Title: BONUS FEATURE!

Victim/s: Smoker

A/N's: Haha no it's not the drabble in celebration of my 200th review, that will come later maybe around Monday or so! This is just a little something I did on my forum "The Yaoi Supernova Authors Guild" under our game Pass the Story Stick, and a friend told me that I should post here, so you all can thank him, and his little lurker bootie, who is to good to make an account.

So this one is dedicated to

Kayd and "The Yaoi Supernova Authors Guild"

Wuv you bishes!

…

As things went on crazy like on the deck of the ship, inside the kitchen was a different matter. Sanji sighed sadly and leaned on the counter top as he looked to the oven.

Those bastards were still being loud and jumping around out there even after he … more or less nicely asked them to shut the hell up. Sanji lit up a cigarette, and the fresh nicotine helped calm his nerves some, as walked over to the door reaching for the handle, but paused. What was the point of yelling at them again? Sanji then just locked the door handle, and walked back over the counter island taking a seat on one of the bar stools.

It was like this every day. Craziness … loneliness … and nothing in-between to help him hold on. Well that was not true. There was one thing! Sanji reached over and pulled the Den Den Mushi over to him and made a call with a number he now knew by heart.

As Sanji waited for someone to pick up he flicked the ashes off his cigarette into a near by cup he had been using all day just for that purpose, and that was went the line picked up.

"Smoker here." came a gruff voice.

A smile came to Sanji's lips. "Nice to know you're taking calls again." he slyly said.

There was a pause from the other side of the line for a moment before Smoker questioned, "Who is this?"

"Who do you want it to be?" teased the cook in a sultry voice.

"It's you! You little shit when I find you I'm going to kick your ass!" Smoker promised, and was waving over some other marines to hook up the machines to trace the call.

Sanji puffed out a cloud of smoke. "Oh you and your sweet talk, but there is a favor I want you to do for me."

"Why the hell would I do anything for you!" demand Smoker and he jerked a cord away from a marine to hook it up to his Den Den Mushi, since the other man had not been doing it fast enough for his liking.

"Cause if you do I will stop harassing you." offered Sanji.

"It's not going to matter soon. We have people out looking for you. It's only a matter of time before we catch your Prank Calling ass!" Smoker said, and tapped the side of the machine he had just hooked up to his Den Den Mushi, wishing the blasted thing would work faster to get a reading on the location the guy was calling him from.

"You can try all you like but there is no way ... now listen. I want you to stop them from printing anymore nonsense about me being gay in the newspapers." Sanji stated very firmly.

Smoker deadpanned for a moment. This was why the guy was calling him? "Why does it matter if they say you're gay?" Smoker then asked, wondering if he could get some kind of clues from the man since the machine was coming up blank. The guy must have had a scrambler attached to his Den Den Mushi.

"Because I'm not! So I don't want lies being printed about me." Sanji frowned crushing the butt of his cigarette between his teeth.

Smoker heard the faint sound of the cigarette burning, and the puffs of smoke ever so often. So the guy was a smoker huh? "You know it's ok to be ..." Smoker was cut off there.

"Don't spew that crap to me! That's the biggest damn lie I ever herd, and trust me I have heard a lot of them." huffed the blonde and snuffed out his cigarette, only to lit up a new one.

"So? You going to let people control your life?" questioned Smoker. If he kept the guy talking maybe there was something else he could learn about him as well.

"Said the marine." mocked the cook.

"That is different."

"Oh-ho is it now?"

"Where are you?" Smoker asked growing tired of having some heart to heart with some man he never met before, and could careless about.

"In your bed, why don't you go check?" teased the cook not minding the topic switch. It was just nice to talk to someone.

"Thought you said you were not gay." Smoker could not help but jab.

Sanji let it roll off his shoulders however, as he breathed out another cloud of smoke. "You're the one who took it to that perverted level, not me Smoker. Though now and then for two men to have a little fun … that's not gay. That is just having fun."

"Where is the logic in that?" Smoker could not help but be dumbfounded.

"It's very simple if you think about it. Men just have an easier time getting along with each other, so it's only natural if something more should happen." Sanji said studying his cigarette very closely as he held it between his fingers.

"Yeah they have a word for that … being gay!" Smoker rolled his eyes, "Why the hell are we even talking about this. GAHHH!" he could already feel a headache coming on.

"Because I'm lonely." Sanji said out loud. Being this prank caller person it give him the chance to be someone else … someone maybe that didn't care. Maybe … maybe it was ok if people thought the Prank Caller was gay. It would in a way let him be, with out him having to be.

Smoker went hush, and was not really sure what to say, but he felt a small twinge of sympathy for this guy now.

"Well if it's really ok to be gay ... wanna have Den Den Mushi sex?" Sanji then suddenly asked out of the blue, quickly changing the whole mood, and covering up the loneliness he felt inside himself, to hide behind humor.

And there went the sympathy flying right out the window. "You dirty little pervert shit!" yelled out Smoker, a tic forming on the side of his head.

"Love you too Smoker baby!" Sanji laughed and hung up on the marine. He felt a bit better now. He got up and went over to the stove, and finished the last minute things, then dressed the table with the dinner feast he had made, making sure to keep the good stuff out of sight, and safely hidden so he could present them personally to the ladies when they came in.

Once everything was set, he then opened the door, and called out "Diiiiner!" and step back as Luffy rocketed into the room.

…

A/N's: Hope you all enjoyed!

And don't forget to tell me in your review who,

out of Sanji's victims, you want to find Sanji!

Sanji's life is in your hands!

See you all next week!

^.^