Hey guys! It's time for another exciting episode of The Hot Topic Krew!
I just want to address that the HTK is in fact, its own entire universe separate from the other spin-offs(there's a reason why they're called spin-offs to begin with). The only one that it does correspond with(since the author and I actually discuss things and they personally requested it) is The League of Super Evil. Other than that, it's entirely its own thing just like the others, hence why characters like Claus and Villager are still in the CTH, well HTK CTH.
So if people ever wanted to make it close to canon(not advised though since its more fun to do your own thing), the one that will be followed is HTK since its the first story to spawn off the clubs and stuff.
Anyways, hope that answers things. ^^;
Chapter 15: The Hot Topic Krew is complete
A day has passed since they gotten the newest member, Greninja. Today the Hot Topic Krew was relaxing, going out and about as they had to have Lana with them once more. everyone seemed to be getting used to her company, heck Greninja, Lucina, Luigi and Shadow often talked to her while wolf would beg her to play with him. Minus the weeabooness, she actually wasn't all that bad. Marc and Morgan weren't with them because Mama Cia decided that she wanted a day to spend time with her grandbabies.
However, one member didn't seem to like it one bit.
Mewtwo felt like he was going crazy with no Cia to pick on, let alone even mess with. Magolor was there but he wasn't as fun as the dark sorceress. Soon, he remembered Kynthia's god awful words to him, the stupid Lancia witch.
He was sick of the Lancias' and their shitty way. He wondered how Grima could put up with such nuisances and wanted to even destroy them all. Then he remembered.
Cia's twin sister, Lana, besides being an former member of the Cute Toot House, was also not only an Lancia but pretty heavy as well. Grinning, he was frustrated that he had to not only put up with Dark Pit and his shitty ideas but also the fucking weeaboo and her annoying talks about anime.
"Shut the fuck up already you fat bitch," said Mewtwo.
Everyone literally froze, wondering who he was even talking to. Lana pouted as she stopped rambling about Meguca with Lucina and her older half-sister.
"M-me?" she asked all cutely.
"Yes you. You Lancias' are the bane of the earth's existence. an clan dedicated to literally fatasses who do nothing but eat and complain about stupid shit. You child, are an fucking disgrace and an complete waste of space. Your diet or whatever you're trying to do to impress some shitty guy who probably isn't that into you, is pathetic. If I were you, I'd just give up and die. Oh wait, you'd probably gorge yourself to death anyways just like your bitch of a mother is doing right now," said Mewtwo, going too fucking far.
This fucking asshole Pokémon has got to go.
Lana froze as tears began to well up in her eyes. Unlike Cia, Lana wasn't one to fight back nor give attitude. She was just too pure for that as instead, she literally ran off, crying an storm.
The Krew members frowned, giving Mewtwo an nasty glare as they literally knew that if her mother were to check up on her, they were fucked to include Shia.
Dark Pit finally had it. He was finally able to register the problem as he glared darkly.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MEWTWO," said Dark Pit. "You fucking idiot, she's not fucking Cia. I don't care how much of an annoying weeb she is, honestly, she doesn't deserve any of that. Its beyond fucked up and you've gone too fucking far you piece of fucking shit asshole Pokémon."
"What would you fucking know anyways?! You're just an measly pathetic brat!" snapped the asshole Pokémon.
"More than you fucking ever know, you dickless bitch. Have you ever used a thing called logic before? It exists you know, fucker. Some people have medical complications which prevent them from being active or even losing weight. She's fucking trying her best and given her track record I recall from her sister before she died, up to this point she literally had no friends to confide in and what do you do? Decide to be a dick. You know what, I'm fucking done with you. Shadow, will you do the honor of kicking this bitch ass fucker to the curb?" requested Dark Pit.
"Fucking finally my time has come to fine," beamed Shadow. With all of his might, he kicked Mewtwo, causing him to fly off completely and disappear.
"And don't you ever come back to us again asshole," shouted Viridi. "You're officially out of the Hot Topic Krew!"
"Now, let's begin operation search for my sister before mom kills us or even worse, my stepfather," suggested Shia.
