Hey Everyone!
OMG I AM SO SORRY. School is really beating the shit out of me, and I have had no drive to write The Tin Man's Lament (even though I spend the better part of my part-time job writing outlines for this story!). But not to fret! I have this chapter waiting for you (and another one in the capable hands of Blue). I promise that the next few chapters are going to be fantastic, as we all know that gifts from psycho ex-boyfriends place a damper on any relationship (get ready for the ride!).
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I hope you all enjoy this chapter!
P.S. Criminal Minds is not mine at all
"Milos!"
The gentleman who was walking towards his car turned at the sound of his voice. He was heading home after a long shift bartending. He wasn't the type of person to work until very late, but Hugo bailed, and with Jackie in the hospital, Milos could only curse at his luck and work a double shift until the early hours of the morning. He knew to keep his guard up, scared of being mugged, but his car was less than fifteen feet away. He would be fine if he hurried home quickly, taking the main road instead to shed at least ten minutes.
Hearing someone calling his name wasn't a part of the plan.
Turning around quickly, Milos wasn't expecting the elbow to come flying out of nowhere. The bartender hit the ground hard, being unconscious before he made contact with the concrete. The person with the strong elbow hooked their hands underneath Milos' arms, dragging him to a nearby pick-up truck. No one else saw him being shoved into the back, and bound before being covered by a tarp. His girlfriend reported him missing, and for three long days, she had no answer.
Until she got a phone call.
[ + ]
Sit Noah Alexander Bennett.
The name was ingrained in Spencer's mind. He couldn't shake the feeling that the worst possible thing that happened did happen. He was trying very hard to focus on walking instead of running towards the lair the second Garcia sent Reid a text ('New info, Mr. Darcy.'). Before Spencer could answer Derek's vague questions, or innuendos, he stood from his desk, walking towards Penelope's office (Reid knew running would lead to suspicions). He was very thankful of Penelope's help. It was strange, trying to figure out who Noah Bennett was. Every time Garcia would search for the name, nothing would come up. The name wasn't on any list. No criminal records, no driver's license… not even a birth certificate. Penelope wasn't discouraged. She told Spencer that no matter how hard someone would try to scrub away their name, she'd find a fleck of a shaving of who they were, and get all the information she wanted. The downside was it would take a few days. That was eleven days prior, and for eleven agonizing days Spencer waited for Penelope.
The agony, however, came from waiting for Elena to finally speak to him.
On Christmas morning, she was completely normal. But he didn't see the light in her eyes, or the little dimple that showed up on her cheek when Elena smiled wide. While he did enjoy the entire day sitting on her couch reading, snuggled up to Ellie (Dexter wiggled his way beside him eventually), he knew something was wrong. Any evidence of the present sent by Noah Bennett completely vanished. He took a second from his book to ask Ellie what was in the present, to which Spencer learned a new trait about Lou: she was very good at changing the topic when she wanted to, in order to force a response, deviating the focus from her. Since then, she seemed to be her regular self, but Spencer saw the way she would slightly push him away (unanswered texts, missed phone calls, the appearance of excuses). He kept it out of his mind, until it happened on the fourth day of waiting, when he noticed the lack of communication between them. He saw it instantly, and knew to be worried about Elena's silent demeanour.
Her nervous tap was back.
He tried steady her hand every chance he could. He held her hand, played poker with her, asked her to bake her sugar cookies… Spencer tried everything to keep her hands occupied, to keep her busy, to buy himself some time to figure out what was happening with Ellie, and what he could do to fix it. She pushed him away from herself, physically and emotionally, and Spencer deduced the only reason that she would was to protect him from Noah (causing him to adore her more for thinking about his well-being). But protect him from what, on the other hand, Reid had no clue, which is why he asked Garcia.
He knocked on her office door, patiently waiting.
The doorknob turned.
"You know it's open."
"I thought you locked it." Spencer walked in behind her.
"Uh, yeah. I unlocked it for you."
Reid was shy in his response. "Sorry."
"Just get your butt over here." Penelope sat in her chair, going straight to her main computer. Spencer walked up behind her, watching as Garcia was hesitant to say what she had to tell him.
"Garcia?"
"Let me clarify by saying that I didn't actually find this information personally."
