AN:I loved writing this. I enjoyed the reviews as well the last chapter, I got so many of them! It was an pleasant sensation.
Warnings: lots of blood, sadness, drama, gore, sappiness, and I don't own this the rights to Dragon Age fiction or the universe. I think I own my interpratation of Mahariel though. Just saying.
Also I tried to use my document of text and put it in a Spell and Grammar check. In the process of doing that I ended up with two t errors. Such as for example 'won't't.
"Sorrow makes us all children again - destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Her eyes were dry from being held open for several moments. The Darkspawn corpses were surrounding the ground beneath their feet, it was littered with blood oozing from the corpses. There was the half moon glowing in the sky on and off as barely any clouds past it.
Her companions in the evening were attacked strangely by Darkspawn. Everyone fended off the lot of them. There was one left standing, a bit ugly because of how long it seemed to be rotting. But darkspawn spoke?
Dog sat near Mahariel, right next to her leg and he looked up at her with sad eyes. He whined loudly. She was ignoring him and that wasn't't what was bothering him. He cocked his head to the side a little.
Zevran flexed his shoulders after putting one of his throwing daggers into his belt. He looked upon the other elf curiously. He was confused. His eyes shifted to the walking corpse and Mahariel, who were staring at each other. He crossed his arms after standing beside her and raised his eyebrow.
The other companions gathered around Mahariel. They were all wondering why she seemed zombified. Sten was complaining about how we were leaving the corpse she was staring at alive. Shale was amused. The bard and Alistair were concerned. And Wynn merely sighed.
"What? She wants to bed walking corpses now? What on earth is wrong?" He thought to himself. He attempted to pull her neck caringly against his chest but she had already moved away. He pouted.
"--" The talking corpse was about to request something. Zevran was also about to do that. He took a step forward after he but stopped, taken aback by the corpse's choice of name. He glared at it's charred face. It was so ugly. Could he be…?
"Tamlen." She almost shrieked. She was clueless to his injuries, his pain, and his flinching. She felt a mix of relief, immense joy and surprise. She hadn't't felt this way in a long time. She pulled down and they both ended up on their knees, on the ground that is.
"Tamlen?" Zevran repeated sourly in his head when he heard her say that. "What in the maker's name…? You are kidding me yes? That cannot be… That's Tamlen? Great. Just wonderful. My competition is a rotting corpse. I thought she killed him? Didn't't she say she killed him?"
Mahariel held him tightly to her. He attempted to hold her back but his arms were limp. She took his head in her hands and looked deeply into his eyes. She examined his face when he pulled it away. "You're are actually alive." She said fondly. There was moment's pause.
"Shem!" She called to Wynn looking back at her. "Heal Tamlen." She demanded. Before she could protest she said "now!" Her eyes flickered to her childhood friend when he swiftly backed away. Her confused brows furrowed and there was a look of concern in her eyes. His returned gaze was sadder.
"He's too far gone Mahariel." Alistair hinted in a loud voice. His tone sad and sympathetic.
"Shut up!" She snapped at him. Her eyes didn't turn from Tamlen's. "What's wrong Tamlen?" She wondered. "You-"
"Kill me-" His request caused her eyes to expand. Her heart stopped for a moment and slowed. Her brain work almost snapped and she was feeling a little dazed. She didn't want to hear this, not now, not now when he's alive right in front of her… kneeling right in front of her. He's so near.
"Very funny." She commented sourly. "You always were the rash idiot. You know I am not going to do-"
Tamlen pressed her cheek swiftly and embraced her tightly. "I always-" He stopped.
"You are always wrong Tamlen." Mahariel her snappish lecturing toward him was very loud. "Always, always wrong. Like right now the shem will heal you. It's a shem yes. But don't let your pride get in the way she-" She held him tightly.
Zevran's aim was perfect, he hit the corpse's neck with his throwing dagger just right. There was a look of instant pain on her face as Tamlen's blood splashed onto it. Her hands dropped to her sides and she felt numb. His body did not fall to the ground but she felt his heart had stopped beating. Her childhood friend's dead body still clung to her lifelessly.
There was long worried silence as she continued her immobility. Zevran knelt down next to her with a guilty expression on his face, though it only formed once he saw the mute tears leaking from her eyes. He attempted to hold her but she quickly pushed him away. He fell to the side on his butt, biting his lip.
