Hey Everyone!
Two updates in one week! You lucky lucky people.
Im so happy for all the reviews i got for the last chapter, you are all amazing. I'm well happy that everyone likes the way the charaters reacted in the last chapter. Basically i figuerd that Bella is heartbroken and disapointed in what Edward has done and just doesnt have the energy to scream or hit him.
Both Bella and Edwards POV in this chapter again, last one though. Next chapter will be back to Single charater POVS.
Also this chapter is sort of based round a song, i heard the lyrics and thought it fit amazingly well. 3am By Busted. If you havent listened to it i suggest you do becasue its an amazing song.
Anywhoo! Ill stop talking now.
Enjoy!
Edward's POV
I walked into the house in a daze; how the hell I got home I have no idea. I had spent the last two hours driving around the town for no reason whatsoever thinking over and over about how I could just let my girl walk away from me. She said she wanted space which I would understand if I didn't have that aching knot in my stomach telling me that this was the end for us. I walked into the house expecting everyone to see waiting arms folded and to be honest I was so over everything today. What I didn't expect was my dad coming down the stairs smiling at me
"Hi" I mumbled solemnly
"Got a minute Edward?" he said still smiling; I shrugged and followed him into the living room. He sat on the sofa and I sat on the closest chair to him, took him forever to actually strike up a conversation and I was wondering if Alice had told him everything and he was getting ready to ship me off to a boarding school.
"How's things going with Bella?" he asked casually, okay didn't expect that one
"Is that a joke" I said sharply as his smile faltered
"No not at all, why should it be?" he asked. So now I'm digging deeper holes for myself fantastic
"Just we had abit of an argument today and I thought Alice might have said something" I shrugged
"Oh well is it anything you want to talk to me about? I can be very perceptive when I need to be?" he smiled at me.
"Maybe some other time but thanks dad, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" I said trying to get things back on track
"Its nothing really I just wanted to see how things were, you've seemed....different the last few weeks. Happier I guess, you mother said you have a 'glow' about you" he said using air quotes.
I had to smile at my mom, she would do anything to make sure I was happy and the last few weeks well she must have been ecstatic. God I'm fucking up everything for everyone.
"Yeah things were, I mean are great thanks, I'm just happy Y'know school over prom coming up and all that" I added trying to force a smile.
"Well whatever this girl has done to you I'm glad of it" he smiled before standing up and putting his hand on my shoulder reassuringly before walking out the room.
I slouched back in the chair and closed my eyes letting out a huge sigh thankful for even a little bit of piece in my house but I suppose karma really is a bitch because just as I was becoming totally calm the living room door opened and then slammed shut just as quick
"Can we do this later Alice" I said without even opening my eyes
"No we cant, me and you are going to sit down and we are going to talk about everything do you understand me" she said and I felt the sofa shift. I exhaled deeply and opened my eyes looking at her, she smiled softly at me and gestured for me to move towards her.
"You okay?" she said quietly
"No I'm not, I really don't care anymore, and she can never see me again for all I care. Ill be out of here in a few months and I can chalk it all up to a bad experience. Bella can tell everybody I'm Satan incarnate and can bitch about me for the rest of her life if she wants. She walked away from me! Why should I expect her to forgive me? If I were her I sure as hell wouldn't forgive me" I shouted
"You don't mean that" Alice said softly
"No I don't but it makes me feel better" I said putting my head in my hands
"You okay?" she asked again
"Exhausted" I replied honestly. She pulled me towards her so I was lying down on the sofa with my head on her lap.
"Tell me everything Edward please. I hate you right now for what you did, but you're my brother and I will always love you no matter what. I just want to know" she said stroking my hair
"I feel like I'm in therapy" I laughed to her before taking a deep breath.
I told her everything, about the bet about talking to Bella for the first time trying to get her, everything that happened with jess and Tyler, how my feeling started to change and how I felt when I saw her at the party. How it felt hearing Mike say things about her, everything Bella told me about Tyler and what he did and finally how I told him that I didn't want in anymore and basically threw my money at him for Bella. She sat and listened to everything I said to her not saying a word, just reassuring me throughout and I was so totally grateful for her at that minute.
"Okay Edward you want to hear my honest opinion" she said after several minutes of silence
"Please" I replied shutting my eyes
"You love this girl, you really do. You messed up and that happens, not normally on this scale but still. You want her to forgive you because you need to feel better about yourself but I'm not sure you ego needs anymore " she said laughing. I mustered up the worst death glare I could and sent it her way.