Spencer's eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
Penelope bit her lip. "I went snooping around the entire interweb… Nothing, zilch, no dinero, and then I thought, well, you can't hide your name unless you have help. And I knew he couldn't be CIA he sounds really British, so, I called Emily, and since Emily thinks the world of Lou, she completely helped, and…"
"He's Interpol?" Spencer asked, realizing what she was leading to.
Garcia nodded, turning to type on her keyboard. "Sir Noah Bennett, emphasis on the title, is known for being the youngest Secretary for the Cabinet in Her Majesty's Civil Service, but the really scary part about this guy is that there's four years of his life missing and it's not on Interpol, which made me hate this creature even more because how do you hide years of your life? And yes, I'm trying to figure out how he did it. Right now he's listed as a field agent."
"How is he…?" Spencer asked, knowing Garcia would catch on.
"Personally? His coworkers call him efficient, but works to his own method, which is code for he works on his own because of his attitude."
Spencer knew it. Cynical to others, thinking he's above reproach and trying to misplace blame on everyone except for himself. He could identify the type in a millisecond, knowing full well what type of personality came attached with the name Noah Bennett. He realized why Elena wasn't saying anything about her previous friend. He craved power from pain, and Lou was smart enough to not give him the satisfaction. He felt an ache within his chest, realizing the burden Ellie was carrying. She was hiding a whole other side of her that was devastating, and she didn't want Spencer near any of it. The doctor took a step towards the door, comprehending Elena's mindset. She was afraid, scared out of her mind. It wasn't because she was afraid of Noah hurting her.
Lou was afraid Noah would hurt Spencer.
"Reid?"
Garcia pulled him from his thoughts, noticing how she looked scared for him. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Spencer said softly. "Just checking up on something."
"Don't do that." Penelope walked up to Spencer, looking at him directly. She knew Reid long enough to sense when his voice wavered. "Don't try hiding who he is, because you should know that I know who he is, and not just his credentials, but the fact that him and Lou were in a relationship that ended seven years ago after a horrible car accident-"
"Wait." Reid stopped her. "Garcia, did you say a car accident?"
"Yeah. It came up as a bookmark in his report." Penelope looked at Spencer, recognizing the look of distress and confusion on Spencer's face. "Did Lou tell you about it?"
"No. She's not saying anything on the subject." He mumbled.
Garcia rubbed her lips together, deciding whether or not to tell Spencer more information on the accident. It wasn't like Penelope purposely searched up Lou's past. When Emily sent her Sir Bennett's file, Garcia wasn't aware of the three year relationship that went on between Elena and Noah. She saw the personal records, the few pictures on file, and the phone records on file. Her heart dropped the second she saw the phone records after the accident. Noah called her almost a hundred times a day (at minimum). Eventually, she saw the calls die down to once every year, the most recent one being December fourth. She wouldn't admit it, but she was scared for Lou. Even though she knew Elena could take care of herself, Penelope still worried about the highly-trained Interpol agent who was obsessed with Lou.
"Spencer," Penelope was anxious in her response. "Just… If you're not going to tell me what's going on, at least tell me that you'll be careful."
"I am being careful." Spencer said with confidence.
"Did he hurt her?" Penny was reluctant to ask.
"I don't know." He whispered gravely.
"But why are you going after him?"
She looked at him, seeing how his frantic eyes were being purposefully hidden.
"I have to keep her safe."
That was the only piece of information Spencer chose to keep with Penelope, turning to leave the office before his friend could talk him out of anything. Garcia tried to shout towards Reid, but as she watched his retreating form, she thought better of it. Her sixth sense was screaming out to her, telling her something was seriously wrong with the universe. Penelope turned to grab her tablet before heading to the round table, concern written all over her face. She just wanted to make sure her babies were okay, and the anxiety in her chest stemmed out to her Lucy Lou as well.
A thought popped into her head, and before she could think otherwise, she let herself search up the name Caroline Chandler, quickly figuring out a way to calm down her bundle of nerves.
"Please let everything be okay. Please let everything be okay."
[ + ]
"Go ahead, Garcia."
"Alright, Ladies and Gents, we are heading to sunny California, but not to see any delicious Hollywood hunks. Three victims were all found in backways and alleys, the most recent victim, Milos Konchovski, was found covered in soot, or smoke, I'm not sure. Anyways, he was last seen working at the Drunk Donkey, vanishing into thin air after the waitress left for the night."
