AN: I know, I know, I know. Part THREE? But it was necessary. I think. This is the last part though, I promise. Everyone is back at Hogwarts after this.
Anyway, enjoy. :)
Chapter Twenty-one: Christmas Holidays (Part 3)
Remus was going to do it now. He was going to go talk to his parents. He wasn't going to put it off any longer. He was going to march down into the kitchen and tell them that he wasn't some fragile little kid that needed to be coddled all the time. He wasn't something that his mother needed to be afraid of. He was going to tell them that he was completely normal. Sure he turned into a raging monster once a month, but that didn't mean that he was like that during the other 27 to 30 other days of the month.
After building up his courage for almost an entire week, he was finally ready to have this conversation. He had played out how it would go in his head hundreds of times. He knew his parents were going to be upset, but he still had to do it. Coming home, even the thought of it, made Remus miserable and that's not the kind of relationship he wanted to have with his parents. He had to fix things.
He pulled his shirt down and flattened his hair as he marched out of his room.
When he made it to the kitchen, he was simultaneously relieved and terrified that both of his parents were already seated at the kitchen table. His mum had a cup of tea and his dad was reading the muggle newspaper.
"Hullo, dear." His mother said brightly when she saw him approaching. She quickly stood up and walked towards him. "Are you alright? Do you need anything?"
"I'm okay, mum." He said in a calm voice. "Actually, I need to talk to you." He looked over at his dad, who was peering at him over the top of his paper. "To both of you."
"Oh." His mum stopped short a few steps away from him. "Is everything alright?"
"Not exactly." Remus said, not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to worry her. "I think we should all sit down." He took a seat himself, directly in-between his parents.
"What's this about, Remus?" His dad asked, folding up the paper and setting it aside. "Do we need to take you to St. Mungo's?"
"No." Remus said, slightly less calm. He had been expecting this. This was always the central focus of their conversations. And if they weren't talking about it, they were thinking about it. "No, physically I'm okay." He said.
"Then what is it?" His mum asked, seeming almost completely perplexed that something else could be wrong.
"It's you two." Remus said, not bothering to beat around the bush. He took a deep breath as his parents digested this bit of information.
"Us?" His dad asked skeptically. "We're just dandy, Remus."
"It's really about all of us." Remus said. "Just listen," He added when his mum went to say something. "Just listen to me, please." His mum clasped her hands together and lay them on the table in front of her. When she nodded he took another deep breath.
"I'm a werewolf." He stated, it was nothing new but he was slightly disheartened about it all when his mum visibly flinched. "I've been a werewolf since I was four years old. So, almost as long as I can remember, but not quite. If I didn't have any memories of how things used to be before The Incident, then I might not be having this conversation with you right now." He paused for a moment and looked at each of his parents, hoping to see that at least one of them knew where this conversation was headed. However, both of them looked confused and uncomfortable.
"Mum, Dad, I'm not weak." His voice cracked a bit at the end and he took another deep breath. "I'm not just a werewolf. I'm a normal human boy most days of the month. I like to eat too much food and go to Quidditch games. I like getting into it with my mates. I like reading and I like learning. I like doing things that normal kids like to do. Not everything about me is defined by what happened that night. I'm a werewolf one night of every month, but that's it."
"We know this dear." His mum said quickly, looking at his dad as she spoke. "Of course we know this."
"I know that you do." Remus sighed. "But you don't act like you know this. If I'm hurt or unable to do something, I'll tell you. I won't like telling you, but I will. I know when I need help. I don't want to push my body more than I have too. But if I say I'm okay one minute, it's not going to change if you ask me again in five minutes.
"And for bloody sakes," He threw a hand through his hair. "I'd like to have one normal conversation with the two of you that didn't somehow involve my being a werewolf. I want to be a normal family. And I know that our normal wouldn't exactly fit along with everyone else's definition of normal, but I want something better than this. I don't' want to have to worry about how you two are going to react when I walk into a room. I don't want you to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me. I want us to be normal."
And quite suddenly his mother burst into tears. "Oh Remus!" She sobbed, getting up from her seat and walking over to him. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking!"
"Caroline," His dad said quietly. "I think this is what he's talking about."
"I'm sorry mum." Remus said, ignoring his father and allowing his mum to comfort him. "I didn't mean to be so blunt about it all."
"You're absolutely right, dear." She said, still petting his head. "You're right. We do need to have a bit of normalcy in this house. It would be good for all of us."