Magolor happened to sigh deeply as he passed by the park. He recalled hanging out with his two friends before Mewtwo murdered them due to his fatphobic ways. They didn't deserve to die at all. After all, they were just innocent citizens who just loved candy. The alien decided to pass by the old hangout spot to remember the good times in both of their names. As he got closer, he heard rustling sounds as it startled him for a moment. He decided to get on his guard, just in case it was an enemy or even worse, that asshole Pokémon himself.
As he approached closer, he pushed part of the bush just to see some strange girl. No, from just taking a simple glance, it turned out to be none other than former Cute Toot House member and sister of the deceased Hot Topic Krew member, Lana.
The young girl sniffled, shoveling Twinkies into her mouth as she quickly munched on them, coping with food to try to make herself happy again. At this point, she assumed Mewtwo to be right about Crossbow Training Link and just decided to give up on her diet and gorge herself. she noticed a Shadow lingering over her as she faced towards Magolor's direction before whining from a mixture of sadness and nervousness.
"I'm not going to hurt you," said Magolor. "I was just visiting the hang out spot of my deceased friends, that's all."
She just stared at him, her mouth being covered in chocolate. It reminded the space egg so much of Gaius for a moment, he almost swore he was going to cry for the loss of the Ylissean thief.
"Friends... I never had any of them ever," sniffled the sorceress. "Nobody ever liked me growing up. I was constantly bullied for who I am as well as my size. My sisters always protected me from the bullies and never made me feel like I was alone but then, we drifted apart. My eldest sister started hanging out with people her age while my twin... she... she... she changed, grew bitter and ha-ha-hates me..."
She started wailing loudly as she shoveled a Hershey bar into her mouth.
Sighing, Magolor knew as much as she was on the side of the enemy that now wasn't the time for that. Instead, he felt sympathy towards her, knowing how it is not to be liked.
"Please don't cry..." said the Cadbury egg. "I'm sure you sister loved you regardless, even if she was a bi- I mean awful at times."
Lana perked up, growing quiet. "R-really?"
"Yeah, I mean you should be lucky to have a twin sister at that. It may seem like you two might not get along because you fight with one another but regardless you love each other even if it's difficult for one to show it. After all, if she truly hated you, she would have done away with you a long time ago."
The girl stood quiet, thinking about something. it was true, regardless of Cia's reckless ambition and her behavior, not once had she let anyone else try to lay an hand on her. Wiping her tears along with the chocolate covered on her face, she couldn't help but thank Magolor.
"Thank you very much Mr. Floating Egg-san," said the weeaboo. "You're a really sweet person, you know that. I bet you have lots of friends."
Before he could say anything, the girl got up and left. Magolor sighed, wishing that was the case but in reality, nobody liked him. The young Lana however, didn't seem to mind his presence or berate him. Oh if only he'd ask sooner. Little did he know, a familiar bully was behind him the entire time.
Phosphora smirked, wondering what that loser was doing out here anyways. Nui wasn't with her, seeing how she tagged along with Elsa and the mysterious Deadpool to track an humanized female version of Shadow the Hedgehog with a pair of an giant, red scissor.
"Well, well, well is this how the loser spends his free time? I thought you'd be doing you know, things that aren't going to this bush all the time unless you were doing inappropriate things," she said.
Magolor frowned. As much as she thought of herself to be better than Mewtwo, the truth is that she was just the same in his eyes, even if she hated the asshole Pokémon for making fun of him. He wanted to tell her to screw herself however, he was too passive. Poor Magolor, too passive for this cruel world.
"And you're here because?"
"Because I'm bored," the girl simply stated. "If you want, I can tell you an story to make your big baby self-feel better. Geez, stop acting like you're the most hated thing on this planet."
"But I am," whined Magolor.
"No you're not," Phosphora said, defending him a bit. "If you were, you would have had an article about you about how you almost killed half of an class population. And besides, I know someone more pathetic than you."
"Really?" this gave Magolor some hope at least, some but not many. Poor Magolor, doomed to forever suffer while dickless assholes like Mewtwo get away with shit all the time.