"He died from asphyxiation caused by smoke inhalation." Spencer mentioned, avoiding Garcia's concern stare burning a hole at the back of his head.
"Would explain the smoke covering their entire bodies." Kate mumbled, staring at the pictures in front of her. Not even thirty, Kate thought as she looked at the last picture of Milos.
"The unsub was strong enough to subdue him." Derek added, turning the photo towards the group. "The medical examiner said he was in a confined space. I'm thinking renovated room designed to torture each victim through an aerosol form."
"Like the unsub who chloroformed his victims in the back seat of his taxi." JJ mentioned.
"The M.E. also found ligature marks on one of the victims around the neck, but the weapon is unknown." Garcia added, shifting the pictures on the screen with the remote.
Aaron looked at the file in front of him. "Besides the ligature marks, all the other victims were found in a similar manner?"
"Right, my Captain. Andrew Tavish and Lyla van Austin were also found covered in soot from head to toe, just like poor Milos, and they were also found three days after the last time he was seen."
David pointed to the screen. "The first victim worked on an oil rig, the second was an international buyer for a very fancy clothing line, and the third victim owned his own bar… Victimology is random, but he's too methodical for the victims to not have an underlying connection."
Garcia sat down in her chair. "Which I will find out as soon as my fingers fly."
"The Santa Monica Police Department has asked that we head the investigation, so let's close this case as soon as we can for them." Hotch closed the files in front of him. "Wheels up in thirty."
The entire group stood from their seats, causing Penelope to frantically search for Spencer through her teammates blocking her line of vision. Reid must have known what she was thinking, as the doctor was the first person to leave the room to grab his go bag. Garcia sadly peered out the window, staring at the worried Spencer with her own feeling of dread building inside her. She wanted to help in any way she could, but knew it was going to be difficult if neither Lou nor Spencer wanted their help.
"Baby." Derek called out, catching on to Garcia's concern. "Something wrong?"
Penelope smiled tightly, resting her hand on Morgan's bicep. "Nothing that my big, strong bar of chocolate can't take care of when he needs to."
He wasn't buying Garcia's dismissing tone. "You sure I can't take care of your something now?"
She saw Spencer through the window, grabbing his bag, a scarf peeking out from underneath the flap of leather while he hurried towards the glass doors. She could have sworn she saw his fingers slightly pinch the beige material as he waited for the elevator.
"It's not my something to take care of."
[ + ]
Lou wasn't able to focus.
She was sitting at her desk, enjoying the room to herself. Yet, the file sitting in front of her wasn't enough to draw her away from her thoughts. Noah plagued her mind every possible second while Elena tried desperately to think of anything else. She spent years avoiding topics that made her uncomfortable (courtesy of her inheriting it from her stubborn father), but Noah wasn't something she could avoid, especially since the bastard weaselled his way back into her life. He resembled a flesh-eating disease that devoured anything and everything in sight. Not allowing her to partially work (and partially think of Spencer) made Lou not only extremely uncomfortable, but absolutely furious that she allowed Noah into her life again.
The fear and discomfort turned into shame and angst when she thought of Spencer. She was distant with him the past few weeks, partially due to the emotional turmoil going on within her. Noah was now in her life again, destroying any semblance of happiness within her. But Spencer? Spencer was the reason for all that happiness, and if Noah got to Spencer, he would diminish that light within her favourite doctor, and Lou knew she would never be able to recover from that.
Which is why she was distancing herself from the one person she wanted to be closer with. Ellie knew once she got rid of Noah (she did it once before), Spencer would be safe, or he would be safe to the best of her abilities. Spencer was too important to her to let him go, yet the situation she was in put Lou between two very hard evils. She knew, in the bottom of her heart, something was going to happen to the Doctor if she allowed that monster who once controlled her, controlled Spencer (and Noah had enough connections to control people).
The sheer thought of Noah getting to Spencer caused Lou to throw the file in her hand onto the tabletop, covering her face with her hands. The anxiety within her made her want to scream, to explode, to swing her bat at something (preferably a certain someone), before running to the nearest corner in the fetal position (or Spencer's arms if he happened to forgive her for being so cold towards him). She hated, more than anything, how Noah got under her skin so easily. Bennett knew how Lou was when it came to items with high sentimental value, and he hit the sweet spot perfectly.
