A/N: I am so... unbelievably tired. Past few weeks I've been totally out of it, lol. And working at my new summer job is also wearing me thin. But hark! I come to you with an update!
eeeee, and its long time no update, I know. Skipping over excuses againnnnn brings us to this kinda important note so...
please read this: Come August, I'll be leaving the state for about 5 or 6 months. During that time I have no clue how much time I'm going to have to work on FaS. I may still have time, and I hope I do, but as of right now, I have NO idea how much free time I'm going to have for it. (Don't know what my schedule is looking like yet). I just want to give you all a heads up on that, but have no fear. FaS WILL be seen through to the very end. But at least until early January, things may get slow. I can only hope that you will all stick around.
As long as I made you wait, I hate to say that a good chunk of this chapter is filler. At least right up until the end. But come next chapter, things are pretty serious and should stay pretty focused until the very end. At the very least, I hope it still entertains you.
Warning: OMG I know you're sick of hearing it but this chapter isssssss oh dear lord it gave me so much trouble and I'm pratically wincing at the thought of hitting the submit button and posting this thing.
So as a warning, I'm sorry if there is OOC but mainly if things are moving too fast between Ikki and Kazu. I'm terrified that they're making too big of leaps in this chapter, specially since you guys have been commenting about the nice pace of FaS, but really, it's high time this story started getting things done and in order to do that, this chapter had to turn out like it did.
I mean.. unless you want 5 or 6 more chapters fo Ikki and Kazu just... wising up and nothing else.
Also the same warnings about spelling and grammar and format due to ffnet being difficult.
EDIT: I almost forgot! If you have the time you guys, please please you should go read my friend Masi-no-Ichigo's fic, Eye of the Storm! It's a wonderful fic and her stats tell her that people are reading and faving and watching it so it would be nice if you guys would take the time to please drop her some reviews, ok? She deserves them and the fic is well worth the read!
omg over 40 reviews this time around... (Tied with chapter 14 for the highest number of reviews for a chapter. Hurrah!) This'll take a while, I'm sure XD
Thank You...
KidAngel: But I really do LOVE your art. It's all so good and yussss I think I still have reviews to leave you, don't I? I hate to say that I don't remember. Mmm and yus I totally wouldn't mind kidnapping you. I still hope to see more from you soon in the future, cuz I always smile when I see things from you! Sooo yeah, I'll be sure to stop by your page later to check and see if I owe you a review, and I'm sorry for slacking.
MindFuel: I'm so glad you seem so excited about FaS' updates. Even more glad that the actual updates make you that happy, lol. omg a BL meter. I totally want one of those (I think I used to have one but it shattered a while back when it surpassed maximum level) Oh, and, you're totally welcome.
november.eyes: Thank you! Yes, the number of reviews jumps around a lot but the last chapter had the second highest count, I believe. You and everyone else seemed to love that scene, which I must say, makes me a rather happy writer. LOL and you are also not the first to mention a scene being "hot" without an actual "sex" or "real kissing" being present. That right there makes me feel so awesome, so thank you! Obsessing is good for the soul! Feed it!
Flawless Beauti: I'm torn between those two emotions nearly every time I write this crap, heh. I guess it's about time something like that happened between those two, but you know how things work. Good things never last and for Kazu, bad luck is as natural as breathing some times. But he'll get his break sooner or later (the epilogue, prolly, lol). Thank you for all the kind words, love.
firedraygon: Well Akito/Agito seem to have that kind of relationship, where one personality takes care of the other (lol tho really, I think that is kinda the point of having MPD) Akito, in my eyes, would be far too wrecked inside to confront Ikki and I think Agitio would be a tad aggrivated, even though he really does care for the little guy. Hopefully more action to come soon! Not so much this chapter tho, sorry.
Versus: Don't worry about not having time to review this or that. You are a regular reviewer and I'm sure that if you caught the last chapter in time, you would have. That alone is enough to make me happy so thank you! Yeah the title is finally in the story, and me naming the chapter as such was sorta uncreative on my part but yay for making you squee! That's totally my job. I'm glad you like the slow progression but please accept my apologies for the jump in this chapter.
Forgetfull: aww thank you sweety. Responding to reviews is starting to take up so much time tho. Like, way longer than it should really, but I really want my readers to know that I'm paying attention to them and what they have to say, and that I appreciate them for their time and attention. I forget if you were one of the few to email or message me about the Kazu cosplay. Let me know, ok? Long live commas.
BlackFlameRose: mwah, I always love your reviews. KidAngel is another reviewer/reader of FaS, you should check them out. did I give you my MSN account or no? (Sorry, I'm TOTALLY starting to lose track of who has asked me for what and who I've gotten back to!) Lol, I've always called it boy bashing when girls get together to just.. talk about boys. And I like Buccha - he seems like a good guy, and honest. OMG and at the start of FaS I totally considered Kuu (Ikki's crow) but in the end decided it would make some parts of FaS difficult to write.
