Hey. Enjoy. I won't keep you waiting. Long A/N though.
Chapter Twenty-One
Shoot Up in Flames
"That's far enough, Allison Grey!"
I saw surprise flit across Yami's handsome face; his amethyst eyes widening. Whether it was in recognition of Shadi's presence or because he felt betrayed, I couldn't tell- but I hoped for the former. I was ready to tell Yami everything! I was trying to do it right now. Why else would we be standing in the freezing cold in the dark? I'm not doing this for fun.
A crisp blast of wind howled loudly. Thank you mother nature, as if it wasn't cold enough already. Please blow me more.
"Allison Grey, you-"
A cold fury suddenly raged inside me. Like the time my teacher told me specifically not to study the calculus part because it wouldn't be on my final exam. And guess what? It was. I shouted the first thing that came to mind and whipped around, pointing dramatically, "INSUBORDINATION!"
Shadi attempted to say something but I was on a roll. And you don't stop a female when she's on a roll, especially me- I'll go wildebeest. How was it possible that in three days, I'd managed to get involved in basically everything that I shouldn't be? All I wanted to do was gawk a little bit at Yugi and fangirl over Yami and then go home! This was supposed to be my dream where everything was happy and fun. This isn't even supposed to be possible!
"Look here, wise guy, you did this!" I pulled the Millennium Heart into view, "You gave me this! Did you think I wasn't going to do anything? I'm not yours to control. Ever!"
And now I was shouting.
"And since when was it ever your job to tell me what I can and can't do?" I snapped, "Last time I checked, Slifer brought me here, not you! And he doesn't seem to have a problem with what I'm doing- it's only you! Tell me why that is?" I asked mockingly, putting a finger to my chin.
I turned to Yami with pleading eyes, trying to silently communicate that I wasn't a liar and that I never wanted to lie to him in the first place, "I'm sorry," that was all I could say in the heat of the moment. The ancient spirit seemed to be frozen, his mind slowly processing everything. It all just kind of exploded on him.
"And you know what Shadi, why is it even my job to-"
No!
I had just been about to say destroy the Millennium Heart when a loud warped voice spoke. I fumbled mid speech, Yama? I asked carefully.
The spirit must not know, the voice growled- it didn't sound human.
For a split second, an image of something massive flashed in front of me. All I saw was giant pointy teeth and narrowed eyes blazing. I recovered instantly and collected my thoughts, I don't lie, I hissed with frustration.
And then Yama's secret smile grinned at me, a finger pressed to his lips.
You can reveal all to the Pharaoh. But do not trust that spirit.
I hesitated, uneasiness stirring restlessly in the pit of my stomach. But I shrugged it off. I stared Shadi down and decided indeed Yama was right. Shadi couldn't be trusted. He'd probably do something drastic and purposely not break the Heart in order to say that he was helping Yami. No, I would finish that task myself. Yami could probably help me. But not Shadi.
Remembering that I was in a fiery argument, I continued on, bluntly changing tactics, "I'm…I'm not the kind of person to keep secrets- especially from my friends!" Why is this so hard to understand? "I feel dirty and horrible. It's just not in my nature, " I was calming down, but I could still feel the anger festering inside me, hissing restlessly "I'm going to tell Yami. If you say that Slifer brought me here to protect him, I'm going to do it my way and not yours!"
Shadi remained stone faced, his ice blue orbs narrowed.
But I wasn't going to back down. I returned his cold gaze, matching it and then intensifying it. He wasn't going to say anything? No explanation? Maybe give an apology? Admit something? Any sign that he cared…at all?
And then what happened next, will haunt me for the rest of my life. Just when I thought the storm was over and I had said what needed to be said, there was more. Words were said that I will never be able to take back. It's horrible to admit, but I meant everything I said. I wish it hadn't been Yami who had been caught in the cross fire. No one was supposed to know. Even I didn't know I felt that way. It all just came out. I'm not an angry person. I don't know where that anger and rage came from. It was as though something inside of me had been unlocked. Something I didn't know existed. And there was no way to stopping it.
"Do you think," I spoke in a trembling voice, "I want to be here? Stuck in this world for who knows how long?"
The hurt Yami expressed. The pain I caused. It is something I have to live with.
"Do you think I WANT to be HERE?" I yelled, glaring angrily at Shadi. "Do you think I like knowing that I'm STUCK HERE?"
Still Shadi said nothing, only infuriating me more.
"I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS!" I exploded, "I want to go home! My parents are probably freaking out! I left Sam all by himself at home. He could be dead right now. I need to go home!" I screamed. My legs could barely hold me up, they were shaking so badly. My heart was pounding and chills kept running up my spine. I didn't dare turn around to face Yami. I felt scared, a bit nauseated, but still rage bubbled inside me.
