Author's Chapter Note:

I realise most of you will have forgotten what happened last, but I don't want to put a summary here for everyone who just wants to get on with it! The end of the last two chapters will refresh your memory - you don't have to read all of them :)

Anyways! If there's anyone still left out there, I'd like to thank you all for your encouragement and support over the last 7 or so months, you guys rock and I've never met any of you! Thank you to everyone who reviews, everyone who rec's, and even to those of you who've been inspired to write your own!

I hope you enjoy our gentle break back in to Bella's head :)

Big love to my beta dani for getting this done when she had a boatload of uni work to do, and to my validator and partner in crime devilsgenie for always being so awesome :D

See you at the bottom!

Chapter 21 – Break Away

Bella's POV

I grew up in a small town, and when the rain would fall down,

I'd just stare out my window,

Dreaming of what could be, and if I'd end up happy

I would pray…

Trying hard to reach out, but when I tried to speak out,

It felt like no one could hear me.

Wanted to belong here, but something felt so wrong here,

So I prayed I could breakaway.

My fingers were shaking on the keys, but the steady drum beat behind me and Jamie's reassuring smile from the other side of the glass told me all I needed to know. No one was really watching – it was just a camera with a little green light – if I got it wrong we could start over without anyone the wiser.

At first I'd hated having to restart with band members, always thinking they were judging me, talking behind my back that I couldn't even get my own songs right when they could, but over the weeks I'd become happy in my little booth, content to let things happen my way. Now, if I needed to start again, we started again, and they'd turn their sheets back to the beginning and wait for my cue. Everything was on my terms. Jamie was right, it had just taken me a while to realise it.

With the guitar kicking in as strong and sure as ever, I found my voice and continued to sing a song I was sure I'd never forget the words to, every lyric resonating within me.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky.

And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and break away,

But I won't forget all the ones that I love.

I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jamie do a little dance in his seat, and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe I was finally going to get it right. I focused my thoughts and moved on to the second verse, ignoring the camera and the man controlling it.

I wanna feel the warm breeze, sleep under a palm tree, feel the rush of the ocean,

Get on board a fast train, travel on a jet plane,

Far away, I'll breakaway.

David, I think his name was, circled the piano and followed the guitar rhythm instead, giving me a few precious seconds to collect myself without the eyes of the world potentially seeing it. Jamie was convinced the rising hits on YouTube were a sure sign of success, but I had no idea if the amount our – my – channel had were a lot or not. I tried not to pay attention, not wanting to know either way.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky.

And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change and breakaway,

But I won't forget all the ones that I love.

I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway.

The door behind Jamie opened and Felix walked in, but I told myself I had to finish the song and ignore everything else until I had. It had been over two weeks since I'd last posted a video, and Jamie was nervous that too long would allow the "followers" to lose interest. I had to get it right and get it up online.

Buildings with a hundred floors, swinging 'round revolving doors,

Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but,

Gotta keep moving on, moving on,

Fly away, breakaway.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.

Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye,

I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change,

And breakaway.

Out of the darkness and into the sun

But I won't forget the place I come from

I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change,

And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway.

I held my breath until the last strains of both the guitars and the piano had died away. Until I was sure the camera was off and everything was done. Until I was sure I couldn't muck it up by doing something wrong.

I'd clearly been sat too still for too long because Jamie opened the door between his booth and mine with a worried look on his face. With a reassuring smile, I wiped my sweating palms on my jeans and followed him out into the even cooler space where Felix stood smiling happily.

"You sound like you're making progress, Bells. I'm happy, and sorry it took you so long to feel comfortable here." His happy smile slipped momentarily, and he looked troubled before he schooled his features.

"I am. And it wasn't your fault, or anybody's really, I just never thought I'd have a permanent place to belong after so many years of working for everyone and no one."

Jamie's hand landed on my shoulder and squeezed before he cleared his throat and changed the subject.

"Madame here is well on course to hit six hundred thousand views once this video goes up – people are loving her!" he told Felix with barely restrained enthusiasm. "Not to mention that no publicity is bad publicity…things are looking up," he added with a concerned look shot my way and a smirk shot Felix's afterwards.

I knew what he was talking about, and it filled me with dread to think that maybe other people thought that way too. That I'd only been pictured with Jasper to get my name out there, that I'd only accepted his friendship because I knew what his name could do for mine. It wasn't true, I wasn't like that, but it didn't stop some of his "most loyal fans" from calling me a limelight whore and other such hurtful things.

