I stretched my arms, glad I finally was able to. Chakwas had kept me bound up for another couple days before judging I was healed enough to be let out- though the fact that Raptor and I had been rather insistent about it also had a lot to do with it.

But I wasn't supposed to do anything strenuous or use my biotics. I was surprised to realize how much I regretted the latter, considering how recently I'd gotten them.

I winced as I slid on a shirt- despite the bandages covering my stitches, it still tugged on them a bit.

Still, I thought as I walked out into the mess hall, I'm probably not going to need my biotics unless I'm fighting. And if that happens, I'll have bigger problems to worry about then doctor's orders.

I glanced down at my wrist. And there's the fact that Shepard thought it was a good idea to leave this bloody thing on so I wasn't "tempted". I just know that it's revenge for… well there're plenty of things.

I mean, why do we even have an anti-biotic restraint? Heh, antibiotic. I just know I can work that into a joke at some point.

"Glad to see you're up and about Bourne."

I was actually glad for the device at that point, since I was startled enough to put up a barrier. I relaxed a moment later though.

Damnit, that's twice that Kaidan's done that to me. "Only because you guys hauled me on board."

"You'd have done the same for one of us."

"True. But if I did it, I wouldn't end up with a migraine."

He glanced at me.

"Chakwas mentioned it at some point when she was looking me over."

"L2s have their drawbacks, but it means I can do more than a lot of newer biotics. Though I doubt I'd be able to match you."

I shrugged. "Maybe not in terms of raw power, but I never had the same sort of formal training you did."

"Thanks. Still, I've seen you use a gun. You've got me beaten there."

"Well, I think Shepard has us both pretty far outclassed there- along with everyone else on the ship. Did you see her take out 3 Geth with 2 bullets back on Eden Prime?" I rubbed my shoulder. "And she definitely can punch harder."

"Not a lot of guys would admit that."

"You ever seen her when she's really pissed off? Because when I punched Wrex in the face, he was… well, maybe Shepard doesn't quite beat him, but she can match him at least."

"I'll be sure not to get on her bad side then."

"I seem to skirt the line of bad side and neutral side pretty regularly." I looked at his console. "So what exactly are you doing with this thing?"

"Oh, just filtering out some of the junk data that piles up from extranet use. Not really essential, but it keeps me busy enough. Not much else to do if we aren't on a mission."

I glanced around the mess hall. "Where is everyone anyway? Seems like it's just about time for lunch."

"They're probably gathering things for shore leave." He looked at the time on his Omni-tool. "Maybe I'll grab something here before I head out."

"Taking advantage of the free food instead of the jacked up prices?"

"Well there is that. And there's the fact that only a few places on the citadel carry high calorie meals for biotics. Well, most biotics at least."

I narrowed my eyes slightly, but otherwise put my face back into emotionless mode. "Is there a question in that statement?"

"Well, you haven't been taking the biotic rations, have you?"

I frowned. "Maybe that's why I couldn't finish a single meal in the medbay. I figured I just didn't have much of an appetite- and I'm assuming there's a reason you're now looking at me like I've suddenly grown another arm?"

"Permission to speak freely?"

"I really should just make that a standing order for the crew…With the possible exception of Joker." I added as an afterthought.

"You said you grew up on Omega, but… did you have anyone… to…" he trailed off.

"Alenko, let me put it this way. Even if you do somehow manage to offend me, I'm biotic-less at the moment. And I'm also supposed to avoid straining myself, so I think you're safe."

He crossed his arms and leaned back against his console. "I guess I'm wondering if your body adapted to having fewer calories. I mean if you didn't have enough to eat on Omega."

Hmm. Interesting idea. I may have to steal it when I need to talk to Shepard.

"I guess I've just taken if for granted." I chuckled. "Being able to take out a girl without eating like a pig isn't exactly something to complain about… uh, no offense."

"None taken. Trust me, I've heard a lot worse."

