A Home and A Birthday

The Circle conducted their investigations without me. There was no word on what happened to the photographer but as for myself. The boys decided it was time for me to move.

In Tamaki's words, "If the enemy knows where you are, run away."

Perfect. I didn't even know I had enemies. I didn't think I attracted too much attention. This is so annoying.

Honey was so sweet about it when he called me. I know it hurt his feelings to tell me that the others in the circle couldn't come by my apartment ever again. In case the scenario should repeat. He said that together they had picked out a new place for me to live closer to the Suoh estate. It was gated and it was not an apartment at all.

I sighed in defeat when I realized that the place they chose for me was a house. A full on, expensive as hell house. With key pad access to get into the grounds. That way I know when someone drops by. It's gonna be a pain to get the mail everyday.

The only thing I can be glad of is that the place wasn't ostentatious. There was a nice simplicity and hominess about it. I had Kaoru to thank for that. After all these long years, he gets me.

So it stands to reason that Kaoru was the one who helped me pack up my little apartment. I was a little sad by this since this place was something I worked hard for. Well... I worked hard for it when I was at the law firm. I make more money with this job, and I was more than aware that I could get a better place. I just didn't care to do it.

Hell, sometimes I forget that I don't need to look for sales at the supermarket. I guess some habits are just hard to break.

I was in the bedroom folding my cloths and putting them into large boxes when Kaoru knocked on my door.

"Hey Haruhi."

"Oh, Hey." I glanced at him over my shoulder. "Thanks for all this." I gestured to the boxes, indicating that I appreciate the packing help. Of course he knew what I meant.

"No problem. I'd do anything for you. You know that." He smiled at me. "Uh, where do you want me to start?"

I thought for a moment then shrugged. "Wherever. I have some things on the top of the closet that I haven't pulled down yet."

While he passed me on his way to my closet I felt his hand place itself on my hip as he pecked a kiss on my cheek. I smiled at the gesture while I watched him. Somewhat forgetting that I was supposed to be packing my clothes.

He really does take good care of me. I mused at the thought and wondered why he hasn't tried more than a few cuddles and kisses in such a long time. I enjoy spending all this time with him but I kinda miss him as my lover. What gives?

Kaoru noticed me staring at him. I wasn't hiding it, I'm terrible at hiding that kind of thing. He ended up doing a double take at my obvious gaping. The hand that was pulling down a stack of photo albums slipped and the albums nearly landed on his head. Luckily, his quick reflexes had him dodging them in time.

"Shit!" He exclaimed as he noticed that the photos that weren't secure had slipped from the books and were now all over my closet floor. "Sorry, Haru."

"It's all right. My fault in the first place for leaving them up there." I smiled at him, it was my fault in the first place that he had dropped them. I was openly staring at him, after all.

He bent down to pick up the scattered photos. "Hey, you still have these?"

I had gone over to help him before he spoke and since I was beside him already I crouched down with my hands hugging my knees. I peered over his shoulder to see old high school photos. Not very flattering photo's either.

I laughed, "Of course." I took one of the pictures from him. It had me with my short self cut hair, glasses and one of my dads old sweaters. This was me. That was what I was before I met the boys. I didn't care how I looked. Hell, there I times when I still don't care. All I wanted to do was become a lawyer and dressing up was not high on my to do list.

"I still can't believe that was you." He said as he browsed through them.

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes.

Then he turned his critical eye on my current self. His eyes went from my still short, but better cared for hair, to my low cut blouse and slim fitting jeans. And obviously no glasses. I haven't worn glasses since they boys talked me into that stupid laser surgery. One of the many arguments I lost to them. I don't even want to go into their clever tactics on that one.

"I think we did a good job." He gave me a sweet smile.

I started to pick up a handful of photos and stuff them into another album. Flipping through them since I hadn't done so in such along time.

Out of nowhere Kaoru let out a burst of laughter.

"What is it now?" I asked with just a hint of exasperated humor in my voice.

He held out a picture for me. It wasn't particularly funny. It was just another photo with me and a disgruntled looking Hikaru and a devilishly amused Kaoru.