Jamie told me time and again they were only jealous because Jasper had chosen to spend his time with me and never would them, but I couldn't ever completely get their words out of my head.

What bothered me the most was, what if Jasper thought that way too?

It had been three weeks since my kiss with Edward and I'd only spoken to him once. The same day Edward had walked away from me – broken – I'd broken Jasper, too.

He'd come to the studio around lunchtime, smiling without a care in the world, but that smile had slipped the second he took in my expression and Heidi's hand on my shoulder. She'd come to make sure I was holding up during my lunch break, and Jasper had walked in just as I'd managed to dry my tears.

I hadn't been crying for me; I knew I had no right to do that. It was my fault, all my fault. I'd made a decision despite having doubts and then gone back on it not a day later, hurting two best friends and pitting them against each other. Of course, I hadn't known the latter until my conversation with Jasper was over, but his parting words would forever haunt me.

"We're done. All the times I've looked after him, helped him out and stood by him, and what for, huh? Just so he could go and ruin something else?" he shouted angrily.

"Jasper, it wasn't his fault! He had no idea you'd…"

"WHAT? Gotten in there first? That didn't matter, Bella! He knew how I felt about you, dammit. I'd told him enough times! And for the first time I thought he'd be happy for me! Stand by me!"

"I…"

"He knew, Bella! He knew! So how does that make you feel now, huh? Still sure he's the innocent one in all of this? That we've hurt him? God, you're delusional!" I'd flinched. I deserved his wrath, but it still didn't make it any easier to take.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I know that doesn't mean much, but I am, you have to believe that."

He looked at me softly before answering, and his resigned attitude seemed to hurt more than the anger. He was broken, and despite it not being the time, I couldn't help but remember how Edward had been the same. I'd broken them both by using the other.

"I do believe you, Bella. I just wish he didn't exist. None of this would have happened if he wasn't around. It seems I can't have anything without him ruining it somehow."

I fought the way my brow wanted to furrow, wondering what else Edward had ruined for Jasper. Up until that point, I thought they'd always been the best of friends and that Jasper didn't know what it was that made Edward the way he was. It was at that moment I realised he'd been lying to me, too, only I was in no position to call him out on it.

Jasper had walked out of my door, leaving the lunch he'd brought for the two of us sitting on Jamie's chair. I'd felt nothing when the door clicked shut behind him. There was no pain, hatred, disappointment. No tugging in my chest that made me want to follow him and beg him to stay.

It wasn't the same as Edward walking away from me. If I hadn't known before, I knew then that Edward meant more to me than Jasper ever would. I'd made the wrong decision, epically, and it was all my fault.

"I hear you and Heidi are off to check out some properties?" Felix asked with a smile, bringing me out of my reverie. My eyes snap to his and I smile faintly. Thinking of Edward would never wear off, and the feelings it brought with it took a while to fade from my system too. The way Felix looked at me told me he knew exactly how I was feeling and what had been going through my head as we'd stood there.

"Yep, I think we have two during lunch," I answer, some of my happiness seeping back through.

Felix had heard about my little plan to move out of the hotel and get settled and had kindly offered the services of the family estate agent to help me out. I know, the family had an estate agent. I worried at first that the sort of estate agent they used wouldn't even know what an apartment in my budget would look like, but he'd laughed it off and told me not to worry about it.

He'd been right, of course. Over the last week, Kate – the estate agent – had shown Heidi and me three different apartments, all in my budget, close to the area and decent in both size and look. Problem was, none of them were very me. I'd never shopped for a home before, obviously, but I felt it was sort of like buying a wedding dress: you didn't know the one until you were in it.

"Say hi to her for me when you get downstairs, yeah?"

I nodded with a giggle. "As if you haven't seen her at least three times by now today?" Jamie laughed, but when Felix shot him a glare, he turned it into a cough, somewhere in which there was a "whipped" thrown in.

Laughing, I picked up my bag and jacket – it was cooler than usual outside – and headed out into the corridor, leaving Jamie being beat up by Felix and ignoring his shouts for help.

I sat patiently on what I discovered to be one of the comfiest sofas in the world that reside in our foyer as I wait for Heidi to finish a client call at reception. I watched as people I've never seen before walk in and out of doors, some with instruments in hand, some in suits with cell phones glued to their ears, and some who've just walked into the impressive building to have a look around the ground floor.

When she was finished, we headed out into the dull grey weather and hailed a cab, Heidi reading an address she wrote down when Kate called to tell her where we were going. It was barely five minutes before we were pulling up, stopping on Sunset Boulevard. No way could I afford an apartment on Sunset Boulevard.

