Summer Mix

Chapter 21

Mixed Perspectives

Journal of Richard Castle

Sometimes I can't believe that I am not still back in that room and that this is not just some drug-induced hallucination. I am certainly seeing, hearing, and feeling exactly what I've wanted for so long. Tomorrow Kate and I are getting married. This is so unlike my other marriages. I don't know if I can even call them marriages. With Meredith, with Gina, we were together legally and physically, but there was never the mating of what for a lack of a better word I can only call souls. Kate and I not only share each others' thoughts and rhythms, it is as if we need each other to be whole. I read a story once that said that originally all humans had four arms and four legs. They were thrust apart into halves and we all search the earth for the other part of ourselves. That always seemed ridiculous to me until Kate. Now I not only understand it, I almost believe it. I can't imagine living without Kate. I would give up the homes, the cars, the toys, all the fruits of my success as long as I could be with her, and not just in bed. I want to eat with her, walk with her, talk with her, or even just sit quietly and read the paper. As much as I love Alexis, I would love to have more children with Kate. But even if that doesn't prove to be possible, I will be content to have her in my heart, in my arms, and in my life.

Kate teased me because I was so slow to finish writing my vows. Compared to writing those, a Derrick Storm or Nikki Heat novel is a walk in the park. If a word or thought in a novel is wrong, an editor can change it. I might complain, but in the scheme of things, it is less than trivial. My promises to Kate are the most important thing I can imagine. I have never given fully to anyone, except perhaps for Mother and Alexis, and those were relationships in which I found myself, rather than ones I might have chosen. I am choosing this and I choose to do it as perfectly as one incredibly flawed human can. So I will make the promises I desperately hope to keep, because they are the promises I desperately want to keep.

We have heard from Villante. The execution of the plan started at 3:00 A.M. this morning. All the documents were delivered as business and banking opened across timezones. So far things look good. He has promised to keep me updated. I'm sure there are a number of things he won't tell me, but I am grateful for anything he shares. Lanie did send him information about DNA she found on Larisa Azaraya. He has access to a number of data bases, foreign and domestic. After the operation against Rostoff is complete, he may be able to help identify the actual murderer. That would certainly calm Gates down.

Henry Jasper has been briefing me on the security plan for tomorrow. I fervently hope that we won't need it, but I am endlessly grateful for Henry's services. Alexis and Mother will have Barbara and Maya as their usual shadows. Kate wants to get ready, with some help from Lanie, at her own place. Henry will have a team there. George will be with me and drive me to the ceremony. Henry's people will do full surveillance of the venue in advance, so hopefully if there are any stragglers from Rostoff's operation they will spotted. I think Henry's bill will be a good part of the royalties from Raging Heat, but I don't care. This marriage will take place even if there is an alien invasion. The next time I write, Kate will be my wife.

The Journal of James Beckett

Dear Johanna,

Tomorrow is Katie's wedding day, again. I am hoping that this time the tears I see will be happy ones. I am told that everything is being done to ensure the safety and security of the ceremony. As usual, as of late, there were many things that Rick and Katie couldn't tell me, but they did say that there is a government operation to take the party who is responsible for Rick's abduction out of the picture and in fact out of business. I don't know what other crimes may be, or have been, involved, but I gather that the import is considerable.

Alexis has called at least three times to make sure that I'll make it to rehearsal and be appropriately dressed. No one except Castle will be wearing a tuxedo this time because of the decreased formality of the event. I think he is just wearing his to make up for missing out the first time, the same way Katie will be wearing your dress. I can understand that. Not that he and Katie will match the bride and groom on top of the cake. As I understand it the cake toppers will be wearing bullet proof vests that say police and writer, with a tiny pin prick of a bullet hole over the "I" in writer where Rick accidentally got shot by a fan he was clearing of murder. That case is particularly dear to their hearts because it got Katie rehired by the NYPD. Alexis didn't like it much. She wasn't a fan of her father getting shot, even wearing a vest. I can't say that I blame her. Alexis told me that she has had a very hard time keeping Martha from going completely over the top with the police theme at the reception. Martha wanted to transform the bookstore into the precinct. Alexis talked her down into having toy badges for napkin holders and the drink menu on a murder board. Of course there will be coffee and donuts along with all the other tidbits. When I skirt the bar I can pretend it's a meeting.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow with almost equal portions of joy and trepidation. I want this for Katie so much. I want her to be happy and Rick makes her happier than anyone else ever has. But I also want her to be safe, and despite whatever private army Rick has hired, the two of them always seem to attract trouble. Both Katie and Rick have managed to survive horrendous things. I pray the curse has finally been broken. Look down on them tomorrow.

Forever love,

JB

Diary of Alexis Castle

Tomorrow is the day. I've said that before, but this time I'd better be right. Dad has been through so much. We all have. I've double and triple checked everything and still I'm nervous. I know there are things that Dad and Kate are keeping from me. When I've asked Barbara, she says she doesn't really know any details either. I don't know if she'd tell me if she did. She will be at my side all day tomorrow, dressed in clothes she can move in and hiding a gun I don't know where. As informal as the ceremony will be this time around, I don't think she'll stand out too much. She does make a point of being as unobtrusive as possible.

Gram is a little upset that I've been holding her back. She is happiest when she lets her creativity run wild, but tomorrow belongs to Kate and Dad, not to her. I think deep inside she really knows that, but sometimes the diva personality just takes over despite her best efforts to contain it. That's why Dad gave the credit card to me. Despite Gram's choice in clothes, I doubt that she'll draw a single eye from Kate. I think the dry cleaner must be a true genius to have cleaned Kate's mother's dress. It is perfect and Kate looks stunning in it. She will also be wearing the earrings Gram gave her last time.

I wasn't sure what to wear myself. I am the best man, but I have every intention of dressing as a woman. I don't want my heels to be too high because I don't want to turn an ankle on the grass. I took a cue from Kate. We'll both be in ballerina flats, although hers will have a lot more sparkle than mine. Flats are actually quite a concession for her. They mean giving up a little of her air of power. They also make the difference in height between her and Dad more obvious. I think she's grown to love putting her head on his shoulder. I've always loved doing that myself. I'll be in a sheath over wide pants, feminine, but not screamingly so. I do have some great jewelry designed by one of my friends at school, to make the outfit more interesting. The groomsmen will be in sports jackets and ties. Ryan and Esposito will also be wearing their NYPD pins in keeping with the wedding theme. I've let the guests know that they can wear whatever makes them comfortable. I hope they do.

I know I won't sleep tonight. I want tomorrow to be a day to remember, and this time for all the right reasons.

Katie's Diary

Dad gave this to me. He found it in a box somewhere. I haven't written in it since I was a little girl. It held all my dreams and my hopes for the future. Somehow today it seems right to write in it again. I have never had more dreams, or brighter ones. I can see myself loving one man for the rest of my life. That idea used to scare me. Now it seems to be the one thing most worth doing. Castle and I have been through so much. I've lost count of how many times we've saved each others' lives, although I'm sure he hasn't. He remembers everything, the joys and the pain. He uses them to move forward. That is a wonderful gift. I used to let pain, or the fear of it, hold me back from what I truly wanted and needed. No longer. Whatever it takes, whatever it costs, I am going for the only important thing in this life - love. Tomorrow we will promise that love to each other in front of the people that matter, but what matters most is that we already have. Without the paperwork, without the ceremony, without the cake, the music, or the toasts, we belong to and with each other. I won't allow anything or anyone to change that. Maybe, technically, it wasn't one, but it will be done.

Katherine Houghton Beckett soon to be Castle