She slipped out the door and Brynn took a moment to calm herself before gathering her cloak, boots and gloves and venturing out into the cold. She avoided the heaviest concentration of crowds as she slipped out of the gates and down past the training grounds toward the frozen lake. She saw the twisting horns of the halla as they grazed on the lowest branches of some trees, stripping the young bark from the limbs as they foraged and shook the gathering snow off their thick pelts. The youngest swiveled her head toward her and lowed a greeting, causing the others to turn their ears and sound their own greetings. She wandered over and scratched at the youngling's ears, whispering to her thanks and a goodbye before returning to the beaten path that led to the water.
Standing on the edge of the pebbled shore that passed for a beach, she spied familiar weapons stacked neatly against some driftwood and, closer to the water, a distinctly compact form that was moving sinuously through some forms. She could hear Cassandra panting from exertion from her vantage point and her keen eyes could just make out the sheen of sweat that had collected on her brow despite the frigid temperatures. She wandered onto the rocky shore, hands deep in her pockets and hood up to ward off the worst of the chill as she approached silently. Cassandra spun on her heel and froze mid form, wide eyes locked on her face as she stopped several feet away and shook her hair out of her face.
"Hey. Can we talk?"
Cassandra warily stepped up the shore line, closer to Brynn although only marginally. She picked up a ragged towel and wiped the sweat from her brow, all the while steadfastly avoiding Brynn's gaze as she looked resolutely out over the frozen water.
Brynn slowly stepped up beside her, studying the way her muscles tensed and coiled the closer she got. She stopped beside her, staring out over the same icy expanse, and sighed. "I've given you time, and distance, now I want you to talk to me." She felt more than saw Cassandra freeze, the utter stillness from the Seeker setting Brynn ill at ease, but she didn't turn her head. "It's been over three weeks since we killed the dragon, and you've yet to say more than a handful of words to me," she continued evenly. "I…I know that…you weren't ready, maybe you never will be, but – I couldn't, wouldn't, keep my emotions inside of me any longer. Maybe it wasn't fair to you, but I felt like you deserved to know the depth of my feelings for you, even if yours weren't as involved." Brynn tilted her head to the side, just barely able to see Cassandra's profile out of the corner of her eye.
"I just…Cassandra," she turned fully to look at her, eyes roving across her features that were as smooth and unreadable as the lake before them, "I only want to know if we can even continue to be as we were. If my affections cannot be returned by you, then please, sa'lath, I beg you to tell me, that I may guard myself from further heartache." Brynn chanced pressing her fingertips into Cassandra's wrist, feeling the strong pulse beneath the skin, and retreated a moment later when the Seeker's attention didn't divert from the far horizon. Her amber gaze was wide but, to Brynn's consternation, she couldn't read the emotions within.
"Mala inan emma banal'ras, sa'lath. Dirthamen las dirth in'mala. Ir abelas." Brynn ghosted the back of her hand over Cassandra's cheek and turned away, walking back up the shoreline toward the stand of trees she had come from.
Once out of sight, she let the tears that had been threatening wash down her cheeks and leaned back against a wide pine tree, sinking into the snow as the realization that Cassandra may very well not feel the depth of emotion that she did sank in. Hand pressed tightly over her mouth, she shut her eyes and let the tears fall, muffling her quiet sobs amongst the falling snow and trees. A near silent step made her head snap up, bloodshot eyes finding gentle brown eyes staring at her from several yards away.
"Ir emma abelas, ma falon. Ma vhenan tel'atisha."
The young halla stepped gracefully over to her and laid down beside her, pressing her head into her lap and lowing quietly. Their breath curled through the air as Brynn fought to regain her hold on her emotions and the youngling pressed closer, barely twisting horns digging into Brynn's shoulder as she moved her head gently to nuzzle at her lap. Brynn's stifled sobs tapered off into sniffles and hiccups as she idly scratched at the halla's forelock, smiling wetly when she grunted happily and pushed closer. "I wish…" She scoffed bitterly. "I wish I had never been tasked by the Keeper to find out the affairs of humans. I would still be hunting, unaware of this Inquisition, I would not be marked by this rift under my skin, I would not be so at odds with myself," she said forcefully.
