Back to Where We Have Never Been

A/N: As always, thank you for all of your kind words and support. It really is awesome to hear how much you are enjoying this story. That being said, here is chapter 20. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 20

The next five seconds seemed to stretch on for five years as the group stood around staring at each other.

Castle's mind was blank and in overdrive at the same time. Kate, Alexis, co-eds, a line of liquor bottles on the counter, midterms, legs— Kate's legs. What did he say first? What did he say last? What did he ignore?

Kate inched towards the door, her hand running down his arm as she mumbled something about leaving. He caught her fingers as her other hand came to rest on the doorknob and her eyes darted up to meet his, silent questions passing between them.

He shot her a look. Just go with it. Trust me.

Her head jerked in a barely visible nod as he turned to face the three students and his daughter.

"Wait," he started. He could do this. He could make this better. "You guys know each other?"

Andrew nodded slowly as Alexis opened her mouth with a confused look on her face. Castle shot her a look. Don't blow this.

"Yes?" Andrew continued as Becky and the other girl, still nameless, stepped cautiously down the stairs to join the party. "She's our professor…"

Kate gripped his hand tighter.

"Alexis?" He continued. "I didn't know Kate was your teacher."

He turned to look at Kate and her eyes were wide. "I never put that together, did you?"

Kate shook her head at him, unblinking, finally finding her voice. "Nope. Should have though, last name and all."

Andrew held up a hand, the confusion etched on his features. "But weren't you are her office this morning… I could have sworn…"

Kate and Rick shook their heads in tandem.

"No."

"Don't know what you are talking about…"

"Rick wasn't at my office…"

"We just met tonight... ow!"

Castle turned to look at Kate who had just stomped on his foot. Okay, maybe it wasn't the best of ideas to make her sound like someone who just fell into bed with random men she had just met.

Alexis's eyes were still wide but a flash of relief covered her face. They were trying to save her from having to explain to her friends how she had known their Nazi of a professor for years and had dinner with her more often than not in her home with her family and had actually taken to calling her Kate.

Her shoulders relaxed as she shot them a small, grateful, smile.

"But I should be going…" Kate continued.

Kate's hand reached for the door again but she froze as the handle began to turn and was forced to take a step back as it flew open and Martha entered the room.

"Richard! What a surprise," the older woman greeted with a flourish. "I wasn't expecting you to be home so soon, especially since you were going out with… Oh, Katherine! So nice to see you. You look beautiful. I got a copy of that play you asked about the other night at dinner. Richard's has been going on all day about your date tonight. Alexis and I were ready to lock him in his office and duct tape him to his chair to get him to be quiet. We did that once before, you know… it was quite comical, just left him there all day. I think Alexis was fifteen at the time. We went shopping. Got home and he had managed to break himself out with the top of a soup can. What this man does in the name of research, but then again you know all about that..."

Martha turned from where she had been hanging her purse and coat in the closet and her voice trailed off as she took in the horrified looks on both of their faces. "What?"

Kate's eyes flickered over to the group of students and Martha's gaze followed as Alexis's face once again turned beet red. "Oh, you must be Alexis's friends from… oh."

The older woman looked back from the quartet of stunned co-eds to the pair of adults by the door as the actual situation in the room began to dawn on her. "Well, this is awkward."

Kate's shoulder's sagged as she slowly untangled her hand from Castle's grip. The whole group was watching as she padded into the kitchen, picked up the bottle of vodka from the counter and poured a glass, taking a giant sip before settling back against the counter. She glanced around. Six sets of eyes were on her and she let out a sigh and set down the cup. She ignored them for a second more as she opened the drawer on her left, the proverbial junk drawer, scrounged around for a second, pulled out a hair tie and pulled her hair up in a sloppy bun.

"What?" She finally questioned as the group continued to stare. "I'm human. Get over it. How about this? We ignore the alcohol if you completely forget this ever happened."

She swept up her glass and drained it before pushing herself off of the counter in one smooth motion. Walking back across the room, she grabbed Castle's hand and pulled him towards the front door as he stumbled along behind her, glancing back over his shoulder at his daughter.

"We'll talk about this later," he called out to her. "I would recommend sticking to water for the night, though."

"Where are we going?" He questioned as she picked up her clutch and pulled the door open.

"Back to my place. I have some things to explain to you about France," Kate answered and Alexis let out a pained groan from the kitchen causing Rick to laugh.

Kate leaned against the door to her apartment with a sigh as she rested her head back. She slumped slightly as she kicked off her heels and dropped her clutch to the ground.

"Are you okay?" Castle asked quietly as he looked at her from his spot standing across from her.

The cab ride has been quiet and awkward even with their hands clasped together and her leaning against his arm in support.

"My students and your daughter just saw me with your hand up my dress. I'm…" she let out a self-deprecating laugh, bringing a hand up to wipe down her face. "I don't know what I am."

Castle took a step towards her. "It will be fine. You're students may never be able to look you in the eye again but other than that it will be fine."

"They are going to tell the other students. It's hard enough gaining their respect normally, but now… and Alexis…" She let out a sigh as she looked at him, slumped against the door. "Not exactly how you were expecting this night to go is it?"

Castle shook his head and took another step forward so that he was standing directly in front of her, his hand up to cup her cheek. "Everything is going to be fine. Monday you will walk into that classroom and give them their midterm and make their lives hell, just like normal. And yes, there may be a couple of looks and giggles but you will just ignore them and keep going. You will be all right and I will talk to Alexis. She likes you, believe it or not. She'll be fine, also."

She nodded and responded with a watery smile. Taking in a deep breath she brought a hand up to cup his, which was still cradling her cheek, his thumb brushing lightly over her lips. She kissed it gently and he took a half step closer to her, sliding his leg between hers.

