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Chapter 21: Just My Luck

"Alice-samaaa? Alice-samaaa?" Hourai and Shanghai desperately called out as they hurried through the crowds, the festival entering the early hours of the morning. Heads turned in surprise at the sight of the two tiny little girls flying through the air. Luckily for the two dolls, most assumed them to be fairies, because… dolls can't be alive, right…? In any case, youkai and fairies were not uncommon encounters to the humans of the village, but there was some risk to Hourai and Shanghai exposing themselves like that.

"… I'm sensing hostility towards the two from some of the humans…" Komeiji Koishi told Kaku Seiga worriedly as the two pursued the frantic dolls. They were having trouble keeping up, especially with the large crowds in the way, and they couldn't simply just fly either or that would expose their identities as youkai; the only known flying humans to the villagers were Reimu, Marisa, Sakuya and Youmu (she counts as one to them), and even they did not fly as a rule while in the village.

"Those reckless children!" Seiga showed visible irritation for the first time, "They're rushing about blindly! That's not going to achieve anything!"

"… Seiga-san, are you concerned for them?" Koishi asked Seiga, a knowing smile on her lips. 'Children'…?

"W-What…?" Seiga was taken aback by the mere suggestion of such a possibility, "N-No!" she denied vehemently, "I just think they're being inefficient, that's all-"

"Hmm… Seiga-san seems to be the type who's not used to being appreciated~!" Koishi chimed and weaved ahead of Seiga through the crowd. Seiga stumbled to a pause, dumbstruck, before recovering herself and giving chase obstinately, annoyed with having left her guard wide open.

"Koishi-chan! You mistake me! I'm a professional! A wicked professional!" she cried after Koishi, "I have ulterior motives! !"

"And why won't you call me 'Seiga-onee-chan'? !"

Houjuu Nue, currently disguised as Kirisame Marisa in a lovely charcoal grey, silver-printed yukata, was stalking the streets for her quarry, Hakurei Reimu. To be honest though, she was not particularly looking forward to the meeting, despite her earlier mischievous enthusiasm; she had little idea on how to fool Reimu, known to be one of Marisa's closest companions.

"Well… Let's just hope that Tewi's magic field does its job…" Nue said to herself, "If my disguise is blown, it may come down to a danmaku battle with Reimu-san, and that's going to be a pain to fight out…"

Just then, Nue heard cries of "Alice-samaaa? !" and startled. Running up to a corner of a stall, she glanced round and saw two dolls flying through the air, closely followed by a young girl with silver hair and a black bowler hat, as well as…

"S-Seiga? !" Nue drew back, "What's that no good hermit doing here? !"

A quick background note: Kaku Seiga was an associate of Toyasatomimi no Miko, a recently resurrected human Taoist saint, who's group was at odds with Nue's own, the Buddhist youkai priests and devotees of Myouren Temple. In fact, Nue was the one who brought in Mamizou from the outside world, thinking her powerful friend could help prevent the saint's resurrection, although by the time Mamizou had arrived it was already too late… Damn flight delays…

"What's Kaku Seiga doing here…?" Nue repeated to herself anxiously, "She's got to be up to no good! And those dolls… They were looking for Alice Margatroid!" Nue glanced around the corner again, although by now Seiga and her group were gone, "… Those dolls must belong to Alice-san… She is a puppeteer after all… Gasp! Are they planning to warn Alice-san of the trap? !" No good… Could this mean that the plot was compromised…?

"Crap… I may be in trouble… Better get out of here!" Nue decided to head down a different street instead.

Another turn and down another street later however, and Houjuu Nue ran into an even more serious problem.

"Hyahh? !" "W-What…?"

The imposter 'Kirisame Marisa' ground to a halt, her mouth agape with shock, her actions and expressions completely mirrored by the real Kirisame Marisa.

In other news, on the other side of the festival…

"… I suppose this simplifies introductions, right…?" asked 'Patchouli Knowledge' of Patchouli Knowledge, "After all, there's no real need to introduce one to oneself, is there?" she smiled calmly.

"Yeah… There really is no need for introductions," replied Patchouli Knowledge to 'Patchouli Knowledge', "So I suppose we can skip those and get straight to the interrogation?" she asked quietly.