"Sorry, I just remember this day. We ditched him to go on a date didn't we?" He wiped the laugh tears from his eyes.

"Yeah." I picked up another photo, then another. Cleaning up the mess actually had me going through memory lane not before long. I laughed about some images and grimaced at others. Kaoru had joined in almost immediately. We almost forgot we were supposed to be packing.

That is until I locked eyes with him. We had somehow found ourselves side by side with his arm around my shoulder. We were close, but it couldn't be helped. We were sitting my closet after all.

Our faces were mere inches apart, intimate and comfortable. My eyes traveled to his lips, those irresistible Hitachiin lips, and I moved in.

Kissing Kaoru felt good. It was familiar and I felt all the happiness and comfort of my past in his taste. His hand came up to cradle the back of my neck and I sighed as I leaned into him. I heard him moan when I licked his bottom lip and pressed the kiss deeper. Kaoru was returning my kiss almost as much fervor as I was putting into it.

It was over too soon however. He came to his senses rather slowly but when he did, his hand slipped from the back of my neck and placed both hands on my shoulder. I reluctantly broke away when I felt his movement.

"Kaoru?" I questioned.

He placed his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. He sighed.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"What?" I placed my hands on his cheeks so that I could prompt him to look into my eyes again. "You don't have to be sorry. Tell me what's wrong?"

His eyes looked sad. I didn't like it, not one bit. He smiled at me and pecked my forehead quickly. "I don't want to be a replacement."

I didn't understand what he meant at first, so I stared at him blinking. Then slowly, and I mean slowly, I understood.

Kaoru and Hikaru. Twins. It doesn't matter that I know their differences. I know that Kaoru is Kaoru and Hikaru is Hikaru. Both of them are as different as night and day to me. But...they are still the same in many ways.

"Kaoru, I won't do that to you." I said, surprised that he would even think I would use him to satisfy my need for Hikaru.

"I know" He said softly. "Hika always says I think to much but I can't help it."

"You do think too much. How can that thought even cross your mind?"

"I don't know. But Hika is not the only one who is having a hard time with this." he admitted. Kaoru bit his bottom lip as if to chastise himself for letting that little bit of honesty slip.

"What!?" I said, maybe a little too sharply. "You were fine with this. You helped me by being a part of the circle. Hell, you have been supportive of this since... since.."

"Since I got over my initial jealousy. My brother is not the only selfish one. I am too. I have been for a long time but unlike him, I can choose to see past it."

I pulled back from him. I gotta admit, this made me sad. The last thing I wanted was to loose my other best friend.

"Hey, don't pull away." He said. "I'm not gonna bail. Promise."

"Are we gonna go back to platonic friends?" I frowned at him.

"We both know that is impossible."

I understand why he won't kiss me or love on me now but there is something else that is bugging me. Kaoru has spent more time with me than any of my clients. He takes up most of my life and yet... he hasn't touched me. And I don't mean shared baths and night time cuddles.

"So what's your excuse for before the whole 'Hika-hates-me' and the 'you don't want to be a replacement for him'?" I blurted out.

Sadly the look on his face wasn't shock nor did he express any denial for it. I was right. There really was a reason behind it.

"You really wanna know?"

"Hell yeah, I wanna know. Spill, Kaoru." I was on me knees facing him. A slight irritated frown had appeared on my face.

He brushed his hair back and sighed. "I don't want you to be with me because of the Circle. You are not a whore to me. You never were." He pause and stood up, holding out his hand to take mine. I gave it to him. "I want Haruhi to love me because she wants to. Not because she is being paid to and, given our current drama, not because I look like Hika."

So that was it?

I tiptoed and pecked his lips. "I get it."

He grinned at me and in return pecked my forehead with a kiss of his own. "Well, Shall we get to packing?"

I looked down at the photo albums, only one stray photo was left on the floor and I picked it up. It was a photo of my last birthday. The twins, their mother and my father and in the far back shadows their father. A family photo in it's truest form.

"Yeah" I said calmly tucking the photo back into the album. "My trip down memory lane is over for now."

