Disclaimer: Penguins of Madagascar and all related characters are the property of Nickelodeon, DreamWorks, and any or all related affiliates. Characters of my own creation are my property and may not be used by others without express permission. This fiction was created for the purpose of having fun and being creative, no money is being made in any way from its creation and posting.
Deviations
Chapter 21
By
Wildgoose
(It is a much as two weeks later and the scene opens up early in the morning as the POV of unknown persons move through the bedroom door in Steve's apartment towards a sleeping Marlene and Skipper. The floorboards creak slightly despite care being taken to be silent and Marlene stirs opening an eye only to have a camera flash go off in her face.)
Marlene: (cups her eyes in pain) OW! What the..?
Yuen/Christine/Crystal: Surprise! Come on Marlene, get up. It's the big day and there's a thousand things to do yet.
Marlene: (rubs her eyes) Do you guys have any idea what time it is?
Christine: Seven, …isn't it great! Besides, …do you have any idea how long it takes to get ready for a wedding?
Marlene: Um, …no. No I don't, …I've never done this before.
Yuen: Neither do we, …that's why we're doing this with such a wide margin for error. Now get up, ..we've got to get you over to Christine's place to get you ready and take pictures.
Marlene: (heavy sigh) Listen I don't meant to be rude and all since you've barged into my home unannounced but It's…. SEVEN! Come back in a few hours when you've found your minds.
Christine: Marlene, …do you remember how long it took to get you ready for our ladies night out? (Marlene nods) Okay, …that was a bachelorette party. THIS is a WEDDING, …note the emphasis in my voice. Also note that earlier we referred to it as the BIG DAY! The terminology alone suggests a great deal of preparation is required. Now get up, …and let's get the other girls up. You can handle that Marlene because frankly I'm afraid to wake a sleeping otter with claws. (Marlene Grumbles and pulls herself out of bed, pausing to look back at Skipper.)
Marlene: How can you sleep through all of this commotion? (Turns back to the girls) …And why do we have to do all of this at Christine's house? Won't she wonder why there are a bunch of penguins and otters in your apartment?
Christine: My mom did up the dress so if there are any wardrobe malfunctions she can fix them on the spot, …besides it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her dress before the actual wedding. It's also tradition so no arguments, …just go with it. …And my mom will be working in the shop downstairs, …if there are any problems then we bring the outfits to her and she fixes them on the spot in her shop, …sorry for being vague before.
Marlene: (yawns and climbs out of bed) Alright! Alright already, …I'm up!
Yuen: Awesome, ..Marlene you wake your kids and whichever penguins are female, …I can't tell. …And I'll wake Kitsune.
Marlene: You don't have to. (Yuen receives a metallic tap on the shoulder and turns to see the edge of a sword resting there. She turns further to see Kitsune standing behind her holding the blade.)
Yuen: (turns back to face Marlene) She sleeps with that thing, ..doesn't she?
Marlene: I'm not entirely sure that she sleeps. (The group walks out of the bedroom to wake the others to prepare to relocate to Christine's home. Steve having let the others in stands out of the way in the kitchen as the living room occasionally lights up with flash strobes. Once the bridal mob has moved sufficiently out of the way Steve makes his way into the bedroom and returns later with a small box in hand.)
Steve: Marlene, Kitsune, …did you ever have an opportunity to pick out accessories for your outfits? I believe the custom is the bride and bridesmaids are supposed to have something matching to link them. (Marlene's face pales)
Marlene: Um, ….no I completely forgot about that. (Pause) What are we going to do? (Crystal starts to offer a suggestion when she is cut off by Steve.)
Steve: I have a solution for you if you're willing to accept a gift. (Steve places the box on the counter top and opens it revealing a natural pearl necklace and matching bracelet.) I gave these to my mother on her sixtieth birthday, …unfortunately they found their way back to me three years later when she passed away. I believe that she would be honored to have the two of you wear them on this special occasion, ..and I would be honored as well. (He removes the necklace from the box and places it about Marlene's neck; He then removes the bracelet and places it on kitsune's wrist.) For the bridesmaids, I had to go out and buy these so I did my best to match the color, clip on pearl earrings, for obvious reasons.
Yuen: (smirks) Obvious reasons?
Steve: Yea, a lack of pierced ears or just a lack of actual ears. Clip on's should work for both feathers and fur, …I hope.
Marlene: (confused) You haven't had a job since September, …how are you paying for everything that you've been doing since then?
Steve: (shrugs with a long pause and a heavy sigh) Once my savings was used up, I turned to some mature savings bonds I had saved up that had been acquiring interest and when they ran out I borrowed against my 401K, ….the way I figure Social security won't exist by the time I'm old enough to retire so I'm going to be working until I die anyway. (Chuckles) Who needs a retirement plan, right?
Marlene: (stunned) You care so much you've been sacrificing everything you have to keep us afloat since day one? (Begins to tear up and rushed forward to embrace him in a hug) You're the closest thing I've had to a dad since I left San Diego when I was six months old.
Steve: (Laughs) Thanks, …now I feel really old. …But then I'd said before that you guys were the closest thing I'd had to family in a long time so I guess that kind of works, …sort of. (Looks her in the eye) Now go get ready, …you're getting married today. (Pause and turns to Crystal) Just out of curiosity, …how are you guys getting the animals to and from required locations today?
Crystal: (points to some oversized wheeled luggage they brought with them) It's not exactly traveling in style, but from what I heard from Hannibal after he got back, they've done this sort of thing before.
Steve: Hey, …whatever works. (The girls get their stuff, Yoshi and Pepper climb into one of the luggage bags and they all head for the door with Kitsune lagging behind with Steve.)