"Yep. Used to know this girl a long time ago back when I was in first or second grade I think. Anyways, she was really pathetic, like real pathetic. Too kind for her own good, couldn't stick up for herself and like you, she was pretty big. People always loved asking to borrow her stuff because she never asked for it back, heck even with her own toys she never got that back either. Her cousins were pretty awful people to boot, always picking on her, telling her stuff that's probably worse than what the League has said to you and Mewtwo both combined, so she had some pretty low self-esteem. Always confide to everyone's opinion, never could think for herself, it was like watching someone agreeing to everyone's opinion, no matter how absurd it was because she wanted everyone to like her even though that wasn't the case. Funny thing is, she didn't stop wetting the bed until she was in fifth grade, that's how scary her cousins were along with sleeping without a night light till grade seven. Kinda pathetic don't you think?"
"...Yeeeah, but I'll have to admit, you're pretty awful yourself, I mean it sounds like you're telling me about this girl because you're jealous of her. I can just tell from hearing your tone," exclaimed the space alien. Good Magolor, you get an cookie now, yes you do you winner. Everyone loves Magolor, yay!
"What?! Me, jealous of her?! Ha, no way!" Phosphora retorted, huffing.
"That's jealously alright," Magolor said bluntly. He decided to leave it at that and ran off, leaving Phosphora looking dumbfounded.
The blonde huffed in annoyance, rolling her eyes. She couldn't believe she let Magolor out of all people one up her. The half deity wanted revenge and needed to find a good way of getting it somehow.
"Stupid Magolor," she muttered to herself, "Who does he even think he is, thinking I'm jealous of stupid Kynthia out of all people?! Gross... but gosh, she was so cute back then though with those chubby lil cheeks, that adorable little smile, how meek she was and always checked up on me when I was sad... GAH! WHY AM I REMINISCING THE GOOD TIMES AUUUUUUUGH!"
With that, Phosphora went to return back to the base, but before she did, picked up some fancy Prada sunglasses fuck yeah, because the devil that wears Prada just like that movie The Devil Wears Prada starring Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway.
As the Hot Topic Krew and their secretary went out searching for Lana, something big was going on at the base of the MemeMemeMeme Brigade. their base happened to be decorated in a mixture of 90s PBS, Nickelodeon and Disney as Shulk loved believing he was a kid in the 90s even though Chrom was in high school during that time. They were chilling and listening to none other than the great Madonna. Shulk loved Madonna and owned all of her CDs along with tour shirts. They were chilling and playing that god awful game Mouse Trap(seriously that shit never works, who the fuck even managed to get it to work I salute you) while one of their newer members, Nikki was on the computer. Suddenly, Little Mac barged in, having a look of disdain on him.
Marth perked up, glancing over at the boxer along with the others.
"Guys I have some bad news!" exclaimed Little Mac.
"Tell, tell."
"Someone bought the rights the Girl Scout cookie factory! Now it's for private use."
Shulk gasped. Who could have done such an awful thing, especially something extremely selfish such as not sharing delicious Girl Scout cookies!
"Nooo my minty mint!" cried Captain Falcon.
It was a sad day for the memes after all. Riki was disheartened as he couldn't believe it. Who would do such an terrible thing?! The religious Nopon wondered if some atheist or Satanist jerk bought the delicious, delectable cookies as he moaned a bit.
"Riki mad! Riki angry at jerk who bought cookie factory!"
Chrom wasn't all that sad though. He did love those delicious thin mints but they weren't fish sticks, his most favorite thing in the entire world. He loved them more than anything else as he once slept in his homemade blanket full of fish stick goodness until Ruben made him throw it out!
As they were all mourning the loss of the Girl Scout cookies (except Nikki, she was too busy telling off an dudebro for being an asshole), Bayonetta walked inside, wondering what in the world was going on.
"Um, guys? Why are you guys acting like it's the end of the world?" she asked, being quite confused and curious at the same time.
"Oh it's horrible, poyo," cried Kirby. "Someone bought the girl scout cookie factory!"
"Really now? That's odd, seeing how I'd figure an rich person would invest in something else more worth their time. Say Nikki, can you search to see who even purchased the thing?" asked the hot, sexy, long, tall witch with the short hair now because she's the sexy Bayonetta from Bayonetta 2.