Her frown softened and tears pricked at her eyes again. "But I wouldn't know Cassandra, either. Ma sa'lath, ma lath…no, I can't call her that. Not until she talks to me." The halla grunted when Brynn stopped scratching her forelock and butted her gently. She laughed quietly as her eyes slanted over at the white head in her lap. "You are intent on getting attention, aren't you, da'len? But you listen well, so I don't mind."
As she sat in the snow, gradually losing feeling in her butt and legs but feeling disproportionately warm with the great animal laying at her side, she slowly felt the distress leave her. Eventually, she pushed the halla's head away and stood, dusting herself off and fending off needy nibbles from the youngling as she tried to pull Brynn's hand back to her. "You are insistent, da'asha."
As she wandered toward the walls of Haven, the halla followed closely behind, bumping into her when she stopped abruptly. "You know, if you're going to be staying here, being underfoot and a nuisance, you need a name." The halla, snorting indignantly when called a nuisance, pricked her ears up at the last and grunted, lipping at Brynn's cheek with her velvety mouth affectionately. Brynn laughed quietly and pushed her off, tilting her head to the side thoughtfully. "So, what to call you? I simply can't keep calling you da'len, or pest, can I?"
The halla shook her head and they stood on the path, staring at each other's eyes silently for long minutes. "Arwen." Ears pricked as the halla snorted and pawed at the packed snow, bobbing her head. Brynn smiled and scratched her chin, giggling when the massive head nearly bowled her over as she pushed against her. "I think so, too. It means 'noble' in my people's language. If you're going to stay here and help me, then I think you deserve to be recognized as such, so let's see if we can get the blacksmith to forge something for you."
Arwen followed Brynn closely to the forge just outside Haven, stopping in the doorway as she got the blacksmith's attention and sketched what she wanted made. She smiled when, after some chin scratching and questions about working the metals a particular way, the man agreed and they shook hands. Brynn led Arwen into the stables and fed her, then left the halla to her own devices as she walked back into the village proper and ducked into Leliana's tent by the Chantry.
"Nightingale," she greeted, noticing an agent standing at the table as Leliana pointed out an area for them to explore. The spy departed with a brisk nod and Leliana turned her eyes on the woman, features softening slightly as they locked gazes.
"Brynn, you're up and about. I'm glad. How do you feel?"
"Still stiff, but better than I have."
"Good. What brings you here?"
"I was actually wondering where the dragon bits from the battle went to."
Leliana hummed thoughtfully. "I believe most of it went to the forge to be used in arms and armor, although some of the smaller fragments went to the mages to enchant. Why?"
"I thought, since most of my leathers were damaged in the fight against the dragon, I would requisition some light armor to replace it."
Leliana's eyes lit up and she smiled. "That's a wonderful idea. If you want, I can go with you."
"If you're not busy?"
"I just sent my scouts west to investigate a lead, there's nothing else pressing immediately. Come, let's go to the armorer."
They spent the remainder of the evening picking out the lighter skins to use for Brynn's armor and were given instructions to come back on the morrow to begin fitting the pieces in place to be stitched together. With the sun fully set behind the mountains, the cold set in with a vengeance and Leliana escorted Brynn back to her cabin after they supped. She massaged the salve into her scars and left Brynn to her own devices, few although those were.
Still recovering from the healing magic administered recently, she only had enough energy to disrobe and climb beneath the heavy furs, mind falling back on the rather one-sided conversation she'd had with Cassandra earlier. She sighed forlornly and turned onto her side, arm flung across the empty expanse of her bed as she fell into a fitful sleep.
Within the War Room, tempers flared and glares were tossed about like the snow blown around by the storm raging outside the stone walls. Leliana jabbed her fingers emphatically at the map on the table, jaw set mulishly. "We need this information!"
