AN- I'm so, so, so, so sorry about the delay. This chapter has been written for awhile and was with Rietta, but sadly, Rietta couldn't find the time to beta the chapter, so as a joint decision, we decided I would find another beta. So...

A huge, huge THANK YOU to Quiet Time, who has taken on the challenge, this chapter is for you.

Chapter updates: 22-30 are written on paper, so will hopefully get some time to type them up ASAP and hopefully get back on to a schedule with the story now :)

Let me know what you think, and thank you for being so patient, it means a lot!

Chapter 21- I could talk all night, just to hear you breathe.

Japan was warm. Always so warm; that Jack actually found himself missing Wales. Well, not so much Wales but the Welsh. For some reason, since his conversation with Dr Tanazaki he had taken on a totally new perception of life. He didn't want to waste anymore time. Perhaps it was time to stop chewing over old grievances and bite the bullet instead. When he got back he would talk with Ianto. They would have a chance to work things out, at least salvage their friendship. He nodded to himself and smiled a little sadly, he could do friends.

It was on a Monday night on the 11th October, around one thirty in the morning when Jack stumbled into the flat. He'd spend the better part of the day on the phone to Sarah Jane trying to organise everything for the rest of the year, and spent the evening arguing with the finance department over the budget expenditure forms. He knew were he stood with the project and it had been a terribly bad day. He was tired, so tired and drained and fed up that there was only one way he would get any rest tonight. Not really thinking, he changed into his favourite navy blue sweat pants and a bottle green hoody that had belonged to Ianto, before curling up under the covers and grabbing his mobile off the bedside table and hit speed dial two.

The phone rang several times before a confused welsh voice rang out. "Jack?"

The aforementioned American stayed silent, both because he was unsure of what to say and also because lately, when he and Ianto had talked, they had argued and he didn't want that, not tonight. Despite Ianto's dramatic apology just before he'd boarded the plane to Japan at the airport, Jack still hadn't fully forgiven him. But he needed Ianto in his life, sometimes more than he cared to admit.

"Jack! Hello? Can you hear me? Yoohoo Jack! OI, Gorgeous! I'm in your pocket! Hello! Can you..." Ianto's voice trailed off "...wait a minute...isn't it like 2am there?... Jack, please answer me..."

Still the American stayed silent but there was a soft smile on his face that faded as Ianto talked.

"You've bloody sleep dialled me haven't you?... Course you have." Ianto sighed "I guess you're having nice dreams, you're not screaming into the night so that's a good thing. " the Welshman paused then he seemed to gather steam. "You know, I never knew how much I'd miss you when you were gone, how much I'd miss you're smile, how much your laugher lit up my world. Yet, you've been gone from Wales a month and I miss you like you've been gone forever. I know I don't have any right to miss you though; I've lain awake in bed, so many times and wondered if there was a way I could go back in time and do anything to make sure that I didn't fuck it all up. God...Jack, I treated you like crap, I'm hardly surprised that you left... I knew you could never cheat on me and yet I threw it in your face time and time again... you must hate me I mean I hurt you so much! If you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me, please. I love you-" Ianto broke off and Jack was aware of the stifled sobs that the Welshman was fighting back "-I never wanted to hurt you...but I did, god what do I do without you... I'm so scared Jack. Yet I know I don't deserve your forgiveness."

The Welshman stopped speaking for a moment, so sure he had heard a snuffle on the other end of the phone. "Jack? Are you awake?" the Welshman waited a few moments, before deciding that it was his hopeful imagination and continuing on. "This must be costing you a fortune." This time, he knew he'd heard the soft cough that was muffled but he'd recognise Jacks soft cries wherever and no matter how many miles were between them. He felt his own hot, tears of regret fill his own eyes and took a shaky breath. "You are awake then. Or half-awake, I suppose. You probably won't even remember this tomorrow, but what the hell. Maybe it'll help anyway." He took another long, shaky breath. "Don't cry, Cariad. Please don't cry; It'll be okay. You need to keep smiling, and being my big, strong, beautiful, gorgeous, handsome man. With your amazing sense of humour, willingness to learn and help people, the way you can just speak to someone who's in a bad mood and cheer them right back up. How many times have you done it for me in the past? Made me smile with just a random little ditty or a wink. You have so much to offer in life Jack. Don't let something like this break your spirit, it's too precious to everyone around you for that. To precious to the world. To me, but please, don't do it for me...do it for yourself."

Jack tried to choke back the sobs but he knew Ianto had heard him by the way the Welshman, himself was crying. But he wanted-no he needed him to keep talking, he needed to know what else the Welshman, now sobbing openly, would say.

