Don't say a word

Just come over and lie here with me

'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see

I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe

There I just said it

I'm scared you'll forget about me.

"Edge of Desire"
~John Mayer~

The week that followed the god awful article about my boozing it up and being heartbroken was one of the weirdest I'd ever had.
Everyone had sympathetic words for me, as if my heart had seriously been crushed by Edward. When I tried explaining it was my birthday party and that there was no broken heart caused by anyone, I'd get the sympathetic hug or pat on the back. As if I were in denial. My dad was ready to jail every last person holding a camera outside the shop and my house. But they weren't truly breaking any laws. They kept a respectable distance; didn't come into my driveway after I asked them not to. They just wanted more story, which they weren't getting, and were quickly learning that Bella Swan has a very boring normal life.

I really didn't care who it was that said I was a lush with a broken heart. There are much, much worse things that someone could have printed about me. I knew I wasn't either of those things, and the people who I cared about most knew those things weren't true. That's all that mattered.

I'd been at work since about three in the afternoon, it was going on eleven and my feet were starting to ache. We still had at least another before close and another half hour or so close up after that.

Alice had gone home earlier with a headache leaving Paul and I to tend to the crowd for the night.

I had just set three beers on the counter for a customer when Paul sidled up next to me.

"Just so you know, Bella, I'd be more than willing to help you get over that broken heart." His eyebrows wagged at me as his hip bumped me.

"Right, Paul." I laughed. The guys had been giving me a hard time all week, all in good fun. "I think I'm too depressed over the whole thing." I rolled my eyes and wiped down the bar.

"I can fix that too." He grinned and wandered down toward a few female customers that had been keeping him busy for the last hour.

I was really glad that my friends hadn't acted weird around me. Other than each of them letting me know they hadn't said anything to the paps. I think for the most part they were all amused by the hype and thought the whole idea of Bella with a broken heart was absurd.

When I got home that night and made my way to the front door, I couldn't see anyone outside waiting for a photo op, perhaps they all got bored and ran off to find a real story. On my doorstep though was a single white calla lily. No note, no nothing, just the flower. I stared down at it for a long minute before the hairs on the back of my neck prickled in awareness. I turned and looked around, but could see no one.

My damn imagination was getting out of fucking control. I reached down for the flower and my phone buzzed in my pocket at the same time. I screamed, jumped and fell into the door.

"Mother fucker."

If there was anyone who wanted embarrassing pictures or movies of me, that would have been the best one by far.

I grabbed for the flower and thrust my key into the front door, twisting the knob I fell through the entry. I was clearly going to be labeled an alcoholic if anyone caught this amazing show of my ability to trip over a flat surface.

I sat on the floor, my back against the door, I reached one hand up and twisted the lock and tried to catch my breath.

I dug my phone from my pocket and clicked it on.

Dur - Thinking of you.

Followed up with a photo of paper Starbucks cup.

Asshole! Of course it would be him that made me scream and nearly knock myself out.

Bird - Jesus, Dur. You about gave me a damn heart attack. Thanks to the performance I just gave at the front door, people are going to seriously believe I have a drinking problem.

Dur - I'm sorry to have caused an issue, Bird. What's going on over there?

I glanced over at the lone flower, now tattered, lying by my left foot.

Bird - Nothing really. I had found this flower by my door and my imagination ran away with me and right about that same time, my phone started buzzing and making noise.

Dur - A flower?

Bird - You jealous, Dur? ;P

Dur - Maybe.

I grinned and gathered myself up off the floor, made my way to my bedroom and kicked off my shoes.
I groaned when I realized it was already one in the morning and made my way to the bathroom, turning on the hot water I let the tub fill with bubbles. I stripped out of my clothes and tentatively stuck a toe in to test the water.

"Fucking perfect." I sunk deep into the warm cocoon and twisted my hair onto the top of my head.

Dur - You alive over there, or did I lose you to the sleep gods?

I laughed softly and dried my hands on a small towel.

Bird - I am in the tub.

Dur - Don't fuck with me, Bella.

I snapped a picture of my toes peeking out of the bubbles and sent it to him.

Dur - Jesus. Do you know what you do to me?

Bird - I have an idea.

Dur - No. I really don't think you do, Bella.

I sploshed around for a little longer until the water became cold, then toweled off and dressed for bed.

Bird - Time for lights out. It's been a long day.

Dur - Hang on a moment, please.

Bird - Hanging.

I laid in bed in the dark for what felt like forever waiting for him to message me back. Ten minutes later my phone chimed and I looked down.

"Oh my god." I whispered and scrambled to sit up. He had sent a video.

With a shaky finger, I tapped the screen and Edward came to life. He had an acoustic guitar and was sitting in a chair from his dining room. He smiled once at the camera and then began to sing. I listened with rapt attention. Holding my breath when the words of the next verse poured from his lips.

"Steady my breathing, silently screaming, I have to have you now. Wired and I'm tired think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor. Or maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours."