Kitsune: (looks at the bracelet and gestures) Thank you!
Steve: Now don't you refer to me as your dad or there really ARE going to be some moral issues about what we've been doing the past few months. (Kitsune smiles and kisses him, then jogs off to catch up with the others. Once the apartment door has closed Steve lets out a heavy sigh) Thank God Guys don't have to do as much to get ready for the big day. (Steve heads back to his spot on the floor where he had been sleeping next to Kitsune and sets the alarm on his watch for nine a.m. and the scene fades out as Steve goes back to sleep.)
(Cut to Christine's apartment a couple of hours later as the girls are all getting ready. Both Marlene and Kitsune's hair have been styled with Crystal being surprised that Kitsune's yellow highlights were natural instead of colored in. Kitsune eventually pulled a picture of an emperor penguin off the net using Christine's computer and pointed out the colorations and their location on the bird compared to herself. Yuen having already had her hair professionally done to save time is now working on Crystal and Christine. The idea is being tossed about as to whether anything should be done with Yoshi's fur to give it a sophisticated look for the occasion and pepper is attempting to attach the clip on pearl earrings while looking in a mirror.)
Pepper: (To herself) How do humans manage to attach these things? (Yoshi walks over and helps to attach them to Pepper's feathers about where the ears would be.) Thanks Yoshi. (Sighs as she looks in the mirror) Hmm, …shiny! (pause) I wish our zookeeper bent over backwards for us once in a while. (A knock is heard at the door and after Marlene opens it Steve steps in the door with a large suitcase on wheels and releases the remainder of the Philadelphia penguins.)
Steve: (looks about playfully) I hope everybody is decent! (Snaps his fingers) Darn, …you're all dressed.
Christine: Yea, …too bad for you.
Crystal: I see you took to my idea.
Steve: Yea, ..it seems to work pretty well. (Pause) Though I'll admit there have been times over the past couple years when I considered just stuffing the animals in the trunk and ditching my vehicle in the bay. (Looks at the animals) Not you girls, …the guys. I'm sure they told you about how they beat me unconscious so they could go AWOL from the zoo and while doing so robbed me of a couple hundred dollars.
Kitsune: (gestures) Rico spent most of that on me, …I apologize.
Steve: (amused) Rico mugged me so he would have date money? (The other girls chuckle)
Yuen: Hey, …if that doesn't say I care then what does? (Steve rolls his eyes and heads for the door)
Steve: As long as he showed you a good time. (Pause) Listen, …I have to meet the others at the fire hall to help out and set up my own equipment. Bring your own CD's if you have any special requests. Tony will be here at one to pick you all up. Did everybody make sure your cars were parked at the fire hall so you don't have to worry about a ride home later? (He receives various types of acknowledgement) All right then, …see you all at the church! (Closes the door behind him and the girls go back to what they were doing.)
Meg: Wow, ..what a difference Kitsune. I mean, Syron had described what you look like now but I don't think my imagination did you any justice. You look so comfortable being a human.
Kitsune: (gestures) It took time, …trust me. It's been worth it though.
Erin: We also heard that you'd made some major advancements in anger management.
Elisa: Not to mention we heard that you've been dating the zookeeper. (Pause) All of this time I thought I was the only one who was flexible, …way to go!
Kitsune: (gestures) Your mind is in the gutter as always, Elisa. Must you always be thinking about sex?
Elisa: You're saying that since you got together with this human you haven't? With you being as head over heels as we've heard?
Kitsune: (gestures) There's a difference, …..when you think about sex it's because you're a deviant and a nympho.
Elisa: (flusters a bit) Yea well, …you're a lot taller than you used to be, …and you're featherless. (Kitsune shakes her head a bit in pity)
Erin: I think we need to find a grindstone and sharpen your wit a bit there friend, ….because that was just dull. ( Astrid waddles up to Kitsune)
Astrid: Ms. Kitsune, …what does a bridesmaid do? (Kitsune tries to adequately explain what she understands little about herself and the scene fades out)
(Cut to Steve's apartment as the guys are doing what the girls were doing but with far less sophistication. Rico is standing in front of a mirror attempting to fasten a bow tie about his neck while Kowalski is trying to ensure with an anal amount of accuracy that it's on straight. Private is helping Skipper to dress Loki and Hannibal in their custom tuxedos.)
Skipper: There you go, Hannibal. You look like a regular penguin, …but with fur.
Hannibal: Why do we have to wear these things?
Skipper: It's a formal occasion, …and this is just what your required to wear. Don't worry it will only be for a matter of hours. Besides, when you see how great you look along with everybody else you'll be glad you did.
Kowalski: Just do your best not to get dirty or mess up those outfits or the entire wedding will be ruined and Marlene may very well hate you for the rest of your natural existence.
Loki: (Looks worries) Seriously? (Expression changes to that of doom) Does that mean I should just run away now because I don't think I can stop being me.
Skipper: Not to worry, Loki. If your mom does get mad at you it will only be until the end of the pregnancy. Once her body gets itself back into whack she probably won't remember a thing about what she ever said to who. It's a girl hormone thing.
Private: Does that mean she'll forget about ever being married to you? Would that constitute what the humans call a divorce?
Skipper: Seal those loose lips Private, …we don't need any ships sunk around here!
Private: Ships? (Pause) Are we going sailing?
Kowalski: No, no, Private. Skipper is simply ordering you not to jinx everything that he's managed to accomplish over the past five months thereby ruining his entire life and shredding every moment of happiness he's ever had with Marlene.