My omni-tool suddenly let out a beep, signifying that I had a message. "Hang on, I better make sure Shepard doesn't need me for something."

I opened it, and I as I read it I was glad for such a good poker face. "I'd better get going."

He nodded and turned back to his terminal.

I headed for the elevator, and opened the message back up so I could reread it.

Jason,

Heard Chakwas let you out of the medbay. Hope you're still up for drinks tonight- unless you've got a better idea. I can think of a few myself.

-Ashley.

"Huh. That might be the first time someone's actually called me by my first name." I commented aloud.

I leaned against the wall, trying to think it over with a little clearer head.

Well, I could definitely do worse than Ashley. Thing is, do I really want to get involved in something while I'm trying to save the universe?

Granted, 85% of my Shepards did it and were happy, but I'm not Shepard. Much as I look like a certain psychopathic version.

Well, worse thing that'll happen is it'll fail miserably and I'll end up in a deep depression that… huh, that worse thing was meant to be less pessimistic.

I sighed.

On a more important note: Shepard's going to want answers eventually, and I can't put her off forever. Hell, she probably knows more about Liara than about me, considering how often I saw her going in there to talk to her while I was in the sick bay.

And I owe her something, even if it's mostly lies. She's been the closest thing I've got to a friend since arriving here. Maybe even just a friend, I don't know.

But it'd be idiotic to tell her the truth. Just the thought of Akuze reduced her to… I don't even have words for that. If I told her she was just a fictional character, or that I'm the one who created her… she probably wouldn't believe me, but if she did she'd lose everything that makes her… her.

Argh, and I thought it was annoying when I had to decide who to save…on.. virmire…

I felt a shiver go down my spine, realizing why Alenko had managed to surprise me twice. I'd walked past his console hundreds of times. But 3/4s of the time, he hadn't been there. He'd been in a million pieces, dead.

I leaned my head against the wall, eyes closed.

I'd thought about it back on Eden Prime, but I'd been quickly distracted by bigger issues. And at the time, I'd only just met them; I hadn't had much personal stake.

But now… I didn't know exactly how I felt about Ashley, but I knew enough to know I wanted to at least give things a shot.

But Kaidan…I'd be dead if he hadn't helped the others lift me onboard. Heck, I was just talking to him a minute ago and enjoying the rare moment of semi-normalcy. Now I'm thinking about killing him?

I tried justifying it to myself a moment, thinking that he'd be dead whether I was there or not. But I knew deep down that if I withheld that information, his blood would be on my hands. Just like Nihlus's was, and that of many more would be.

I don't have a choice. I have to keep it from them.

(What makes you think they'd believe you anyway?)

I jerked upright, flicking my wrist as though I had my knives on my arms.

Was that… no, couldn't have been. Must've just dozed off or something.

I realized the elevator was slowing down, and I nearly walked right into Tali as the doors opened.

"Oh, hello Bourne." She said nervously. "I didn't realize you were in there. Though I guess I should have realized someone was, since it was coming down when I got here… keelah now I'm babbling like an idiot."

"Don't worry. I know a lot of idiots, but you aren't one of them."

"Thanks." She mumbled.

"Tali, Shepard said you're blaming yourself for bringing the cave down on our heads." I paused, surprising myself with my bluntness.

"Well…" she rubbed her hands, as though she was washing them without water, something she did when she was nervous. And again I know something personal about someone I've barely talked to. Is there any way to do that without it being super creepy?

I shook myself back to the present. "I just want you to know it wasn't your fault. It was my rock-headed idea, regardless of who pressed the buttons."

"Shepard said something similar. I'm not sure either of you convinced me." From what I could see through the mask, she looked almost depressed.

"Accidents happen. But I get the feeling that isn't all that's got you down."

"It's nothing, really."

I raised an eyebrow. I couldn't see her face, but her body language was similar enough to human to read.

"You been having trouble sleeping?" I *asked*. Creepiness aside, it does come in handy to know so much about these guys.

