My jaw dropped in disbelief, and I felt like the world had shattered and then realigned itself all wrong. Angela couldn't know about this stuff!
"At least… that's what Ben says," she said, rolling her eyes. "They're doing this big epic campaign right now, and he's the DM. He keeps complaining about having to give the werewolves easy ways to level-up so they don't get killed right off." she laughed lightly, before turning an accusing finger on me. I was at a complete loss for words. What the heck was she saying? "Bella! I can't believe you didn't tell me Jake plays Dee en Dee!"
I felt like there should be a great big Question Mark floating above my head. Jake, though, seemed to grasp what was going on, and he saved me.
"This Ben guy's a complete idiot. It's all in how you set up the character sheet, of course!"
She giggled and shrugged, picking up Jake's empty glass of soda. "Well, I don't know all that much about it, it's just residual information from spending all that time with Ben."
"You people are all just prejudiced against werewolves because you've been tainted by media. Wolves kick assss," Jake said confidently. "This one," said Jake, pointing at me in mock-disgust, "She sees like one vampire movie, decides she knows everything about them, and decides we're… errr, my character, is totally lame."
"Oh no, Bella!" proclaimed Angela. I had been watching their conversation in absolute shock, unable to blink. What… what was happening? "You poor poor thing," she added, patting my shoulder sadly. "You've gone and started dating a geek!"
I smiled up at her weakly. All that I had been able to register was that, no… in fact, Angela did not know that vampires and werewolves were real, and that Jacob was some sort of dodging-spy-master for having diffused the situation so quickly. Great, another super-human ability.
"Don't worry, I'm starting a support group!"
"I'll join…" I murmured, still completely befuddled. Jake chuckled enthusiastically and cracked some sort of baffling joke about charisma scores that made Angela stare at him in wonderment for a second or two.
"Oh my gosh! We have to double-date some time. Ben's always complaining that no one's got a healthy respect for fantasy creatures in this town, and I can't really argue with him, because I don't know what I'm talking about!"
"Yeah, we definitely should. I'd like to set your Ben straight about a few little minor details." The idea appealed to me somewhat, as well. I didn't know Ben at all, but if Ange liked him, he was probably a great person.
Just as we started in on plans to watch a movie together, Underworld, someone called Angela to attention, and she guiltily returned to work.
Jake took a big bite of his practically raw dinner, and smiled at me. "I like her, you've got good taste!"
"Well, that's nice… but Jacob, what was all that?"
"That was me being right, again. I told you this was not the place to discuss." He frowned at me.
"Yeah… I know. Right again, like always." I sighed. "But more importantly… what the heck were you guys talking about?"
"D and D, duh."
"What is that?"
"DUNGEONNNSS aand DRRAAAAGONs, Satan's Game!" Jake replied enthusiastically, spreading his huge wingspan out and using a deep overly-theatrical voice.
Everyone in the entire restaurant was staring at us, I could feel it. Oh GOD! I don't know him. I did not come here with this boy. Please… can I be invisible now?
"Oh come on… you know!" My blank stare was answer enough. "Uggh! Okay… so it's this game that you play in a group and…" that was the only part of his 15-minute speech that I understood at all. When he finally quieted down, I was flabbergasted.
"Jacob… you don't play that game." He couldn't… because he had a life.
"Nope," he said, grinning. "Not anymore, anyway."
"Jacob… why would you ever play that game?"
"Middle school was boring, and Embry got the manual for Christmas." He was totally unembarrassed by divulging this… this… nerdlike behavior. Jacob the geek? "Then we discovered cars."
"Oh." So, that dark time was long passed. Pheew.
"Worked out pretty well… Thank God Embry had to use that excuse on his mom the other day, or I'd never have thought of it." Uh… yeah.
Jake got irritated at me then, for not using the buffet correctly, or something, and dragged me up to get more food. This had to be his fourth plate or something. Where was it all going?
We were quiet for another long while. Jake seemed perfectly content to just eat, and look at me, but it made me feel a little uncomfortable, and I was so curious. Because, now that I thought about it objectively, he was right… Sam had let him off easy.