Like the bloody sniper he is, and if he so much as aims towards Spencer-
"I've seen that look."
Elena pulled her head from her hands, confusion on her face when Agent Tucker was sitting in the chair in front of her, on the other side of her desk. She watched Tucks lean forward in her chair, inspecting Lou. "What's up?"
Ellie sighed. "The usual. Work, eat, watch my life fall into a tailspin."
Angela snorted. "Then I've definitely seen that look before."
Lou bit her lip, wondering whether or not to seek help from Agent Tucker.
"You can keep your privacy private if that's what you prefer."
That earned a half-hearted chuckle from the professor. "I'm not sure I could tell you everything without falling to bits."
"Then tell someone, Lou." Angela's smile gave Elena a bit of comfort. "It may not be me, but make sure you tell someone before you explode."
She nodded, choosing not to respond to Tucks' statement. "Thank you."
"Anytime." The bosslady stood from her seat. "Anything on the mortgage fraud?"
"Nothing new, but Monroe did say he had a lead."
"Let me know if you need a hand." Agent Tucker gave Lou a warm smile before heading down the hallway. Ellie watched Angela head down the hallway, having her own smile spread on her face. Angela Tucker was a thoughtful human being, and Lou appreciated people who took the time to care for others. She felt calmer after talking with her boss, finding comfort in Angela's words. Opening another file on the desk, she stared at the words, hoping that she was able to process the information on the pages. Lou was finally able to focus on the case when she was pulled away from her work by the sound of her phone vibrating.
Toto – Text Message
'DBMCG MSGD U?!'
Lou stared at the message in confusion, until she decoded what Caroline sent her ('Douchebag McGee messaged you?!'). She hit the 'call' button, placing the phone to her ear. Ellie didn't have to wait long for her best friend to answer the other end of the line.
"Do you know how a phone works?"
She knew what Linnie meant by that. "Caroline-"
"Let me rephrase. Do you know what a phone is?"
"Is it the thing where you press buttons and you can magically talk to people?"
"Yes, and you should know what a phone does, especially since that fucker called you."
Lou sat straighter in her seat, realizing the reason she was calling her friend. "How do you know? I haven't even told my mother, and that woman has a megaphone for a voice box."
"Someone by the name of Penelope Garcia left me a message on my internal server, which would have caused me to send a disastrous virus to her system had I not opened the message to see a full dossier on Noah, and a concerned message asking to call you."
Elena still didn't understand how, out of all people, Penelope was the one to inform Caroline of the situation with Noah. There were two people to know of Noah's existence, and JJ promised to keep Lou's secret a secret as long as she could. She knew right away who told Penelope about Noah. Her epiphany hit her when she remembered the only other person with an eidetic memory, who only found out Noah's name by seeing the gift sitting on her porch, who was in the same room with the gift for a moment, who (even though he was unashamedly drunk) would easily remember seeing a name on the top of a card, being able to recall it to ask Penelope who was Noah Bennett.
"Spencer," Lou whispered to herself.
"What about Mister Adorkable?"
She shook her head, trying to rid of the clutter building up in the rooms of her mansion. "I just figured something out."
"Uh-huh. That doesn't sound like a good something."
Lou huffed in frustration. She knew Caroline would find out all the information eventually.
"Noah didn't message me." She confessed. "He sent me a Christmas present."
The pause on the other side of the line was Caroline being speechless.
"The locket?"
"The book."
The second pause on the other side of the line was Caroline gathering her rage.
"He destroyed it?"
"Ripped out all the pages before chemically removing the ink."
"…I'll hang him by his toes."
Ellie smirked, bitter. "I might let you this time."
"You're okay, though, right?"
The professor stared at the beige wall, trying to rationalize how the clenching feeling deep in her stomach was her anxiety getting the better of her. She knew that trying to figure out what Noah's plans were was like walking on glass barefoot and blindfolded. It was a stupid idea to begin with, and only resulted in Elena hurting herself. However, Elena didn't care about her pain. All she cared about was a tall, scraggly, doe-eyed doctor who loved holding her hand just as much as she loved holding his. Even though they knew each other for such a short amount of time, Spencer was very important to her. So much so that she ignored her own emotions to prioritize the safety of her favourite doctor. Noah was a dangerous person, and he'd have to walk over her corpse before he got to Spencer.