Moving into my new home was much easier than I expected. We can attribute that to the wonderful men of the Ouran circle... and their staff.

It's safe to say I like to do things my way. To unpack by hand and to bring in my own furniture. But that's not gonna happen this time.

I have said it before, it's weird to have people do things for me.

When we arrived Tamaki and Honey were waiting on the front porch of my new house. Both were exhibiting a child like enthusiasm. Both of them were as handsome as I when I last saw them.

I had let them embrace me in turn. Tamaki had practically squeezed the life out of me with his snuggles and kisses, and his, "I was so worried about you Haruhiiiii".

Thankfully, I was recused by a set of big hands. Takashi Morinozuka lifted me away from my all time favorite spastic client. Which resulted in a loud whine of "Hey, I was hugging her!".

I laughed at the weirdness of the situation. Me high in the air, a grown man below trying to snatch me back like I was a cookie held out of reach by some bullying older sibling.

Takashi smiled. He put me down, gently, next to him then his hand patted the top of my head. He leaned down and kissed my cheek and I, surprising to say, blushed like an idiot.

"Welcome home, Haruhi." Kyoya's came up from behind me. I felt a chill run down my spine when I heard his voice. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling either.

I turned on the spot and smiled softly at him. I am so very relieved that he is alright after all this mess. I shouldn't have been worried at all. After all, he was an Ootori.

"Thank you." was all I could say.

I felt someone take my hand. Turning quickly I saw Honey's bright eyes. "Haru-chan, Let me show you around. You are gonna love it. I had Kao-chan help pick out the furniture and decorations."

Laughing at his carefree attitude, I allowed him to tug me into the place I will soon call home.

Kaoru was leaning against the kitchen counter. Our tour of my four bedroom home,(and I am not kidding, there was four bedrooms) had ended there and Honey had made sure that there was a large strawberry cheesecake on the dining room table. Most likely as a grand finale.

My room was large, with my bed already set up, I had two guest rooms and a library. That was where the fourth bedroom came into play. They had turned it into an actual library for me.

The living room was on it's own rather quaint with most of my furniture still around, give or take a few replacements. My books were no longer there, just a television for entertainment. The book shelfs had been replaced by display shelf wish held photos from the albums Kao and I had gone through. He must have done that while the crew unpacked.

Back in the kitchen, it too was at its basic. Though it is worth discussing and analyzing, Kaoru had sucked my attention away from the new home of mine.

My best friend tossed me a very devilish smirk. "So my little tanuki, what do you think?"

I tilted my head to decipher whether he was being his normal curious self or if he was taking on his brothers smart ass personality.

Which ever it was, I shrugged it off and smiled wryly. "I think I can get used to it."

He laughed reached over and ruffled my hair. I frowned slightly, and swatted his hand back at him. Not in a mean way, but in a 'really Kaoru, did you need to do that in front of my clients?' kinda way.

Speaking of clients, Honey had popped up beside me to ask "So Haru-chan tells us your birthday is coming up."

I blinked in surprise and so did Kaoru. "Yeah, it is" He said. "My brother and I are having a party our our mansion."

He grinned at me and, grabbing my hand, pulled me into his arms for a hug. My back was against his chest as he rested his chin on my head. Honey beamed at us obviously finding this affection to be cute. I leaned back into him since there would be no point in pulling away. He wouldn't let me go at all even if I wanted to.

"My mother throws the parties for us. They're pretty big and they always have lots of food." He said that last part as he nuzzled his head against mine. I squirmed when his breath reached my neck. Honey just giggled.

The party was definitely gonna be a big one. They always are. Yet even though there are countless guests, some family and others business partners, the boys only ever seem to want to spend the day with me. I guess that is gonna be difficult this year.

The rest of the circle, well those that were there to greet me, had joined us in the kitchen. Kaoru loosened his protective grip around me just a little but I still didn't move. He chuckled lightly and said, "I don't normally have friends. In fact Haru here is my only real friend besides my brother. It would be nice to have some familiar faces at the party. Would you all like to come?"

I tensed at his words. Kaoru rubbed his right hand up and down my side in reassurance. Almost as if to say, 'Be calm. It's alright, I have things under control'. So I hid my concern behind a blank mask of indifference.

