Lady Talk

"You look really happy and relaxed. Would Operation Secret Relationship have anything to do with that?" Ann stated in between bites of her salad. The two women were catching up over lunch on a bench outside city hall.

"Work is great, personal life great like these lady talks we have over lunch, I actually have a pretty terrific romantic life, albeit a secret one. Keeping things secret has it's challenges; the sneaking around and having to keep something you're happy about a secret is rough. But having a secret relationship is also kind of…..hot," Leslie said smiling.

"I had a secret relationship once. Billy Jvelinik. I was fourteen and he was my secret boyfriend. I wasn't allowed to date until I was sixteen. So we dated in secret. Basically I just lied a few times and said I was meeting my friends at the mall or the movies when I was really meeting him. We use to make out in front of the pretzel kiosk. To this day, mall pretzels make me feel….things. Anyways, he then broke up with me because he met a girl at the arcade, her parents owned it and he got a bunch of free tickets for the games. I was devastated but then like a week later a sophomore on the football team started flirting with me. He was really popular and had a car," Ann relayed, a bit starry eyed.

"So how is the secret relationship aspect doing it for ya?" Ann said wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh, Ann," Leslie sighed but then giggled, "Well, sneaking around is kind of fun. It's… about quality over quantity. You don't really know when you're going to see each again. I'm just…..really enjoying it. It's kind of nice just keeping things between Ben and I without everyone else's comments and questions. Well, between Ben, me, and you. And April, well actually I think I was sneaky enough to detour April from finding out the truth," Leslie said smiling but soon her smile faltered into a frown.

"What?"

"I just…..don't want to think about how it could all blow up in my face, what I'm risking, or how there's an expiration date to our relationship. I'm putting my career and reputation on the line for fun, feeling good, a cute guy that is so nice, and amazing sexy times. I mean, technically, I'm in a sex scandal."

"It's okay. Yes, you are risking those things. But the only thing you and Ben are doing wrong is having a relationship. But your secret relationship is nothing like anything that douche Dexhart would be involved in, there's no corruption or fraud, nothing like that. You've spent your entire life doing for others so give yourself a break and do something that makes you happy. Do you always want to wonder what if…what if you had taken a chance with Ben….what could've happened?"

"You're right, you wise courageous lioness. If I don't take this risk with Ben I'm gonna regret it."

"So back to the girl talk. You've really been enjoying yourself, huh?" Ann wiggled her eyebrows again.

"Yeah, yup. I mean it was worthy of being documented."

"Hence the imovie."

"Yup."

"So, spill the details," Ann encouraged. Leslie was usually rather reserved when it came to talking about sex but Ann could tell by the look on Leslie's face that she wanted to talk. She just needed a little encouragement.

"Remember that book I checked out at the library that one time. Well, not a problem. No problemo."

"Mmmmm. Wow."

"You know how," Leslie began, "women don't like it to last too long?"

"No."

"Well, I've discovered sometimes I do want it to last long. And then it does. Or it can be quick….. and to the point. " Leslie gushed through a whisper and Ann smiled widely over how her friend was radiating happiness.

"And I've realized something. When….uh…..sexy times are happening I'm not thinking about my grocery list, or waffles, Sam Waterson, Kennedy's 1961 Inaugural Speech, what to do about the raccoon problem, the parks budget, actually I did think about the Parks budget a few times and all the times Ben said no to me. But I'm not thinking about mulch, sod, drainage, or what to do about Israel."

"Ok, I get it. What about the other nonbibical aspects?" Ann interrupted. Ann had forgotten that while Leslie needed some encouragement to open up and discuss sex, that once you got Leslie loosened up to talk about the "scandalous" topic it was hard to get her to be quiet about the topic. Also, Leslie past sexual experiences really bummed her out.

"You know how I normally am so nervous about doing and saying something embarrassing?"

"Yeah," Ann shook her head yes wondering what new embarrassing thing Leslie had done.

"Well, I haven't been so worried about it. I think it comes from knowing each other almost a year before anything happened. It just puts me at ease. Also, on the occasions that I do say or do something awkward or embarrassing Ben never makes me feel bad about it. He actually makes me feel good about it and laugh about it. Then, like twenty minutes later he's the one to do or say something embarrassing. And a lot of things other guys find boring or think is embarrassing that I like; like government, politics, historical documentaries, having a list of Leslie's Powerful Women, Ben also likes. We have so much stuff in common. It just makes everything so much easier. But not boring easy. It's just nice to have things in common. And I know we're in the bubble this early on and we haven't had to deal with real relationship drama and the fact the our relationship is a scandal and against the rules but….now I'm sad," Leslie muttered.

"Go back to the good, happy stuff!" Ann suggested.

"Oh my god. Ann you have to make sure to pay close attention to Ben's butt next time you see him. It is so cute. He's such a tiny man but tall but not too tall but anyways, promise me you'll look at his butt so we can discuss it in detail next time?" Leslie "requested" looking pointedly at Ann.

"Uh….okay…..Will do," Ann muttered uncomfortably.