That was if Lou didn't make Noah into a corpse first.
"I'm okay."
She heard Caroline snort. "Next time, try to sound more convincing."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"I'm coming over tonight, so you have no excuses. You, Me, and Sam and Dean."
It was the first time in two weeks Lou really smiled. "I'll have the Twix ready."
"And I'll bring the Snickers. Later, idiot."
Lou smiled at her best friend's voice, secretly happy Caroline reached out to her. It wasn't as if Lou purposefully avoided Linnie; Elena was the type of person to forget she had to communicate with people in order to keep some form of a relationship. She was attempting to place her phone in her purse before she was interrupted by her screen lighting up, Spencer's smile distracting her from any train of thought she had in that moment. That pit in her stomach grew throughout her body. Her fingers were numb as they clutched the pink device tightly. Her chest ached to the point Lou thought the organ beating its way out of her sternum would actually fall out. She didn't like the thought of ignoring Spencer's call (the thought made her extremely uncomfortable), but he was a distraction to her, and Lou couldn't afford a distraction.
She pressed the 'ignore' option, hiding her phone in the bottom of her bag, attempting to shove the looming presence of guilt along with the electronic device (that conveniently had Spencer's face on it).
[ + ]
He was officially worried.
The team was supposed to land in another two hours, and Spencer didn't know how to spend those two hours without thinking about Elena. It was the seventh phone call she avoided (Ellie usually took four to eleven seconds to answer the telephone if he was calling, and she answered almost always). He hated how she was pulling away from him. But what worried Spencer was that she didn't come to him for help. Elena was exactly like him, in the sense that they were both forced to deal with their own problems on their own for the majority of their lives, causing it to be difficult to ask for help. Even though he could understand the motives for her actions, he was still worried for Elena (and a bit frustrated that she was closing herself off from him).
"Spence."
JJ brought him out of his thoughts, causing him to make eye contact with the profiler.
"Everything okay? You and Lou seem a bit… off."
It is an eternal struggle to keep a secret away from profilers.
He knew not to lie to Jennifer. Somehow, he could tell that she had an understanding of the situation between the doctor and the professor, and was waiting for the right moment for Reid to spill the beans.
"How much do you know?" He didn't try playing coy.
JJ took a breath. "Not much. But I do know that Lou has a problem that goes by the name of Noah."
Spencer tried to hide his anger at the mention of Sir Bennett.
"She thinks she can handle it on her own."
"I'm sure she can," JJ said with confidence. "But it wouldn't hurt to let her know you'll be there for her when she needs you to be."
That confused Reid. "Elena already knows that. She knows if she needs help, I can help her."
Jennifer smiled. "Have you told her?"
It was an unusual idea to Reid. Elena knew everything he was thinking just by the smallest action. It was the same way with him. One day, they were standing in the middle of her kitchen, Spencer eagerly watching Lou as she gathered all the ingredients to bake her sugar cookies. He realized, as Ellie placed the butter on the counter, she kept the flour on the top shelf in the cabinet that was placed over the doorway to the kitchen. Elena glanced over to the spot twice, before scanning the room. Spencer saw there wasn't a stool, or chair in sight. Before Ellie turned to grab the butter, Spencer walked straight to the cabinet. He wondered why there would be a cabinet in a potentially dangerous position overhead, pulling the right cabinet door (Ellie was right handed), grabbing the large bag of flour. He turned to see Lou laughing. Before he could ask what she thought was funny, Elena said, "I was about to ask you to grab the flour for me."
Ever since then, the flour was always the first ingredient on the counter.
"We understand each other."
He wasn't expect JJ to correct him.
"You need to tell her, Spence. Say it out loud, so she can actually hear you." JJ leaned in, her voice soft (Spencer knew Jennifer enough to hear the sharp edge beneath her tone). "You need to communicate. Yes, I may not be an over-achieving genius like the two of you, but I do know people. And people like to hear other know that they'll always be there."
Spencer looked at JJ, trying to hide his pain. "She's the one not communicating."
He shut Aristotle's Organon as JJ leaned back in her seat, at a loss for words Reid wandered within the winding paths of his mind, beginning to realize that Lou distancing herself was an unknown cry for help (he was trying to avoid the parallels between Maeve and Elena). He knew if he wasn't there to see the present given to Ellie, he would have never known about it. He would have never been able to remember the name Noah Bennett, or figure out that he was a dangerous person to be around. Ellie needed his help. But she wouldn't give him the chance. All because she cared about him too much for him to be in Noah's line of sight.