Honey and Tamaki both looked like they were on the verge of celebration. Takashi and Kyoya both nodded in acceptance.

"We'd be glad to attend." Kyoya said. "Though I will say that Umihito will mostly likely opt out, given his unfortunate last meeting with your twin."

"Guess that make sense, right Haru?"

My face flushed deeply and I felt a strong clinching feeling in my chest. Kaoru must have sensed it because he squeezed me to him. Thank you Kao. I sighed and found the courage to look at the men with a wide grin. "It would be nice to see you all there."

Hikaru and Kaoru would be celebrating their birthday like they always do. A big party, hundreds of guests, large cake and of course their favorite 'toy'. And just because Hika is pissed at me, it didn't mean that Kao would let up on the torment.

This meant one thing. I had to dress up.

Fine, whatever. If that is what it took to make my friends' birthday complete, I would do it. So not only did I dress up. I put on one of the designs Hikaru himself came up with. With Kaoru's help in picking out the makeup and accessories, I made sure to not look like a whore.

The dress was white and soft looking. The fabric silhouetted my figure and the neck line was a rounded and a little wide. Good thing I don't have much cleavage.

Dressed and ready, Kao picked me up and brought me to the mansion.

It wasn't long at all before I found Hikaru. He didn't look happy. There wasn't a hint of anger in his face anymore but the light that I loved so much had diminished. His smile when he greeted his guests felt hollow.

"Kaoru." I whispered to the other standing beside me. He looked down and saw where I was staring.

"It's alright. Go talk to him."

I took an involuntary step back at those words. There was no way in hell I was ready for that. "I can't."

He pushed me forwards a bit with his forearm. "Of course you can."

I tried to fight back but lost when he took both his hands, placed them on my shoulders and shoved me in his brothers direction.

My first instinct was to turn around and head for the door but I couldn't. It was all because of those golden eyes, Hikaru's eyes. They were fixated right on me.

I watched as his lips tighten together to make a grim line. Instead of walking away from me like I expected him too, he slowly approached me. His hand was scratching the back of his head and his eyes fell from their lock on me to the floor. My heart... had officially skipped several beats.

"Hey... Hika..." I said, my eyes too were down on the floor.

"Yeah..." was the response I got.

Okay now this was an awkward moment. I really couldn't think of anything to say and knowing my best friend like I do, neither did he.

"Ummm..." I tried but was cut off by.

"Kaoru told me everything."

I blinked and finally locked eyes with him. "He did?"

"I... I still.. don't like it." He fumbled with his words and I can see the irritation in his face make a comeback. "It's just that... I don't like thinking about other men.."

"Can we talk upstairs?" I said quickly, cutting him off. "It's not exactly a birthday topic we are about bring up."

His smile was a shadow of what I knew to be his. He nodded and turned away to head up the large staircase.

We almost made it without interruption, but Tamaki appeared before us.

"Ms. Fujioka. I see you have arrived." He grinned widely before turning to Hikaru, whose face turned really sour. "And you must be the other twin, Hikaru, right?"

Hikaru nodded. "And you are?"

I bit my lip when I recognized the tone Hika just used. I was silently pleading with Tamaki to just walk away. But unfortunately not every silent prayer is answered.

"I'm Tamaki Suoh. You know, a member of your brothers society. The Ouran Circle." He beamed like a clueless idiot.

Hika's voice was clipped. "The Ouran Circle. I see." He paused and looked at me then back at Tamaki. "Sorry but I'm busy and Haruhi is coming with me." He said before briskly walking upstairs. "You coming, Tanuki?"

I felt my mouth fall open and had the sudden urge to whack Hikaru beside the head for his rudeness, but I held back. I faced Tamaki and said "I'm sorry about him. He's still mad at me, I think."

He bent down and kissed my cheek. With a whisper he said "Things will work out Haru. Remember, I promised to be by your side."

A sigh escaped my lips as I turned away and followed Hikaru up the stairs.