"At the cost of your scouts? It's a whiteout, Leliana, see reason!" Josephine shot back, hair unusually disheveled from running her fingers through it constantly. "We only made it here because of the guides lines strung between cabins, how do you think your people would fare out there?"
"They know the risks-"
"There is no reason," Cassandra interrupted. She stared down Leliana until the spymaster reluctantly broke her gaze and then went around the table, lingering on Brynn's downward turned head briefly. "We need to keep as many of our people safe as possible until this storm has blown over. We have sufficient supplies until the next caravan breaks through the snow, you know this, Leliana. Do not risk their lives for your need for knowledge."
Leliana sighed and nodded, leaning back against the wall. "Fine. But we need to get them out as soon as the storm has passed. Too much time has passed already, and these reports we've been receiving about a so called 'Elder One' worry me."
"They worry us all, but there is nothing to do now, and no one can get to us either. We are safe for the time being. Now, onto the matter of the dragon hide and bone; how goes the crafting for that?"
"Enough arms and armor have been made to supplement the elite of our soldiers," Cullen said. "They train daily with them and have expressed their preference for the durability of their weapons and armor, although some have complained about the weight."
"They need only train further to adjust to the weight," Cassandra said. "If there is nothing else, I believe we can adjourn our meeting?" Heads nodded around the table and everyone shuffled out of the room into the relative warmth of the Chantry proper.
Josephine and Leliana disappeared into the ambassador's offices while Cullen drew his cloak closer and ventured into the storm, while Cassandra shuffled papers and Brynn waffled at the door indecisively. She narrowed her eyes against the wind when she cracked it open and sent her scarf fluttering wildly, a crimson smear against the grey of the stone and the stark whiteness of the snow. She spared a glance at Cassandra before slipping out the door and leaving her alone in the smoky interior.
Cassandra sighed, jumping when a hand landed on her shoulder. Leliana stood behind her with an unreadable expression on her face and tugged her behind a thick column. "What are you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play coy, Cassandra, you don't have the temperament for it," Leliana scoffed. She jabbed a finger into her breastplate harshly. "You've been ignoring Brynn ever since she ventured from her cabin. You haven't even been coming around at meals anymore. Yet, you continue to watch her now, and she avoids your gaze. What did you do?"
"What do you mean 'what did you do?' I did not do anything! Brynn – she just…" Cassandra growled impotently and tried to walk away but Leliana caught the edge of her breastplate and yanked her back behind the column.
"Do not walk away from this," she hissed.
"What would you have me do?! She came to me, told me that she – that she…"
"She loves you," Leliana said quietly.
"Not in so many words."
"She doesn't have to. She is like you, dear, stubborn Cassandra. She speaks more through her actions than words. Although, she isn't nearly as reticent with her words as you." Cassandra turned her head away, facial features hidden in shadow. "What did she tell you," Leliana urged gently.
"She said…she said she would do anything for me, in the Exalted Plains. And, a couple days ago, down by the lake, she asked me to spare her from further heartbreak if – I did not return her affections." Cassandra moved her head to glance askance at Leliana. "What do I do?"
"Make a decision."
"How can I, when I do not know the depth of my own feelings? After Anthony, after Regalyan…" Cassandra turned her head just enough that Leliana could see the telltale brightness in her eye and she cupped her cheek affectionately.
"You can't let past losses dictate your life. The dead are gone, Cassandra; they wouldn't want you to mourn and shut yourself away always. You know this." Cassandra shut her eyes and sighed, leaning back against the column behind her heavily as Leliana pressed her point. "No matter how grim and stern you make yourself, you can't keep your heart from feeling. I know you, Cassandra, and I know how deeply you feel, regardless of how much you bury those emotions even from yourself. Go find her after the storm clears, talk to her. Think about how you really feel until then." Leliana gently pushed Cassandra out of the shadows and toward the door, yanking her cowl up as she walked. She smiled faintly as she pushed Cassandra through the door and shut it behind her, leaving the Seeker blinking in the heavily falling snow and blowing wind.