"I can do normal." His father nodded. "What do you want us to do?"
Remus grinned.
oOoOo
The living room at the Bakers was full. Not to the point where being in the room was uncomfortable for everyone there, but full to the point where a few people had to stand up. That was to be expected however, seeing as it was Christmas morning.
The older generation, by itself, was not at all that large. There was Tim and Lucy, Georgia and Wayne, and then Carlee's mother. That was it. Tim and Georgia were siblings and both of them, and Carlee's dad Tom, had wanted large families. And that's exactly what they got. Tim had eight children, Georgia had six, and Carlee had nine siblings. That brought the grand total up to thirty-one people over for Christmas. But that's before you take into account all of the grandkids. That added a little more than a dozen.
Needless to say, it was a very large living room.
And and intricately decorated one as well. The room was rectangular, with three large windows along the back wall, and one along the shorter right wall. On the shorter left wall, there was a stone fireplace and wooden mantle. There were six stockings hung on the mantle, all the other stockings were hung around the entire room covering most available wall surfaces. The Christmas tree stood tall and large in the back left corner of the room. But not entirely in the corner. It if were, there wouldn't be as much room around it's base for the mountain of presents pouring out under its branches. There were lights and decoration strung up everywhere, not just on the tree. It made the very large room seem very cozy.
Carlee was seated on the floor, wedged between her two younger brothers and the wall. She sat on the floor with the little kids so she wouldn't have to be anywhere near her mum. So far, that's how the holiday had been going. Carlee would babysit all the little kids to avoid people she didn't want to see and everyone seemed to be fine with that, sans two people. Daniel and Jane wouldn't stop trying to get her to talk to them, but as far as she was concerned, there was nothing to talk about. Jane wouldn't tell her what was going to happen and Daniel didn't know. They were useless.
"Can I open my presents now?" Zach asked from her right. "I don't think that Grandpa would mind much if we started without him."
"We're waiting." Tim, Carlee's uncle, said from the back of the room. He was seated, even though his very pregnant niece was standing next to him. "He'll be down in a moment, don't be so impatient."
"Mo-om." Zach called out, hoping his mother would give him a different answer.
"Listen to your Uncle, sweet heart." She said, she also had a seat at the back of the room. She was seated next to Bridget and both woman were holding babies. Bridget's babies. Carlee wondered why Bridget let their mother touch her children.
"I already know what you're getting." Seth, Carlee's other younger brother, said to Zach.
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"Nah-ah."
"Yes I do."
"I know what both of you are getting if you don't knock it off." Daniel said from behind them. He was much closer than Carlee had originally thought though and the sudden sound of his voice caused her to jump slightly. "Now shut up." They both looked put out, but they did stop bickering.
Eventually their grandfather did come into the room, wearing a bright red Santa hat and suspenders. He sat himself down on the floor in the middle of all the children and looked around the room at all the smiling faces. When his eyes found Carlee's, he winked at her. She smiled. Her grandparents were really quite wonderful people.
"Well, what are you all waiting for?" He asked, ruffling the hair of the closest grandchild. "It's time to open presents!"
There was a large rush, that quickly settled into familiar, somewhat strategic, chaos. The people closest to the large tree reached forward and grabbed the presents closest to them. They then read the name that was scrawled on the package and tossed it back in the direction that person was sitting. They did this until they found a present with their own name on it and then they would move to the back of the group, giving other people a chance to find a present.
Carlee stayed where she was and watched the scene unfold before her. She knew that if she sat here long enough, her presents would find their way to her. So, moving was simply unnecessary.
"Carlee," A small girl with blond pig-tails marched up to her with three presents stacked on top of one another. "The top two are yours." She said, dumping the gifts haphazardly onto Carlee's lap.
"Thanks, Bri." Carlee laughed. "Only found one of yours?"
"Joshua took one of mine and won't give it to me." She said sadly. "But I'm going to tell my mommy now."
"Sounds like a solid plan." Carlee nodded, schooling her features into mock sympathy. Brianna nodded.
"And then I will find my other presents."
"Best of luck." Carlee said.
"Thanks."
Brianna scuttled away, putting on her best heartbreaking face to tell her mother about her stolen present.
Carlee looked around and saw that most people around her were already ripping into their gifts so she decided that it was alright if she did as well. She picked up the top present and saw that it was from her grandmother. She ripped back the paper and was not at all surprised to find an intricately decorated, wooden, jewelry box.