"Why did you get out of the injunction a day early?" I asked, unable to handle the silence any longer.
"Ugh! Bells…" He stared at me pleadingly. "Can we please, please talk about something else? I don't have any good cover-ups left."
"But," I said, annoyed.
"Stop! Can this please be just about you, and me? None of that other crap? Just for now?"
"Fine," I said, coming to my senses. Ahh, I sighed contentedly. Me, and Jake… JakeandBells. The two of us… so much to talk about! But… restaurant appropriate conversation? Surely, there must be something! I racked my brain for several minutes.
Nothing. What the heck were we supposed to talk about? I stared at him probingly while I sipped my water, hoping he'd think of something, since I had failed. All that happened was he started tugging on his collar again, and the third button suddenly popped off, landing with a spectacular splash in his soda.
I tried to laugh, but the liquid I had been in the process of swallowing shot out of my nose. Thankfully, it all landed in my plate. That, however, was the only thing I had to be thankful for.
"Oh nooooo!" I moaned in horror, grabbing a napkin and hiding my face. The insides of my nose burned, but not as badly as my cheeks.
"This is … the best night ever! I got snarf points off you, Bells!" Jake was laughing loudly, brilliantly, and I could sense, feel the people around us, staring AGAIN.
I dropped my head to the table, afraid to look. There were sniggers coming from all around, building up into wild laughs, and it was me they were mocking. Lately, I just couldn't seem to cut a break! Couldn't I have just one evening free of Stupid-Bella moments?
Finally, when the laughter had stopped, I whimpered, "Oh please, Jake…can we leave? Please?"
"Now? Before dessert?" he asked, clearly disturbed, smile disappearing.
"Find me a shovel and let me bury myself, pleeease," I begged.
"Well, I guess you've had enough embarrassment for one night… and if we wait much longer, they'll be coming out to sing 'Happy Birthday.'"
It only took one death-glare to make him realize just how not funny that was.
"Okay, okay," he said, acquiescing. "I'll be right back…"
As soon as he left, Angela's concerned voice interrupted my fervent self-loathing.
"Bella, are you alright?"
"Yes," I whispered. "I'm fine…" I looked up at her and tried to convey the awfulness that had just happened. She smiled apologetically, and moved onto another topic.
"I like your Jacob, he seems really funny!" Funny. Yes, he was that. Ha bloody Ha Ha.
"Thanks Ange, I like him too… usually." I knew saying that would lead to her asking me deep questions, but I didn't mind bringing it up around her. She wouldn't ask me anything about bases, at the very least.
"Oh, I forgot… I wanted to apologize about not warning you about Jess…"
"Huh?" I asked weakly. Wow, she didn't take the bait. She had to be a saint, or something.
"She, uh… got to me too, right before my first date with Ben. All the makeup, and stuff…"
"Oh gosh, I forgot!" Stupid Jess and her stupid makeup, and the glitter, and the skirt.
"I mean, you do look really pretty, it's just Jess, she goes overboard, you know… this is like her area of expertise, and she loves to pamper people."
"Yeah…" I said, not trusting myself to say anything else, or I might start swearing.
"I mean, her mom's not really that--Oh! Jake's coming back… I'll leave you two be. Just… a little warning, okay? Don't go to bed without washing that stuff off, or you'll ruin your pillow!"
"Thanks Angela… you're a great friend." Had I ever told someone that before?
Jake sat down with the bill, and smiled over at me. It made my insides feel all melty. Why was he still being so sweet? All I'd done alll evening was screw stuff up, forcing him to talk about stuff he didn't want to, getting irritated all the time. Now I was making him leave early, for no good reason. But… I had to get out. I was the girl with the gorgeous boyfriend who just spouted water out her nose, and I needed to escape.
Of course, he insisted upon paying the bill, but I argued heatedly with him for such a long time that he got up midsentence and snagged another plateful of food. I used the time to come up with an effective argument.