But this type of caring had a word to it.
No, he thought, feeling the burning sensation surge through his chest in agony. He couldn't allow himself to have this feeling again. I can't do this. He felt like he was losing Ellie: the person who always understood why he chose to stay quiet for hours, listened to every statistic he had buried in the confines of his mind, laughed at his jokes because she actually thought they were funny, watched Doctor Who together, read together, translated centuries old literature together (Spencer's favourite was when Elena read The Hunchback of Notre Dame in French while simultaneously reading out to Spencer in English with the same, vivid tone she was most likely reading in), doing everything together in harmony. Because they were always together, regardless of the geographical distance between them (he had a pashmina scarf to keep as company when he was far away from her).
Spencer hated that feeling, of feeling so close to someone while being so far away. He felt that when he was reading The Sign of Four in the phone booth, when nervously tapped his foot beside the payphone, when he was anxiously smoothing his tie in the restaurant. Maeve brought out that feeling within him, the dreaded "L" word that Spencer desperately tried to avoid. He was successful, until Elena found a way to bring the word out in a different light. The feelings he had for Maeve and Lou were significantly different from one another, but each connection brought out the overwhelming concern and affection within him. He loved talking to Maeve on those precious Sundays, but he never had to the chance to physically be with her.
Not like Lou, who was often curled at the end of the couch with Spencer's feet tangled with hers. Or using the couch as a back rest when the two were sitting on his living room floor eating biryani and butter chicken while speaking of their research in their chosen field (or in Spencer's case, fields). But when Elena fell asleep on his shoulder after watching Hocus Pocus (finally), he didn't dare to move her, not with her so close to him, with her hand in his. Not when she, somehow, found her way beside him any possible chance. Lou snuck her way into his open wound under his sternum, and he welcomed her with open arms. Reid knew of the horrible pain of losing the one person he always wanted to be with, only this time, Lou made it different. Because he knew of how good it felt to be beside Lou.
The thought jolted his open chest again.
He couldn't lose Ellie.
Not after losing Maeve.
"JJ?"
Jennifer looked away from the window, seeing the set jaw on Spencer's face.
"Yes?"
"I need your help."
She smiled at Spencer, happy to help her friend in any way, especially with matters of the heart.
He's finally figuring it out.
[ + ]
Lou was weeping.
But Caroline was bawling.
This scene gets me every time, Lou thought to herself as she struggled to see the television through her tears. She hated the season five finale, but always forced herself to watch it for how wonderful it was. The second Chuck spoke of the Impala, and the history behind it, Lou was already emotional. Here she was, a full grown woman, being emotionally distraught about a television show. Was it a way to release all her anxiety as well? Possibly, but Elena knew Supernatural was a fantastic distraction when it came to avoiding… well, avoiding her life.
"Sammy… It's okay, it's okay, I'm here. I'm here, I'm not going to leave you."
"Oh, Jesus Christ." Caroline grabbed the sides of her face, a few more tears escaping. "I can't physically do this again."
"Shh!" Lou hushed her, earning a light smack on the shoulder from her best friend.
The two women watched the television eagerly, both knowing the outcome (yet still keeping their eyes glued to the screen). Both Linnie and Lou loved every second of the television show, even after watching each episode at least forty times.
"It's okay, Dean. I've got him."
"No, I can't." Lou got up from her seat, walking into her kitchen. "If I watch Dean's heartbroken face one more time I am ripping my eyeballs out."
"Relax, I'm fast-forwarding to your husband." Caroline waited until Castiel was on the screen before resuming the show. "While you're in the kitchen, can you get me another beer?"
"Just as long as you're sleeping here." Lou called out, grabbing two bottles in her hand.
Linnie smiled at her. "If I'm sleeping over, might as well bring out the vodka."
"No, thank you." Lou watched as Dean went back to Lisa. "My liver is preparing itself for a P.G.N.O. next week."
"…Is that a type of medical procedure?" Caroline asked.
Lou shook her head. "I'll need one after it though."
"Oh, as in a night out on the town." The redhead looked at her sister with a wide grin. "Elena Lucille Richardson, are you planning to get shit-faced drunk at a bar?"