"How did you-"

"I've heard that Flotilla ships tend to be pretty loud. By comparison, this bird would be whisper quiet."

She nodded reluctantly. "Normally silence would mean that something went wrong."

"Maybe you could download some sort of… ship sound simulator? I don't know, I'm sure you could find something like that on the citadel."

"Assuming anyone would sell to a Quarian." She commented.

"If they don't, give me a call and I'll see what I can do to change their minds."

I could see her surprise even through her helmet, but Ashley walked over before she could reply.

"Thanks for holding the elevator Tali. I wanted to finish modifying that gun before I headed up."

I frowned. "We aren't at the Citadel already, are we?"

"No. Shepard just called some sort of meeting for the ground crew, up in the com room."

"Huh. You'd think she'd have mentioned it to her XO." I muttered.

"She broadcast it over the intercom. Maybe you just couldn't hear it in the elevator."

I looked back at the accursed contraption and sighed. "Figures. I spend an eternity riding down here in this thing, now I've gotta spend another going back up."

Ashley chuckled. "Well, maybe having company will make it seem faster."

"Here's hoping." I said, reluctantly getting back in.

Her smile shrunk slightly.

… Damnit, was she just flirting with me and I missed it? Meh, I'll just have to make it up to her later. When Tali isn't around.

I didn't let it show on my face- I'd have been surprised if I did- but I suddenly got a bad feeling about the meeting, that only increased as we got closer to the top.

Every instinct I had was screaming at me not to go in there, but I couldn't think of any reason not to.

It went from a barely noticeable hum to an annoying buzzing in my ear as I walked into the room, stopping at the door.

Huh, so me being here adds another locker but not another chair? I mean, I don't really care, but... I leaned against the wall. I realized a moment later I'd chosen a spot where I could see everyone, and yet be right by the door, if I needed to get out in a hurry.

Chakwas said she took me off the meds, but maybe I've still got a few traces left or something. That must be why I'm all jittery.

"So, what'd you drag us here for?" Wrex asked Shepard.

She was standing at the far end of the room, where she too could see-and address- everyone.

"Well, since Bourne was out of action, and Liara was recovering, this is the first chance we've had to debrief."

(Yeah, nothing like waiting 3 days and letting all the details fade.)

I felt a chill go down my spine again, all that buzzing seeming to have sharpened into one stabbing pain in my temple.

"Bourne, you alright?"

I nodded, not sure whether or not I was lying. "Yeah, sorry, I was just thinking."

"Better mark it on the calendar then." Garrus said. "Must be a rare occurrence."

"Bet it's more common than you-"

Joker's voice on the com cut me off. "Hey, since you guys are all in there, now would be a good time to point out that when we're leaving orbit, you generally don't want to leave the door open. It tends to suck out all the air and make it impossible to breathe. Just for future reference."

I rolled my eyes, imagining the grin as he said that.

"We almost died out there and the Pilot is making jokes?" Liara asked incredulously.

"It's a coping mechanism." I replied. "Well, that and the fact that this is one of the rare times I'm not in a condition to hurt him for saying it."

"… I see. It must be a human thing."

I couldn't hold back a chuckle. She looked at me in confusion, but seemed to decide not to ask. "I'm afraid I don't have much experience dealing with your species Lt. Bourne. Though I am grateful to you for helping save my life. Although I wish you hadn't been injured doing it."

I shrugged. "I've had worse."

Shepard shook her head. "Somehow, I really doubt that."

"Lady, have you ever felt how hard you can punch?"

She rolled her eyes and turned back to Liara. "Do you have any idea why Saren was after you?"

Ashley looked for a moment like she was going to say something, but then she glanced at me and held her tongue.

"Do you know anything about something called the Conduit?" Kaidan asked.

I barely kept from flinching, thinking about Virmire again, and I briefly wondered if that was why I was so on edge.

(Wow. You really are slow.)

I tried to ignore that voice- because it clearly wasn't my own.

