"Hey Ethan it's Emma, please call me. I need to explain some stuff." It was later that afternoon and Emma had been trying to get a hold of Ethan since he stormed out of the house that morning. She knew he would never answer. Ethan was too stubborn for that. When he's mad he ignores you it's his way of coping with the pain. Even though Emma knew this, she just needed to talk to him. She needed to hear his voice, know that he was okay. But every time the phone clicked to voicemail she got a little more worried and a little more irritated. She set the phone down on the couch and scrolled the guide on the living room TV. Even though there was nothing on on a mid-Saturday afternoon, she just needed something, anything, to get her mind off of her ex. She shook her head, the word 'ex' just didn't seem right. She looked down at the phone. She tapped the home button, the lock screen, a photo of her and Ethan on Christmas Eve lit up even though she knew he hadn't tried to call she still hoped a notification would indicate otherwise. She sighed and redialed his number, "It's Ethan, can't get to the phone so leave it at the beep." Again voicemail. She started to wonder if maybe Ethan was sitting on his bed, alone in his apartment just staring at the million times she'd called him in the last three hours. He probably thinks I'm pathetic, she wondered. But she didn't care, all she cared about was him, "Ethan, it's Emma again. Look I'm an idiot. Please call me? I love you too." she clicked off the phone and sat it on the coffee table flipping it over so the screen wouldn't taunt her.
Ethan laid on his back one leg hung off the edge of his unmade bed and the other was propped up on the bed. His arm hung over his forehead and he stared at the ceiling fan, concentrating on a single panel as it spun around. Every time the phone beside him would buzz with her name lit up on the screen he'd close his eyes desperately trying to ignore the call and every time the call would forward to voicemail, he'd listen to the most recent message. "I know you're an idiot." He responded out loud but the sound of her voice was eerily calming. He deleted the message just as he did with the other half dozen messages she'd left before, all of them similar to the last, and slammed the phone on the bed. He reached in his pocket and pulled out her engagement ring. The sight of it made his stomach knot. He imagined it on her tiny finger and thought back to the day he'd popped the question. If it took us three years to get to this point, why would she give up just like that? He wondered. He reached over to his bedside table and opened the drawer, he pulled out an old chain necklace and slid the ring through the chain, he closed the clasp and slid the chain around his neck. The metal of the chain was cold on his bare skin. He cupped the ring in his hand. His heart pulled at the memories that flooded his mind. Emma was everything to him and to see her throw it all away over a miscommunication ripped him a part. Suddenly a buzz by his side brought his attention back to the present. He sighed and looked down, her smiling face on his caller ID beamed up at him. For a moment he contemplated picking up, he fumbled with the phone in his hands, the phone vibrated against his fingertips. He drew in a deep breath and slide his finger over the answer button, "What?" His voice was cold and distant.
"Ethan!" Her voice rang over the other line. You could hear the excitement in her voice when he finally answered.
"What do you want, Emma?" He kept his voice hard and cold even though his heart warmed at the sound of her excitement.
"Can we please talk?" She asked her voice broke and he could tell she was holding back tears.
His heart skipped a beat imagining the tears his lover was fighting back, but instead of breaking he stood his firm ground, "We have nothing to talk about. You made your mind up Emma. You came out of nowhere with this bullshit you can't trust me crap. How am I supposed to respond to that? I love you, Emma. Probably more than you will ever know." Now he was fighting back his own tears now, he sniffled, "But you don't know how much it hurts to know that my own ex-fiancé doesn't trust me."
Hearing the pain in Ethan's voice made Emma's heart break, "I know baby. It's not that I don't trust you, I just… I asked you not to do anything about Savannah and you ran to my sister plotting how to get my daughter back. Why would you do that?"
Ethan's lip quivered, "I don't know, Em. I just saw the sheer desperation in your eyes. I know how much that situation hurts you, confuses you and how badly you just want to know that little girl. I just wanted you to be happy, baby honestly. Sutton didn't get involved. She told me not to do anything about it. She was right, I shouldn't have done anything, but seeing you so hurt baby kills me."
Emma's voice shook, her breathing was shallow and intense, "The only reason I believe that is because Sutton called me, she told me she didn't want anything to do with it, but it doesn't matter. You really hurt me. Should I trust you, Ethan?"
"Of course you should trust me, Emma. I love you. I would never do anything to hurt you. But it doesn't matter, you made this choice, Emma. This is what you want isn't it? Look, I gotta go. I told Sutton I'd meet with her to talk about something and she's calling me. We can talk about this later, ok?" He said trying regain his composure.
"Wait-" She protested but he'd already clicked off the phone. "Damn it!" she said slamming the phone down on the couch. She flung onto her back. Two lonely tears slid down her temples and she silently cursed herself. She squeezed her eyes shut knowing that she was the only one responsible for this reaction. But he was serious about this break up and she knew she couldn't change his mind no matter how hard she tried.
Sutton killed the ignition early that evening. The sun was setting and Kendall was fast asleep in her car seat. Her head had fallen forward but she seemed to not mind. Sutton opened the back door and unclipped her daughters safety belts. Kendall breathed in heavily awaking from her slumber. She looked at her mom and then out into the empty parking lot. Sutton lifted Kendall from the chair and set her on the ground. She groaned but Sutton ignored the child's protests. When Sutton had grabbed Kendall's diaper bag. She slammed the door of the Audi SUV and picked Kendall up again and began heading out of the parking lot to the place she'd told Ethan to meet her. Kendall rested her head on Sutton's shoulder, closing her eyes again.
Inside the tiny cafe, Sutton stood at the end of the long line to place her order, her back ached from the dead weight of her sleeping daughter and the diaper bag. "Hey." Ethan said when she was almost to the front of the line. Sutton swirled around and stared up at her ex.