"You don't even have a job!" I pointed out finally.
"Neither do you!" he shot back.
I stared at him in shock, and then realization hit. "Darn that Charlie! Is nothing sacred?" I was never going to tell him anything ever again.
"Nope," said Jake with a smile, as he pulled out his wallet and fumbled around.
"At least let me leave the tip, okay? Please?" He conceded quickly, and I felt much better about the whole thing as I left a nice big one for my lovely friend.
Jake held the door for me on the way out, and I looked at him strangely before following him. There was just something… niggling at me. Something felt odd, still. Before I got all the way outside, he stopped me.
"Wait inside, okay? I'll go get the Rabbit," and he ran off. It was sprinkling outside. Gosh, it wasn't like I'd never been out of doors in Forks before or anything… I wasn't the Wicked Witch of the West… but, it was sweet, so thoughtful.
He stopped the car in front of the exit, and before I could reach the door handle, he had it opened, and he helped me inside, kissing my hand and smiling at me sweetly.
Then, as he gently closed the door, it hit me. Hit me hard. The problem. With the stupid shirt, with the restaurant… with the evening! This whole night, he'd been acting like he thought I thought he should act. Not like himself at all… he was trying to act like what I was supposedly accustomed to. Acting like Edward, and failing. Jacob was not Edward, and I didn't want him to be. They were such opposites. He wasn't a perfect gentleman, for starters. Far from it! Actually, he was kind of rude! He wasn't overly protective of me… he figured I could take care of myself just fine. While I rarely won arguments with him, it wasn't like I lost them… he'd just laugh at me until I gave up. And he laughed… ALL the time.
It was as if someone had sat down, made a list of Edward's characteristics, and then flipped them entirely around to create Jake. He was reckless, he was burning hot. His skin and eyes were dark, but full of life and mirth. He hated formalities, loved to tease… He was late to stuff, and not exactly the most responsible person ever. In fact, I would bet practically anything, that he hated 80s music. And… the idea of Jacob brooding? That was probably the least likely characteristic anyone would ever label him as having.
"So, where to, my lady?" he asked with a wry smile as he turned out of the parking lot. "I guess I should probably take you home, huh?"
I looked at my watch. 8:30. No way was I going home yet.
"Nuh uh. You can't escape from me that easily."
"Darn," said Jake sarcastically. "Okay… so now what?"
Where to go with Jacob… The thing was, I really didn't care where. I was perfectly happy just sitting in the car with him, although it'd be nice if he wasn't actually driving.
"Can we go to First Beach?" I asked impulsively. I hadn't been to our favorite haunt all week, and I kind of missed it.
"Uh… sure, I guess. But… you do know it's not exactly the nicest night out, right?" I knew what he was thinking… Crazy Bella.
"Yeah, I know. It's Forks, I think I'll be able to survive."
We drove in silence for awhile, and I decided I had to tell him. But, I'd have to be delicate about it, or I would hurt his feelings.
"Jake… don't take this the wrong way, okay?"
"Ookay…" he said slowly.
"Dinner was… nice."
"Right. Um, how do I take that the wrong way, exactly?"
"Could we… maybe, um, never go on another date again?"
"Oh."
Yup, he'd taken it the wrong way.
"I don't mean I don't want to be with you, because I do. But… that's not us. That's not you. Sitting around at the table, wearing dress clothes? There's no way that shirt actually belongs to you."
He snorted. "It does now! I forgot to grab the stupid button, can't return it anymore. What a complete waste!"
"Don't get me wrong, it looks really great on you, and I appreciate all the effort, but… Jacob Black is not a dressy kind of guy. It just doesn't suit you."
"Yeah, you're right… I don't really think sparkles suit you, either." I blushed in embarrassment, and muttered Stupid Jessica! under my breath.
He took my hand and squeezed it. "So. No more dates?"
"Nope," I replied, glad he seemed to understand so well.
"Thank God! I felt so completely stupid in this get-up."
"Oh gosh, me too! This evil outfit, and the makeup? Ugh!"