Private: Oh, …so I should just be quiet then? (Everybody nods and Skipper moves from Hannibal to Loki in dress preparation. Kowalski looks over at Rico who is still fussing about with the bow tie.)
Kowalski: NO! It's two centimeters too far to the left, …why couldn't you just leave well enough alone! Can't you people understand that a wedding is all about perfection?
Skipper: Kowalski, …look about at the crew we've got in this room and then ask yourself if you'll ever be able to achieve that within this lifetime.
Kowalski: (looks down and sad) No, ..I suppose not. (Looks up with inspiration) But if I could actually build that time machine out of the zookeepers cell phone I could keep coming back to this moment over and over until I DO achieve perfection. (Rubs his flippers together) YES, HALLELUJIA! I have a new found purpose for my life, …I will build that thing if it takes my dying breath and if not me then my offspring will finish it for me.
Skipper: Since when do you have an offspring, Kowalski?
Kowalski: (looks embarrassed) Oh um, ..I don't. Not yet anyway, ..but rumor has it that Erin is expecting one from me.
Skipper: Females, …you'd think they'd at least ASK first before thrusting natures will upon us. (sighs) Look Kowalski, …I'll admit that this time machine idea sounds interesting and it could darn well come in handy at some point. (Pause) But, ….there's also a lot of potential for trouble. Any time you watch a movie that involves time travel the whole world goes to the red squirrel in a hand bag because one tiny little thing was changed. We can't AFFORD to have the world go to the red squirrel in a hand bag, Kowalski.
Kowalski: (begins to sulk) Why does everybody ELSE always get to build the good stuff? WHY!
Private: Who's everybody else?
Skipper: (sighs) Look Kowalski, …don't get your feathers in a molt. You can try to build the machine but I want your absolute word on your honor as a penguin, …that you will never use it unless it's to save the life of someone we care about. Is that understood?
Kowalski: But, …I CAN still use it under those circumstances, right?
Skipper: Provided you can actually build the thing, yes.
Kowalski: I'll TAKE that deal! (Laughs maniacally) There's ALWAYS somebody in trouble, …I could end up using the machine every other day.
Private: Oh dear, …I hope this doesn't come back to bite us in the bum.
Skipper: Not worry, Private. Kowalski's experiments usually don't backfire THAT badly. (Private turns to the TV in the background as the news broadcasts a story regarding the latest sighting of the green rage fueled monster that has been plaguing the NY area.)
Private: (chuckles nervously) I'm not so sure, …he DOES have his moments. (Skipper walks over to the TV)
Skipper: Keep a sharp eye out men, …stopping that thing could very well be our next mission. (Kowalski. Private, and Rico all begin to whistle quietly and waddle away slowly) What…?
Kowalski: Nothing, …nothing at all. (Changes subject) SO, …did anybody see that car Kitsune brought back from her ladies excursion?
Skipper: I saw it, …winning it in some kind of contest seems kind of fishy to me though. STILL, …it is a sweet, sweet, ride.
Private: So what do you think will happen to it once she comes back to us?
Skipper: What I think, private. Is that the lemurs are going to get their doors blown off the next time we have a race. (Rico begins to jump about and grunt to signal that he volunteers to drive.)
(Cut to a church a couple of hours later as Steve enters through the rear of the building with Skipper and crew just behind him. The church has been done up a little bit by those working at the theater, bows decorate the edge of each pew with ribbons connecting them until they reach the sections that are intended to be occupied. Unfortunately no one involved in the wedding knew how to play the piano so traditional wedding music is set up to play though the church's P.A system. As Skipper and company begin to look about the church they are observed to be wearing their own versions of formal attire. Skipper wears a rented tuxedo with white rose attached to his lapel, the penguins, having their own natural tuxedos only wear a bowtie about their necks and a white rose clipped to their feathers over the right chest. Loki and Hannibal each wear the custom upper half tuxedos that were created for them and they have matching flowers as well. The bridal party has not arrived yet so the animals take the opportunity to have a look around.)
Kowalski: So this is where humans come to practice their fanatical beliefs, huh? Interesting…
Skipper: Interesting indeed, …but being that this God character is supposed to be such a great guy I'm sure he won't mind us poking around his place a bit. Rico, Private, …give me a perimeter check! I want to make sure this padre guy is who we're told he is.
Kowalski: Um Skipper, …is it possible that you're being a little OVER paranoid? This person is doing you a favor by marrying you to Marlene without knowing anything about either of you.
Skipper: When you've lived the kind of life I've lived, Kowalski. There's no such thing as over paranoid. Now let's have that perimeter check people! (Private and Rico salute and then belly slide off to check things out.
Steve: You just can't help being you, eh Skipper? Even on your wedding day?
Skipper: Not even on my death bed. (Pause) I let my guard down when we were in the Falkland islands and what happened? Manfriedi and Johnson bought the farm, ..never to be heard from again.
Steve: I don't know how to tell you this, Skipper. …But Manfriedi and Johnson are alive and living in the Falklands. I don't know why you're always making up stories about how they died.
Skipper: Alive? Wait,…what are they doing there if they're alive?
Steve: Well first off, …Manfriedi's name wasn't Manfriedi. It was Frieda and she and Johnson were an item for a long time right under your nose.
Skipper: (astonished expression) Holy composite fish wafers! Manfreidi was a girl?
Steve: I can't believe you never figured it out. I mean, …granted this was a number of years ago before when they actually let females into combat but it wasn't THAT long ago. (Pause with a smile) You never noticed that they tended to spend a lot of time together?
Skipper: Of COARSE I did, …that's why the stories always include both of them but STILL. For Manfriedi to be a girl? How did you know?
