A/N: Sorry for the delay, folks; I hit a little block.

Chapter 21

Shego really wasn't sure why she was driving Ron to school. Probably because that's what Kim would have done. She did have a role to play, after all, even if it was a chore at times.

"What's she doing here?" Shego nodded her head towards Veronica in the back seat. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't go to school here."

"You don't want her to miss out on all the fun, do you?"

"School isn't fun. Wait, you know that. Were you being sarcastic?"

"I'm not talking about classes. I'm talking about hanging with the ladies. Ron-Man is back on the market, after all."

"Yeah, there are a lot of hotties at this school. Like Amelia. Rrowr."

"No, she graduated already."

"Aww, man..."

"Also, you aren't supposed to know any of their names," Shego pointed out. "You don't want to come across as a stalker by letting slip information you shouldn't have. Take it from somebody who—I mean, it's just common sense."

"Good point. I'm Ron's cousin, by the way."

"That's not how you spell 'clone'."

"No, it's my cover."

"You 'ave no cov—wait, what am I doing?"

"Driving us to school."

"So you can introduce your cousin to the ladies. Are you sure you want her around for competition?"

"Oh, come on, they can't all be into girls."

"Let's just say you don't necessarily want to give them the option."

"It's a free country, let's just see which one of us they prefer."

"It's going to be me, you'll see."

Shego expected the answer to be 'neither'. Veronica was easy enough on the eye, but she had enough Ron in her to get in her way. Then again, teen girls had basically no sense, and there was no accounting for taste. Even in her short time here she had seen a couple of girls try to approach Ron. He had brushed them off, apparently oblivious to their interest—teen boys had even less sense.

After Shego parked the car, the three of them walked in together. The first stop was Kim's locker, as usual. As happened surprisingly often, Bonnie was hanging out nearby with a couple of her minions. Maybe her locker was there, Shego wasn't really sure.

"Who's this? Another charity case? I don't recognize her."

"Don't worry, Princess, I have enough charity for both of you. I'm a giver." Shego wasn't quite sure herself what that even meant, but it seemed to annoy Bonnie just fine.

"Will you stop calling me that." The way she stomped her little foot was pretty cute.

"Fine, Cupcake. I'm charitable like that."

"She's my cousin, Bon-Bon. I'm just showing her around in case she starts school here."

"Oh, great, the losers are multiplying."

"Why are you so mean? You don't even know me."

"Yeah, Bon-Bon, that was uncalled for," Shego said. "You're not very good at getting along with people, are you? No wonder the squad unanimously decided to drop your routine."

"Bite me."

"If you insist." The predatory grin Shego gave her was maybe not quite Kim-like, but she felt it was very much called for.

"You're a freak, Kim." Bonnie looked a little taken back and left without a further comment. She still looked good walking away.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Shego called after her.

Monique walked up to the group. "You do have a way of handling Bonnie, but have you considered the situation you're putting, uh, yourself in?"

"I can handle it. I can do anything."

"I'm sure." Monique turned to Veronica. "Hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Monique."

"I know. I'm very glad to meet you."

Veronica took Monique's hand and leaned down with a flourish to bring it to her lips, but lost her balance in the process. She tried to arrest her fall by grabbing onto Ron, but only succeeded in bringing down his pants with her.

"Oh, man!"

"A relation of yours, Ron?"

"This is Veronica," Ron said as he pulled his pants back on. "She's my, uh, cousin."

"She's Ron's sex-swapped clone," Shego said, knowing there wasn't anyone in the hearing range. "Didn't anybody remember to tell you?"

Monique eyed Veronica who tried to pretend she hadn't just fallen over. "No, I guess I'm out of the loop lately."

"Well, now you know. If it makes you feel better, Veronica probably needs a wardrobe."

Monique's eyes lit up. "It does, actually." Then she sobered. "If she's also inherited his fashion sense, it might be quite the task."

"I'll happily place myself into your hands, pretty lady."

"Why is she hitting on me?"

"Because she has more taste than sense?"

"Hey!"

Monique looked at Shego skeptically. "I'm not sure if I should feel flattered, or not."

"Don't worry your pretty little head with it. I think it's time to head for class, anyway." Shego effected a quick getaway.

Shego supposed she was getting acclimatised to high school again, as the morning classes didn't seem quite as unbearable as they had a week before. It possibly helped that it was only Tuesday. Either way, she had made it halfway through the school day unscathed. She headed for the cafeteria to meet the rest of the gang.

"So did you ever call your sensei?" Shego asked as she unpacked the lunch she'd sensibly brought with her.