"Sure thing!"
Nikki the Swapnote Mii began to look up things about the Girl Scout cookie factory. All of the members began to huddle around her, Donkey Kong drinking an banana smoothie while Ike had Popeyes' this time. Mmm Louisiana good.
After a few minutes, she managed to find the archive along with who purchased the factory.
"Hmm, according to this website, the girl scout cookie factory was purchased from none other than... an Rufure Lancia, otherwise known as Reflet," exclaimed the cool and hip feminist.
Everyone gasped. Chrom however was raging.
"... That fucker Grima thinks he could take Girl Scout cookies away from us! I Chrom, king of Ylisse will not stand for this! Grima will pay, Grima will fall, I will smash Grima!" said the fish stick loving atheist. He was angry, boiling with rage but this time he didn't transform.
"Grima? May you please explain exactly who this Grima is?" Reyn asked. "After all, how are we supposed to help an fellow Meme'ber if we don't even know jack squat about the guy."
"He's an evil fell dragon," said Chrom. "Almost took out Ylisse once, in fact, his human form is known as Reflet who looks like Robin, but in a form of an manakete, plus his horns. I can't believe that fucker has an family too that pisses me off sooooo much, auuuuuuuuugh!" ranted Chrom, slamming his fists on the blue kiddie table. The rug happened to be an children's city themed rug with roads for them to play race cars on. These memes, living out their childhood to the fullest.
"Evil! Riki assumes him to be Satan! Riki hate Satan more than atheists!"
"Now, now Riki there's no need to jump to conclusions yet," Marth ushered, trying to calm him down. "After all, maybe he might be an reasonable guy."
"True," said expand dong, chiming in.
"So, who's going to join Chrom in making sure he doesn't try to kill the guy, even if he's an evil fell dragon?" asked Ike.
"Hmm, I'd suggest for Marth, Nikki, Riki and Donkey Kong," said Shulk being the leader who also goes I'm really feeling it in an British accent because he is from England, therefore he's British and loves British things like the Beatles, not iced tea, queen Elizabeth the II, Big Ben, John Lemon, One Direction, WHAM!, Depeche Mode, Pet Shop Boys, old Doctor Who before Superwholockians got to it, Monty python and Harrie Putfish.
So the memes journeyed their way to the Girl Scout cookie factory were Grima was, dressed sharp because he is rich and rich people are fancy as hell. He got lucky and married an rich girl and since he works for NASA, he gets paid good ass money. He was holding an blindfolded Kynthia's hand, placing his finger as if telling his two grandchildren not to mention the surprise. Soon after, he moved her blindfolds as her eyes widened in surprise, gasping.
"For you my lovely Kiki," he said, being all romantic and S-support like.
"Eeeeeee, it's so perfect! I can't believe you actually did it! Oh my god, I love you GriGri!" beamed Kynthia, hugging her husband as she now had an new unlimited supply of the girl scout cookies. finally she can have Samoas during any time of the year!
"That was really sweet of you grandpa," said Marc, smiling. "What did you do to earn it? Tell people if they didn't give into your demands that you'll kill them?"
This caused Morgan to nudge her brother with her elbow.
"Marc!" scolded the white haired girl, "Don't say stupid shit like that."
"Awww, I just miss mother is all," whined the boy.
"Well, I negotiated with the owner of course," said Grima, wearing glasses. "Managed to give him a good sum that he liked and he was sold! Of course I have to make a profit with this somehow as well but I can restrict who buys them and who can't. Isn't that amazing?"
"It sure is!" chirped the twins.
Kynthia already had a bag of fresh, delicious Samoas as she gleefully munched on them. She appeared to be in heaven, humming some cutesy version of "Eclipse of the Moon" as she moved towards her husband.
"Are you sure this dress doesn't make me look too fat dear?" she asked, having some crumbs on her face while making an :3 like face.
"I'm sure love," he replied, stroking said crumbs off her slightly pudgy yet beautiful face. She giggled happily in delight, blushing madly as she felt like she was young again.
Little did they know an angry Ylissean lord charged after them, causing the other tag alongs to try to hold him back.