"Hehe… What makes you think I'll come quietly with 'myself'?" retorted 'Patchouli Knowledge', and she turned tail and ran.

"H-Hey! Wait!" the real Patchouli gave chase as Mamizou, still disguised as Patchouli, quickly widened her lead.

"What's wrong?" she taunted at Patchouli over her shoulder, annoying Patchouli a great deal, not least because she was being smirked at by her own face, "The real thing not as good as the fake?"

"Coward! St-Stop- Huff…! Stop right there!" wheezed Patchouli, "Someone, stop her!" she implored the bystanders as she struggled after Mamizou. But the crowd were busy being confused at the sight of Patchouli chasing Patchouli. Ehh…? Sibling trouble…?

"She's not my twin! She's an imposter!" yelled Patchouli, but no one came to her aid. "Oh, forget it!" and the witch took flight, surprising the crowd. Forget running…!

"… Heh… Well, there's our little plot in shambles…" Mamizou objectively observed as she confidently scampered away from the chasing witch.

"… A-Ah… I-I can explain…" began Nue cautiously. Marisa though, simply advanced on her with unblinking wonder, causing Nue to take a few steps back in fright.

Nue was still disguised as Marisa, still dressed in that beautiful printed yukata. Keeping her identity hidden may very well be the only thing keeping her from being Master Sparked…

"H-How…?" a frown formed on Marisa's face.

… Should I run? Nue did not though… She could very well be blasted mercilessly from behind.

And so slowly, slowly, Marisa cornered Nue against a tree in a secluded spot of the festival. Nue, her escape blocked now, could only slide her back up against the tree, her hands grasping shakily at the course bark, her face turned up and away in fear as Kirisame Marisa leaned in, scrutinising her face.

"… Who are you?" she asked simply.

"A-Ah…! Uh… I-If I tell you, will you forgive me…?" Nue pleaded, "I mean… It was just a bit of fun- I-I mean I was put up to this by someone else!"

"Eh…?" Marisa cocked her head to the side, "I only asked for your name, ze…" she breathed.

"… Eh?" went Nue.

Marisa gently laid her hands on both of Nue's shoulders.

"… N-NUEH? !" went Nue, "M-Marisa-san…? !" she exclaimed, flinching and shivering.

"H-Huh…? !" Marisa startled as well, and her grip on Nue's yukata tigthened, "H-How do you know my name…?" she averted eyes from Nue shyly.

Something sprung within Nue's heart, but that was overwhelmed by confusion in her head. D-Doesn't Marisa recognise herself…? Thought Nue.

"… I-I'm glad though… That you know me…" Marisa muttered, her golden eyes reflected in Nue's own as she glanced up at her timidly. A heavy blush was on both girl's faces, their chests thumping.

"I-It's the first time I've seen such a handsome girl as you, ze… M-My heart's going mad!" the love struck magician confessed in a small, shaky voice.

"… T-TEWIII! ! !" Nue, in between the tree, Marisa, and her own crazy heart, decried the stupid bunny's name to the heavens, "WHY THE HELL DOES YOUR MAGIC FIELD MAKE PEOPLE FALL FOR THEMSELVES? ! ! !"

Reimu hurried through the festival, turning a few corners here and there and glancing behind her to see if she was being followed. If she was, it would provide a good opportunity to corner someone and demand answers. But so far, nothing out of the ordinary was spotted… She, Marisa, Patchouli and Alice had split up in the four cardinal directions; Marisa to the south, Patchouli to the east, Alice to the west and herself to the north.

As she made her way through the crowd as fast as she could in her rented yukata, concerns continuously floated before Reimu's conscience. Remilia led me and Alice here… Yuyuko sent assailants after Marisa when she and Patchouli tried to go to Hakugyokurou… The rabbits from Eintei had a hand in this as well… Could that also mean that Eintei itself was involved…? So many people… So many things have happened… And all apparently just to try to create pairings between us… What's the connection…? What's the motive…? !

"Reimu…?"

Reimu turned around and- Punch! Reflexively punched the despicable face that appeared before her eyes.

Onlookers looked on curiously as Reimu confronted a stumbling Yakumo Yukari, herself in a rented yukata of lavender.