Steve: Well as far as penguin appearance humans can't distinguish male from female, … but the lab work that the vet routinely runs never lies. I Just never saw a need to say anything, …she did the job as well as anybody else so why should it matter. No doubt something you've learned over the years is that I bend the rules a lot.
Skipper: So…where are they?
Steve: Like I said they're still in the Falklands, …they jumped ship literally and figuratively speaking during that mission for the purpose of pairing off and raising a family. There are a number of penguin colonies living wild in the Falklands so they figured it would be the best chance for their family to live a normal life.
Skipper: What the…? (Frustrated pause) How did you know about all of this?
Steve: They came to me, …Kitsune isn't the only penguin who knows how to write you know. After they bailed I quietly handled their KIA paperwork and never mentioned the actual circumstances to command.
Skipper: Why didn't they come to ME? I'm the Skipper?
Steve: Because she was secretly a girl posing as a guy under your bill. I'm certain she figured you'd be angry, …not to mention she'd be court marshaled for misrepresenting herself. (Smiles) Historically speaking, …she's not the first girl to pose as a guy to get where they want to be in life. Especially in the military.
Skipper: What! No, …stop! Manfriedi and Johnson WERE killed in the Falklands when an explosive charge they were setting went off to soon. There were pieces of them everywhere, …I saw it happen.
Steve: (smiles) It was subterfuge, Skipper. What you saw was raw chicken chunks and molted penguin feathers that were stuffed inside of the charge. I should know, …I built it. (Pause) Anyway, …the plan was that just as the bomb went off they were to allow the concussive to force send them overboard into the water while everyone was distracted. Then they were supposed to swim to shore and start a new life.
Skipper: (skeptical) How do you know this plan went accordingly? Being that close the blast would have killed them. (Pause) Come to think of it, …how did they know who you were before WE did?
Steve: Well, ..being explosive experts their tactical gear was designed to protect them against explosion and I receive communications from them periodically. Usually a picture postcard of their family, ..I have a number of them saved in a little box at home if you want to see them. (Pause) To answer your other question, …because you're paranoid and closed minded and they weren't. They had a much easier time seeing the big picture, …like how much better it would be to have a family as opposed to waiting until a bomb really DID get them.
Skipper: (rubs his eyes) I just can't believe this, ..all of this time they were..
Steve: Alive?
Skipper: That and…(Steve's cell phone rings cutting Skipper off)
Steve: (picks up) Hey Tony. (Pause) No problem we'll be ready. (Hangs up) Shows on people, …they're on their way. (The other theater employees begin to make their way into the church as Steve hangs the phone up. Steve looks about to see who has arrived.)Well, …people are showing up which is good. I just would like to know where the priest is. (Private and Rico belly slide back to them)
Private: The perimeter was secure up until a moment ago when people started to show up.
Skipper: It's alright, private. They have authorization to be here. Have you seen the priest, …a human wearing some kind of robes.
Rico: (grunts) We tied him up in the back, …he didn't know who we were so we thought he might be a security risk.
Steve: What did they say?
Skipper: They tied him up in the back.
Steve: (runs off to check things out) Oh for the love of God! (Steve comes back ten minutes later with the priest in tow uttering protests.) Look, …I said I'm sorry. I'll deal with the problem after the ceremony. (Sighs and looks at the animals) Okay guys, …take your positions like we planned. Skipper and company take positions on the right side of the isle with the penguins lined up behind and to the side of Skipper with the otters behind them. (Friends are continuing to enter the church and take seat in the pews as they get ready) Okay, …when the bridal party gets here they'll enter behind us and proceed into a side room until they are completely ready. Don't turn to look at them because you're not supposed to see the bride in her dress until she presents herself before you and the priest. When they're ready they will approach the isle, wedding music is set to play and they will progress up the isle and take their places opposite of the groom's party. Everything during the ceremony will be orated to you so just follow instruction. A really big detail is that after the priest dictates the wedding vows to you, …you don't take time to think about it, ..don't argue the vows, don't question the vows. Just say "I do." I mean unless you really ARE uncertain about whether you want to marry Marlene, ….but I think since this was all your idea she might be traumatized and the rest of us annoyed given what we've gone through to set this up for you.
Skipper: (sighs deeply) There's no question at all.
Steve: Excellent! (Turns to the animals) Guys, ..your function is ceremonial. You just stand there and make the groom look good. (Pause) Given that Kowalski is next to you, I assume that you chose him to be your best man?
Skipper: My what?
Steve: (sighs and smacks his hand against his forehead) There's always a forgotten detail. (Pause) Kitsune is Marlene's maid of honor, she stands next to the bride during the wedding and helps with the dress as the bride makes her way down the aisle. The best man is responsible for holding the rings until the priest asks for them.
Skipper: I uh, …I don't know who to choose. All of my people are important to me . Why don't you do it, ..that way I don't have to hurt feelings by playing favorite.
Steve: I'm not involved, besides then the two parties would be uneven. The bride has six people, ..and the groom has, …oh wait.. Crap… (Skipper looks back at his party. After a moment Hannibal steps out of line and walks forward to Skipper.)
Hannibal: I'd like to volunteer, dad. It would be an honor to stand opposite of my sensei. (Skipper looks about for objections and after hearing only silence he gestures for Hannibal to take his new place behind and to the right of him.)
Steve: That works, …I guess I'll just stand at the end of the line here when the ceremony starts and hope that no one notices I have a suit instead of a tux. (smiles) Crisis averted, ….I'll be at the door waiting for Tony. I need to talk to him before the wedding. (Pats Skipper on the shoulder) Good luck! (Does his best Leslie Nielson) "I just want you to know, …we're all counting on you." (Walks toward the door at the rear)
Private: (chokes a bit) I never realized getting married was so important.