"Look I'm not condoning what you did or even letting you off the hook, you brought all of us unwillingly into this and it not fair on us or Bella, but she loves you so much Edward, you just need to give her a little time. I'm proud of you for standing up to Tyler though and telling him to keep your dollar, shows how much you have changed."
"Yeah I have heard that a fucking lot the last few days." I huffed, getting kinda sick of it now
"Edward you never saw yourself how we did. You ditched us, made fun of us to gain brownie points with your basketball friends; you did everything you could to try and climb up the social ladder and didn't give a shit who you stepped on to get there. You bitched about your friends to us then went back to them which makes me wonder what you said about us to them and you thought you were better than everyone" I could sense her tensing up at every word. God I was such a prick.
"That's really how you all saw me?" I asked looking up at her as she nodded softly
"Why should I expect anything off her now, I hurt her in the worst possible way" I mumbled
"Yes you did, but sometimes there are stronger feelings there, those feelings might win overall" she smiled.
"I'm going to meet Jasper; he's taking me for pizza. You want to come?" she asked hopefully standing up
"Thanks but I'm good, might just go to bed" I mumbled "Oh there's something else I didn't tell you, but please don't get mad at either of us" I said wincing
"What you done now Edward?" she said putting her hands on her hips
"Jasper knew what was going on, he found out at the party. But said it wasn't his place to tell anyone" I said quietly. I expected her to scream at me or at least start bitching about Jasper but nothing, she just folded her arms and smiled at me again
"Its okay Edward, your best friends and he was right it wasn't his place to tell anyone. I just hope him knowing made you see some things more clearly"
"It did" I agreed
"Well good. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to find my boy oh before I go, you're still coming to prom aren't you?" she said.
"Um no" I said skeptically
"Yes you are, just because your not going with Bella probably it doesn't mean were not gonna have an ace night. Promise me please" she said looking at me sadly. I cant make her feel any worse
"Fine ill go" I mumbled
"Fantastic, see you later" she said skipping off
I sat up on the sofa looking around the room, not matter what I did or tried to do I wouldn't be able to focus; my mind was too busy wandering around remembering everything that me and Bella had done. I couldn't play piano I couldn't sit and watch a movie in here, hell I couldn't even go in the kitchen; everything brought her back into my mind. I got up pacing the room for a while before slowing making the move to my room; guess I'm a glutton for punishment.
I opened my bedroom door and my mind went back to the night of the party watching Bella lying on my bed, me telling her she was my first girlfriend. I smiled to myself remembering all of these things; I quickly put my iPod in its speaker system and put it on shuffle before falling back onto my bed, anything to get my mind off Bella but nothing worked. I must have been lying on my bed staring at the ceiling for hours, I heard Alice come back Rose leave and my parents go to bed but the time I actually checked my alarm clock it was 1am yet I couldn't find it in me to go to sleep, if anything I was more awake now with all these thoughts running through my head, than before.
I picked my phone and iPod up shoving them in my pockets and grabbed my keys. I needed to get out, needed to see her, to make sure she was alright that she wasn't feeling the same way I was. That she was somehow miraculously happy and carefree, I knew I was kidding myself but it couldn't hurt to try and make myself believe, without thinking about it I had pulled into Bella's street and outside her house. I wanted nothing more than to bang on the door and make her come out and talk to me but I couldn't, hell for all I knew she'd told Charlie everything and he was about to come out and try to blow my head off with a fucking shotgun, so I sat and looked at her house nothing special going on, lights off no activity yet it made me feel better knowing she was in there.
This was the closest I was going to get to her now, outside her house in the middle of the night, god I sound like such a fucking stalker. It was then the gentle lull of my classical music changed on my iPod and the beginnings of Silverchair came on. If I was supposed to feel even worse it was working, it was like everything Bella was screaming out to me. Instinctively I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and called Bella's number after a few rings I heard her happy excited voice telling me to leave a message
Like she's gonna answer the phone at 3 in the morning dickhead, if she would answer for you anyways now...
"Bella" I started "I don't really know why I'm calling you, I can't sleep I can't think of anything except you right now. I'm outside. I know it's stupid to be outside now it's not like you're gonna get up and start waving out the window but It...It makes me feel closer to you I guess. God I'm such a fuck up. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, I'm not good at apologies and I'm normally the one that makes people feel the way I am now. Guess karmas a real bitch" I said with a harsh laugh
"I don't deserve your forgiveness but I want it, I can't help craving everything you have Bella. I seriously don't know how much more my heart can take and I'm not even the one on the receiving end. I guess ill talk to you soon Bella; just know I'm not giving up without a fight. I let you walk away today but that's not gonna happen again. I love yo-" my sentence remained unfinished as the message ran out. Guess I was lucky I could say all of that. Suddenly the lack of sleep felt the need to catch up with me. Maybe my mind was holding out on sleep until I could tell Bella exactly how I was feeling. With a heavy heart I slowly turned the key and started my car up driving out of her street, failing to notice the small flicker of light in my beloved's room.