"Jack, you listen to me, I'm not daft enough to expect you to forgive me right away, I know you need time. Need space. Hell, I need space and time to accept and deal with what I have put you through; you deserve so much better than me and I know you'll find it. I respect that we both need the space, but in the long run, I want...actually no, I need you in my life. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend, than not in my life at all. I need you there, my life wouldn't be right without you in it in some way."

Jack's pillow was damp with tears and he could feel a headache forming in his temples, but he listened. , Ianto's voice was growing hoarse from the crying and the amount of talking. Jack noted that the time on his phone was ticking away the minutes, so far, they'd been on the phone for over twenty minutes and he still hadn't said anything. But god, he hated working in Japan, it was the worst project SSLS had ever come up with, it made no sense at all, none.

"Listen, Jack. I have a little confession. Okay, I figure it might make you smile because I can't stand it when you cry. You left for Japan a month ago. For the first week I didn't pick up an iron, I wore creased shirts to work, but then Hartman got on my back about appearance so I had to resort to ironing. However, I continued my rebellion, I haven't worn a pair of matching socks since you left the apartment. And don't get me started on the rugs! The poor hoover doesn't now what's happened to it, it's not been used for a two weeks either. I think it thinks I've died and here's the best bit! There's dishes in the sink that have been there since Saturday! Saturday Jack!"

Jack bit the inside of his cheek to hide back the snort of amusement. "I never wanted to turn you into a slob, bean. Just not have you jump down my throat about it after fifteen minutes." his own voice was croaky with the suppressed sobs.

There was silence for a moment. "Jack?"

The American chuckled "Who else?"

"Why didn't you speak up earlier, I mean, I've just made a complete fool of myself."

"Have you? For once, I was able to actually understand and hear what you were thinking rather than have you hide it from me...I dunno, I think if you'd spoken like that when we were together, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

"Oh, so it's all my fault is it? That we're practically unfixable..."

"Well, you could have just asked me...but then, my word was never completely reliable was it now?"

"You know that's not how it was."

"Do I? You feel like you've made a fool of yourself because you've actually opened up a bit...I reckon that's exactly how it is."

There was silence on the other end of the phone and Jack pulled his own phone away from his ear, prepared for the crash as Ianto hung up, , when Ianto spoke again, quietly.

"I know I need to change..."

"Not that drastically though. You wouldn't be the man I fell for if you did."

Ianto chuckled "I figure I better go to the extreme. It's one of he things I always lov-liked about you."

"You know it's okay to say you love me, don't you? It hasn't stopped you before."

He heard the Welshman sigh "I know, I guess it's just different now that I know you're fully awake and not just having weird dreams or asleep."

"You know I've been awake the whole time, right? I just- I needed to hear your voice, bean."

The Welshman smiled and felt his heart flutter and the nickname. "Is that a hint that I should call your voicemail and leave you something to replay whenever you feel down?"

"Ah, I think that would depend on what kind of message you were planning to leave. But I'm sure we can come up with an ideal agreement"

Ianto blinked, "I suppose I could leave you a list of all the housework that I haven't been doing."

"Ooo tempting Jones, Ianto Jones."

"Or I could leave you a message telling you how amazing you are?"

"Now that would give me a big ego, let's avoid ego inflating for now."

"Damn, I'm flush out of idea's."

"Shocking, I thought you had an answer for everything."

"Who me?"

"Yup." Jack smiled softly at the familiar banter. Banter was the thread their relationship hung from. A constant. Always there, providing them both with relief especially during the hard times.

"I do have one other idea, but it's highly inappropriate."

"Ianto Jones, are you propositioning me?"

"Me? Nope." Ianto popped the 'P' and chuckled.

"God, I've missed this."

"What? Talking to me?"

Jack laughed. "Yes actually, just talking, no arguing, or really thinking, just me and you, in this room, on the phone, for as long as it takes."

"Oh...well, I have to tell you, Jack, I got shivers down my spine."

"You don't sound like it."

"It passed."

"Cheeky sod."

"It's why you..." unsure of how to finish the sentence, Ianto trailed off. But he needn't have worried.

"why I love you, yes, I know."

They lay in a comfortable silence, just listening to each others breathing for awhile, taking comfort in each others presence, even if it was over thousands of miles.

"You should try and get some sleep, Cariad."

"I know." Jack spoke, his voice barely a whisper as Ianto's breathing and voice carried him gently to sleep.

"I meant everything I said earlier, Jack. You know that...right?"

"Me too."

"I love you, Jack Franklin Harkness-Jones." Ianto's voice came out the phone, "Don't you forget that."

"I forgive you." Jack whispered as he heard the dialling tone echo from the phone.