"Yukari? !" Reimu shouted at the pained gap youkai, "You're the one behind this! It's you, isn't it? !"

"W-What…?" Yukari held one hand in a plea for mercy, her other clutching her face where she was punched, "N-No! You've got it wrong!"

"Then what are you doing following me? !" Reimu demanded.

"I… I came to tell you that I know what's going on! All these incidents! I-I know what's going on, Reimu, and I can tell you!" Yukari said, "Please, Reimu-chan, you have to believe me!" she implored.

"W-What…?" Reimu backed up, confused, "Yukari… How do you expect me to believe you? !" she advanced upon Yukari again, accusing her, "Besides… I… I haven't entirely forgotten, nor forgiven, what you said that day you interfered with me and Marisa…" she said with quiet anger.

"I-I know… and I'm really sorry for that… There's so much on my part to explain, but please, trust me for now!" Yukari beseeched, grabbing hold of Reimu's left hand with her own.

"…! L-Let go of me! You expect an apology to resolve everything? !" Reimu grasped Yukari's hand to force it to let go, but then she noticed that it was covered in bandages.

"… Yukari…? W-What happened to your hand…? Who did this to you? !" Reimu could not help but look into Yukari's eyes with concern.

Yukari, seeing Reimu's concern in her eyes, could not help but smile guiltily.

"I'm sorry for everything Reimu… I really am…" she sincerely told the stunned shrine maiden.

"... Y-Yukari…?"

"And aside from that…" Yukari looked away uneasily, "Ah… How should I break this to you…?"

"This whole incident? It's a conspiracy from Hell."

"… What? !"

Reimu and Yukari were seated on a bench, Reimu learning forwards, her head resting on her hands, eyes staring into the crowd but not looking, her mind still struggling to get over what Yukari had just told her. Of how she was injured by the youkai at the conference in Hakugyokurou. Of how there were hundreds who were in on this incident. Of how the conference was organised by no less than the Supreme Judge of Hell, one of the Enma, Shiki Eiki. Of how…

"T-This is preposterous!" Reimu suddenly sat up and looked at Yukari incredulously, "What does that Enma mean by 'I'm a societal hazard to Gensokyo and I'm responsible for the shameless behaviour of all the other stupid fangirling youkai'? ! H-How is this my problem? ! Looks like someone is begging for me to teach them a lesson!"

"I-I know… That's how I felt too…" Yukari tried to placate the raging shrine maiden, "In fact, I would have taught them a lesson myself if I wasn't so ridiculously outnumbered-"

"Yukari!" Yukari flinched as Reimu rounded on her, "Are you sure you have absolutely nothing to do with this?" she demanded, "It sounded as if you were careful to exclude any involvement on your part…"

"N-No! I really have nothing to do with it this time, unbelievable as it may sound… H-Honest, Reimu-chan!" Yukari pleaded her dear shrine maiden as Reimu continued to silently interrogate her.

"… Fine… I believe you…" Reimu gave Yukari's injuries a worried glance, then sighed. Yukari too sighed in relief.

"However…" Yukari flinched again as Reimu began threateningly, "Yuyuko had something to do with this, didn't she…? She did allow Shiki Eiki to use Hakugyokurou as a venue…"

"A-Ah… Her involvement was small…" Yukari defended her friend, "All she did was-"

"Yukari… Marisa tells me Youmu and Reisen were the ones that misled her to this trap. Youmu, Yukari… Yuyuko's servant," Reimu said.

"… Forgive her, will you?" Yukari implored hopefully.

"No," shot down Reimu.

"For my sake-"

"That makes me want to forgive her even less!" Reimu was without pity for the crestfallen gap youkai.

Just then, from around the corner, came fleeing a yukata dressed Patchouli Knowledge, closely pursued by a normally dressed Patchouli-

"W-What? !" Reimu and Yukari stood up in disbelief as the two Patchoulis ground to a halt before them, "What's going on here? !"

"… Ah… It gets worse, huh…?" sweat-dropped the first 'Patchouli', "I may be in real trouble here…" the disguised Mamizou told herself.

"W-What the…? ! W-What are you doing! !" Marisa shoved herself away from Nue, stumbling backwards as Nue was slammed further into the tree.