Kowalski: It must take a brave soul, …no wonder skipper is the penguin for the job.
Rico: (regurgitates a Thompson sub machine gun) (grunts) Don't worry, I've got your back!
Skipper: (looks his men over) Stand down men, …I ask only that you stand at my side and be the team mates that I've always been proud to serve with.
Rico: (grunts) Aw shucks…..(re-Ingests the machine gun)
Skipper: On second thought, …stand by with the grapple gun Rico. Just in case Marlene has second thoughts and tries to be a runaway bride. (Rico laughs with sinister intent as he regurgitates Kitsune's grapple gun. As Rico does this Hannibal becomes slightly insecure about his appearance.)
Hannibal: (Removes his sword from his back) Should I have this at my waist instead,…I think that's how the samurai traditionally wear them.
Skipper: Are you worried about impressing somebody?
Hannibal: I want Sensei Kitsune to be proud of how I look, …she trained me and I should reflect well on her.
Skipper: You really take this teacher-student thing seriously don't you.
Hannibal: it means the world to me.
Skipper: Have no fear, Hannibal. She'll be proud of you no matter what, …I know I am. (Hannibal secures the sword about his waist.)
Hannibal: Thanks dad!
Skipper: No problem, son.
Kowalski: Will you two stop it, ..your making me jealous. It's bad enough Erin wants an egg, …now you're making ME want one.
Skipper: Turn off the old gut instinct, Kowalski. It's hearing too much love ,mush. Go with the think melon this time around.
Kowalski: Understood!
(Cut to the rear of the church as a limousine pulls up. Once stopped Tony gets out from the driver's seat and opens the rear door for the bridal party. The first to get out is Yoshi wearing her little red with black Kimono, a white corsage on her right paw, and a white flower in the permed fur on her head. Next to get out are the penguins with Astrid wearing an identical outfit with a flower clipped to the feathers on her head. Yuen, Christine, and Crystal are next wearing human size identical outfits with styled hair, followed by Kitsune who's Kimono is black with red but with same color flowers and her sword is tucked into the band about the waist. Last to exit is Marlene wearing the gown that had altered for her, it is off white with blue accents and silver dust. Lace covers her wrists down to the fingers and a lace veil is clipped to her hair. Tony gets the door to the church as the bridal party helps Marlene with her dress as she walks. The scene snaps to the inside of the church in the side room as the girls are all performing final checks.)
Marlene: (As Yuen checks her hair Marlene looks down at her hands as they've begun to tremble slightly) I can't believe this, …I'm actually nervous.
Yuen: It's normal wedding jitters, …what's unbelievable about it?
Marlene: it's just a symbolic ceremony.
Christine: And that's what your mind is saying, …but your heart knows better. You're heart knows that this is for real, …that Skipper wants to be with you for the rest of his life so badly he'll do whatever it takes to show you. (Marlene laughs nervously)
Marlene: I wonder if Skipper is nervous too.
Yuen: Probably, …but guys show it differently. They just get sweaty palms and sweat rings around their armpits. (The sound of a toilet is heard as Kitsune emerges from the bathroom.)
Crystal: AGAIN? Seriously Kitsune, …you should probably make an appointment with a doctor if that stomach bug won't go away. Those things are usually gone within a few days.
Kitsune: (writes) I'm fine, …I'm sure it's just nerves.
Yuen: What do you have to be nervous about? (Marlene leans over and whispers that Kitsune and Steve will need to part when they go back to the zoo.) Oh….
(The scene snaps to just outside the church where Tony is having a cigarette while talking to Steve.)
Tony: So how are you financially after all of this?
Steve; Let's not go there, Tony.
Tony: Yea,..BULL let's not go there. Marlene let me know what you've been doing these past months to keep them afloat. I know you're this great guy, Steve. BELIEVE me, I know. …But you can only do so much by yourself. Now what are you going to do after they go back?
Steve: I'll be alone again, …what's to worry about?
Tony; That IS what's to worry about, …you used to get so depressed over the nightmares that I was certain you were going to off yourself. (Steve smiles) Look, …how many times do I have to tell you. If you need something, you come to me. You need a friend, a drink, some money, whatever! (Grabs Steve about the shoulder) I thought things had turned for the best when Kitsune came to live with you , …you were happier, the nightmares were fewer, …I could go on. I thought at first it was weird,…I mean she used to be penguin. …But then I figured, …we always hear about how God works in mysterious ways, …this HAS to be one of them.
Steve: How did the conversation go from my financial problems to my love life?
Tony: How do I know, …ask God. (Pause) Getting back to the original topic though, …how can I help you?
Steve: I guess I won't have any choice but to go back to work at the zoo, …that combined with back pay from the military should get me back on my feet eventually.
Tony: Uh huh, ….well in the meantime I'm going to show up at your place tomorrow afternoon with my check book and we'll go over your bills. (Pause) So have the animals decided when to go back to the zoo?
Steve: (sighs) I have no idea if Marlene and Skipper want to do a honeymoon, …so I'd say a week maybe two at the most. Marlene came into about fifteen grand at the casino a couple weeks ago, …so I'm going to suggest some places they could go. (Long pause) I have no idea what to do with that Porsche Kitsune came home with. I don't think I'd have the heart to sell it, …I mean it's already registered and insured for a whole year, paid for up front.