I wobbled, swaying back- expecting to fall or collapse, I braced myself. Instead, a pair of warm hands pressed themselves against my back, fingers gently gripping my shoulders. I relaxed into the light embrace, catching my breath. The strength to keep myself standing was gone and the tempest within me was dying slowly.
"Shadi," Yami's deep voice rumbled against my back and I felt safe- the anger melted away with just one touch. I let my head rest against his chest, while letting Yami hold me up as I collapsed pathetically against him, "What is the meaning of this?" he asked. I glanced up to see Yami with a slight look of anger directed at the guardian of the tombs.
"Please," I pleaded quietly, closing my eyes "Please, let me go home." I begged, "I can't do this anymore," I drifted my gaze to meet Shadi's electric blue one.
"No-"
Something inside me literally snapped.
Everything went pitch black. Voices echoed loudly in my head. Laughter. Screaming. Crying. I saw flashes of scenes I didn't recognize. Fire. Destruction. Death. The scenes shifted rapidly. A girl walking towards darkness. People running. An empty throne room. Again that inhuman thing appeared, only lingering for a second or two. I understood nothing of what I saw. And then everything became still. I was alone. After a few blinks, I was standing in front of Shadi, the world was righted.
I couldn't understand why Shadi was staring at me so coldly until I turned around.
"You did this," he explained calmly.
Laying a couple of feet away was an unconscious King of Games. He looked as though he had just had a run in with a tornado. I rushed over to his side, terror stricken. I brushed his blonde bangs out of the way and leaned over to listen for signs of breathing. Good, Yami wasn't dead.
I glared hatefully at Shadi, "What do you mean I did this?" I questioned carefully.
Shadi descended to the deck and walked over. Our eyes never strayed from each other, "You lost control and let your emotions go,"
His words weren't making any sense to me. "What do you mean I did this? I couldn't…it's not…how?…no," I shook my head determinedly. My thoughts became jumbled and I managed not to be able to produce a coherent sentence. I couldn't have done this. I didn't. I glanced down at Yami. No, I didn't do this. I couldn't!
"Calm down," Shadi ordered. He extended a hand and a faint light aura surrounded Yami. As he concentrated on the Pharaoh, he spoke, "You must always keep your emotions in check. The Millennium Heart reacts to strong emotions and amplifies that present feeling. It can, in rare instances, influence and overwhelm the emotions of those around you, should the current feeling be powerful enough. "
I was taken aback, "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" I demanded, outraged. I felt a slight twinge in my chest and I forced myself not to lose my temper.
Shadi gazed at me coldly, "You have nobody to blame but yourself, Allison Grey. Do not try to make excuses,"
But it wasn't…I didn't mean to…he should have… "Take it back," I said with disgust, attempting to remove the magical item from my person, "This is not for me,"
"No, it is not as simple as that," Shadi stated.
Stop telling me no!
"Slifer selected you-"
He also picked Tea too, I wanted to add.
"-You must take responsibility for the Millennium Heart. It belongs to you and only you," Shadi continued, his face expressions never betrayed his thoughts, "Allison Grey, as you have now learned, your role in this world is serious. You cannot ignore it anymore," he warned. Shadi must have sensed my rising panic, "But do not fear, Allison Grey, there are counter measure to prevent…this unfortunate happening," he chose his words carefully.
Was that compassion in his voice? But there was no time to wonder if the stoic guardian had expressed any emotion. "What?" I asked with defeat.
"All humans have light and dark within them; body and mind," the turban wearing man started, "In order for you to maintain control over the Millennium Heart, your light must either stay perfectly balanced with your dark or your light must outweigh the darkness within you," Shadi reached inside his robes and withdrew something small. He held out his hand to reveal a stone colored feather.
I raised a brow, "And this is…"
"A replica of the feather of Ma'at," Shadi said, "It will reflect your inner balance of light and dark. The whiter the feather is the stronger your light while the darker the feather becomes the stronger your darkness. Gray represents a neutral balance. It is yours to keep,"
I slowly reached out, ready to accept the generous offer.
He lies.
Jack? I questioned. It didn't sound like the lazy oaf I had previously met. I mentally frowned, What do you mean?
He withholds the real truth, just like beforethe voice answered. An faded image of Jack appeared before my eyes. He stood off to the side, his hands in his pockets and bangs obscuring his face. But he shook his head subtly.
"Allie, don't trust Shadi." It was almost like Jack was standing right next to me, his voice was crystal clear.