"GRIMA YOU FUCKER!" yelled Chrom.
Grima made an annoyed face, sighing as he shook his head.
"Oh dear sweet Medeus," he muttered under his breath. Soon, Chrom, Nikki, Riki, Marth and Donkey Kong were looking at the man as Marth whispered something into the ape's ear, possibly about holding Chrom if things get heated.
"What is it that you want now? Can't you see I'm spending some quality time with my grandchildren right now?!" he said in frustration.
"Well, is it alright if we purchase some cookies Mr. Lancia," said Marth, being the proper gentleman actor that he was. Such bishie, so beautiful so shiny and gorgeous, no wonder fangirls love this beautiful Japanese man.
"Oh my god, aren't you that famous actor Marth Lowell?!" Kynthia squealed, rushing over. She appeared to be gushing as she couldn't believe he was there, out in the flesh.
"Yes ma'am," he replied. What a nice gentleman, too bad copyright nice guys ruined that as they wear their fedoras, trench coats and converse with jeans.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She began jumping up and down, Grima getting slightly jealous but it was still better than it being an Link. Anything but a Link.
"M-may I have your autograph pwease?" she asked all cutely, being moe as fuck. Truth is, she was always moe but people pushed her to become tsundere.
"S-sure," said Marth. "In fact, if you have your phone with you, we can take a picture together as well."
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kynthia squealed again. she rushed over towards Marth, the two of them taking an selfie together while in addition to getting an signed photo of him.
"T-t-t-thank you so, so much," pleaded the woman.
Grima couldn't help but smile a little, losing his jealousy. After all, his wife's happiness mattered above all else.
"Hehe, grandma's acting all funny just like mother does when she watched her favorite anime with me when I was little," exclaimed Marc, smiling.
"It's pretty cute seeing her happy. After all, I met her when she was moping, poor thing. I love grandma," said Morgan.
"Me too. I love grandma and grandpa both," replied the momma's boy.
Both twins were embraced by their extremely happy grandmother as she kissed both of them on the cheek.
"Riki wonder why Riki can't have cookie! Satanists with red pupils are evil! Red is the color of Satan! Riki hate Satan!" said the Nopon, causing Chrom to roll his eyes. Seeing how he almost got the holy water out, Kynthia pouted.
"Satanist? I'm offended now," she said. "I pay my respects to god and attend church every Sunday."
Hearing that changed Riki's opinion. "Does fell dragon go to church too?"
"Yes," Grima replied.
"Fell dragon not enemy! Fell dragon friend and god worshiper like Riki, unlike Satan Pit!" said Riki. Now he was in a good mood as well.
"You guys actually like Grima? What the actual fuck," said Chrom.
"So, why did you purchase this factory anyways? Doesn't it seem selfish if it's being used for private use?" said Nikki, bring up an very good point.
"True, true but trust me, I still plan on selling these cookies. Just not to select people, such as an idiotic, fucking dumbass lord who cheated on his wife for some fucking pink hedgehog. But to answer your question, my wife hasn't been in the best of spirits lately so I purchased it to make her happy. Of course I'm still going to sell these to the general public as well," explained the dragon.
"Aww, that's pretty cute actually. You sound like a man who actually loves and respects his wife to his fullest which is quite rare," stated the feminist Mii.
"That I do. Kynthia is my darling little heron. If anything happens to her, I will go after and kill whoever hurts her."
"Hmm, do you think you can make some banana flavored cookies?" suggested Donkey Kong, leader of the DK crew.
"Sure thing."
Everyone was falling for the Grima charms as Chrom loathed it! Why where they liking an evil dragon who almost destroyed his kingdom?! Apparently they were getting Girl Scout cookies handed to them as Grima said none for Chrom as he is banned.
Kynthia glared at Chrom, remembering what he did with her and abandoning poor Shia.
"Oh, it's you," she said, eating an Samoa.
"Oh, Chromantha's mom... I didn't know you married this jerk! No wonder Chromantha doesn't love me!" retorted the king.