"Was he one of them?" Hikaru got straight to the point. Once we were in his room he closed the door so no one could listen to us. I frowned when I noticed that Kaoru had told the truth about Hikaru's redecorating fit. All the photos of us together were gone.

"It's not all about sex, Hika" I stepped back from him and tilted my head up to look into his eyes.

"Yeah, Kaoru tried to feed me the same crap about you being a 'companion'" He said that last word with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"He's right. I don't have to sleep with them."

"But you do sleep with them." He crossed his arms and leaned against the door.

"Well, yeah." I shrugged.

"Why did you come?" He asked after a moment of awkward silence. The question sorta surprised me so I didn't answer right away.

I closed my eyes and sighed. Taking a step forward I placed my hand on his crossed arms. "Because I missed you."

The moments that passed were nearly breaking my heart. Hikaru looked at me coldly at first, then he closed his eyes. Once he released a huff of air he uncrossed his arms using one to grab my wrist and pull me into a surprising hug.

"I missed you too but..." He paused and I held my breath. "I just don't know what to feel."

I tentatively wrapped my arms around his waist hoping he wouldn't reject me. "Please forgive me." I whispered feeling the tears behind my eyes start to build up but I wasn't going to let them fall. Not unless he gave me an answer.

"Are you gonna quit?"

I shook my head and loosened my arms to look at him. "I did for a while after Kaoru found out."

"But you went back." It wasn't a question. Just a fact, but I nodded anyway.

His hands moved from their place around my body to settle on my shoulders. Carefully he pulled back and turned away from me. He was walking away.

No. Not this time. I reached out for him again, grabbing the back of his shirt. "Hikaru."

"I don't know if I can handle this. I don't want to know THIS." He didn't face me when he said those words but I knew he started crying. "This was a mistake. I never should have brought you up here."

That sinking feeling came back. He was going to leave me again.

He turned around quickly and faced me. Those tears were brimming in his eyes as he said, "You shouldn't have come. Go home Haruhi."

"Hikaru!" I exclaimed. "Don't say that." That was it. My tears broke through. "After all we have meant to each other, you want me to go? Just because of one unspoken truth. Okay I knew you would hate it, that is why I was scare to tell you anything. I made a mistake in not telling you earlier. I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath trying to stop my hysterics. I no longer noticed his face even though I was looking at it. "I make mistakes, I know. But I will keep trying and keep making mistakes till I do the one thing that makes you love me again. Hika please. Don't leave me."

There was a moment of silence between us broken only by my nearly stifled sobs and Hika's sniffles. I knew in my heart that those words were true. I would do anything for him. I want my best friend back.

He broke the tension in the most unpredictable way. He kissed me.

My mind was reeling and my heart skipped. Hika was kissing me again. He was loving me again. And for that brief heart pounding moment I believed everything was going to be alright. He pulled away from my lips, placing kisses along my jawline and cheek and up to my forehead. I wrapped my arms around him placing my kisses on his face and neck.

I tasted the saltiness of the tears that had fallen on his face and I hoped more than anything that I could take away any lingering anger from him.

But the moment had to end. He stopped suddenly and pushed me back. His eyes were closed and he refused to look down on me.

"Hi-" I tried to say his name but he cut me off.

"I can't, Haru." He stepped back and headed for the door. "You should probably go back down stairs. Kaoru is probably wondering where we are."

"Wait!" I said a little too loudly. He turned his head to looked at me. His lips were in that tight line again. "Are we... ok?" I asked sheepishly.

The shake of his head hurt me. "I'm not ready for this yet. Go back to Kao. He can take care of you for now." Then he walked out.

So here it is, back to square one. Only this time he isn't angry.

It takes a long time for him to get over things, I know. But dammit, he can really hold a grudge.

I sighed and followed him back out into the party. Side by side we went down the stairs and prepared our fake hosting smiles. This was his party after all and I was still, in public view, their best friend. I had to look my best for them.

Just before parting ways I tilted my head sideways to look at him "Hey." I said and he turned his face to me. "Happy birthday, Hika."

He shrugged and gave me an unwilling smile. But it was a smile nonetheless. Oh good, it's a start.