"I want you again," he rasped, "you're not sleeping tonight." He kissed her again, his hands lazily stroking her face, her hair. Lena ran her tongue along his wet jaw, bit down on his neck almost too hard. Tommy gasped and pulled back, attacking her back with warm wet kisses, both passionate and tender.

Something was different tonight, Lena felt something had changed but she couldn't tell where or how. Tommy was reacting, emoting something more than before. She imagined it was out of his worry that she would forget him while he was away, or maybe it was meeting her family and being part of something more than just the two of them, maybe it was the love she expressed for him. Lena held him, kissed him, caressed him, she conveyed her reassurance to him through touch. His instincts were so sharp, but partly marred by his defense mechanisms, so it was hard to know whether she was getting through to him. Tommy crushed her with his need, smothered her with the agony of leaving. How could such a short amount of time add up to this? Lena was puzzled and amazed by it. His skin was hot and moist against her, she was sweating against him. Tommy was pushing at her, pressing his full weight against her, making her gasp. He was kissing her, holding her to him for dear life. She felt a connection to him raw and primal that went beyond sex, but was quantified by it. When she and Tommy were alone together, when their bodies met, it was naked truth for him, he couldn't hide from her, and was brought to tears by the rawness of it, the way she made him feel. Lena opened him up inside and he was never sure what would come out or how to handle it. And now he had to leave, and even though it wasn't very long it felt so awful. Tommy had become addicted to her, she filled his dark mind with light, and he clung to it.

"Oh!" Lena cried out as Tommy penetrated her, filled her and lay against her, not moving except to kiss her some more, his hands on her face, his legs tangled with hers. They lay like that for a while, Lena impaled on him and unable to move with his full frame on top of her, and she was relaxed and enjoying the fullness enough to not care.

"Lena…oh fuck," he gasped and shuddered, for a moment Lena thought it was over. "I want more..."

"Take it Tommy," she breathed, her hands on his face as he shook his head.

"No I want more," he rocked inside her and she realized it was far from over. "I want us together…when I get back. Like moved in together."

Lena was silent, she didn't know what to say.

"If it's too much tell me," he rasped, and his hips rolled back and forth slowly, making her body vibrate.

"How, Tommy…how can we do it?" Lena squeezed handfuls of sheets, both holding steady to the bed and rocking her hips up to him.

"I don't know, I don't know…" he picked up speed, rising up on his elbows so her face was framed by his biceps. "Lena you're my girl…I can't be without you, I wanna see you all the time." His voice was sexy and slow and sinister.

"When you come back," she gasped, "we'll talk about it. Your dad…"

"Fuck I know," he spat, and suddenly he was pulling out of her and falling in bed beside her. "I just…oh fuck it forget about it." His demeanor was changed again, he was pissed and she wasn't sure if it was at her or the situation.

"Tommy-"she reached for him in the dark, and was met by his cooling skin and soft kiss.

"Don't." He kissed her briefly, pulling her close. "Just…don't. OK? Forget I said anythin'. I know it's too soon. Can't help it, I wanna see you every day, be with you every night."

"Tommy…I feel the same. But you're right, it is too soon, we need to know how your dad is going to do anyway-"

"I'll tell ya how he's gonna do, Lena…it's gonna be a fuckin' mess and it'll all end up exactly the same as it has before. Only worse this time." Tommy rolled onto his side and squeezed her to him. "Just wait."

"Nothing can be easy with us, can it?" Lena sighed, pressing her face to his chest.

"Maybe. One day. Right now I just gotta get through all this bullshit and maybe then I can get Pop the help he needs. Sparta will take care of a lot of things for me."

"I'm not going anywhere," Lena whispered and she felt Tommy's smile against the skin of her shoulder.

"Hope not…" Tommy slid his hand down her back and cupped her ass, pulling her on top of him. "You're in charge now," he huffed, pushing at her hips. "Make me yours."

Lena was sitting on his erection, so easy for her to maneuver him inside her. She grabbed his hands and put them on her breasts, and she alternated a hard and fast rhythm with a slow and sinuous one.

Tommy growled, he sweated and gasped, and Lena didn't stop. She knew he was trying so hard to fight the urge to flip her over and take control. He grabbed her hips and held her fast to him, thrusting up into her and dragging her clit against his pubic bone, and she was over the edge before she realized it. She dug her nails deep into his pecs and he growled low and loud as she shuddered and hitched on him, over him, crying his name. That was enough for Tommy, he couldn't take any more. He rolled over on top of her and slowly moved inside her, enjoying all the contractions as she shuddered with lingering orgasmic spasms. Lena clung to him, her mind blank and her body belonging to Tommy; his hips speeding up and the kiss he was giving her became sucking and biting, the bed rocking loudly with his urgency. Tommy pressed his face against hers, his lips rubbing against hers as he gasped and moaned, sweat running down his face to wet her cheek.

"Don't stop don't stop," Lena cried, and Tommy's voice was a loud burst in her ear, he cried out and bit his lip to stop himself, but it was too late. As Lena clamped down on him, clawing at him and crying out, Tommy erupted half inside her, half out, his voice strangled with pleasure in her ear, making her come harder as his throbbing cock rubbed against her clit.

"If you were…any more perfect Tommy…I really would think you're an angel…."Lena was panting, bearing his full weight and just completely obliterated by him.