"Yeah… that stuff smells pretty disgusting, Bells. But… Jess did this to you, right?"
"Yes," I growled in irritation.
"Remind me to thank her, okay?"
"Why?" Oh no, I was going to have to go out and buy makeup now, and wear makeup. Because Jake liked it.
"Because… otherwise you never would have worn that shirt. It's nice to be able to see your waist for once, instead of having to go searching for it."
I blushed furiously, but felt a little less angry with her. "I don't mind when you go searching, though."
He chortled loudly. "Yeah, I don't mind, either… but it saves me a bit of work, you know?"
The drive to the beach was filled with flirtatious fun, and it all flowed so easily. I didn't have to grasp around for things to say, and he didn't wait for me to speak. We just talked, about whatever. Nothing really important. It was just me, and Jake, the way it should be.
When we got to the beach, we kicked off our shoes and socks and chased each other around for awhile, just like little kids. Except, of course, that my main goal was to get him to kiss me. Finally, after the 4th failed attempt, he grabbed hold of my shoulders and reprimanded me soundly.
"What do you think Billy would say if I came home covered in all that crap?"
"But…" I pouted.
He pulled his shirt off then, and I immediately pressed my cold fingers into the flesh he uncovered. Lovingly, and gently as if he was my mother, he wiped away the rest of the lipstick.
"Please," he whispered, slowly lifting me to my tip-toes. "Never wear that stuff again!" I was more than happy to agree.
Sometime later, our passionate kissing halted, and we walked aimlessly around, squidging our toes in the sand, and holding hands. Neither of us spoke for awhile, but this silence was different. Nice, and comforting, even. I never wanted the moment to end, but my stupid inquisitive brain kicked in. Trying to clear it of the question, I initiated another long bout of kisses, but when we broke apart, I still wanted to know. After all, he had promised to tell me.
"How did you get out of the injunction a day early?"
I could barely see his face in the darkness, but I was sure he winced. "I… I don't really know, exactly. I just got so worried about you…"
"Why?" I asked, surprised.
"I wasn't trying to spy on you or anything, honest! But… you had those nightmares, and you always seem to sleep better when…" he broke off, and I was a little bit disturbed. The idea of him sitting in the woods, guarding me, listening to my tortured screams in the wee hours of the morning… the dreams he probably reeally wanted to know about, but that I would never, ever explain. Those were mine. "I thought if I could just see you, that things would be better, but Sam made it so I couldn't even do that… so I had Jared go explain things… and then he was an ass. Still, I thought you'd be alright that night, but when you weren't… well, I sort of freaked."
That was a bad night for both of us, I guess.
"So… Wednesday, I went over to Sam's and told him off for punishing you, when it hadn't been your fault. It was… really weird, honestly. I was just venting at him, shouting all this random stuff. And then, I threatened to go to you no matter what, and all of a sudden, he just… agreed."
I was touched that he had done all that for me, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his bare torso, snuggling against him, and sighing.
"Maybe he just felt bad," I suggested.
"I dunno… maybe. I guess we're having a talk in a few days… all I can say is it better not be like the one Charlie gave me. I'd have to kick his ass."
"…Charlie? What did he say?" Oh dear, he didn't… The you're-an-idiot-but-I-love-you face Jake gave me was really irritating.
"He's your dad… what do you think he said?" His voice lowered and became more gruff. "You know I like you, son, but if you hurt my little girl, I've got a shotgun and a saw, and well…"
" I can't believe he did that! What a jerk!"
"Oh come on, it was the least he could do… and daaamn, you didn't tell me he had such a temper!"
"A temper? What are you talking about?"
"I, uh, well, I guess in retrospect that wasn't the best time to crack a joke, but wow, he's graphic. He went into all these details about where he was going to put my body parts so no one'd ever be able to put me back together, and that, Thank God, is when you came back downstairs."
"Wow…" I said. I'd never taken Charlie to be so… dad-like.
"Speaking of which," he said, grabbing my wrist and examining the watch critically. "I'd better take you home now."