"I'm not, but my co-worker Penelope is. Feel free to crash."
Caroline snorted. "You're giving me the opportunity to record you singing I'll Never Break Your Heart consecutively for four hours?"
"That's a yes?"
"That's a hell fucking yes."
Lou rolled her eyes at the woman beside her, taking a sip of her beer. Her phone vibrated against the coffee table, disturbing the playful mood the two ladies were in. Before Elena could grab a hold of her mobile, Linnie snatched the pink device from its spot, glancing at the screen. Lou heard Caroline's squeal, realizing the reason for Linnie's squeal.
"Lou, you are the cutest human being in the world. Personalizing your boyfriend's name, how adorable of you. Don't give me that look, he is your boyfriend and you can't tell me otherwise. Ooh, picture is to die for, and you changed his name. You've only changed the name for people that are important to you. And of all the characters to choose from, you choose-"
"Caroline, give me my phone." Lou was stern, watching as Spencer's caller ID was still on the screen."You're leaving it unanswered."
Linnie raised one of her eyebrows with skepticism. "You weren't going to in the first place, so no. I'm keeping the phone."
Elena forgot how well Caroline could read her, watching her phone screen turn black.
"Look, Rocky, I understand that your priorities are shifting, and that I'll be put on the back burner. That's okay, you rarely get some action so I'm just going to accept the fact that I am going to come second to your nerdy fantasies of having Spencer make sweet passionate love to you against a bookshelf-" Lou tried to speak but Caroline wouldn't let up "-which is okay because you need to pay me back for all the times I've shagged a guy instead of spending the day with you."
"Is there a point to your very graphic description of my primal instincts?"
"Well, the fact you haven't denied my statement means you actually have thought of Spencer and you in that position, which would mean your connection with him is strong enough to even consider the possibility of sex, yet you don't want to talk to him about the most traumatic thing to happen to you?"
Lou shifted, not correcting her. Linnie straightened her posture, noticing Ellie's lack of response spoke louder than anything she could have said.
"Do you consider something more with him, Lou? Is that why you're holding back?"
Elena's gaze shifted down, afraid she wouldn't hold her emotions.
"It's just… He…" Lou clenched her hand in a fist when she felt her finger working its favourite pattern. "He's the only person to listen to my favourite parts about my favourite books, and always makes sure that Dexter has food in his bowl, and he gets the flour from the top cabinet without even asking. He makes sure that everything I worry about is taken care of, and you know how much of a worrier I can be. He makes sure that I'm happy, no matter what he has to do. I just want to pay him back."
"Will this make him happy? With you pulling away from him?"
Lou shook her head, knowing Caroline was right.
"I don't want Noah to win."
Caroline took Elena's hand, placing the phone in Lou's palm.
"If you let yourself think that pulling away from Spencer is the right thing, then Noah does win."
The tears collected once again in Lou's eyes, but not from her favourite television show.
"Tell him. It doesn't have to be tonight." Caroline encouraged. "But don't wait too long, alright?"
Elena nodded, wiping her tears away. "Okay."
"And Lou?"
"Yeah?"
"When you do eventually open up, tell him what Noah did." Linnie's tone was serious.
Lou stared at her best friend, not believing the words Caroline said.
"Are you serious? I can't!"
"No, you won't, because you're holding back, like always."
She tried to open her mouth, but Linnie shook her head at her. "Spencer is unbelievably smart, and that Penelope Garcia is good at her job. They already know who he is, and sooner or later they'll figure out about what happened just after the accident-"
"I understand." Lou cut off Caroline before she could speak further. "It's better to hear it from me than find out on their own."
Linnie winked, turning back towards the television to focus on the show. But Elena couldn't focus on her favourite hunter as she kept falling back to what happened during that horrible accident. She remembered the other car's horn ringing through her ears. The glass dug into the sides of her thighs, the lights blinded her, the seatbelt pinned her to the seat. Yet the one thing she remembered the most was the smell of Noah's cologne lingering over her as he leaned in close to her as she was falling in and out of consciousness.
Lou stared at the television, her hand ghosting over the scar on her face she received the same night of the accident, knowing sooner or later, Spencer was going to figure out the truth.
Whether or not she told him.
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Next Time: "A go bag? Why would I need a go bag?"