"Mahariel I-" He paused.
Mahariel held Tamlen in her arms and didn't let her go. As the two hours past her companions tried to talk to her or nudge her away, but she didn't budge or move at all. One by one they gave up each going into their tents to sleep. Zevran, though annoyed with the situation stayed sitting beside her. He was kind of helpless in this situation. He didn't know what to do.
Zevran almost said something but stopped himself. He watched the one he fancied lay out the ugly corpse of this Tamlen in front of her. After about a few moments she held him, laying by his side and laying her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and she seemed rather peaceful.
He attempted to say a few things to her but gave up because she refused to speak to him. He laid on the other side of the dead Tamlen that Mahariel possessively held. He laid on his side and rested his frowning head on his hand. He watched her closed eyes and her restful breathing. She was asleep.
"I am glad this Tamlen is dead. It will make my pursuing of a relationship with her less complicated. I wonder how she is feeling? Was she guilty over Tamlen's death, or did he somehow escape making her think she killed him? So doesn't't his death at someone else's hand relieve her of that guilt? Why cannot she hold me like that so peacefully looking? And why an corpse? She must have cared for this ugly fool very much. It's ironic. No? Oh why didn't some bandits kill this Tamlen, if he was indeed half-turned in a darkspawn. She seemed to think him dead. So what happens now? She opened up to me about a day ago. And I thought my luck turned." Zevran thought.
–
"We have to burn his corpse Mahariel." Wynn tried to say soothingly. The three elves were in the same position as three days ago. The other companions brought them food, and sometimes Zevran had to leave to go use the lo, an bush that is. Mahariel wasn't't eating however much to everyone else's dismay.
Wynn was sitting behind her on her butt, holding her legs. "I doubt she will give you the time of day. You're a shem to her after all. Besides. Why would she talk to you if she's not talking to me?" His words were sour.
"She has to eat soon."
"…" Mahariel said nothing in reply.
"Come child. You have been holding Tamlen for days. The least you can do for his body is to hold a funeral for him, yes? And then you can honor his-" Wynn attempted to explain.
"He's not dead…" Mahariel countered.
–
"You know…" The bard said cheerfully. She was sitting in the place Wynn left. Zevran hadn't't moved. "This would make a good story. You know Mahariel could just kill herself and then-"
"Kill herself? You really are mad Leliana."
"Oh I know how much you adore her Zevran. But wouldn't't it be romantic if she killed herself to join Tamlen in the-?"
"Romantic? You really are daft. She isn't't in need of romance. She is in need of time."
"It's so romantic how you don't leave her side, even though she is utterly ignoring and holding on to a dead man. So if she were to kill herself-?"
"She's not going to."
"Are you sure?"
"As pretty as your hair makes you, I suppose beauty does limit intelligence. You are far less mentally capable than ever." Zevran was sarcastic and very annoyed. The thought of Mahariel dying, and the bard constantly bringing up the possibility annoyed him.
–
"Are you ever going to let him go?" Zevran prodded. He had gotten up in the evening to take a whiz, have something to eat and then resume his lying position as before. She had only spoken once in the last four days. This was getting troublesome. He tried to get her to eat once, but she didn't.
The sky was moonless and cloudy, few stars could be seen. The three elves were lying in the snow. Zevran had put a thick blanket on the two of them a long while ago. He was wearing thicker leather to shield him from the cold snow. The other companions were sleeping in their tents. Tamlen's skin was fading and the only covering his bones had were his tattered armor.
He was pleased to find her eyes finally snapped open even if it was only to glare at him. A few minutes past before anything was said. "Let him go?" Her voice was weak. "After he's finally here? After I realized I didn't kill him? Why the hell would I want to do that?"
"Because you are growing scrawny without food for days. Your face and hair is caked with Tamlen's blood. Your appearance is getting rather unsightly. I could name other reasons that should be obvious to you." Zevran commented.
"Why do you care?"
"Why do I indeed?"
"You haven't left my side-"
"It's interesting how you care so much for a corpse! It's so ugly and rotting."
"Of course you wouldn't't understand."
"I wonder what you mean by that."
"You only care about pretty things, sex and simple things."
"And you would be wrong about that my dear. Do you have feeling for this dead corpse I wonder? I think perhaps I could relate just a little to your problem." He stated that last sentence weakly.