"Oh! Yeah, I did. Sensei said he'd meet you both to see if he could help you."

"Why didn't you mention that sooner?"

"I forgot?"

"How could you forget something that important?"

"I've had a lot of things on my mind lately, okay?"

Shego supposed that between finding out her crush was a lesbian and dating an enemy, and gaining an opposite sex clone of himself, he might have a point. "I guess you aren't used to entertaining very many thoughts at a time."

"Hey!"

"What?"

"You just made fun of me."

"Did I?"

"Yeah."

"Or... did I?"

"You know you did."

"But do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Exactly."

Monique looked up from her meal. "You two are a lot alike."

"Hey!" Shego and Ron said in one voice.

"I rest my case."

Veronica had followed the exchange leaning on her elbows and resting her head in her hands. "I guess that means that if KP wasn't gay she might have fallen for you instead, Ron." Veronica's face brightened with a smile. "Maybe that means I have a shot."

"She sure is popular."

Monique's tone was strangely flat. Shego wondered if she was jealous, and if so, who she was jealous of. In any case it was clear Kim had a lot of options if she ever got tired of her. Well, she'd just have to make sure to keep Kim happy enough so that didn't happen. It wasn't like she'd planned on doing anything else, anyway.

Shego was at Kim's locker at the end of the day when Tara caught up with her, already in her cheerleader uniform.

"You're taking over the practice today, right, Kim?"

"I'm really sorry, Tara, but I can't. Something really big is up." Shego had been under the impression they had practice only every other day. Did they have extra sessions for some reason?

"Yeah: the regionals. They're at the end of the week, Kim. We don't have that much time left."

"I know." That was technically true; she did know, now. "You just need to do hold the fort a little longer."

"We really need you, Kim."

"I believe in you, Tara. You've done such a good job so far."

"I've done what I can, but it's not the same." Tare looked up into her eyes. "You're amazing, Kim. None of us can take your place, no matter what Bonnie says. I... we all miss you."

The look in Tara's eyes made Shego unwilling to disappoint her. She was considering how to answer her when she was interrupted by the arrival of Ron and Veronica.

"Oh, hi, Tara."

"Hi. Do I know you?"

"We haven't met, but I've heard a lot about the prettiest cheerleader, and I knew you couldn't be anyone else."

"Oh... thank you." Tara blushed prettily. Maybe she wasn't used to being complimented by girls.

"I'm Veronica. I'm Ron's cousin and I've just moved here."

"Oh. Will you be attending Middleton High?"

"I sure hope so, I'd love to see more of you."

"Uh..."

"Yeah, I think we need to get going," Shego said. "You know how it is, sitches be crazy."

"Kim..."

"Next time, Tara. I promise."

Shego felt a little guilty as she herded Ron and Veronica towards the parking lot. If this chance fell through, maybe she really needed to try to have Kim talk her through the cheer practice through an earpiece. She was considering the logistics involved when Monique caught up with them.

"Hey, wait up. I thought we agreed to meet up by the lockers."

"Uh, sorry, Monique, I just thought the female population of the school could use a break from these two." She ignored the chorused protestations.

"I can see that. What's the plan?"

"I called Kim earlier, and she said she'd make it here by five. We have plenty of time to drop you and Veronica at the mall, and maybe grab a bite."

"Ooh. I call Bueno Nacho."

"But of course you do."

"It'd be more fun to eat something together at the mall," Veronica said.

"Yes," Shego said as she got in the car. "That."

"You people just don't appreciate the awesomeness that is Bueno Nacho." Ron seated himself on the back seat and turned towards Veronica. "Even you. Aren't you supposed to be my clone?"

"I'm not an exact copy, you know."

"Vive la différence," Shego said as she started up the car.

"It's a shame you two can't stay. The girl needs a lot of clothes, and it would have been handy to have you two to carry them."

"Sorry to disappoint, but I've a prior engagement." Shego glanced at Monique. "Do you often make Kimmie carry your shopping bags?"

Monique turned to look out the window. "Well, you know, she is stronger than me."

"Uh-huh."

Once Shego had chauffeured Monique and Veronica to the local teen mecca and enjoyed a meal not dripping with grease, the clock was nearing five, and Shego and Ron drove to his house.

"Uh, maybe the backyard will do? That way I don't have to explain to my parents why I'm sneaking a criminal into my room."

"Works for me; that way I don't need to see your room."

"It's a perfectly good room. If maybe a little messy."

"I'm sure."