Bella POV
So I'm sitting here listening to this god damn message on m phone for what I'm pretty sure is the 15th time. I like hearing his voice.
I had been sitting in my room listening to my iPod for the last few hours not really wanting contact with anyone. Charlie came home at 9, early as usual asking how I was, when I replied fine he could instantly tell there was something wrong but I didn't tell him.
For some reason I felt the need to protect Edward. God knows why, I should have told my dad Edward fucked me over and bet on me but I don't think Dr and Mrs Cullen would be happy when I called telling them there son had bullets in his kneecaps. So I didn't, I told him I wasn't feeling well and needed sleep, sleep being the operative word, no matter what I did I couldn't force myself to go to sleep. When I tried to I just pictured everything that had happened today, Tyler the fucktard sniggering and smirking as he told me Edward needed to explain something before handing me the paper. I should have really ripped it up then and told Tyler to get bent but curiosity got the better of me I guess and it kinda destroyed everything,
Stupid curiosity
Guess in some twisted way I could say its my own fault that all of this happened, but I was brought out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing beside me. Looking at my alarm clock I saw it was just after 3, who the fuck would be calling me now. I looked at the names on my phone and felt my stomach drop, like hell I'm going to answer to him!
After a few rings it stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief, that was until my phone vibrated again telling me I had a voicemail message. I'm pretty sure I sat staring at my phone for a good ten minutes before I switched my bedside light on and found the brave girl inside me. His message was enough to make me cry again, telling me how sorry he was again and how he was sitting outside my house. I quickly ran to the window but no one was there, he was right though, in some fucked up way it made me feel better knowing that he was there. Then he said it, that he wasn't going to give up and it made me feel better for some reason. It made me see that even though he did a fucked up and twisted thing, he still wanted me. The next few days were going to be hell, but I had some strange thought in the back of my mind telling me that everything was going to be okay.
I woke up the next morning, got dressed, and ate breakfast, everything that seemed quite normal but inside it was anything but. I got in my banged up truck and unsurprisingly it decided it didn't want to start first try. Guess I really had been neglecting it the last few days, I gave it a few minutes and tried again, and it spluttered to life just about and began juddering to school slowly. I laughed to myself thinking that if Edward could see me he would be rolling his eyes and telling me my truck is shit.
I pulled up at school and quickly scanned the parking lot for his car, it was there. Closest to the school and surprise there was an empty space right next to him. I stubbornly tried to find another space but all I could find was the furthest away, sending glares towards his car I parked in the empty distant space and began walking into school. No one tried to talk to me today. No one smiled, no one even made a joke at my expense, they all just stared, the occasional girl sniggered at me and I'm pretty sure that was the most alone I had ever felt at this school.
After keeping my head down and talking to no one through my first few classes I was so unbelievably happy to hear the bell for lunch. I stepped out my class and there he was smiling at me, I gave the first genuine smile all day and walked over into a waiting hug
"You alright Bella?" he asked quietly
"No I'm not Jasper I'm just not. I feel like I'm in a fucking circus" I mumbled into his jacket
"C'mon where going to talk" he said ushering me away
"You said everyone wanted to talk?" I questioned
"Yeah they do but there's some things I need to tell you first" he said pulling me towards the benches outside. We walked outside and sat down on the bench that destroyed my life yesterday, but today it felt oddly comforting.
"What's up Jazz" I said smiling at him
"Before we go see everyone else I just wanted to tell you something and you can hate me all you want after but I need you to understand these things" he said quickly. My stomach began twisting in knots again as I slowly nodded for him to continue
"Okay so I have known Edward for years, we used to be best friends in middle school, we would hang out all the time, he was the one that forced me to go talk to Alice because he knew I had been pining over her for years. Then we came here and for a few months it was okay, he got on the basketball team and then thins started changing. He wasn't my best friend anymore for lack of a better word he was a prick. He would leave us for his new friends; make fun of everyone sleep with as many girls as possible. Hell he even tried to hit on Rose when he knew she was with Emmett" he sighed
"Is this supposed to make me feel better about him, because it ain't working"
"I'm getting to the point" he laughed "Then he told us about you. And I will be the first to admit that something was up, the night before he was off with Jessica and then the next day he is declaring his love for you. It didn't make sense, but despite everything I still felt like he was my best friend so I humoured him and said I would help him get with you. Now I see we were pretty much adding fuel to the fire of his little plan" He shrugged
"Anyway after a while things started changing he wasn't acting like prick Edward normally would, he sat with us, got rid of the girls and he was just different. He kept talking about you all the time and he would just have this smile on his face when he said your name. It was kinda strange but we were happy to have our Edward back and it was because of you" he smiled as I bushed a little.