"How so?"
"I did care for someone once. That someone died. By my hand. But can you relate to that situation? You didn't kill your Tamlen."
"I thought I did… I didn't though. And now he's dead. That was your doing wasn't't it? You just had to kill him. Right when I find him again alive."
"I killed him because he requested it. How your smooth face contorts with such anger! But here me out dear. I killed him to spare you the pain in the long run. He was probably about to die anyway. He was in pain. He is a darkspawn or… in some sort of ugly weird state."
"No… he… he wasn't't going to die. Wynn, the shem, she could have healed him. She could have-"
"There's no cure for the blight my dear."
"But…"
"We haven't invented time travel yet either."
"I know."
"You do?"
"Did… you really… kill someone you cared about before? You cared about someone before?"
"Yes…" Zevran was weak with the memory of Riena.
It was tempting to explain it to her. This conversation was by far the longest civil one they had, had. Perhaps it would open her up a little if he explained it with empathy? He was somewhat reluctant to. What would she think of him?
"You don't have to explain it."
"Why the sympathy and compassion after I killed your lover?"
"He… wasn't't my lover."
"Wasn't't?"
"No."
"Ah I couldn't't say the same thing about Riena."
"Who?"
"You know all those assassination stories I told you about? And then the one I was reluctant to you and you didn't probe?"
"Yes…"
"I will explain it to you if I may. Ah you nod? Good." He explained. As he continued to explain about Riena, the other elf, how he killed her after he found out about what he assumed she did and all of it. His fancy for her, the conflicting emotions and so on.
As he did so she had finally let go of Tamlen. She weakly sat next to him holding his hand and he rather gleefully took hers. She listened kindly without saying much. The elves leaned inward toward each other.
"Ah. Does the one I fancy now pity me?" Zevran wondered weakly. He wasn't't sure what her reaction was going to be. She hadn't't said much. And she even stopped embracing the corpse. He was for some reason, relieved when she shook her head.
"I killed Tamlen. Or at least I thought I did. When I did I felt the way you described." She explained.
Zevran didn't respond. He was comforted however by explaining his story and her empathy. She took his listening silence as a push to continue. He was also grateful she was confiding in him.
"I wanted to die." She admitted. "The Blight would have done that, wouldn't't it of? When Duncan the Grey Warden recruited me, or conscripted me rather… I so badly wanted to stay with my clan instead, to look for Tamlen.
'After a long time I was convinced he was dead. So I decided I might die while ending the Blight. Hopefully anyway."
"But you didn't?" Zevran noted that one. He was thankful she didn't.
"It was kind of like what you said. An mark, me, saved you or spared you rather. And then you spared me."
When she admitted her feelings, her eyes looked away, her face turned and she seemed to shy away from this. Zevran gently held her chin and brought it closer to him. She blushed, her eyes seemed to say. 'I am thinking something I shouldn't't be.
"Hum?"
"Never mind."
"No enlighten me." His sultry voice prodded her.
"Your entertaining stupidity is a reason to live I suppose." She lied or at least wasn't't telling the whole truth. "And I cannot forget the dog." She explained. "Where would he be without his mistress? He doesn't't like you obviously. He would have no one. That would be shame. Wouldn't't it?"
"Yes. It would be a shame for me as well."
"It would?"
"You sound so hopeful Mahariel."
"…"
"But yes. Indeed it would. Your cheeks wouldn't't be able to flush away with shy embarrassment whenever I spoke would they? An rotting corpse has expressionless eyes and skin. In fact dead skin cannot heat up like yours are doing so powerfully now can they?"
"No… I… suppose not." After she finished speaking Zevran held her gaze lovingly for a few moments. They drew nearer to each other's lips. His forehead stopped, leaning against hers. They both heard her stomach growl, interrupting their intimate moment.
They both chuckled. Zevran was relieved to hear that lovely sound. The sound of her amusement. They both felt just a little lighter.
"Even hundredfold grief is divisible by love."
~Jareb Teague
AN: So what happens now I wonder? What would anyone want to happen I wonder? Who knows?
This is in celebration of my sixty reviews! THANK YOU! Also I liked these ones. The ones for the last chapter. And I also updating quickly because the last one was way to short. I might take a break for about week. I don't know. I LOVE to write. My fingers feel a little nut cracky.