A/N : Not mine. All Kouga Yun's. I don't own Loveless. I don't make any money out of it.
Nearing the end. Just another one left after this one.
Chapter 21
Ritsuka turned to Soubi and studied him intently for a few seconds before walking to his kitchen to pour him a strong coffee. Then he sat back down. He felt like he hadn't left this chair for hours.
"How are you feeling?" he enquired.
"I'm— alright, Ritsuka. Everything's fine," he replied as he sat in front of him and played with his steaming cup.
"I won't get angry if you're honest, you know. You don't look alright."
Soubi watched him in earnest, his head slightly cocked to the side and seemed to ponder his words. When he looked down into his cup again, Ritsuka knew he would be truthful.
"I feel— bereft somehow," he said thoughtfully. "Wronged. But I shouldn't and it irks me."
"I can relate to the feeling of loss," he comforted and put a hand on his. "I've accepted your need to belong and I understand it is hard for you to let go of your tether. I know you hate feeling directionless and I've assumed you'll need some time to mourn your bond with Seimei." Soubi opened his mouth to protest but Ritsuka held up his hand and continued. "I'm not angry, Soubi. I'm not disappointed either. You've spent ten years on his leash, I've spent six years waiting for you. I can't expect you to be as thrilled as I am. It will all come in due time. As long as you come back to me in the end, it's fine." He smiled at him encouragingly and his eyes softened.
"You've always been soft-hearted, Ritsuka."
"Which means you don't believe a word of what I've said." He sighed. "Alright. Get up and close your eyes. Relax," he added as an afterthought.
They really had to share a name quickly. Calling him cost too much effort and energy, not accounting the disadvantage in Spell Battle. And really, he only wanted to expose their bond for all to see. His own battle had been led and won. Now, he wanted to reap the rewards. Soubi was his and it was to be heralded. No-one would ever take his Fighter away from him again.
"Do you hear me now, Soubi?" he waited for his nod. "Do you see me?" Another nod. "Do you feel my presence?" Another nod. "You will never be alone, for as long as you'll have me. Open your eyes, Soubi." He waited for him to comply and adjust to the shimmering of their bond. "I pledge myself to you, Soubi."
"Ritsuka!" he exclaimed with a frown. "I'm your Fighter. You don't have to. Don't give yourself away."
"You still don't understand." He smiled sadly. "I love you, Soubi." He saw him stiffen in surprise and huffed slightly. "I will never accept anyone else. Not as a Fighter, not as a lover either. I am yours. I've always been. And now, you can be mine. Without orders, without a tether, without constraints. You can choose to be mine. I offer you a relation that is not power-dependant. I give myself away," he insisted "because I love you."
"Ritsuka," he whispered, eyes downcast. "I don't deserve you." He sighed. "But I would be a fool to turn down our bond or turn away from you," he added before kissing him.
Reaping the benefits indeed. And as Soubi kissed him with an intensity matching his own, at last, he felt whole. He had always been fully committed— to this Fighter, who had stolen his heart as surely as Seimei had stolen his happiness or his mother his innocence. In his arms, he had always felt stronger. This was no exception. Finally, he had his hands on him. And finally, he seemed to reciprocate.
"Are you willing?" he purred softly when he felt him harden under his caresses. He was kissed more fiercely as an answer.
I'm not nearly happy with it but I couldn't left it at the previous chapter either. Anyway, thanks for sticking up with me and for having read.