"Wow." Daniel said, settling down in the recently vacated spot next to her. "I didn't see that one coming."
"Just because she always gets us jewelry boxes when we're thirteen doesn't mean that it's not still appreciated." Carlee said, rolling her eyes.
"I was just teasing." He said, bumping her shoulder with his own.
"What did you get?" She asked, setting her jewelry box down in front of her.
"Clothes and a some books."
"Anything interesting?"
"Nothing that isn't at Hogwarts." He shrugged. "I guess I'm not the easiest person to shop for."
"I got you a present." Carlee said. "Did you get mine?"
"I did not." He said, his brows crinkling together. "What did you get me a present for?"
"It's one of the perks of being one of my favorite siblings." Carlee shrugged. Having nine, it was a bit of a hassle trying to get everyone a present so most of the time no one bothered. They left that for the adults to worry about. "You get gifts." He laughed. "I put it in your room- well, your guest room."
"I'll go back and look for it when we're all done here." He assured her. "Now open your next one."
"Alright, alright." She picked up the next gift. It was from her mother. "Don't get your hopes up though. It's from mom." Daniel shrugged as Carlee inspected the package. It was a long, thin, hard something. But Carlee didn't have a clue what it could be. She peeled back the paper and was slightly frustrated that that did nothing to help her discover what this present was exactly.
"Carlee, wait!" She heard Jane shout out, but she didn't know where Jane was and she was too fixated on the thing in front of her to find out. She turned it over and her heart nearly jumped out of her throat. "Carlee!" Jane called again.
As Carlee read the inscription, some part of her brain realized that this was it. This was what Jane had been worried about. Jane was calling her now because she had finally decided to do something about it. But it was too late now.
To Tomas, Dylan and Eleanor Backer
Whose tragic deaths left their family devastated.
You are all loved and missed a great deal,
There isn't a day that goes by that we don't think of you,
That we don't wish that you were here with us.
Thank you for all you've done.
Your loving family.
"Do you like it?" She heard her mother call from across the room. "It's just a miniature one for the kitchen. There's a larger one in the ministry that has all of our names on it." When Carlee didn't respond she kept talking. "It also has engravings of them. It's a memorial."
Carlee felt like she was going to be sick. She was angry, she was devastated, she wanted to cry and to shout all at the same time, but she couldn't move. She couldn't force her mouth open enough to get any sound to come out.
Daniel didn't seem to be having the same problem. In a matter of seconds, he was on his feet. He grabbed Carlee by the arm and pulled her up to her feet. He dragged her towards the door but before they were out of the room, he turned around and looked directly at their mother.
"What gives you the right?" He asked, his voice quiet and dangerously calm. "Who the fuck do you think you are?" It was a testimony to how tense the room had gotten that not one person admonished him for swearing in front of all the children. He then ripped the stone plate out of Carlee's hands and threw it on the floor.
The sound of the stone shattering on the wooden floor shocked Carlee out of her silence. "It was your entire fault." She said, her voice just barely above a whisper. "It was your fault." A bit louder. She wasn't quite brave enough to say it out loud so she said the next best thing. "They would still be here if it wasn't for you!" She was almost shouting now. "It was your fault!" She repeated, because damn it all, it felt good to finally say aloud.
"I think that's enough." Her mother said, rising from her seat and taking a step towards the two of them. "Both of you apologize to the roo-" Daniel started laughing and gave Carlee's arm another tug.
"Stay away from us." He said. "I mean it. Stay the bloody hell away from us."
oOoOo
Liza Potter didn't say anything about having a talk with Sirius again until the day before they were set to go back to Hogwarts. The boy in question had been hoping that she had forgotten about her brief mention of need to a serious talk with him, but she did not.
The two of them were sitting alone in the kitchen with a kettle of tea and a plate of briskets between them. James had been sent off and Charles was at work and Sirius had never been more nervous while at James' house.
"Am I going to have to prod and poke until you spit it out, or are you just going to tell me?" She asked, picking up her cup and taking a sip.
"I don't really know what you want me to tell you." He said with a smile and a shrug.
"You know exactly what I want you to tell me." She said sharply. Her face softened when she added, "Sirius, I care about you a great deal, I want to help. But I can't continue to let you stay at my home without your parent's knowledge unless you give me good reason to."