Brynn looked out the window of the War Room at the snow blanketing the ground in deep drifts that piled against the sides of buildings from the wind. The storm had finally died out and Leliana promptly called a meeting with the advisors and herself to discuss sending out scouts once again. Once dispatched, they discussed the caravan that was due to arrive any day with food and tradeable goods and the likelihood of delay from snow blocking the pass.
In the midst of wondering if they should send out a company to clear the snow, the bells ringing Haven began to ring loudly and everyone froze. "Those are the alarm bells," Cassandra said dumbly.
Cullen scrambled for the door and ran out into the snow where soldiers were gathering in confusion near the outer wall of the village, hand on the pommel of his sword as he pushed toward the commanding officer. "What's going on?"
"Dunno, the alarm sounded and we're waiting for a scout to come with information." The man shrugged and barked at the milling soldiers until they stood in loose formation.
Cassandra and Leliana came up behind Cullen, wearing matching expressions of worry as they looked out over the walls at the treetops. Josephine and Brynn brought up the rear, standing to the side as tensions rose and the bells continued to ring. After nearly fifteen minutes without any news, Brynn scoffed and handed Josephine her cloak and tightened her leathers, making sure her weapons and belt were secure at her waist as she walked toward the gate.
"What are you doing?" Cassandra grasped her wrist and Brynn looked over her shoulder at her.
"I'm going to see what's wrong."
"You cannot, you are too-"
"I'm faster than your scouts and lighter so I won't fall through the snow as much; I'll be gone maybe half a candlemark." Brynn held her eyes for a long moment before she gently pulled away and sped toward the gate on light feet, leaving barely-there impressions in the snow as she passed the gate and disappeared from sight.
Anxiety gripped all of the advisors as a candlemark passed and Brynn didn't reappear. They did, however, receive reports about smoke rising in the distance from the guards atop the walls. Leliana paced and muttered to herself when none of her dispatched scouts returned and Cassandra snapped at any lingering soldiers irritably. She yanked Brynn's cloak over her shoulders and stalked toward the gate when Josephine caught her arm.
"What are you doing?"
"I am going to look for her; for all we know, she could have been captured by whatever waylaid Leliana's scouts, and I aim to discover what it is. Now, release me."
"No. We should stay together, it's safer," Josephine argued.
Cassandra bared her teeth in fury and snarled, "Whatever is out there should fear me." She yanked her hand away and took only a few steps before there was a flurry of noise at the gates.
The guards scrambled to open the barred door and Brynn staggered through, doubling over as she gasped for air. Her skin was red with exertion and cheeks chapped from wind burn, hair more disheveled than usual from running as she trembled bodily. The advisors descended on her, questions overlapping demands overlapping statements until she held up a trembling hand in a request for silence. Abruptly, they shut their mouths and silence descended upon the small group, broken only by the clanging of the bells overhead and the murmur of voices as people milled about uncertainly. Brynn tipped her head back as she straightened and took several deep, cleansing breaths, then she faced them.
"Tell the soldiers to ready themselves. There's an army coming to Haven."
Translations:
Mala inan emma banal'ras, sa'lath. Dirthamen las dirth in'mala. Ir abelas. - Your eyes are full of shadows, beloved. *May Dirthamen show you the truth within yourself.* I'm sorry.
*Literally, Dirthamen grant knowledge inside you.* More of a prayer than an actual statement, like 'God bless' or 'In the name of the Father, et al...' etc.
Ir emma abelas, ma falon. Ma vhenan tel'atisha. - I'm so sad, my friend. My heart is at war [with itself]. Literally, 'I am full of sorrow, my friend. My heart is not peaceful.'
Ma sa'lath, ma lath... - My beloved, my love...
Da'len - little one
Da'asha - little girl