Tony: You want to know what I think? (Doesn't wait for a reply) Let Skipper and Marlene do their honeymoon, …have the pups go back to the zoo with the penguins and wait for their parents, ..and you and Kitsune take that Porsche and drive somewhere. Drive down to the Florida keys and spend a few days on the beach. Say your goodbyes properly and so forth, …I'll hook you up with some cash, …fugedaboudit. (Points a finger at Steve) I don't want to hear about how you won't take it either. Just remember to stop at the South Carolina border to pick me up some firecrackers. (The priest comes out through the door to talk to Tony) Oh hey, …father Michael! How are you doing?
Michael: I wanted to talk to you about this wedding, Tony. When you told me there would be some animals involved in the service I figured you were talking about a couple of family pets, …dogs or something. (Pause) These are zoo animals, Tony. A lot of them! I'm worried they might stampede on me or something, I'm afraid to approach them.
Tony: Father, …I give you my word. Those animals will act as human as anybody else here, …there will be no stampedes.
Michael: Two of them tied me up, Tony! Tied up by PENGUINS!
Steve: (Laughs nervously) Like I said, …I'll take care of that after the service.
Michael: (sighs) If the board of deacons finds out about these animals , …I mean what if they poop all over the place.
Tony: Father, ..have you ever seen a penguin or an otter use the toilet?
Michael: No
Tony: I have, …trust me you'll be fine. There's a lot more going on here than meets the eye.
Michael: So I've noticed. (Pause) Look Tony, …I just don't know if I'm comfortable doing this anymore.
Tony: (sighs) That's okay Mike, ..I understand. But listen, …when Angelo Calebrese comes to me the next time I'm not so sure I'll be comfortable anymore about lying to him and saying that I have no idea where you are. Or have you forgotten why you became a priest and went into hiding in the first place. (Pause) He still wants your tongue mounted on his wall I think. (Very long awkward pause)
Michael: I think I just became okay with all of this.
Tony: Hallelujah! Let's go have a wedding already, …oh and if any of the animals should happen to talk. You didn't see or hear anything, capice? (The priest looks confused as they head inside to get the wedding underway.)
(Snap back to inside where Skipper and company are still waiting as Steve takes his place with the penguins and the remainder of the guests is seated. The wedding music begins to play, Marlene and her party make their processional step by step down the aisle until they join Skipper in front of the priest and take their places just before the music stops. The priest looks at all of the animals standing quietly upright with formal attire instead of on all fours or otherwise and then swallows before proceeding with a twenty minute speech about life and the meaning of marriage.)
Priest: (after the speech has concluded) Dearly beloved, …we are gathered here this day to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. If there is anyone here within the sound of my voice who can show just cause why these two should not be joined, …let them speak now or forever hold their peace. (Long pause as the priest looks about) Skipper, …do you have the rings? (Skipper turns to Hannibal who shrugs and then to Kowalski who shakes his head. Rico looks about and then regurgitates a grenade and earnestly points to the ring connected to the pin.)
Rico: (grunts) Here's a ring, Skipper!
Skipper: I'm afraid that's the wrong kind of ring, Rico. Thanks for trying though.
Rico: (grunts) Aww… (A whistle is the heard from Kitsune as she tosses a box over to Hannibal. Hannibal then hands the box to Skipper who opens it and hands the rings to the priest who places the rings on a decorative pillow.)
Priest: (quietly) Skipper, place the ring on Marlene's finger. (Skipper takes one of the rings from the pillow and then takes Marlene's hand and complies) Skipper Dominic Penguin, will you take Marlene to have and to hold, …for better or for worse, …in sickness and in health, …for rich or for poor, …and forsaking all others keep her only unto yourself for as long as you both shall live?
Skipper: (looks Marlene in the eyes as his voice flutters slightly) I do.
Priest: (quietly to Marlene) Place the ring on his finger. (Marlene takes the other ring from the pillow and then takes Skippers hand and complies) Marlene Desiree Otter, …will you take Skipper to have and to hold, …for better or for worse, …in sickness and in health,… for rich and for poor, …and forsaking all others keep him only unto yourself for as long as you both shall live?
Marlene: (nervously smiles) I do.
Priest: Then by the power vested in me, …by the catholic church and the city of New York, …I now pronounce you husband and wife. (Pause) Skipper, …you may kiss your bride. (Skipper gently lifts Marlene's veil )
Skipper: (looks into Marlene's eyes) You're so beautiful… (They kiss for a lengthy amount of time. When they finish the priest directs them to face the guests)
Priest: Ladies and gentleman, …I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Penguin. (Clapping erupts from the pews as Skipper and Marlene begin to walk back down the aisle holding hands as some of the guests throw rice on them and the scene fades out.)
(Cut to an hour and a half later after having many pictures taken. Skipper, Marlene, and the others from their parties join their guests at the fire hall. The guests, many of which had a hand in setting up, have already arrived and have been waiting while sampling the hors d'oeuvres. Steve being the master of ceremonies for the evening begins to announce the wedding parties with each female regardless of species being escorted by a male until finally Skipper and Marlene are announced as Mr. and Mrs. Penguin.)
Steve: (Standing at his DJ equipment with microphone in hand) Ladies and gentleman, ...the bride and groom will now take the floor for the first dance.
Skipper: (Quietly) What, …I don't know how to dance!
Marlene: (Smiles) It's okay, …follow my lead. I picked a few things up at my bachelorette party. (Steve starts the music with Marlene and Skipper taking the dance floor as "Love Story" by Taylor Swift begins to play. (Camera flashes begin to go off as Marlene leads Skipper onto the dance floor and then begins to lead the dance.) (Chuckles) You're picking this up pretty quickly, Skipper.
Skipper: So far this is pretty easy, …it's just like waddling in circles.