"O-Ouch! I could ask you the same thing, you promiscuous witch!" Nue retorted. Nue had just dispelled her disguise; keeping it on may very well cost Nue her chastity. Strangely though, she chose to continue appearing in a yukata, except this time it was midnight blue with dark red hatch lines. Can't lose the festive spirit no matter what…

"P-Promiscuous- Why does everyone accuse me of being like that, ze? !" Marisa red facedly denied being such.

"… Do you really not know why…?" Nue blushingly eyed her with a mix of anger and embarrassment.

"If all of you will just stop messing with me, these kinds of things will stop happening! Oh, I've had enough with all these schemes!" Marisa pulled out her hakkero.

"W-Wait!" Nue raised her hands and begged, "Don't shoot! I'll tell you everything-"

"Love Sign! 'MAAASTEEER… SPAAAAAARK'! ! !"

A sudden giant laser pierced though the clouds, a shining rainbow of love for all to embrace.

"… She's the imposter!" pointed the two Patchoulis at each other. The identical magicians had suddenly appeared before Yukari and Reimu, except one was in her usual pyjama-like gown, and the other in a yukata-

A paper talisman went flying into the face of the one in the yukata, resounding like steel being hammered, sending Mamizou flying through the air and into an astonished vendor's stall, her disguise unravelling along the way.

Bystanders backed away in fear as Reimu advanced upon Mamizou.

"… You really expected me to be tricked by a simple disguise like that?" Reimu asked dryly, hoisting Mamizou by the collar.

"… No… but I expected you to be tricked by this!" alarmed, Reimu turned to look at the 'real' Patchouli, only to be shocked as she tore of her gown to reveal herself to be… Mamizou!

"…! Then? !" Reimu looked down urgently at the 'Mamizou' she was clutching, and… Poof! The disguise wore off in a puff of smoke and mirrors to reveal…

"H-Hii! ! P-Patchouli-san? !" Reimu quickly supported the limp Patchouli by the shoulders, a huge and still growing swell on her head weighing heavily against Reimu's conscience.

"This just hasn't been my day…" Patchouli groaned bitterly as Reimu frantically apologised over and over.

"I-It looks like you were a bit hasty, Reimu…" Yukari sweat-dropped, "And you, that wasn't half bad…" she grudgingly complimented Mamizou.

"Yakumo Yukari-san," Mamizou greeted cordially, "Looks like this is the first time we meet in person. Even in the outside world, where only the toughest youkai remain, your name precedes you."

"Futatsuiwa Mamizou-san, was it?" returned Yukari, "Rumours are you're strong yourself."

"I prefer to think of it as 'savvy'," Mamizou smiled, "Strength has waning relevance outside; shrewdness is the new law…"

Everyone jumped however, when suddenly a giant pillar of multi-coloured light erupted from a distance in the festival.

"… M-Marisa…" Patchouli murmured, nursing her head wound.

"…! That was Marisa's Master Spark!" exclaimed Reimu.

"…! That was Marisa's Master Spark…!"

Elsewhere, Reimu's words were echoed by Alice, the one person yet to run into any incidents as she made her towards the west side of the festival.

"But… Who's she fighting…?" the puppeteer stopped in her tracks and gazed upon the laser pillar in the distance worriedly. Should I go and help her…?

"No… Staying together is the goal of this trap… I should make my way out and regroup as agreed… But what if Marisa's in trouble…?" Alice continued to hesitate, unsure of what she should do.

"Why not come with me, then?" a chill made its way down Alice's spine as a caress rested on her shoulder.

"…!" Spinning around, Alice gasped and frantically backed away from the green haired woman in an apron and white headkerchief before her.

"… K-Kazami Yuuka? !" Alice quickly summoned her makeshift familiars of one clown puppet and one stuffed toy dog.

"… That's cute…" Yuuka smiled at Alice's weapons of choice, "And in a yukata, no less…!" her eyes hovered about Alice's collar greedily.

"T'ch…! What are you doing here? !" Alice demanded of the Flower Master, clutching her yukata tighter about her.

"… Hehe… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ! Found you…"

Chapter End

I remembered a long time ago, at the end of Functioning Alcoholic, I'd said that I'll write shorter fics… pant…

… And it's still not done yet! Still got some ways to go… still got some ways to go…