiting to see what I would do. I was inches away from his erection under the water, but I decided to take my time with the rest of him. Lightly placing kisses at the hollow of his throat, I nibbled and licked my way up, his throat flexing with his loud swallow.
Was he nervous? I wasn't sure, but he relaxed further as I slid my hands up his chest, his arms disappearing beneath the suds, giving me free reign over him.
I leaned closer, pressing our bodies together completely, allowing my sensitive ache to brush his tip under water, my palms slowly moving up his chest again. He hissed and cursed under his breath, encouraging me. I pulled his sweet lips between mine, kissing and nibbling his mouth, his lips wet, soft, and full. The contrast of his stubble scraping my chin was so sexy, increasing my desire for him.
Sliding upward, I sucked his neck, lowering my hand slowly, reaching between us through the water to grip him. Sensing his alertness, my head turned up from kissing to see his eyes opened, and head rearing forward. With a firmer grip, I grabbed him hard, pressing his erection to my wet heat. I grinned as he hissed once more, cursing low and gritty. His responses reinforced the fact that only I could make him feel this way. It was a validation beyond pure physicality or anything I'd ever felt before.
With a groan, his hands gripped my hips, but rested there, letting me lead. The tips of my breasts grazed his chest, causing another current of lust.
"This lack of control must be killing you," I teased. "But I want to do something nice for you."
He stuttered a reply, his breathing picking up as I rubbed down his length, sliding my fingers around the tip, pressing him against me. He groaned, and I pulled back from kissing him, seeing his eyes closed, his head leaning against the tub.
"How's that?" I whispered, seeing his eyes open again. They were filled with desperate lust and I could feel his pulse thumping wildly in my hand.
He couldn't decide whether to watch or relax. "Mmm... B- Bella." He moaned unsteadily, succumbing, leaning his head back against the porcelain edge again, and exposing his throat.
Delighted by his responses, I ground into him more forcefully, loving the powerful affect I had over him. The water started to sway around us. We moaned softly together as I raised slightly, rubbing down on him, my slickness and the warm water lubricating the friction.
"Shit. You don't know what you do to me." His breathless voice was hoarse—unrecognizable—as both of his hands tightened against my hips.
I rose up on my knees, kissing his lips, easing myself down on him slowly. All soreness from before didn't matter; we groaned breathlessly as he filled me completely, the intrusion warm and welcome.
"Christ," he whispered as I moaned with pleasure, holding onto the back of his shoulders now.
Flush against his body, I began small, shallow thrusts, gently rolling my hips as the water moved choppy against us. Shuddering at how perfectly he filled me, the pleasure stretched slow and lingering. Empowered, I pressed against his reclined form, meeting his eyes as we drifted to only the feeling.
He exhaled shakily against my lips, sliding his palm up my back, the warm water trickling in paths from his hand. His fingers slipped under my wet hair, pressing at the base of my neck to draw my face closer, and I took him faster, swiveling my hips in our rhythm.
"Oh... my god..." He moaned, his fingers digging into my hair.
"Do you like that?" I asked, genuinely wondering. My strokes were circular, taking him deeper. Water and suds began splashing. Edward grew more eager and I ran a hand through his hair, pulling the strands.
"Fuck... more than you know." He gripped me then in one hand, clutching the rim of the bathtub for leverage. Angling himself back, he bent his knees slightly to thrust, that first movement hitting me deeper. I dug my nails into his shoulders as we began to move more forcefully.
I ignored the hard surface of the floor of the tub under my knees and increased our pace. I breathed hard as his hand drew down my side, holding my breast, his mouth closing over my nipple. Moaning at the hot and wet, he sucked the suds off the tip before nibbling me as we continued, licking and nuzzling the soapy skin. My head spun, my body prickled and lit up.
My sounds and quick breaths mixed with his sharp grunts against my skin. We were amazing like this—in tune with each other. The intimacy turned wild as I shifted against him harder, moving in quick succession to meet his eager hips.
"Ugh, I'm gonna..." He didn't have time to finish speaking as he came hard. I slowed to a stop as his stomach clenched and his whole body tensed and shuddered in my arms. I cradled his head to my chest, threading my fingers in his hair.
He calmed a bit but his breathing was still erratic as he searched for my lips. Pulling the sides of my face in his hands, he kissed me deeply in a frenzy of tender passion. We kissed for a while, longer than necessary until I laid against his chest with my head on his shoulder, listening to his pounding heart. I played with the suds on his skin, massaging the fragrant soap soothingly. When his breathing slowed he shifted slightly.