Sirius clenched his jaw and looked resolutely down at the table. It was an old thick oak table with legs as wide as his own was. It made Sirius feel very small and when he spoke, he did so to the table. "They hate me." He said in barely a whisper. "And I'm not just being a sullen teenager when I say that, believe me, they honestly hate me." He glanced up at Liza and then back down to the table. "They hate that I'm in Gryffindor, they hate that I'm friends with James, they hate that I'm friends with Remus, that I associate with Muggle-borns and don't look down on them. They hate that I have my own opinions about the Death Eaters and Muggle-born rights. They hate that I refuse to sit in silence while these go on and on about what a shit family the McKinnon's are or when they talk about what a bang up job the Death Eaters are doing. They hate that I'm actually interested in Muggle stuff and that I like to make jokes. They hate that I'm on good terms with my Uncle Alfred and that I don't treat the house elves correctly. I do everything wrong in their eyes and they hate me for it."
Regulus went home for Christmas, Mrs. Potter. He went home and he probably sat at the table doing everything that he was trained to do. He nodded when appropriate and he didn't speak unless spoken too. My dad probably took him the Ministry Christmas party that his friends host every year and he probably showed him off, telling everyone how great Reg is doing in the Slytherin house and how he friends with the right sort of people and spending his time doing proper things." He paused and sighed. "I love my brother and I don't blame him for any of this, but they didn't even ask me to come home for Christmas."
Sirius hadn't meant to say that much, he hadn't thought he was going to say anything after the original, 'They hate me.' But apparently he'd been holding it all in for so long that he couldn't stop talking. "My mum thinks of me more as a nuisance and would probably be happier pretending that Reg is an only child." He laughed bitterly. "She actually tells some people that Reg's an only child. Probably not out right, but she implies it. I've had people walk up and ask me who I am before, while I'm standing with my family. And I'm not saying that to sound stuck up, but… they didn't even know my parents had a second son.
"I hate being at home and I hate feeling like I'm not wanted."
It was silent after that. Sirius out of things to say and Liza not yet ready to say anything in response. Sirius felt his cheeks flush when he realized just how much he had shared with her and glanced up to gauge her reaction. Her face was entirely impassive however and when she picked up her teacup again, she did so almost lazily. Sirius reached out and grabbed a biscuit, for he needed something to do with his hands.
After what felt like an eternity, she sighed and uttered a single word. "Travers." Sirius looked up, his embarrassment momentarily forgotten in his confusion.
"What?"
"My original name was Travers." She explained. "Elizabeth Travers. And I'm sure you've heard of the Travers family. I'm sure you've met them as well." She took another sip of her tea.
"You're a Travers?" Sirius asked dubiously. "Are you sure?"
Liza let out a small laughed and nodded. "Unfortunately, I'm one hundred percent sure. I could recite the family motto for you in German if you'd like. Or list off fifty of my ancestors in birth order starting with Grandfather Winston Travers who was born in 1703. I can tell you about my crazy Aunt Ezra who was actually imprisoned after killing three people in the ministry in an attempt to get rid of non-nobles who were in power. I could tell you about the dance lessons and the history lessons, the language lessons and the piano lessons. I could tell you about my brother and how he's most likely a death eater. I could tell you about a very awkward speech that took place at my wedding. I could tell you about my first engagement and how I finally ran away, but you know what Sirius? None of it matters anymore."
"Donald Travers is you brother?" Sirius asked, still a bit too shocked to take in much else she was saying. She nodded patiently and Sirius just shook his head. "I don't believe it."
"I know what you're going through, Sirius." She said quietly, looking into her teacup. "I remember how difficult growing up was." Sirius blinked a few times and shook his head, to clear it this time.
"I suppose you do." He sighed, slouching back in his chair. "I'm not nearly as embarrassed anymore." Liza smiled.
"Good. Embarrassing you was never my plan." She set her cup down and leaned forward so she was resting on her elbows. "You're always welcomed here, Sirius. Whenever being at home gets to be too much for you, or you don't want to spend a holiday alone at Hogwarts, we would love to have you here. The house is far too large for only three people anyway."
He looked back at the leg of the table and pressed his lips together. He knew what she was doing and it meant a lot to him. He wasn't sure that he could talk at the moment so he just nodded, still looking down.