"No, and second of all, did you just seriously call her Chromantha? Like, what the actual fuck? But anyways, who would love someone who runs off and abandons them anyways?! God Chrom, you're suck an fucking dick, you know that? You broke my heart when you did that and you think you're better than Grima? Oh puh-lease, you're worse than that stupid goddess Palutena! God I hate her so much with her perfect silky hair and her perfect face and her perfect body, FUCKING HELL!" she went on an rampage about her jealously over the goddess of light.
It turns out that it was a good day for the memes after all well, for everyone else except Chrom as they got acquainted with Grima and his family.
Meanwhile, Lana was wandering around, still pretty sad over what the asshole Pokémon sad. Little did she know, she managed to walk past her ex-boyfriend pit as he managed to catch a good look at her.
"Lana?" he muttered to himself.
The angel thought to himself, wondering how Lana was there when Lady Palutena told him that Lana returned back to them at the base. He realized something wasn't quite right until it hit him. The Lana with the cute toot house wasn't the Lana they were familiar with at all.
The Hot Topic Krew continued to look for her, eventually getting back.
"I can't find her anywhere," said Lucina.
"Woof woof," said Wolf.
"Me either," said Lucas.
"Fuck, I'm so dead, shit shit fucking a," Shia muttered, whining.
"Least we got rid of Mewtwo finally but still, finding the girl is more important," said Shadow.
Dark Pit seemed to be deep in thought, his anime red eyes and his beautiful bishounen hair glistening in the evening sun. Man, what an hot, sexy rebel he is.
Eventually Robin found Lana sitting on the bench as everyone was relieved. They rushed over, Shia looking at her sister as she hugged her.
"Lana! There you are! Thank goodness you're alright! We practically looked everywhere for you!"
"... You should just leave me be... I'm fat and useless," she cried.
"T-that's not true sis. You're important to me, mom, everyone. We love you."
"... I have no friends Shia. I never did... I'm just an worthless pile of garbage like stupid Wizzro," she answered back.
"That's not true!" Shia said, her voice growing sterner. "We looked everywhere for you, got rid of that fucking dickless creature. I love you so much, even if we're only half-sisters."
"She's right," said Lucina. "After all, we're your friends too!"
Robin nodded, smiling.
"WHAT?!" said Dark Pit, but however Lucas covered his boyfriend's edgy mouth.
"R-really? You mean it?" asked Lana.
"Of course," said Greninja, who barely knows her yet finds her strangely cute. Perhaps he can teach her about some Japanese culture sometime in the future.
Luigi nodded alongside Shadow, Wolf wagged his tail, Mr. Game and Watch beeped and even Lucas, the hot sexy beautiful gorgeous Lucas, gave her an thumbs up. It was now all on Dark Pit. Viridi didn't count because she was technically like an aunt to her.
"Tch, yes... we're friends," he said.
"Yay! Pittoo's so tsundere, its kawaii!" she said.
"Do me a favor and never say that again!" Dark Pit said, being edgily embarrassed. He couldn't admit that he was glad to be surrounded by people who cared for him besides Lucas. In fact, the Hot Topic Krew was finally complete.
-Chaptar 15 ends as Dark Pit's theme plays for once as the Krew walks back to the sunset for some dinner-
That's it! Next Chaptar prepare for Part 1 of the Epic Mall battle involving the HTK, CTH and MMMB as they fight against one another, well, more like two against one. But wait, Ryuko and her sister Satsuki along with her mysterious group of Future Children are joining in as well?! Just who exactly is their group and what purpose do their serve? Furthermore, whose side are they on.
Tune in next time for the mall battle as the CTH gets a newest addition to their team, one who has style and can shrink in size!
What's worse is that everyone's favorite villain, the evil Yoshi and his master are planning to show up later! Will the HTK be able to save their precious mall or will it die off? Well, tune in next for for Chaptar 16: Giant Battle at the Mall Part 1.
Also, decided to do an reminder of what the HTK OCs look like since I'm sure its hard to keep up after reading about their appearance once.
Kynthia - Cia's Guardian of Time costume
Shia - Lana's Guardian of Time costume
Anal - Lana's Cia color palette
Icarus - The Dark Pit color palette from Super Smash Brothers Brawl
Emily - The Sumia color palette for Lucina
We're so creative, I know.