"Bella..." He sighed, lifting my face up to him. "That was more than nice. Just when I thought I knew everything about you..." He trailed off in glazed awe.
"You have plenty to learn Edward," I teased.
His own smile quickly vanished. "Were you satisfied?"
"Yes," I lied, looking down at the soapy bubbles on his skin. The tingles had faded, but I was still swollen.
"You're lying," he said immediately, sliding his hands up my sides.
"How did you..."
"You blushed and averted your eyes to my cock." He chuckled softly, slipping his hands between us, roaming my breasts and venturing lower underwater to where we were still connected. "And you're much too alert..."
I closed my eyes. "It was for you..." I murmured, quickly realizing that I was fighting a losing battle.
That made Edward pause and he attempted to sit up, slipping out of me. His eyes briefly darted over my shoulder. Without giving me time to ask, he was upright and lightly pushing me back. He looked at me hungrily, leaning into me with his hands trailing along my thighs, over the curve of my waist. Staring into his eyes, I was unable to think straight as he slid me up the side of the Jacuzzi, settling me on the edge in the corner. The cold tile was startling, erecting my nipples.
His fingers rubbed along the curve of my pelvis and down between my legs. I jerked involuntarily at the spiked tingle of pleasure.
"Just relax..." Edward coaxed, his voice deep and breathy as he knelt down to touch me. This wasn't new to me, but I was nervous with Edward and held onto the tile wall behind me to keep steady. And yet, I couldn't believe what he was about to do. The anticipation alone increased my arousal, but his fingers lulled me further into hazy bliss.
Without pausing, he trailed kisses up the inside of my leg, his stubble scraping my skin. When I felt his hot breath close, the nervous excitement spread all over my stomach. He pulled his hand away from my wet skin, replacing it with his mouth. Kissing and sucking, he sent me quickly into euphoria. Instantly, my body weakened and he tilted his head to get a closer angle, sighing with pleasure against my clit, as if he'd been secretly anxious for this.
His wet, soapy strands tickled my inner thigh just as his tongue darted out slowly and I forgot everything else in the world. It slid over my throbbing clit, shocking me with tingles and heat. My breath caught and it was the sudden quiet that made me realize I'd been moaning loudly, spurring Edward on.
He nibbled and began a steady rhythm with his tongue. Instinctively my head tilted back and hips arched forward for more. My moans turned desperate, my fingers sore from clenching the wall. Tightly wound, I rocked my pelvis to his working lips, wild and thoughtless. His stubble gave a delightfully rough edge to the pleasure and I whimpered uncontrollably for more.
"Mmm…" He groaned softly, knowing I was close, the sound so near where I ached. Going faster, he sucked eagerly, sending me into a fit of intense shuddering and sensitive orgasm.
My hand flew to his hair as my cries of release echoed off tile and walls, seeing white behind my lids.
Edward didn't relent until my fingers clutched at his strands, my body trembling and weak. Before I could recover, he rose to his knees, circling his arms around my waist. My hands went to his hair again for support, clinging to him as he placed a kiss below my breast.
Completely spent, I slid back down the tub in Edward's arms. "You didn't have to do that," I breathed, my body feeling tingled and unhinged, sweaty in the lukewarm water.
"Neither did you," he said simply, winding his fingers in the tangled ends of my hair.
I molded closer to him, overwhelmed, not trusting myself to speak all of a sudden. Maybe it was the intensity of the orgasm, or his thoughtfulness, or everything we had experienced in such a short time, but either way, being with him hit deep in me.
I wasn't going to cry, but the simple things he did and said were special, new, and unexpected. And it was at this moment that all the wonder and revelations rolled its weight in my mind. The last 24 hours were heavy in comparison to the last few months. I wanted to move forward without getting upset over every happy thing that happened to me.
After minutes of soothing touches, I finally spoke. "Promise me something, Edward?" I placed a small kiss on his chest.
"What is it?" He idly drew his hand up my back.
"I want us to proceed carefully about James. Don't push me aside and commandeer everything." I didn't want James to catch either of us off guard and more importantly, I didn't want Edward and me to lose this.
He didn't answer right away.
"Edward…" I lifted my face, keeping my chin rested on his chest.
"Fine," he grunted. "I'd rather you stick to my side than be on your own anyway." After a moment he added under his breath, "at least I'm not the last to find out." Feeling me stiffen against him, he titled his face down toward me. "Am I the last to know?"