"Oh hey." She said. "You're here."
"I can help the next guest in line!" A cashier about Sutton's age said waving her hand in the air to catch Sutton's attention.
Sutton stepped up to the counter and placed Kendall on the ground again. The baby was jostled awake and immediately began whining but Sutton ignored her, "Hi, can I get a two pair combo with french onion soup and a chicken salad sandwich, also I need a kid's mac and cheese with chocolate almond milk."
The girl smiled, "Ok your total is $13.79"
Kendall threw herself on the floor but Sutton paid her no attention. Ethan scooped the little girl up and held her in his arms. Immediately she stopped crying. She shoved her thumb in her mouth and rested her head on his shoulder closing her eyes. Sutton handed the cashier her credit card and looked at Ethan, "Don't let her sleep, she needs to wake up and eat dinner." She said. Ethan tried to wake the child but she was too far into dreams.
After Ethan placed his order, he took Kendall to find a table. When he found an extra booth, he slid into the wooden bench and sat Kendall next to him. She rested against him and tried to continue to sleep but Ethan just shook the toddler. "Hey Kenzie you need to wake up. Mommy's bringing you some milk and some food." But Kendall wasn't impressed by his words.
When Sutton came to the table to see her daughter still sleeping she narrowed her eyes, "Kendall, wake up!" She demanded.
Kendall's eyes shot open and she looked at her mom, "Nooo mommy, Me not hungry." she whined. But the second Sutton placed that juice box of chocolate almond milk in front of her, she reached for it and immediately began drinking. Ethan scooted out of the booth to retrieve his meal. When he returned, Kendall was sitting on her knees scooping some of her mac and cheese onto a plastic spoon and taking bites as pieces of macaroni fell onto the table, she'd drop her spoon and pick up the macaroni off the table.
He slid into the empty space next to Kendall and placed his plate on the table. He looked up at Sutton, "So how've you been?" He asked for lack of a better way to start the conversation.
"I want in." she said cutting to the chase. "I know you want to make my sister happy and I think maybe if we can at least get Savannah to be in the wedding- like a flower girl or something- then maybe Emma can feel like her entire family is there to celebrate."
Ethan twisted his face at her, "I don't think that will work." He said, his voice lowered and he looked down at his sandwich.
Sutton looked at him confused, "Why not? I think we can manage to sway her father to at least let Emma's daughter be in the wedding."
"For many reason's Sutton. But mostly because Emma and I aren't getting married." He fought back the tears. Her engagement still on the chain around his neck was tucked into his white V-neck tee.
"What do you mean you're not getting married? Of course you are, you're perfect for each other." She said narrowing her eyes at him.
"Look, I don't feel like talking about it." He reached for the chain around his neck, "She gave this back to me. She called it off."
Sutton shook her head, "No!" She protested, "That's insane. She is crazy about you. She wouldn't call off the wedding for no reason."
"She doesn't trust me." He said, he picked a chip from the bag that came with his meal and popped it in his mouth, crunching down slowly.
"Because of the whole Savannah thing?" Just then Kendall tossed her empty milk carton across the table and Sutton leaned down to pick it up, she gave her daughter a stern look, "Kendall Alexandra! That's not how we act when we go out to dinner." Kendall looked down but didn't say anything, she just picked up her spoon again and went back to her mac and cheese.
"That. Because I apparently went behind her back and slept with you… Three years ago." He shook his head at the absurdity of her accusations.
"So she can't trust you because we slept together after you two broke up? That's crazy! She can't hold that over your head when you two weren't even dating. Not too mention that it was before Kendall was even born. That was more than 3 years ago. She'll get over it, I know she will."
"She's been calling me all afternoon. I know she regrets what she said, but I can't take her outbursts anymore. This isn't the first time she's called off the wedding. I'm beginning to think she doesn't want this."
Sutton shook her head, "No, she wants it. She loves you. But I think waiting three years to finally tie the knot is giving her more reason to just not to do it. But Emma loves you. This much I know."
"I don't even want to think about it right now. I love her too, but this is getting ridiculous." He said. He pushed away his empty plate.
Sutton gave him an understanding look, "I'll talk to her." She said. She slid from her bench and took the empty plates to the trash, leaving Ethan to watch Kendall.
When she returned, Ethan was standing up holding Kendall in his arms. An elderly woman was smiling at her toddler, but Kendall just looked at her, her thumb in her mouth and her head on Ethan's shoulder, "Your daughter is gorgeous." The woman said.
"Oh thanks, but she's not my daughter. She's my friend's daughter." He said motioning to Sutton who now stood behind the woman.
The woman spun around and looked at Sutton, "Oh. Honey your daughter is beautiful." She said smiling.
Sutton smiled back at the woman, "Thank you." She said. She looked at Ethan, "I can take her if you want."
Ethan smiled, "She's fine. You ready to go?" Sutton nodded and they said good-bye to the woman who smiled once more at Kendall but Kendall wasn't impressed.
Emma sighed, a knock on the door startled her awake. When she opened her eyes the sun had set and night had set in. The house was dark and she turned on the side table lamp. She stood up as another knock at the door sounded. She poked her head in the window and a little girl stood on the other side. Emma unlocked the door and opened it staring at the little girl, "Um, hi." she said confused.
"Emma? Are you Emma Becker?" The little girl's voice was soft and sweet. Her hair was up in a big large top knot. She wore a white peplum top over a pair of black leggings and black knee high boots. She smiled at Emma.
"Yeah, I'm Emma. Who are you?" Emma said yawning.
"You're my mom." She said plainly, looking up hopefully at Emma.