Chapter 10
"Breakfast." Lori said bringing a tray into the bedroom.
"Thank you." I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
"How are you feeling?"
"Off. Just off."
"Hershel will be here in a little while with more meds. Eat up." she smiled then left. My head was still feeling fuzzy and my arm was sore, and so was my back, most likely from being in bed for three days. With no mirror in the room, I couldn't see if I was still pale or if I was still sick, but when I reached for the tray, I knew something was still wrong. My arms and hands trembled so bad I almost dropped the whole thing on my lap. Eating that plate of eggs was frustrating and time consuming. I dropped the fork a few times and it made me nervous. I wasn't this bad yesterday.
When Hershel finally came in, my stomach with churning with worry. "Any better today?" he asked.
"My hands can't stop." I said holding them up to show him.
"That's just a reaction to the pills. It will stop in a few hours, but to be on the safe side, I'll give you a different type of antibiotics, only these with be injected into the bloodstream." That meant a needle. Crap. He put a mettle thermometer in my mouth then checked my pulse. "Your fever has gone down, but your pulse is still very fast."
"How much longer until I will be able to move around again?"
"If the meds keep working, within the next two days." he smiled down at me.
"Good, I don't think I can take much more of this."
"Andrea will be around if you need anything."
He headed towards the door, when I remembered, "How is Beth? I'd forgotten to ask."
"She'll live."
"That's good to hear. Thank you Hershel." He nodded then left. I looked down at my infected arm and saw that my veins were still bright purple and blue, but less visible through the skin. Maybe I was getting better. I just hoped it would sooner. I rolled over and closed my eyes, but I couldn't fall asleep. I had slept too much already and I wasn't tired, not anymore.
Outside I just watched the Autumn clouds pass by the blue sky until I heard yelling from downstairs through a closed door. It sounded like Beth and Maggie, arguing over something I wasn't quite sure of.
When Andrea came up with lunch I asked, "Whats going on?"
"Beth is having a hard time and Maggie doesn't understand."
"Her mother?"
"Yeah. She was talking about killing herself."
"She was?"
"I don't think she'll do it, but she has to decide for herself."
"I guess I understand that. I wouldn't want someone else making that choice for me."
"Exactly." Andrea breathed. "Maggie and Lori need to let her work it out for herself." After that, she took the tray back downstairs and not long after, the yelling stopped. I heard shattering glass from down stairs not more then ten minutes later. It made me jump and sit up. There was yelling and pounding on a wooden door by Lori and Maggie. Something was wrong and I needed to know what. I pushed my shaky legs over the side of the bed and pulled myself up with the table next to the bed. Once standing, my wobbly legs slid forward and I held onto the wall until I was in the hall. I got a few feet down the hall when I yelled, "Is everything alright?"
Lori walked by the stair well and ran up to me. "Beth tried to kill herself."
"She did it?" my eyes went wide.
"She broke the bathroom mirror and tried to slit her wrist." That was the sound. Beth did try and I pushed myself to see her. I agreed with Andrea but I didn't think she'd actually do it. "Whoa, where are you going?"
"I want to see her."
"She'll be okay. The cut wasn't deep enough to do any real harm and Hershel will take care of it." I sighed and shook my head as Lori helped me back into the bed where I laid idle and bored for hours.
It wasn't until Carol brought up my dinner that I had anyone to talk to. I was grateful that she stayed with me for a little while. I had no news on the group in days and was no longer aware of what they were up to.
"So anything new out there?"
"Rick and Shane took Randell out today."
"Are they back yet? Did they find a good place for him?"
"They just got back." she sighed and looked out the dark window. "And no, they had a problem and they brought him back."
"Where are they keeping him?"
"In the shed. He's handcuffed there."
"Do you know what the problem was?"
"I didn't ask."
She was unusually quiet tonight and I wasn't sure why. "Anything else happen?"
"Not really." she looked down at her hands and smirked. "I don't know if you saw it, but Ember has hair growing in."
"Hair you say?"
"Yeah, short red hair. It's a cute little fuzz." If it was hair that got her talking, it was enough for me.
"I'll have to go see her soon then. Maybe tomorrow.
"No point straining yourself. I could bring her by."
"It's okay. I really need to get out of this bed."
"Just be careful." she warned in her mother voice. "It's been a long week without you around."
"I can't believe it's been almost a week. It only feels like a day or two. I've just slept so much."
"We were worried that you weren't going to wake up."
"And Daryl?"
"Him more than anyone. He was in here with you for almost two days straight."
"I haven't seen him yet." I said confused. Everyone was telling me how worried he was but I hadn't seen him once since I was brought here.
"Wasn't he with you today?"
"No, not at all today or yesterday."
"Huh, that's weird. He hasn't been around camp lately."
"Where has he been?"
"When you first blacked out, he barely left the house except to eat with us. Last night and today I figured he was in here with you." I shook my head. "At first, I'd come up here or Andrea would and he'd be in that chair, for hours he'd just sit there. I thought you'd done it, that you brought him back to us, but now I wounder if it was just a momentary thing."
"I don't know. I didn't get much of a chance to talk to him." I said finishing up the last of some left over meat.
"Tell me, if you can, what was wrong? Your arm?"
"Oh, I guess it got infected or something. Hershel thinks it is blood poisoning."
"It looks like it got nasty. Did he have the right medicine?"
"Antibiotics is all." Behind Carol, in the hall I heard someone clear their throat and we turned to see Daryl waiting there.
"I'll take this back down now. Tomorrow, I'll being Ember."
"But I said- Alright, thank you Carol." She smiled and scooted down the hall as Daryl came in. "What have you been up to?"
"More then you."
"Well I hope so. They tell me you've been in here a lot."
"So?"
"Thought maybe you missed me or something. Have you decided to join the group again?" He didn't answer, just took a seat in the chair in the corner of the room. "You know they need someone like you. Someone brave and strong. A leader." He scoffed and got up and headed towards the door. "Where are you going?"
"You say that I'm a leader, like Rick."
"And you doubt that?"
"You make me out for something I ain't. You think I'm like them. You think I'm a good honest man, like them. Hell, you made me believe it for awhile, but I'm not! That's why we don't work out. You're a good person, from a good family. I ain't. I ain't a good man like them."
"You lie to yourself. You think that all you do is wrong. You looked for Sophia more then almost anyone else and when we found her, I could see in you how it crushed you. A bad man would feel nothing like that. You've done more good then most anyone here. The only thing you're ever wrong about is who you are. You are one of the best men I've ever met, if not the best. Sophia wasn't your's but you searched for her as if she was. You took a bullet looking for her and still didn't give up. You care for Ember too, who isn't your's either, and yet you still see nothing but the darkness in yourself. The same darkness that everyone holds. I see past that, and so should you." He wanted to hear no more and left. He was afraid of something and I wasn't sure what.
Out in the hall, right after he left I could hear Lori talking. "Beauty never hurt the beast. She only made him into a better man." Then she came in with pills from Hershel. "These, he said, will put you to sleep." I took the two pills and soon after the lights went out, fell into a not so welcomed sleep, again.