"No," I said quickly. I didn't want him to get angry with the others for knowing. Especially Jasper. There was no reason for this to create a rift in their friendship. Because of me… Jasper had been good to his word and not told Edward. It must have been hard for him, knowing his feelings on the subject loud and clear. I would have hated not being able to confide in Alice about something, which only made me feel worse about my actions.
I refocused back on Edward, who was watching me again. "You're not the last to know," I confirmed, thwarting any further explanation.
A knock at the door sounded, jerking us both upright. I cursed under my breath at the interruption. Couldn't anyone use the phone? If it was Marc this time, I was really going to give him an earful.
Before I could move, Edward swiftly stood up, splashing water in my face from the sudden movement. I wiped the water out of my eyes, an indignant tirade already forming in the forefront of my mind. Edward towered over me, water cascading down his body. Words died on my lips, too stunned to do anything but gawk. Ignoring my flabbergasted expression, he stepped over the tub's edge, grabbing my towel on the hook to wrap around his waist.
It was enough for me to regain my thoughts. "Edward!"
"Stay here," he ordered, already flashing into alertness, his posture on guard. It was hard to take him seriously in pink but I swallowed back my laugh.
I folded my arms across my chest. "And if there is any real danger, what are you going to do in pink towel?"
The knock sounded again, heavier and loud.
He shot me a glare and departed from the bathroom, knotting the towel around his hips. Huffing, I stood as well just as I heard Edward open the front door.
But the voice I heard made me freeze.
Silence. Then muffled talking ensued. My face began to burn with embarrassment as I slowly knelt back down into the cooling bathwater, hiding under the deflated suds while inwardly cursing Jasper for finding a loophole.
"I'll just go to his address right now and beat the shit out of him." Emmett's voice rose, traveling down the hallway to my ears.
Edward quickly responded with his own tone of legal advisement, which received more angry grumbles from my best friend.
I could just imagine their initial confrontation of Emmett expecting to see me at the door, but was greeted with Edward in nothing but a pink towel instead. Mortification rushed in, making me shy, giddy, and panicked.
They continued talking business like it was an afternoon meeting in Edward's office. Nevertheless, I remained hidden, playing with ducky number six in my impatience. After a few more moments, Emmett called out with poorly concealed amusement, "See ya later Bella!"
My hands still flew to my face while I sunk lower, even after the sound of the door closed following Emmett's departure. Last we spoke, I had been adamant about not being involved and yet, Edward was here.
Seconds later, Edward's padded steps grew louder down the hall until he entered the bathroom again. Sitting upright, I looked at him anxiously.
"Well, that was interesting," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Interesting?" I urged, about to tear something in my impatience.
"It appears Emmett just found out about James moments ago from Jasper…" He rolled his narrowed eyes toward me. I gave him a very lame smile in return. Unimpressed, Edward continued. "Anyway, Emmett came by to check and see if you were alright before going over to James's place for a beat down. Strangely enough, I just gave him the same talk you gave me before about not 'rushing in to swing the sword'." He shook his head wryly.
"But this is what I'm talking about, Edward. I live here and that's not going to change. I should be able to answer my own door. You can't push me aside and control everything like I'm a helpless lamb."
"You are a lamb," he interrupted.
I exhaled, giving him a disapproving look. I stood from the water, turning on the showerhead to rinse off quickly, using the short time to gather my thoughts. Edward leaned against the wall, watching me thoughtfully with one hand resting on the towel at his hip. I didn't want to be mad at him over this, but I had to set this precedence or we would never progress on equal terms.
"Edward… you just agreed not to take the reins," I started, stepping out and wrapping a fresh towel around me. Placing ducky number six beside the sink, I went to the mirror, attacking my tangled hair with a brush.
He pushed off the wall to stand behind me. Our eyes met in the mirror as I felt the heat of his chest on my back. His hand stopped mine, startling me as he slowly pulled the brush out of my grasp, our eyes connected the entire time.
"I lied," he answered simply, gently dragging the brush through my hair to loosen the knots.
Groaning and splashing, and…..naked wrestling? Oh my!
I am deeply touched by Phoenixhunter47's rec of IHYKM on The Backporch Recs Blog, orchestrated by Kuntrygal and Cella. Thank you ladies! You can check out their other fun fic recs at thebackporchrecs(DOT)blogspot(DOT)com. And a big thanks to Americnxidiot for mentioning Lawward on the TLYDF for her AHWards (all-human Edwards) character exploration post.
Check out Rosette-Cullen, one of the nicest authors in the fandom I know. She's got tons of stories and one-shots from All That Could Have Been, The Walk of Shame, The Forgiving Sea, etc, and lately I've been helping myself to her buffet of different flavors.