"Only that it was somehow connected to the prothean extinction. That is my real area of expertise. I have spent the last fifty years trying to figure out what happened to them."

The pressure in my head increased. What the hell? What is going on?

"Wait. Did you say fifty years?" Shepard asked.

"Yes. It seems a long while to you, but in an Asari's eyes, it is very little. I'm still considered a child by Asari standards."

"Not to be rude, but how old are you exactly?" There was a tone of something in her voice that I couldn't quite place. Not just surprise but… my head was hurting too much to try figuring it out. All I wanted to do was get out as soon as possible.

"I hate to admit it, but I am only a 106"

Ashley chuckled. "Damn, I hope I look that good when I'm that age."

"Yeah, I don't think I'd mind that at all if you were."

Kaidan's surprised look made me realize I'd said it out loud, although he didn't comment on it. Nobody else seemed to have heard me though.

"That may seem ancient to you humans, but considering how long Asari or Krogan can live…" Wrex let it trail off. "Well, like she said, to us she's hardly old enough to be moved out of the house.'

"Which is why my research has not gotten much attention." Liara explained. "Because of my youth, other Asari scholars tend to dismiss my theories on what happened to the protheans."

"I have my own ideas about what happened to them." Shepard commented.

"With all due respect commander, I have heard every theory out there-"

I cut her off, my tongue almost moving of its own accord. "You haven't heard this one. And it's not just a theory. The Protheans were wiped out by a race of sentient machines called the reapers, just like several civilizations before them." Liara turned to me in surprise- as did pretty much everyone else.

"What? How do you know that there were other civilizations before them? I have been researching for years and I have hardly found -" She stopped as she realized what I had said about what wiped them out. "Wait, Reapers? I have never heard of…how do you know this? What evidence do you-?"

Shepard cleared her throat, getting Liara's attention. "There was a prothean beacon on Eden Prime. It was damaged, but it still had enough life in it to send a vision into both my head" She smirked. "And into Bourne's head, such as it is."

That got a few chuckles.

"I don't remember anything about past civilizations though. Maybe it got broken up so we got different pieces."

I felt a light bulb go off over my head- and not for good reasons.

Oh shit- if she mind melds with me to get the evidence, she could see anything I've ever experienced- including memories of playing this game back in the real world!

(You know, real world is really such a relative concept.)

This time there was no ignoring it. I had been hoping it wasn't what I thought it was, but this time there was no doubt.

)Iron? But I threw you into space! How are you- come to think of it, how are you alive to begin with?(

(Do you ever listen? Eh, you've got the perfect memory, you can figure it out on your own. The more urgent question is: how do we keep her from rooting around in our head?)

)There is no "our head". Only mine. It just happens to have an uninvited leech.(

(For now maybe. At least I finally managed to break through and get you to acknowledge me. It's like you don't want to talk to me or something.)

)Gee, I wonder if the attempted murder had anything to do with that.(

(Does it really count if it was a dream?)

)If you're here, it clearly was more than a dream.(

)Oh come on, you're way too nice to hold that against someone.)

)And you're too stupid to recognize sarcasm. Now shut up. I can't listen to you at the same time as them.(

(You could just kill them. That'd solve the problem.)

I chose not to respond to that comment, turning my attention back outward. Obviously, having a lunatic in my head was a problem, but this was a bit more urgent.

"Yes, of course, that makes sense. The beacons were designed to transmit information directly into a user's mind. Finding one that still works is extremely rare."

(Unless you happen to be on Thessia.)

"No wonder the Geth attacked Eden Prime."

Garrus nodded. "The risk was worth the gain."

"But wouldn't they have been designed for Prothean use only?" Tali asked.

"Yes, and they would have been programed in a way that corresponded with Prothean Physoilogy."

(What, having an extra pair of eyes, or the mind reading thing?)

"Whatever information the two of you received would have been unclear, or distorted."

I nodded. "That's pretty accurate, though a bit understated."