Yama's voice suddenly began whispering urgently in my ear, "Allie you must tell Shadi that you do not need his help. You can keep control over your own emotions,"
"The feather of Ma'at, although what Shadi says is true, does more than show your inner balance," Jack said, "The feather of Ma'at doesn't just help you, it is a way for Shadi to see into your soul. He can see your memories. He will always know how you feel," Jack seemed to be hinting at something as he said this, "-He will know about us. It is imperative that you turn Shadi's offer away,"
All this was said in a mere second or two, but surprisingly I managed to catch everything. There was no time to reply. After blinking once, my surroundings returned back to normal.
I pulled my hand back at last minute, "Thanks Shadi," I said coolly, "But I can't accept your help," I cast a look down onto Yami, his head rested peacefully on my lap while a serene expression blanketed his handsome features. I looked back at Shadi, "I know I can't take back what I did and I know that I will have to live the rest of my life knowing I hurt an important friend. But," I said sharply, "in order to make up for my stupidity, I need to keep control on my own," there that should be a satisfying, non-questionable, answer. I was actually quite pleased at my fast thinking skills.
It looked as though Shadi was going to insist I keep the feather, but he held his words back. Slowly he retraced his hand and pocketed the feather. "Very well," he said curtly.
"Also," I voiced loudly, "I'm going to tell Yami everything once he wakes up," I sent a challengingly look towards Shadi, daring him to say no.
Well that's a lie, a little voice inside me laughed, you're obviously not going to tell your precious Yami that you're a walking time bomb- he wouldn't think so fondly of you anymore. The voice chuckled, not that he'll like you once he awakes. He'll hate you.
I extinguished the voice and waited for Shadi's reply.
The spirit did not look pleased, "Very well," he said again, "But know this Allison Grey, you will have to face the consequences of your actions."
"I'm ready," I shot back.
Shadi turned his back, "Hn."
And with that the spirit vanished into the clouds.
-X-
I honestly wish things hadn't gone the way they did. That was nothing like I had planned. In my head everything had gone smoothly with no interruptions and Yami and I were still on good terms. Now I don't know what's going to happen. I'm scared and nervous and would like very much to run away. It's hard accepting what I've done. And the worst part is I regret that I said aloud my darkest thoughts, but I don't feel guilty about what was said. It's all true and I meant everything.
The air has been cleared. I feel light. It's easier to breathe. My head doesn't hurt. I don't feel so bad about myself. It's just heinously unfortunate Yami had to be around to hear it. Anyone else would have been better- preferably Kaiba, Bakura or Malik. But on some level I am happy.
Yami rested peacefully on the makeshift pillow I had constructed with my olive hoodie. Thankfully the air was still and I didn't have to endure the freezing cold. I waited patiently, enjoying the night view, my arms wrapped tightly around my legs. Every few minutes I would brush hair out of Yami's face. I think my fangirl love for him died. If only that hadn't happened, I could properly enjoy my alone time with Yami.
What would he think of me? I dreaded knowing. What would- oh god, what would Yugi think of me? Sweet, kind, little Yugi? I completely forgot about him. Crude! Yugi couldn't possible treat me kindly anymore. I hurt Yami! He's going to hate me too.
A grunt followed by subtle stirring alerted me to Yami's awakening. My heart raced as I watched amethyst orbs flutter open. They blinked, wandered the night sky and then shifted onto me. I offered a weak smile, trying my best to not let my emotions betray my thoughts. Before I flung myself into full on apology times a million, I would wait for Yami to become a bit more conscious.
"Allie?" he muttered softly, struggling to prop himself up.
I aided him in settling himself against the wall, "Hey," I replied back, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Yami took in more of the scenery before speaking, "That was…" he said, searching for the right words, "…interesting to say the least," Yami mused, sending me a jaded smile. He cast a quick glance at me, "I didn't know you felt that way. I'm sorry-"
He's apologizing to me?! "Yami no!" I burst out, "Don't apologize to me. It's me who needs to apologize. I'm so sorry that you got hurt. So, so sorry," I didn't know what else to say. Was there anything I could ever do to make up for it? "It's all my fault. I'm sorry." I smashed my forehead to the floor and waited for Yami to speak. My body shook in anticipation and fear. I wanted to cry. But that would truly be the lowest of low to cry, now.
What would he say? Waiting was hard. Part of me wanted him to tell me it wasn't my fault, but the other part knew that was wrong. I did this and now I have to live with it.