Marlene: Interesting analogy. (Looks down and smiles) You know, ..I was so afraid that somebody was going to say something about why we shouldn't be married.
Skipper: Why would anybody do that?
Marlene: I don't know, ..I mean we are really animals. Maybe one of the humans we know could suddenly see it as against their sense or morals or something.
Skipper: I wasn't worried at all.
Marlene: No..?
Skipper: Of course not, ..Rico and Steve were both packing. They'd agreed to take out anybody who tried to ruin our day. Not to mention Kitsune and Hannibal would have done their thing.
Marlene: Wonderful, …the stage was set for our wedding to turn into a massacre.
Skipper: All in a day's work for a commando penguin. (Marlene laughs nervously and then holds her palm to her belly) Is everything okay?
Marlene: Fine, …the baby just moved I think. (Pause) I'm worried, …about what will happen to the baby and I when we go back. As an otter, …I'm well past the due date.
Skipper: (sighs) We'll make sure the vet is nearby, ..I promise I won't let anything happen to either of you. (The song ends and they kiss before leaving the dance floor and finding their way to the place of honor at the table.)
Steve: (with microphone) Ladies and Gentleman, ordinarily the custom is for the bride to dance with her parents. As it stands they could not be here today and it was once said that I was the closest thing to a father since childhood, …with that in mind I would like to request a dance with the bride. (Marlene looks surprised and then comes back out to the dance floor.) Rico, …I'm told your something of a party animal so if you can handle the equipment I have the next song already in cue.
Rico: (grunts) Wahoo! (Belly slides to the table up front as Steve walks out to join Marlene.)
Marlene: (As Steve approaches her) You trust him to run your rented equipment?
Steve: The other penguins vouched for him but if any of his cockroach buddies show up to ruin this party I'll shoot him in the cloaca. (They begin to dance as Rico starts the next song. "All the Way" a duet by Frank Sinatra and Celine Dion pours from the speakers.)
Marlene: Wow, …I didn't know you could dance. You're good!
Steve: My first job out of high school was as a DJ for this business called entertainers. They'd train you and then for a while a portion of your proceeds went to them to cover costs. I did that for about two years, …weddings, christenings, …you name it. Part of being the master of ceremonies was that you had to know a variety of dances, …some of them very stupid ones. Whatever you had to do to make the occasion fun. I'll do my best to make things fun here tonight but after past injuries I'm going to pay for It in the morning. (smiles)
Marlene: I'll do my best to have fun. (The song draws to a close and they part with Marlene heading back to her table. Once back at the microphone Steve calls Marlene back out to the floor.)
Steve: You thought I was done with you, didn't you? (Marlene blushes) May I please have all of the eligible ladies out on the floor, …It's time for the bride to throw the bouquet. (Marlene looks confused for a moment but then Christine comes out to explain things to her. A group of women, penguins and one otter take positions on the floor behind Marlene who's expression is priceless.) Guys, … If I could take the time to point out that at times this is loosely referred to as ladies football. (Pause) Whenever you're ready, Marlene. (Marlene turns to face away and then with a deep breath tosses the bouquet over her head into the crowd of females behind her. The free for all that takes place next resembles nothing short of professional football as predicted. Erin belly slides across the floor and then using one of the other ladies as a ramp vaults into the air and almost has the bouquet but is tackled by Yuen. The flowers bounce from hand to hand until finally four legs beats two as Yoshi catches the bouquet in her teeth just before it hits the ground. A round of applause erupts from the guys and Yoshi takes a bow.) Okay Marlene, ..NOW I'm done with you. (Smiles with evil intent as Christine informs Marlene of what comes next while Yuen pulls out a chair onto the floor for her to sit on.) It's SKIPPERS turn. ( A risqué theme is played for fun as the spotlight is turned on Skipper. Al pushes Skipper out onto the floor as he is informed of his role to be played.)
Skipper: (looking at Marlene sitting in the chair smiling at him) We seem to keep meeting like this.
Marlene: (Jogs one leg up and down a few times with a sly smirk.) How bad do you want it, Skipper?
Skipper: (gulps a bit and kneels down to reach under Marlene's dress to withdraw the garter from her leg) Now what am I supposed to do with this thing? (Marlene reaches forward grabbing Skipper by his bow tie and then pulling him close so she can whisper into his ear) Oh, …that's not so bad. (clears his throat and stands up)
Steve: May I please have all of the eligible males out on the floor please. (several men, penguins, and two otters take places on the floor behind Skipper as he turns away. A moment later he throws the garter. This time the opposite happens, ..all the males simply watch the garter as it flies through the air and then the group quickly parts allowing it to land in Hannibal's head.) Okay, …..I did not see that one coming. Way to show some effort there guys. (Sporadic shouts come from the remaining males)
Guys: We like being single!
Steve: You guys suck, ..I just want you to know that. (Sighs as Yuen comes up to talk to him) Ladies and gentleman, I've just been informed that dinner is ready. So we're going to start with the head table, will the bride and groom please lead your table over to the buffet and then we're going to go around the room clockwise. After dinner we'll get this party started right! (Steve puts on a set of soft music to play during dinner and watches as the first table moves to fix their plates.)