I must have said my thoughts aloud as Heidi answered me. "West Sunset Boulevard, Bella, west." She chuckled good-naturedly and ushered me out of the back of the car. We'd barely left the hub of activity we worked in. It probably would have taken us just as long to walk, and I wondered why we hadn't.

"Bella, have you seen these shoes? I'm not walking anywhere if I don't have to," Heidi said as way of an explanation, and when I checked out her shoes, I knew exactly what she meant. They were high.

I glanced up and down the street, seeing people coming and going, shops, restaurants and lots of traffic. It wasn't peaceful looking or quiet, but instead of putting me off, it made me like it a little more. Somehow it reminded me of the little flat I shared with Renee when we were in New York.

The apartments were directly above a Japanese grill, and Heidi wasted no time in telling me she loves Japanese food. I rolled my eyes because, without even seeing the inside of it, I could tell she loved it.

We rounded the corner onto North Hayward Avenue – I checked the street sign – and found Kate waiting for us, smile in place and keys in hand. I noticed the block had underground parking as we passed it and wondered if I'd ever have a little car of my own, too.

"Each of the apartments has its own name, and lucky you are here to see Sunset. It's on the corner and it's the penthouse." Kate dived straight into her sales pitch, but at the look of horror on my face, she laughed. "Don't worry, Bella, you can afford this place. Trust me a little, okay?"

I nodded, a little shocked that I could afford a penthouse on Sunset Boulevard, but kept my mouth shut. She swiped a card and led us through an automatic wooden gate that, instead of leading us into a building, led us into an immaculately kept courtyard situated in the middle of all the apartments.

My jaw dropped as Heidi turned to smile and wink in my direction. Three tall, thin trees lined either side, with shrubs and bushes filling in the ground space. Down the middle sat a wide paved area, complete with marble arches reaching overhead. At the other end, we reached another door to which Kate typed in a code before ushering us inside to a sort of reception area.

"Okay, so this is where I tell you that onsite amenities include private parking, four outdoor rooftop sky lounges, a sports lounge, a fitness studio and Yoga loft, wet and dry saunas, an infinity swimming pool and spa, an internet lounge for all residents, three large lounge areas – one with a bar – and a twenty-four hour manned security and reception desk."

"This place is amazing," is about all I managed to get out through the awe of what she'd just told me.

"Good, now I can show you the apartment."

We spent the rest of the afternoon giggling like teenagers as we wandered around the apartment – the penthouse – taking note of the views, the granite finishes, the concrete and marble floors, the amazing bath tub, the vaulting ceilings and even the high tech gadgets in the kitchen. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with it, and it took me even less time to decide I wanted it.

"I have two. They're both identical in shape, just the opposite way around. The only difference is the view. You can either wake up to the skyline of Los Angeles or the backdrop of the Hollywood Hills, and Bella, it's completely up to you."

I take a look around the unit I was standing in. Taking in the white staircase that led to the second bedroom on the balcony that overlooked the lounge, the outdoor balcony that led to the skyline of LA, the light wooded kitchen and even the plush rug between the plasma and the sofa.

"I want this one," I answered positively. I'd fallen in love with this one, and I knew if I saw the other one I'd never be able to choose.

"Excellent! I'll have you sign this now and fax the rest of the paperwork over to the office. I'm sure Felix will agree to be your guarantor, so that shouldn't be a problem." She flicked through the file she'd been carrying around all afternoon before setting a single sheaf of paper down on the breakfast bar and a pen on top of it.

"How much is it?" Heidi asked next, and I instantly felt foolish for saying I'd take it before even enquiring.

"This one comes in at three thousand nine hundred a month," Kate answered coolly. My eyes bugged a little, and I had to remember that I'd worked out four thousand as my topmost limit when I'd talked to Heidi about finding a place of my own. Kate had done what I'd asked of her and found me a little paradise to call my own that was technically within my budget, even if I'd loved it to be less.

"It's perfect, Kate. Thank you so much for finding this."

She waved me off with a perfectly manicured hand. "It's my job, Bella. Now, now that you've signed that, I'll fax the rest over this afternoon. I should be able to get the keys to you within the next three to four days, and after that, it's all yours to do with as you please."

Heidi squealed in excitement before throwing her arms around me and jumping us both up and down. As Kate walked us out, locking the door behind us, I couldn't help but think things were finally looking up.

All I needed to do was tell Renee I was leaving her to fend for herself.

Author's Chapter End Notes:

No song to google this time! Didn't want to put two in!

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