"A lot was said," Yami acknowledged, nodding to himself, "I need some time to think over what has happened,"
Don't cry! I sternly told myself. I picked myself up and nodded back numbly, "Of course," I said in a forced calm voice, although I could hear it cracking, "I'll let you and Yugi," I added quickly, "-be. If you still want to talk, I'll be in my room," I mumbled quietly. I turned to leave, pausing by the elevator, "Yami,"
Yami looked upwards.
"I'm really sorry. I know there is nothing I can ever do or say to undo what happened, but I'm sorry," I said. I didn't wait for a reply- or if there was any. I walked forward and closed the door.
-X-
Everyone seemed to be asleep when I arrived back downstairs- meaning I wasn't going to be interrogated by annoying, clingy Tea or bothered by Joey about the whereabouts of Yami. I guess they just pieced things together or assumed something and had the sense not to intrude. I settled myself back into my tiny room, plopping down on the comfy chair. I had raided the fridge as soon as I got in, eating all the mini snacks provided.
Was Yami going to come talk to me? Or was Yami going to spill to his friends what happened? These two questions invaded my mind and I found myself asking over and over. Staring at the clock didn't help calm my nerves. I hadn't felt this anxious about waiting since the time Sam was born and I was stuck in the waiting room…waiting.
I tried to occupy myself with other things, like playing the guessing games with my cards. I failed epically, only managing to guess, oh say…five cards: Magician's Valkyria, Sunlight Unicorn, Chaos Command Magician, Monster Reborn and Obnoxious Celtic Guardian. I suck.
The Heart laid innocently next to my deck and every now and then I sent it very dirty looks. Everything had become so complicated. An item that I originally thought did absolutely nothing- turns out to actually do something important. Seriously, just my luck. I mean why? Why? Too much responsibility. I'm barely capable of being a good older sister to Sam and now I have this. Thanks. And I know I'm complaining like a little child but it's not like there's anyone around to hear me. And as I have just learned, I can't keep my emotions bottled up.
"Okay, round two," I spoke aloud, taking my deck and slapping cards down onto the table. Heart of the cards, you will work for me.
-X-
Two more rounds of epically failing and I decided to call it night. I had kept glancing at my door throughout my games, but no ancient Pharaoh.
I was crushed. It was like a sign of rejection. I hadn't expected him to be okay with it all. But no appearance from Yami made it all real.
I propped myself up, tilting my head to face the window. The moon sparkled bright and I rested my head against the icy window pane, letting the cold numb me over. I closed my eyes for a bit with the intention of only sleeping a bit and then waiting the rest of the night for Yami. But I ended up drifting off to sleep.
What would come of tomorrow? I dreaded to know.
My life:
Well it's been a very long time. I was actually very surprised to realize that it's already March, nearly April. I updated in November. LONG TIME. Yeah I know. Trust me I know. You've no idea how much it bugged me that I hadn't updated in forever!
First off I got stuck (as usual) on how to open the next chapter. I had complex scenes that I had to write out and I just wasn't sure how to deliver them. It wasn't until last week that the opening that you read, hit me. And since then I have been working nonstop on this chapter. I intended when I took my break to only take a small break from writing this story, but that break turned into writer's block. It was first a break and then I just got plain stuck. Not fun. I shouldn't have taken a break.
We can also contribute my 'writer's block' to senior year. It was pretty crappy, but then I managed to turn everything around and everything has just been going great, since winter vacation. Senior year has been filled with lots of handwork, annoyingly long essays to write and lots of studying. Tests, tests, quizzes, projects, presentations. That was pretty much my life since I last updated. And don't get me started on AP Chinese. I hate it. Things only just got better recently because senior year is drawing to a close.
Another contribution would be that I had a mid life crisis. After realizing how long it had been since I had updated, I started to question myself as a writer. Did I want to be a writer? Was that what I wanted to do with my life? Or did I want to moonlight as a writer? Not have it as my professional occupation and only write when I had spare time. Because really all I have are my works for FF (I've been writing for four years now). I've known since 9th grade I wanted to be a writer and so it was terrifying having a lack of faith. So I took a long break from FF to think and to decide. Because I only applied to liberal arts colleges. I was kind of freaking out. MAJOR FREAKING! So I took time to work on my own works. I've had things planned out for a while, but I never started any of them. So yeah, I've been writing (not a lot though, when I could spare a moment) my own works for awhile.
Also I've been improving my diction and syntax and trying to advance my vocabulary thanks to AP Lang. I at first didn't like that class, but it has definitely grown on me.
The last thing that kept me away from the computer is I just lost the need to be around it. I mean, I'd have it open, but I wouldn't do anything. I've stopped being obsessed with having the need to constantly have my computer around. I stopped trying to watch my tv shows online. Instead I've been working on exercising, counting calories and more exercising. I will admit I was over weight- WAS. I'm proud to say that I've lost 13+ pounds. I'm getting ready for spring break and coming back to America for summer and college. I'd just get home, eat, work out and then fall asleep.