"I am… amazed that you were able to make sense of it at all." She turned to Shepard. "You must have a remarkably strong will."

"Or we're just stubborn." I commented.

(I would have chosen stupid as an adjective, personally.)

)Funny, I don't recall asking you. Nor do I recall asking for it on anything else.(

(Maybe your perfect memory slipped.)

)Maybe you should go to hell- and scratch the maybe.(

"Another mind might have been completely destroyed by the process."

)Argh, as much as I'd like to keep insulting you, we need to think of a way to keep her out of my head.(

(For someone with perfect memory, you seem to be forgetting something: She won't merge on the first mission, only after we get the other half, the Cipher, or the coordinates to the Mu relay.)

)In the game, yeah. But that was immediately following the rescue. Here, it's been a few days because I got stabbed.(

(A pity it was in the side and not in the head.)

)Yeah, maybe a lobotomy would've gotten rid of you.(

(You're welcome to try it if you like. Not like you don't carry around a billion knives.)

"This is interesting and all, but it isn't getting us any close to finding out what Saren's up to." Ashley put in.

"Neither is that sort of attitude. Right now, it's the only real lead we have." Shepard replied.

"I suppose my scientific curiosity got the better of me." Liara apologized. "Unfortunately, I lack any information that would help you."

Meh, give it a few years. Then you'll have all the information in the galaxy.

(Or give her about 20 seconds. If she suggests a mind meld, we don't have many options.)

)I'm aware of that. So shut up and let me think.(

"I'm not sure why Saren wanted you out of the picture, but you'd probably be a lot safer onboard the Normandy." Shepard said.

"I can't think of any place safer should Saren come after me again. And my knowledge might be useful later on."

)Or maybe it'll be right now.(

(What?)

)Just watch.(

"Biotics ought to come in handy too, if my rescue was anything to go by." I added. "And maybe that knowledge can be put to use now."

(I know this is a bit of a hypocritical question, but have you gone bonkers?)

"Maybe you'd be able to-" I cut myself off, pretending to reconsider. "On second thought, never mind."

"What?" Liara and Shepard asked at once.

I set my face in a way that meant the discussion was over. And if I know Raptor, that's just the way to get her to ask me about it.

"If you've got an idea, let's hear it." She said, in a tone that made it clear it wasn't a request.

(Wait, are you trying to get her to meld with us?)

)Meld, yes, but not with us.(

"Maybe she'd be able to figure out what the visions mean."

"How?" Shepard asked. "I wouldn't be able to describe it well enough to be of use, and I doubt you could either."

Liara's eyes widened as she figured out what I was getting at. "Of course. If I was to join minds with one of you, I might be able to help you understand the visions."

Ashley opened her mouth, clearly to object, but I cut her off.

"It's worth a shot at least."

Shepard thought it over a moment before nodding. "Alright, so who goes first?"

Kaidan spoke up before I could. "You're the one that was knocked out commander. It's possible that was because you got more information than Bourne."

Hmm, that's actually a pretty clever excuse. I was just going to say I wasn't back to 100% yet.

(Probably the reality warping coming in to save us from your pathetic attempts at lying.)

)The main way to detect a liar is facial cues, and I guarantee I don't do those.(

(What about body language?)

)Good enough to fool these guys at least.(

(Don't be sure of that. Garrus was C-sec, remember? He'd be used to signs like that. And Tali is going to be paying more attention to body language anyway.)

)Yeah, but why would they be looking in the first place? And there's also the fact that I'm not even the same species, so how good at it could they be?(

"The Lieutenant makes a good point Commander."

It took me a half second to realize LIara was talking about Alenko, not me.

"Alright, let's see what this does." Shepard said as Liara stood up.

The asari walked over, standing in front of her. "Try to relax commander."

I had to admit, I was wierded out as Liara's eyes went almost completely black. "Embrace Eternity!"

You know, I've never really understood the phrasing behind that. If the goal is to focus, you're basically saying that you should think about everything in existence.