Tommy scoffed, lifting off her just enough to look down at her. "You're my angel. I wish you could come with me." He kissed her softly, rolling onto his side next to her, pulling her with his hands and his lips towards him. "I would never get anything done."

Lena laughed and wrapped herself up with him. "No. We wouldn't leave the room."

"Except to get coffee and whiskey."

"And steak,"she added. "Steak or chicken or fish, something to keep going, because Tommy I swear you work me harder than two hours at the gym. I love it," she smothered his face with kisses, and he trapped her in his arm to kiss her mouth, bruise her lips a little with his.

"I love fucking you, Lena," he growled. "I'm never gonna stop. So you better be ready when I get back. You should probably take a couple days offa work." His snarling lips kissed her, his teeth grazed her chin. Chills ran up and down her body.

"Oh my God you're gonna be even bigger than you are now," Lena said, rubbing his round hard biceps in her palms.

"Mmmhmm,"was all she heard in his deep gravelly groan.

"Tommy…you're gonna break me."

Tommy pulled back to look at her. His expression was grave and intense. "You know if I ever hurt you Lena, tell me and I'll stop. I promise I'll never hurt you like I did that one night-"

"Tommy are you still apologizing for that? I could've stopped you at any time. I didn't want you to stop. I was pushed to the brink of my existence, yeah, but I would have stopped it if I wanted."

Tommy brushed his lips against hers, smiling. "Yeah I know…I'm tryin' to make you hate me. But you're really stubborn."

Lena smiled and bit at his soft warm lips. "I couldn't hate you…you have my heart Tommy Conlon." Tommy pulled back and she could see his haunted eyes in the moonlight.

"Lena…" He sighed, shook his head, and kissed her forehead, her nose and finally her lips. "Where did you come from?" he whispered, but it wasn't a real question, just his wonder at her devotion.

"Maybe one day you'll understand Tommy," she whispered back. "Until then you will never accept it."

Tommy wrapped her up so her face was pressed to his chest, his arms enveloped her head. His legs trapped her against him, even his feet twined around her somehow.

"When I'm gone will you think about it?" His voice was a rumble against her ear. Lena imagined living with Tommy, what it would mean, and then there was Paddy….

"Yes baby," she said, kissing his salty skin, breathing in his clean sweat and distant cologne smell. Despite her best efforts she found herself nodding off, drifting away from him briefly only to be kissed or caressed back into the moment with him. Tommy seemed restless, he couldn't relax and she could feel his heart beating fast in his chest.

"Are you OK, Tommy?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, but he heard her. He was fidgeting, he sighed, he nervously kissed her head, played with her hair.

"Yeah, I'm cool." He rolled onto his back, pulling her half-way across his chest. "Don't know if I'm gonna sleep tonight though."

Lena stretched against him, her body fluidly spreading across him and then gripping him tight. "What can I do?"

Tommy laughed softly, caressing her. "Just do what you're doin'."

Lena held onto him, her hands and lips sweet and warm and soothing. She wanted to hang on to this moment, she couldn't let him go. Tommy had broken out in a cold sweat and she wiped his forehead, kissed his cheek.

"Baby you want me to bring you anything?" Lena kissed the palm of his hand, rested it against her cheek. He was trembling ever so slightly.

"Mmm…no," he shivered against her. "Fucking anxiety attack…s'posed to be taking these pills…turn me into a fuckin' zombie."

Lena rubbed his arm, held his hand. But Tommy couldn't help shifting uncomfortably, he was breathing harder and finally he sat up on the side of the bed away from her. She tried to touch him but he held his hand out to stop her.

"I'll be alright, I'll be alright…"

Lena sighed. "Tommy…"

"Just…gimme a minute."

She waited, watched. Tommy finally got up and headed out, she wasn't sure where, and she wanted to follow him but didn't. She saw a light come on in the kitchen, heard him rattling around in there. She was getting nervous, not sure what to do or how to help. She finally got up and headed to the bathroom, silently crept in and out while Tommy stood stark naked in her kitchen, drinking orange juice out of the carton.

Lena waited in the dark bedroom for what seemed like an eternity. She didn't realize she had nodded off until Tommy's cold sweet lips were on hers, tasting like vodka and orange juice. His body hovered over hers, he had straddled her and had no weight bearing down on her.

"Lena…."his voice was an urgent raspy whisper. "Lena wake up."

She wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him down but he resisted. She could feel his body still trembling, his skin wet with cold sweat.

"No…listen to me." He sniffed and kissed her again. She could taste salty tears and sweat on his lips. "I love you. I love you Lena. I can't…I can't be without you. I'm so fucked up and I'm so tired of fighting myself…I don't wanna drink so much or take pills…but I don't know how to be normal, Lena."

Lena held his face in her hands, tears and sweat all over her hands.

"How the fuck do you do this to me? I feel like I fuckin' hate everybody sometimes…except you, you make me happy and I forgot what that felt like." Tommy started collapsing on top of her. His skin was clammy all over, and Lena could feel his heart knocking against his ribs as he attempted to relax on top of her. "I hate it when this happens."

Lena held him in her arms. "How often does this happen?" she whispered.

"A lot," said Tommy, his wet face against her shoulder. "Just bad this time. Don't let me go."

Lena's eyes burned and she clutched his cold wet body to hers. "I've got you baby," she whispered. "I've got you."