So moving on. I GOT INTO COLLEGE! Oh my god you have no idea how happy, relieved I was. No more stress of grades. The pressure is off. I applied early action (always apply early action for any of your colleges! That is my advice) to Bard and heard back in December 20th. It saved me money from applying to the rest of my schools, although I had just applied to Bennington the day before. But I got into Bennington as well, with a scholarship- but I think I'm still going to attend Bard. It's bigger and closer to NYC- I was looking forward to being able to commute to Manhattan.
Spring break is this Thursday. I'm going to Japan. FINALLY! It's my graduation present. Me and my friend. Going to shop and mack on some truly gorgeous boys.
Anyways, I've ranted and thank you for listening. Now I can finally talk about this chapter.
First off, I made a live journal just for this story. The link is on my profile. I haven't used it yet, but there is a pic of Allie up there for those of you interested to see who she is. Now that everyone knows this account exists, I will start to update it. Nothing major just statuses on how the story is coming along. I was going to wait until the very end of this story to put a picture of Allie, but then I realized that might take FOREVER.
Did any of you see it being Shadi? I was surprised that people thought it was Marik- lol but I knew it was Shadi so it was obvious to me. Hmm as you can see this chapter had a lot going on. Besides Allie flipping shit and losing it, did any of you catch any hints (there are several) that I left? Really analyze what was said and maybe try reading in between the lines to catch the hints. You do need to think for a bit about them. They are for future events. Let's see how many you caught on to ;) I had trouble writing out Allie's emotions and her melt down. I tried writing from Yami POV and 3rd POV, but it was all a fail.
This chapter is interesting because it explores other sides to Allie. Like I said in the beginning, Allie's the kind of go with the flow kind of girl, but she does have a serious side. I thought in the beginning, when I started this, Allie would be happy and funny all the time, but my writing has clearly objected to that.
Questions for you to think about: Hmm is Shadi the bad guy? What's Yami going to say? Is everyone going to find out now? What's Allie going to do?
My god I hope I haven't lost any of you guys during my MIA period.
XOXO:
Dontgotaclue- hope you still like Allie, even after this. Senior Year is coming to end and I'm looking very forward to graduating. The stress has taken its toll on me.
Aurineko- Were you surprised? I thought Shadi was the obvious choice, but lol you came up with Marik xp Actually I then thought of Ishizu, but chose Shadi instead.
candylover- Tea has an interesting role, but it won't be revealed until the Dartz arc. There was some fluff in this chapter unfortunately the situation was too grave for Allie to enjoy it. More fluff to come once they get to the cyber world.
Lindi-chan- College applications suck. Ha it's good you can relate to Allie, it shows that she's more real than fictional. I want people to be able to relate to her. So thanks.
ImmortalAngel92
koolkatx- school is going good. I hate AP Chinese. I understand nothing of what is being said in class and every time I take a test, I can't get higher than a C. It's my worst class.
Airheadninja- Woot we're almost done! I'm actually looking very forward to graduating as I think college will be more fun because people won't be idiots and caught up with petty drama.
EgyptianSoul88- Haha I know that you love Bakura and I had to keep that guy around somehow. Don't worry, you'll love what I'm going to do to Bakura in the next two chapters. Keep you eyes open for the clues I drop in the next chapter.
Anonymous Lizard- the voting is for who's going to end up Pharoah's Kinght. Tea or Allie. Although I know, I'm interested to see what you guys think.
yyh-ygo-fma haha I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Drama. Did you think it was going to be Shadi?
LadyGrimR
Suicide-sama there's a link on my profile to a live journal account dedicated to this story. The profile pic of that account is basically Allie. Just a reminder, Allie has layered, somewhat jagged hazel hair with a layered side fringe and brown eyes. Currently she is wearing a white tank top with a design on the back, a pair of dark jean shorts and an olive green hoodie. She is also wearing wedges, but I am somehow going to get rid of those shoes ;)
ScarletBlackberry- thanks, I hope you found this chapter just as unique and the plot in general still well written. I'm glad everyone is coming off right, I really hate when I make people ooh.
TexasDreamer01
I-am-a-kittyMEOW
GirXzimXfanatic
Invader Ivy
shells210
Review!
If anyone has good music recommendations, I'm all ears. I need more music to listen to.
ZTL
Edited 6/10/15- dialog between Jack and Yama and Allie has been tweaked. Trying to phase out the whole guilt about lying.