Prompt: What if Kate hadn't broken up with Josh at the end of season 3, and he had been with her all summer while she healed (and cut Castle out of her life)? Would Castle take her back when she saw him in "Rise?"
"Josh help you with that?"
The anger dripped from his words and stung Kate almost as much as the sniper bullet that started this whole mess months ago. She knew Richard Castle would be mad at her, disappearing without a word for months after getting out of the hospital.
In a lot of ways, Kate figured she deserved the anger. But he'd just crossed a line, as far as she was concerned. He knew what the boundaries were, even though he had crossed them before. Kate was willing to overlook that, because of the tragic circumstances surrounding his admission and the fact that she led him to believe she didn't remember.
But when those words left Castle's mouth, Kate shot him a snarl and a glare unlike anything she'd thrown his way in the past couple years, before turning on the balls of her feet and crossing the street to a nearby swing set.
Let him follow. At least then they could hash it out amongst themselves and not in the middle of a crowded sidewalk where many of his fans were still milling about, hoping to get one last glance of their favorite author.
Sure enough, heavy footsteps followed her, and by the time they reached the swings, they each lowered themselves into a blue seat and stared straight ahead.
"And what if he did?" Kate finally answered, her copy of Heat Rises cradled in her lap. She couldn't bring herself to look at it, because seeing his name did things to her that she didn't want to acknowledge.
Castle's silence spoke volumes, and when Kate glanced sideways at him, she saw him far more hurt and sullen than she could ever remember. She'd seen him like this on a few occasions before, but the bags under his eyes, and how dark his blue orbs were with anger, it made her shudder.
"Castle," she tried, "what's your problem with Josh?"
He shook his head. "No problem."
She bolted from her swing and crossed in front of Castle, tossing the book into his lap and gritting her teeth together. "Don't lie to me, Rick. You haven't liked Josh from the day you met him. Why is that?"
"Like you don't already know."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"I know you lied to me in the hospital," Castle said, finally meeting Kate's eye. "I know your tells, Beckett. Probably better than you do. You remember what I said, yet you still threw me out and ran off with Motorcycle Boy."
"My love life is not your concern, Castle."
Castle scoffed. "Clearly not."
"You know what, Rick?" Kate took a step closer. She hadn't expected to be the angry one in this exchange, but here she was. She felt her scar tugging with each heartbeat. "You got something to say, just say it!"
"Fine." Castle stood and hovered over Kate, his book falling to the ground and falling open to a random page. "You wanna know what my problem with Josh is? He's not me."
She knew the answer before he even said it, but the words still floored Kate. She stood motionless, her lips slightly parted. The shock in her eyes overtook the anger, and if the circumstances were different, her expression would've invited a kiss.
Yet Castle remained still, hands balled into fists.
"So," she huffed, "you meant what you said at the cemetery."
"Of course I–" Castle's jaw clenched and he tightened his fists until he felt his nails digging into his palms. "You thought I didn't mean it?!"
"I don't know," Kate shrugged, now refusing to meet his gaze. "It was an emotional moment. You're a writer. That's how you'd write the scene, isn't it?"
"You wanna know how I would've written it?" Castle was hovering over Kate again, nostrils flaring. The anger rolled off of him in a way she'd never seen before, and it broke her heart a little – especially knowing she was responsible for this.
"In my version, I take that bullet." His teeth gnashed together. "In my version, I don't have to watch you flatline in the ambulance, because I give myself up to save you. If you'd have read my book, you'd know that."
Tears built in his eyes before Castle turned his back to Kate, shaking his head and starting to walk off. Kate's brain screamed for her to follow after him, but she stayed put, staring at the grass with tear-stained eyes of her own, a hand clutched to her chest.
"Why?"
Castle stopped but didn't turn around. "Why what?"
"Why would you do that for me?"
This time, Castle did turn around, disbelief written into his blue eyes, even as tears streaked down his face. "Why would I–did you miss the part where I said I love you? God, just when I think you can't get any more frustrating, Beckett…I love you, okay? I love you."
Kate was stunned into silence, the words hitting her all over again. Without the excuse of clinging to life as she bled out, Kate had no idea how to react to his words – or the fact that, deep down, she felt the same way. She refused to admit it, least of all to herself.
Even as everyone appeared to see what she refused to – Agent Shaw, Natalie Rhodes, Agent Fallon…hell, even Royce – here they were, each fractured in their own way, and only one of them finally together enough to admit what was so plainly there.
"I hope Josh makes you happy," he said, almost under his breath, before starting to walk off.
"He doesn't," Kate said before she could stop himself. When she saw Castle stop, she took a step forward, suddenly emboldened. "I thought he did, but…Rick, I wanted to call every day I was up in that cabin."
"Then why didn't you?"
"Because I'm frustrating?" Kate smirked a little when Castle turned around with a quirked brow. "I thought Josh and I were getting somewhere when he was there when we got out of the freezer, but…I was fooling myself. I was hiding."
Castle took a step closer, still skeptical. "Hiding from what?"
"From you." Kate stared into Castle's eyes, willing the tears not to fall. "From my feelings for you."
Castle nodded once, pursing his lips before his face lit up in a bright, albeit rueful, smile. "Little unsolicited advice, Detective? Stop hiding."