(Cut to about an hour and a half as all of the guests are finishing their meals and Steve opens the floor for dancing. To her surprise Yuen is approached by Rico who flutters his eyes at her in suggestion, after a moment of internal debate she laughs nervously and accepts by picking him up and walking to the dance floor with Rico suspended in her arms as she slow dances to "I swear" by all 4 one. As Steve cues various party lighting, moving lights and a glitter ball, he makes sure to have his eyes on his instruments and not the lights so as to avoid flashbacks. A moment later Tony walks up and offers Steve a pair of super dark sunglasses to dampen the lights so he can keep an eye on things. As Steve looks up he notices that all of the animals have joined the dance floor, Kowalski slow dances with Erin in his flippers and her head against his shoulder, Pepper has led Private in a similar capacity, Syron dances with Tony as he holds her off the ground in his arms, Astrid and all three pups just sort of do their own thing while jogging about the dance floor while trying to dodge beams of light from the glitter ball. Shortly after Meg and Elisa enter the dance floor with humans of their own. After a series of songs Steve clears the floor of free dancing and begins recruiting for party dances. I.E the electric slide, the chicken dance, etc. after which the floor is opened to free dancing again during which everyone switches partners frequently regardless of species. Eventually Steve Spies Kitsune sitting alone at her table to he calls Rico over once more and walks over to her.)
Steve: May I have this dance?
Kitsune: (gestures) I was afraid you were too busy to ask.
Steve: I'm never too busy for you. (He escorts her to the floor for a slow dance, …once that is over Rico unexpectedly kicks it into high gear and the speakers begin to pulse with heavy bass club music as he goes to work on the turn table. Kitsune places her head in her palm in an "oh no" gesture.) It's okay, …that was already in the cue. He just skipped over several songs, …if I remember the play list that's "Gonna Make You Sweat" by C &C Music Factory. (Smiles) Do you want to have a go at it? (Kitsune looks very uncertain.) It's cool, …just follow my lead if you want. If not, …just watch and know I'll need some help in the morning. (Steve takes a number of steps back and begins to groove with the music in a hip hop improve kind of dance that almost resembles break dancing at times. Before long all three pups have joined in and have caught up in the dance moves while even throwing in coordinated gymnastics between them. After a time Steve exits the floor and allows the pups to take the lime light with their antics. After a while they receive repeated cheers of "Go otter go otter go!" Rico continues to heat up the room with club music that eventually has most of the guests on the floor. Steve takes a walk back up to the table to keep an eye on things and then a while later relieves Rico to slow things down again. )
(The Pace of the party changes from time to time, and speeches are made towards the married couple by both human and animal. The pups repeatedly make a spectacle of themselves on the floor either by themselves or sometimes with a human, dances are shared throughout the evening, and a good time is had by all until the midnight hour when the event is scheduled to end. After the guests say their goodbye's, shake hands, give kisses and well wishes, and thanks for the great time the hall is cleaned up by a select few who stayed behind. At that time Steve Invites Kitsune over to his table before he breaks down his equipment and shows her a webcam he's had attached to his computer the whole night long facing the party. Steve pulls up a minimized window to show he's had Ayame on a video chat the whole evening so she could watch Kitsune have a good time. Steve turns the camera to face Kitsune and Ayame waves and begins to talk to Kitsune. Kitsune still uses notes to converse but it's still a conversation she's never had before. Before the chat ends Ayame introduces Kitsune to a fox pup that she had taken in shortly after Yoshinatzu died in the interest of understanding both her brother in law as well as Kitsune a little better.)
Ayame: (Japanese) This is Uijo, ….he has been helping me to understand what my brother saw in you that no one else did all of those years. I couldn't believe I had been so blind. (Pause) In following my brother in law's example, and in honor or you, I have welcomed him into our family and I have learned a great deal in the process. ( She allows Uijo to step up to the camera and he begins to converse with Kitsune in animal)
Uijo: It is an honor to meet you, Kitsune. If you will permit, …may I call you cousin? (Kitsune nods) Ayame honors your family, …she took me in even though I was the runt of the litter and cast out of the den. She has taken great time and care to teach me your family's traditions and to give me the sense of family I never had. I owe her a great debt. (Kitsune bows slowly as a form of acceptance and then Ayame steps back in to say her goodbye's before Steve has to end the chat. After shutting down the equipment Tony approaches him.)
Tony: Great Party, Steve. You really know how to throw it down.
Steve: I'm just the entertainment, …the guests made the party.
Tony: So Skipper and Marlene know where I'm taking them tonight, right?
Steve: The feather Nest Inn, …I told them. They've been there before, ..they really like it. (Tony nods) So where did you get the Limo?
Tony: My brother, …he owns his own service and let me borrow one of his rides for the evening.
Steve: Your family has been pretty close these past months, …forgive me but I thought they had disowned you when you defied your parents and went into the service instead of "the family business."
Tony: My parents did that, …my father is resting in peace now and my mother…(sighs) She's in a rest home suffering the final stages of Alzheimer's. God bless her, …I would never wish that on anyone. (Pause) With that in mind my siblings have been looking to reconcile, …they actually understood what I did. So I've had an easy time calling in favors if you know what I mean, …those guys that jumped Kitsune a while back, they had a hand in cleaning that up.
Kitsune; (writes) What happened to those men?
Tony: Like I told Steve, …you don't want to know. I will say that it's a handy thing to have a brother who owns his own construction company, …working in concrete has so many applications. (Pats Kitsune on the shoulder) You remember what I told you before, …if you see those other two guys you call me. (Winks at Kitsune and then heads off to provide the newlyweds their chariot ride.)
Steve: I love having a friend like that. (Kitsune looks at him with interest at discovering something else they had in common.) Come on, …you can come with me to take the animals back to the zoo. I've arranged for Tom to "recover" them all just outside the zoo. (Kitsune nods) So, …how do you feel about lounging on a beach in the Florida Keys for a week? (The scene fades out as Steve continues to pack up his equipment and in the background the pups continue to play around with Astrid while running all over.)
Chapter 22 coming soon….
Comments and suggestions are always welcome.