"You're a good kid." She said, standing up from the table. She then walked around to Sirius's side of the table and kissed the top of his head. Sirius felt his cheeks grow hot and froze. "And I'm glad that you and James are friends." Without saying anything else, she walked out of the room and left him to his thoughts.
oOoOo
To say that things were a bit tense for everyone upon returning to Hogwarts would have been an understatement. Savanna hadn't said a word the entire train ride, Carlee was nowhere to be found, but Mary had ran into Daniel who had promised that she was on the train at least. Sirius hadn't said a word to James since the day before, Peter was oddly distant and Mary was just in a sour mood.
So it was not so surprising when James and Remus decided to go find the food trolley without Sirius and Peter. Nor was it surprising when they found Lily buying some sweets alone.
"Hullo Evans." James said with a cheerful grin, the moment he recognized the back of her head. Lily swiveled at the sound of her surname to look around for who had addressed her. When her eyes found James and a smile broke out on her face as well, he cursed his stomach for flipping around.
"Potter," She said with a nod. "And Remus, it's nice to see you two."
"Nice to see you as well, Lily." Remus smiled. "Pardon me, I'm just going to get some pumpkin pasties."
"Right." Lily said, stepping out of his way so he could get around her and to the cart.
"How were your hols?" James asked, leaning up against the wall of the compartment and crossing his arms. "Any wig-less relatives this year?"
Lily looked momentarily confused but then she laughed. "I'd forgotten that I told you about that. Sadly Great Aunt Judith kept her wig on this year. All I had for entertainment was my dad's cousin's kids breaking into song every three seconds and asking when Santa was coming."
"That sounds… horrible."
"It was alright. There were a lot of sweets to make up for it. And whenever they got to out of control, my mum told them that she hid peppermint sticks in the snow and so they would leave to go find them."
"Smart woman your mother."
"Well, I had to get it from somewhere." Lily said, tilting her head in the air and flipping her hair over her shoulder.
"Now it all makes sense." James nodded solemnly. Then Lily cracked a smile and James grinned.
"What about you? Did you have fun over the hols?"
"Sure." James nodded. "Though things are never really dull when Sirius is around. We also hosted a new year's party on top of some other holiday themed dinner's my mum did. She actually bothered to tell them to bring their kids this year so we got to have a few Quidditch games over break with more than just two people."
"That's nice for you." Lily said.
"It was. And don't let me forget to berate Mary into trying out for the house team next year. She's a brilliant flier."
"Yeah?" Lily said. "I've told her that she should do it the last time there were try-outs. She loves Quidditch, won't shut up about it half the time."
"Well then you lay into her too. Together we'll get her to do it if only to make us leave her alone." Lily nodded in agreement.
"You can be fairly annoying. Imagine the damage you could do if you were actually trying." Paying attention to little beside Lily's growing smile, James started nodding along with her.
"Oi!" He cried out when he realized what she was saying. "If I'm bothering you…" He trailed off and made to leave.
"You're not bothering me, I'm just teasing." Lily said, reaching out and grabbing his arm. "And don't leave. All of my friends are in a mood. If you leave, I'm going to end up riding the train by myself."
"You're friends are in a mood too?" James asked. "Sirius and Peter won't talk to me at all."
"I suppose the hols aren't fun for everyone." Lily said with a sigh.
"Your chocolate frogs." Remus made his re-entrance and handed James a couple chocolate frogs.
"Did you have a nice time at home?" Lily asked him. Remus nodded, but didn't much elaborate.
"It was nice to be home." He said, stuffing all but one pumpkin pasty into his clock pocket. The one that remain, he tore out of the wrapper and filled his mouth with the sweet leaving him incapable of saying anything else.
"I'm glad we're going back too." Lily said, smirking slightly at Remus's surprised face. "Home was nice, but Hogwarts is better."
"I didn't even say anything." Remus said after he forced himself to swallow. "Why did you say that?"
"I'm mates with Carlee," Lily said with an eye roll. "I've gotten fairly perceptive."
"He wasn't really that subtle." James said with a shrug.
"That's fair." Lily nodded. "You two want to find a compartment? Or are you going back to your mates and leaving me to go back to mine?"
They ended up in a compartment that was mostly empty, sans a pair of Ravenclaw sixth year girls, who didn't seem to mind their company. James, Lily and Remus played Exploding Snap while eating their sweets until the train rolled into the Hogsmeade station.
It wasn't until they were stepping off the train that they saw the aurors.
AN: And reviews are, as always, welcomed. :)