"Now," he murmured as he bent his head down, her body shivering in response to the tickle of his warm breath on her ear. "I believe you said something about French lessons?"

She grasped his hand as she led him across the room towards the bedroom, turning to face him as they stood at the foot of the bed. She looked up at him, her lip pulled between her teeth as he stared down at her with a sea of love in his eyes. One of her hands played with the second button of his shirt as the other snaked up around his neck and wound through the short hairs found there.

"I love you," she whispered as she gazed up at him, the words just tumbling from her lips before she could stop them. "I have for a long time."

His breath hitched in his chest and he brought his lips down to meet hers softly as he pressed a hand against the small of her back, pulling her body in to press against his. "I love you, too."

One hand slowly pulled down the zipper on the back of her dress, as the other ran down after it, warming the smooth skin with his touch. He kissed her neck gently and she let out a low groan as her fingers fumbled with his buttons.

"You still have that condom your mom gave you?" he whispered teasingly into her ear and she let out a growl of a laugh as his teeth tugged at her earlobe.

"Don't need it," she whispered back. "There's an entire box in the night stand."

"Oh come on, it would be epic. Can you imagine their faces?" Castle argued as he bent down to place a kiss right below her belly button. "This would be the perfect time for me to guest lecture in your class."

She let out a small laugh and he nipped at her navel as he kissed his way back up her stomach. "No way. No. You are never coming to speak in my class. All it will be is 'You're so handsome Mr. Castle.' 'Please sign my chest Mr. Castle.' 'Are you sleeping with our professor Mr. Castle?' Not going to happen."

He kissed that spot right behind her ear and she let out a soft moan, a knee coming up to cradle him against her. She lifted her head to kiss the slant of his neck and he let out a shaky groan. "Please? I need to see you work. It's…"

She pulled back slightly as his voice trailed off, a hand resting against this side of his head, thumb rubbing against the stubble forming on his cheek as her fingers splayed across his neck. "What's wrong Rick?"

He sighed and rolled off of her, falling to his back on the mattress as she rolled onto her side, propped her head up in one hand as the other reached down to pull the blanket up over them. "My next book is due in a matter of weeks and I haven't written anything."

She reached out a hand to run down his chest. "Why? You have so many ideas. You've had this entire past year to write. You've been doing so well lately…"

"No, it's because of you. I can only write when I am around you."

She took in a sharp breath as he continued on, "The entire time you were gone I couldn't write until I got a post card. Then I would sit down and write an entire chapter in the matter of hours. That's why I started the map, because it reminded me of you. You kept me going. It has always been because of you."

"You mean, you…" Her voice trailed off as her eyes grew wide. "You were in love with me back then?"

He glanced towards her, his eyes wide as he realized what he had just said and he nodded, not even trying to deny it. "I fell in love with you somewhere between the first time you pulled out that stupid red pen and the game of laser tag. That vest was really hot on you, by the way."

She ignored his attempt at humor and instead rolled over so that she was laying on top of him her hand trailing down his body as he gulped.

"What are you doing?" he stuttered out as her head fell to kiss her way down his neck and chest.

"Trying to give you some inspiration."

He let out a strangled groan as he bit his lip. "K."

She awoke the next morning to the light streaming in through the window and the sound of computer keys clacking in the next room. He had commandeered her computer to write and the idea of it made her weirdly giddy. She smiled to herself as she stretched and continued to lie in bed, listening to him typing in the other room. She had no idea if he had even slept the night before. She glanced towards the window and pulled the purple comforter up to shield her body from the slight chill in the air. Fall was settling in and the weather was turning cooler by the day.

A buzzing sound came from the floor and she rolled over to lie on her belly, a hand flopping down to search for the vibrating object. She fished the phone out of Rick's pants pocket and looked at the screen. She bit her lip, debating whether she should tell him, deciding against it as she continued to hear the clacking of keys. It buzzed again and she glanced at the number. It wasn't saved in his contacts. She shrugged. She could answer it and then go get him if it were important. She swiped her finger over the screen

"Hello?" she greeted as she held it up to her ear, flipping her hair to fall over her other shoulder.

"Um, yes, hi. I was looking for Richard Castle. Do I have the right number?" the voice on other end answered.

"Yes, sorry. He's busy at the moment. Can I take a message?" Kate asked reaching to the side table for a pen and an old receipt she could use for the note.

"Oh, sure, yeah." The man fumbled. "Just tell him that Detective Ryan called and we have the file he was asking about."

Kate paused. File? What file? "I'm sorry? What file?"

"Oh, um, the Pulgatti/Anderson case. We know it took a while but it was hard to track down…"

The man continued to talk through the speaker, something about meeting him and being quiet about it. They hadn't told their captain about it but Kate had stopped listening, the sound of her pounding heart and the blood rushing to her head drowning out any other noise.

She clicked the end button on the phone and continued to stare at it for long minutes as her brain tried to process what she had just heard.

The bed creaked and she felt him sit down beside her, her muscles tensing as his hand came to rest on her bare back. She froze as he leaned down to kiss her spine.

"Kate? What's wrong?" His voice filtered in somehow, through the deafening wall of white noise. "Did I get a call?"

Slowly, her head turned to look up at him, the phone falling limply from her fingers as he stared back at her rattling off questions about his mother and Alexis, asking her if they were okay. She was starting to worry him. Why wasn't she saying anything?

She stared up at him as the feeling of panic and anxiety gripped her heart in a way that she hadn't felt in thirteen years, not since she had stood in that alleyway, yanking on her mother's arm, begging her to leave.

Her voice finally came out in a strangled whisper.

"What did you do?"