Interview 1

Jasper walked into the museum office and sat down.

"You?" said the interviewer. "You're here for the security guard position?"

"Yes, I am."

"How old are you, seventeen?"

"Twenty-five," said Jasper firmly. "I have my references with me."

He filled the interviewer's mind with trust, and immediately the man responded, sitting up and smiling hugely.

Someone rapped hard on the office window behind Jasper. He turned around and saw Alice, Bella, and some friend of Bella's standing there.

Bella opened the door and leaned in. "Jasper, Jessica wants to know if you can really control yourself in a place of work."

"I need a job or I will go crazy," said Jasper. "I can't just farm rabbits for the next century. Besides, I went to high school for a few decades. And I stuffed cotton up my nose, so I can't smell."

He dampened the interviewer's confusion under a wave of happiness and eagerness to please.

"Aha!" said Jessica, pointing at the interviewer, who was now peppering Jasper's hand with kisses. "You're brainwashing him."

Alice gently picked Jessica up and put her outside the room before Jasper could do anything. "Jazzy, we've been thinking maybe it's unethical to brainwash people?"

"You never had a problem with using your powers for personal gain," Jasper pointed out, shoving the interviewer away.

"This isn't really my decision," said Alice in a chirp that was more of a growl. "Carlisle insisted I help with the intervention."

"So what do you say?" asked Bella, twisting her hands together with a hopeful look. "Maybe just a few times try interacting with humans without brainwashing them?"

This was not what convinced Jasper. What convinced Jasper was Alice twisting his arm and hissing, "If I don't get to gamble anymore, you don't get to brainwash potential employers."

"Fine," said Jasper. "I'll get the job normally. Watch and see."

He did not get the job.

The interviewer leaned forward, with his elbows on the table. "Look, son. It's good that you're looking for a job at your age, but that doesn't mean you should lie about how old you are. And to be perfectly honest, you need a lot more experience before you apply for a job like this."

Jasper scowled and stormed out.

Interview 2

At the mall, the interviewer paged through Jasper's resume. Her eyebrows kept rising higher with every section she reached.

She cleared her throat and lowered the papers to look at Jasper. "Well, you have a pretty . . . impressive resume. Military experience . . . Civil War expert . . . Degrees in history, philosophy, law and art . . . experience in big game hunting . . . and animal husbandry." She shook her head. "Huh."

Jasper waited, looking mildly constipated as usual.

"It's just," said the interviewer, "how . . . how old are you?"

"Twenty-five."

"Really?" The interviewer did not look like she believed him.

At that moment, Alice burst into the room. "Jazzy, you've got to see the fashion displays. It's like we're right back in the fifties!"

The interviewer tried to usher Jasper out. "Maybe you should go with your little sister."

Alice put her hands on her hips. "He's my husband!"

"Time to go," said Jasper, and rushed her out.

Interview 3

The next interview ended with the question "Don't you go to the local high school?"

Interview 4

How did Carlisle cope? He always managed to get a job as a doctor, wherever they went, despite looking like he was in his early twenties. And he didn't have any mind-controlling powers at all. Did he bribe people?

"If it's that bad, you can just come and work at the volunteer center with me," said Esme. "How is putting cotton up your nose working for you?"