His voice was rough and his fingers moved gracefully over each note of the song. My heart was thumping so heavy in my chest I thought I'd never get it to beat normally again. When he finished the song, he set the guitar down and smiled again.

"Goodnight, Bella." He leaned into the camera to hit stop and his face filled the final frame.

I stared at the screen for a long time. Gone was the beard scruff and in its place was a gloriously rough looking five o'clock shadow. His lips curled at one side in a crooked smile that made me squirm as the memory of his kiss danced through my head. His hair was shorter, must have gotten a cut, it looked as though he'd been running his hands through it though because it was a manic mess.

Without a second thought, I saved the video to my phone and laid back down under the covers. My heart was still galloping wildly and I knew I wasn't going to sleep any time soon.

Bird - I didn't know you could sing like that, Edward. Thank you. I loved it.

Dur - My pleasure, Bella. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I flipped the light on next to my bed, quickly turned the phone on myself, puckered up and threw the bird for a picture.

Bird - Sweet dreams, Dur.

Dur - lol Thank you for the photograph, Bird. Too kind. Sleep well.

xOx

I knew that to keep Bella from completely freaking out, I'd have to move slowly. Take things one tiny baby step at a time and accept what she was willing to give without pushing for more. But I was getting to the point where I was ready to push. If she wanted to keep playing silly games, fine, but she would play them with me much closer.

I paused halfway across my office and was greeted by a fresh cup of coffee from Angela.

"Thank you, Angela. You're a lifesaver." I leaned in and kissed her cheek once. "Have you heard anything yet from Washington? Perhaps someone's squealed?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Cullen." She jotted down a note in the folder she was holding. "We're working on it though and Mr. Whitlock called a while ago and spoke with Emmett."

I felt a tension headache starting in back of my skull and pressing down at my neck and shoulders.

"I'm going to hit the gym for an hour or two." I nodded up at Angela. "You okay here?"

"Perfectly fine." She smiled and reached for her phone as it rang, exiting my office.

...

After an hour in the weight room, I pushed myself through a third mile on the treadmill, music blaring into my ears from a playlist on my phone. Just in time for my cool down, one of my favorite songs came on and I breathed out a heavy breath.

"If I traded it all, if I gave it all away for one thing..." I sang quietly as I slowed my pace. Sweat ran down the front my neck and my hair stuck to my forehead. "...if I sorted out, if I knew all about this one thing, wouldn't that be something..."

I grabbed some towels and cleaned off the machine and took off for a shower. My headache was gone and my muscles felt warm, pliable and I was ready to get on with the day. I had a meeting to do a read through and some sort of photo thing later. I had been non-stop go for almost a year and was looking forward to a longer stint of downtime. Maybe I'd make it back over the pond for a few weeks. Wonder if Bella could be talked into coming along.

I stood under the hot spray of water; head hung allowing the pressure to massage my neck. As thoughts of Bella swarmed my brain, I flipped the water to cold and sucked in a breath as the temperature change hit me like a punch to the chest.

"Shit." I slammed the dial to off and wrapped a towel around my waist.

...

"Edward! When are you going to visit your lady friend?"

"Edward! Did you really knock her up and leave her?"

"Is Bella going to into rehab? Are you going to foot the bill?"

"Come on now guys..." I heard Emmett's no funny business voice boom out as I slid into the backseat of the waiting vehicle. "... Pregnancy and rehab? There is no story here. Go home."

I pulled my ball cap lower and sat quietly as Emmett jumped in next to me. The door shut with a thud and the vehicle pulled slowly from the curb and onto the road.

"You know they're not going to stop until you say something, Edward." Emmett stared at me from his seat.

"I know that. I just haven't decided what to say. And Bella isn't bothered by it." I looked out the window watching the lights flash by. "Yet."

"Hey man, no brooding. Get your head out of your ass." Emmett thumped my arm with his giant fist and laughed.

"I'm not brooding, fucker. I'm simply thinking."

"Right." Emmett drawled out. "Simply thinking." He snorted and shook his head. "That's just the uptight British way of saying, I'm a moody broody motherfucker right now."

I raised an eyebrow in his direction and he just grinned his dopey ass grin.

"You're a giant pain the ass, Emmett. You're lucky I let you stay around."

This brought forth loud laughter; at the same time my phone started buzzing.

Jasper - Bella had an interesting evening. You may want to ask her about it.

Edward - What the fuck are you talking about?

Jasper - Just ask her, man. And keep cool. She's a tough chick.

I glared at the phone for a long moment and didn't even care when Emmett grabbed it from my hand and read the texts.

"We headed up sooner than planned?"

"I don't know. I'll talk to her first. Obviously if Jasper isn't worried, it can't be that bad."

"You know you're going to use whatever excuse you can to get over there, right?" Emmett snorted at me. "You're so fuckin' gone, bro."

A/N
He's so gone.. but is she?