We walked back slowly, genuinely bummed out. Neither of us bothered to put our shoes back on, and Jake, thank goodness, didn't open the door for me. Everything felt so much better, and I told him so the whole ride back, with every squeeze of his hand, and adoring gaze I could muster. I think he understood.
Soon, too soon, we were parked in front of my house, and I wasn't ready to leave, because I had something else to say. I searched my thoughts, wanting to make sure I'd really mean it when it came out. Yes, I would mean it. When I turned to look at him full on, the declaration I was about to utter died away, because Jake was holding something.
It was a square, skinny package, inexpertly wrapped in inside-out Christmas paper and duct tape.
"I thought… you said…"
"Okay, so I did go all out," he said, with a big grin. "But don't you go and say you don't like gifts or anything, none of that complaining!"
"Yes sir," I muttered in mild irritation.
As I my fingers tried to find a place to tear, he explained, "It's nothing big… I just thought you might need it, you know?"
It was an 18-month calendar, and the cover had the face of a wolf staring intently ahead. Its dark eyes made my heart ache, because it spoke a million different words all at once, and I understood them all.
"It's perfect," I murmured, and I really meant it. This… this was a gift I could appreciate. Spontaneous, thoughtful, cheap, and loving. It was something I had a half-chance of being able to duplicate.
"I'm glad you like it," he said, laughing softly. "The guys all posed so nice for me."
I giggled at the thought, and I prepped myself to say it, again. "Jake, I—"
"I'll walk you to your door," he said quickly, and I grudgingly got out with many irritated thoughts about rude boys, and I wondered about the stupid plan. My feet touched the wet pavement and I let out a little gasp, which made Jake laugh softly. He was right beside me, and, taking my hand again, he led me slowly to the house.
Suddenly, at the bottom of the steps leading to the porch, I stopped. Jake didn't notice at first, and he dragged me a few inches through the mud before he turned to look at me.
"It's raining," I said seriously.
"Gee, is that why I smell wet dog?" he snorted at me, and tried to pull me again up the stairs, clearly not understanding the significance.
Silly little Jacob; didn't he know where we were? This was an important place, and the rain… I squeezed his fingers tightly.
"Kiss me," I said. Things were coming together slowly. Jake's occasional odd behavior, not letting me finish certain sentences…
"I'm, uh, pretty sure Charlie's watching," he feebly protested, already lowering himself slowly towards my upturned face. Droplets dribbled off his hair and splashed across my cheeks, but I didn't blink as I looked deep into his eyes.
"I don't care." This pleased him greatly.
Just before our mouths joined, I spoke again. "Jake, I lo-"
The kiss that cut off my words confirmed my suspicions, and I would have smiled in triumph if my lips and tongue hadn't been in the middle of a playful little battle. I had figured out the plan, finally! He was trying desperately to make me love him. I would play along, for as long as he needed. His goal had already been reached, but if he thought I had to go through some sort of stupid steps to make it official, well…, so be it.
My calendar was thoroughly soaked by the time I came inside, and I ignored Charlie's question about my muddy feet, and how my date had gone. The joy radiating from my soul had to tell him everything he really wanted to know.
"Good night," I said as I walked up the stairs shakily, holding onto the railings for dear life. My body was going to burst. I was going to disintegrate into a billion tiny pieces and be absorbed into the atmosphere, and everyone in the whole world would feel bliss as they breathed me in.
When that didn't actually happen, I hung the calendar on the wall directly across from my bed, so that it would be the first thing I saw in the morning, and then I showered. It took a very long time to get all the garbage out of my hair and off my face, and I was completely exhausted by the time I crawled into bed.
It was very dark in my bedroom, so much so that I couldn't even make out the crinkled wolf that was looking at me so intensely, but I could feel it.
Wondering if my wolf was already outside, guarding me, I whispered softly, "Jacob Black, I love you."
Sleep came quickly, and the dreams were sweet and beautiful, completely untainted by any of the tribulations that were certain to follow in the days ahead.