Okay here's where it gets bad though" he winced "At the party last week I saw Edward talking to Tyler and I overheard everything that he had done, the whole bet and everything. He said to Tyler he was still in but I could tell his heart wasn't in it anymore, it was like he was telling Tyler what he wanted to hear but he didn't believe it himself"
"You knew and you didn't tell me" I said sharply
"It wasn't my place to tell you. If I had told you I would have been just as bad as Tyler" I looked at him questioningly "Ok not as bad as Tyler but somewhere on the same level, Edward needed to grow a pair and man up. Seriously when he knew I knew he, well first he threw up then he began to tell me how much of a fuck up he was. Didn't deny it but there was no point arguing with him. He knew he did wrong and was looking for the right time to tell you" he smiled weakly "Before Tyler destroyed everything" he added "So you can hate me if you want but I'm just telling you the truth, he's better because of you"
"I'm not mad at you, I want to be but I get what your saying I really do. I just don't know if I could ever trust him again" I shrugged
"You really do love him don't you" he said, not a question more like stating a fact.
"I really do and its so hard because I don't know how someone that claims to love you can do this" I mumbled
"Edward didn't claim to love you when this started remember, when he did he was so far in he was scared that he would loose you" he smiled "Just take some time and see what happens but you two are to good to throw everything away. That's exactly what Tyler wants, to see both of you unhappy and miserable, c'mon I'm pretty sure Alice will be pitching a fit if were not back soon" he said holding out his hand to help me up
"Y'know your very philosophical when it comes to relationships" I smiled
"Yeah I heard that before" he said laughing.
We walked into the cafeteria and saw Alice waving manically at me from our usual table, scanning the rom I didn't see Edward sitting with us, nor with Tyler and his posse. He was sitting alone, at a small table in the furthest corner and immediately I felt guilty, I felt bad that I had the friends and the normal table and he had to sit alone
"You okay?" Alice asked as I sat down
"Yeah thanks, why is he over there on his own?" I asked quietly
"He didn't say, when he came in he went and sat there I think he's giving you the space you asked for" I wanted to laugh at this idea, sitting away from me at school yet parking up outside my house for house at 3 in the morning, yeah that's giving me space
"See now I feel bad, I feel like were phasing him out" I mumbled
"Don't you feel bad" Rose snapped "He did a shitty thing he should be the one feeling guilty"
"Your right, sorry just in my nature to hate arguments and confrontations" I sighed, quickly stealing glances at him, he was sitting with his hood up and earphones in. Guess he really was feeling as shitty as me.
"Bella we need to talk about Friday" Alice said all business like pulling me back into the conversation
"What about Friday?" I asked
"Prom" Well fuck that right off...
"Alice m not going to prom" I said folding my arms across my chest
"Yes you are and I don't care what you say. Just because things are fucked up with you two at the minute, doesn't mean you are going to deny yourself a night of fun with your friends" she said forcefully. She was right, as much as I was going to fight it, what was the point, she would win, once Alice sets her mind to something that's it.
"Alice look I'm not happy about it, but ill go for you." I sighed
"Thank you" he said happily
"Ill just meet you all there" I added quietly
"Like hell you will! Your dress is still at our house and I'm doing your hair and make up and stuff. Just because you're not going with him don't mean your not going with the rest of us" she smiled happily
"Fine okay ill go with everyone" I mumbled looking over towards his table again, he slowly looked up at me and our eyes met for a fraction of a second before I pulled my gaze away.
We were both in the same boat, but maybe going to prom with my friends would help take my mind of the continuous ace in my chest.
Woo what did people think of that? If you have heard the song i mentioned before do you agree that it makes sense?
&& Congrats to people who were correct that it was Jasper who called Bella heh!
Let me know what ya'l thought please!! review and i will give you hmmm whatever you want again (within reason haha) *Glinda is back!*
Next chapter will be up within a few days i think!
xxx