(Who knows, maybe it's a mistranslation and they really mean "let's bang.")

)… Note to self. Watch what I think with you in my head.(

I turned back to the two, both standing completely motionless. After a couple of minutes, Liara's eyes snapped back to normal and she backed up a few steps.

"That was… intense."

(Think it was good for Shepard too?)

)Remind me to use that line when I'm not on her bad side.(

(I won't hold my breath waiting for that to happen.)

)You're a bodiless voice; you don't have breath to hold.(

(Ever heard of a metaphor?)

"Did you find anything?" Kaidan asked.

Liara shook her head. "No. Actually, the vision seems incomplete. Perhaps there is another half that would make it more clear. If Lt. Bourne has-" She staggered, and Shepard rushed to catch her.

"Are you ok?"

"I'll be alright Commander. It is simply that melding minds is exhausting. A mind as strong as yours is especially hard to join with. It instinctively resists the melding."

Shepard seemed to realize how close she was to the Asari, and stepped back a bit.

"It is only passing. As I was saying, perhaps-" She staggered again.

I shook my head. "I think we ought to wait. Neither of us is fully recovered. And I think it's fair to say I'm at least as stubborn as Shepard- if not more so- so my mind'll be even more draining. Not to mention the anti-biotics and antibiotic-"

Garrus cut me off. "Do we really time to wait?"

Shepard turned to face him. "I'm not going to risk it in their current conditions." She turned back to the Asari. "You should probably go rest."

"I suppose you are right. Are we done here then?"

"For now, yes. You're probably going to be staying in the office behind the medbay, right?"

She nodded.

"Good. That way I'll know where to find you if something comes up. The rest of you- dismissed. Wait, not you Bourne."

I stopped midstep and turned to face her. "Yeah?"

"Did you have a chance to finish your report for the council?"

"Finish? I haven't even started it yet."

"I figured as much. Joker, hold off on sending my report. It'll look better if we send them both at once."

"Roger that Commander."

I was the last one out. For all the other things I'd lied about, I was telling the truth about my injuries still keeping me down.

(So, your plan was basically hoping that she'd be too tired to do it with you?)

)Well, I had to try something, and it's not like I had a lot of options.)

(I suppose it will suffice for now. You'll have to think of something else eventually though…)

His voice seemed to fade away.

)Please tell me you just died.(

Silence was my only answer.

Great. So not only do I have all this other crap going on, now I've got a maniac stuck in my head. I'd ask what the universe is going to throw at me next, but I've tempted fate enough as it is.

I opened the door and nearly walked into Shepard.

"Here, you're going to need this." She said, handing me a blank datapad.

I groaned. "Have I mentioned how much I hate paperwork?"

"Relax. It'll mostly be a supplement to mine. Just put down what you can remember."

Well, if she wants that much, I hope I can type as fast on this thing as on a laptop.

"Alright, this should probably take me an hour. Maybe two."

Assuming there's no more interruptions.

"If it's any motivation, the sooner you're done, the sooner you get shore leave."

I smiled. "Good. Ashley said something about going to a bar."

"I bet that would get Tali's mind away from blaming herself for dropping a mountain on us."

… That is soooooo not what I had in mind.

"Let me know when you're done." She said, turning to leave.

Sometimes I really hate this universe.

(I'm sure it hates you too.)

)Go to hell.(

Yeah, for anyone saying I shouldn't have used Iron... I can't really comment on that without pissing off a lot of people so I'll just leave things there. All I'll say is that I get what some people have said, and I'll try toning down certain things. (Note that I did say try)

Until next time- well, I may end up releasing chapters every other week. I've managed to keep a few chapters ahead, but I'm also dealing with some other things right now, so it may slow down my writing.

Hopefully I'm just being paranoid, but if chapter 22 doesn't show up next week, that's why. I'll try to get some more chapters done so I can keep the weekly thing going, but like I said.

Anyway, Sayonara.