"This is the backyard," Ron said, like it had needed pointing out. "That's the tree house. You want to go in?"

"No thanks, I have bad experiences with them."

"Kim's been there lots of times."

"You were hoping she'd kiss you, weren't you?"

"I didn't know she was into girls."

"That's on you; it was pretty obvious."

"Maybe to... what's that noise?"

"Sounds like a helicopter."

Shego looked up, and spotted a black helicopter approaching. It was big and bulky, and rather disconcertingly had a cannon mounted under the cockpit. Shego reflexively tried to activate her Glow, only to remember that she wasn't in her body.

A door on the side of the helicopter opened, and a familiar figure dove out, activating a low-altitude parachute and executing a perfect jump right in the middle of the yard. The helicopter curved away.

"Miss me, honey?"

"I think I preferred it when we had to sneak around. What's with the chopper?"

"It's one of Professor Dementor's helicopter drones. I stole them for Dr. Drakken."

"You did? I'm impressed, Kimmie."

"I though you might be." Kim gave her the smug look Shego knew so well, apparently unconcerned about this latest bout of villainy. Shego experienced an urge to jump her bones right then and there. "What about you? Have you been a good girl?"

"I have, too. I think I deserve some sort of a reward."

"It's not really being good if you do it for rewards, Shego, but maybe I'll give you a little treat anyway. You know, to encourage further good behavior."

"I understand. It's not like you would do it for any selfish reasons."

"You do remember you two aren't alone, right? I'd tell you to get a room, except eww, and also Sensei is here any minute."

"You keep on pretending you don't find the idea of two of us having steamy lesbian sex totally hot."

"Shego."

"Am I wrong, Kimmie? Okay, if there's a person here who doesn't get hot thinking about me and Kimmie going at it, raise your hand. Yeah, didn't think so."

"What about Rufus?"

"That's a paw, not a hand."

"Ah, Stoppable-san, Rufus-san. I see you are well."

Shego spun around at the voice, to be faced with a foating transparent figure of an old Japanese man with a long white beard.

"Sensei!"

"It is an honor to meet you again, Stoppable-san."

"Wow. He really does have a sensei."

"You're a little more translucent than I expected. Is this... astral projection?"

"You are very perceptive, Kim Possible, as expected of the famous teen heroine."

"You can tell which one I am?"

"Stoppable-san informed me of your situation, and now that I am here I can clearly perceive your aura."

"Wow. Uh, thank you for agreeing to help us."

"Think nothing of it. I only ask that you keep the nature of Yamanouchi secret."

"You can trust us." Kim looked sideways. "Right?"

"Hey, if you can sort our problem out, I have no problem keeping your secrets. So, you can tell that our minds have been swapped?"

"Not only your minds, but your very essence. Your souls, if you prefer the term. If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say that your souls returned to the wrong bodies. It is not a common occurrence, but it has been known to have happened before, to neophytes in the art under certain circumstances."

"But we didn't do any astral projection. A machine did this to us."

"A machine that can induce astral projection in people lacking the skill? I would not have believed such a thing to be possible. Could I see this marvelous machine?"

"It got destroyed. That's why we're stuck like this."

"Ah. Was Stoppable-san involved?"

"Yup."

The incorporeal teacher nodded sagely. "Then perhaps the machine was meant to be destroyed."

"I'm not sure that's how Ron works."

"Surely your experience has taught you both much."

"Things have been learned, yes. But how will we get back to normal without the machine? Can you, like, zap us back?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, but the problem isn't insuperable. All you need to do is to learn astral projection, as you call it."

"That simple, huh? How long did it take you?"

"I learned the art through decades after decades of meditation, but it is not necessary for you to attain even my modest level of skill. Your souls are still anchored to their proper vessels, and it should not require a great effort to restore them there. You are both martial artists, so I assume you are familiar with meditation."

"Yeah, uh, I never really bothered with that woo stuff."

Shego turned towards Kim. Maybe it would be enough if one of them learned to do that. Kim looked down as she twisted her foot around.

"I had so much to do, I didn't have time to sit around doing nothing for hours on end."

"Ah," the sensei said. "Perhaps this will be a little trickier than I thought."

"You can help us, right?"

"I cannot maintain my projection indefinitely. It will be Stoppable-san's honor to teach you the rudiments of meditation. Once you have learned to reach the right state of mind, I will return to guide you in the art of astral projection."

With that, the translucent image of the old man faded away. Shego, Kim and Ron looked at each other. Shego took it upon herself to put into words what all of them were thinking. "Yep, we're screwed."