FallenAngelKiya: lol wow thank you for the enthusiasm. It really does make me smile! The best one, you say, well thats just awesome! As hard as Ikki can be to write at times he makes it easy to let certain things happen since he very easily flows along with things that are happening, you know what I mean? Akito/Agito to me is the type of person that can make or break your mood, depending on what he's doing.
Misguided Angel of Death: eee the speedy updates make you happy and here I am coming to you with a slow update! Now I feel bad, lol. I didn't go to the con as Kazu yet (thats in August) but there are pictures of the cosplay, and surely there will be more after the con (with an Ikki, I'm hoping. If I can defeat her camera shy-ness) LOL interactions, yusss, it really IS about time, even from the writers pov.
ranchan-akari: (helps you fan) I just LOVE writing stuff like that. I love it even more when I see so much positive reactions to it! I'm happy to have made it to your liking, and also sorry that it had to get ruined, eheh. Aw, I don't think Kazu is weaker, he's just less confrontational, ne? hehe you reread my fics? That's so sweet, thank you!
Seiji-kun Chiaki-kun Eiji-kun: hmm yus I see how that would take away fic reading time, but at least unlike me you have your priorities straight! Still I feel good that you still find the time to come around here, read and review and all that. So thanks for that, first of all. Secondly, I love how they act too. It's very buddy buddy and attentive, like they really do have their own world, you know? I hope you keep coming around to read!
rei yamata: Yay pins! I have trouble with Ringo's pigtails sometimes when I'm drawing in just pencil and paper. Oh hunny, I'd be more than happy to buy some from you. Cheap.. I can afford cheap, lol, and besides you took the time and effort to make them so I'd love to encourage you by buying! Get back to me about it, ok? (I'm slow with address stuff but I get it done) And, you too, with MSN, message me or something, cuz I lose track of people lol. (If you still want it)
TheaBlackthorn: lol well to be honest I think Kazu's been rather confuse for a lot longer than he thinks. Try not too worry too much about Ikki coming down to a Kazu-less kitchen. With all of Kazu's running off, this one may have a bit of a different result. Maybe. Thank you for the review!
Masi-chan: yup, lol there are still a few chapters to go still. Juicy chapter, ta boot! oh ho I'm so shocked that your mother hasn't caught on to you yet. Printing stuff off is what I used to do in high school. In college now I just skip class to read lol. I'm so happy you think so highly of the last chapters opening, and ("o ho ho"s along with you about Ringo) her reaction will be something really hard for me to write, I think. Kazu feeling 'wanted' makes us all squee a little, dont'cha think? and NO! It's NOT bad thing to think/feel that when Kazu says Ikki's name, cuz I feel the same way!
melchan13: I don't only rule the world's socks, I own them! And clean them.. and fold them... and put them away... and then I wash them when they get dirty again.. But really, thank you so freaking much for thinking so highly of FaS and I only hope that this chapter doesn't make you TOO upset at its fast pace. (hides)
Chubby-King-Chocobo: hot stuff, hm? lol thanks, darling, I try. XD I love touching on sensations and things like that so I love that you mentioned it in your review. I was smirking I think, when I wrote about the world screwing itself, and was actually hoping someone would say something about it, lol. Thank you!
Carapheonix: Well! thank you for the review and I'm glad you took the time for suggestions. I don't think I'll be bringing Spitfire into the story and I was pretty much done with Sano gropings, but if I can squeeze it in anywhere, I'll give it a try (no promises, tho). I hope you keep reading!
Jess: Okiessss, yus I remember your fic now, or rather the one I'm meant to write, lol. It won't get worked on for a while to come but I will get to it when the inspiration hits me. I'm sorry you'll have to wait, too, but know that I know! lol everyone wants Ikki to catch Kazu (me too!). Oh and I can't help it, I just love cliffhangers. Well, I get whiney when I read them, but I like to write them.
Arrow.Aero.Air: Dude, totally, I totally missed class cuz of it, lol XD but it was totally worth it. Oh dear lord you didn't actually do that, did you? Sit down and read the whole thing? Cuz it's my story and I can't even read two or three chapters in one sitting (specially the first few chapters. those are just terrible). OMG FaS is your happy place! That's too awesome! hoho, I'm totally cool with number 2!
Slifer: It's sad I know, FaS has to end SOME time. Alright, another squeeler, that means I'm doing something write. Tho I'm expecting torches and pitchforks by the end of this chapter simply by jumping so fast (can't let it go . ). I always planned on have their interaction be experimentle, cuz its a first time for them, and if they knew what they were doing it wouldnt feel very accurate. Thank you!
Karanari: Don't worry. I remember your name. You are so kind to explain to me your absense and of course for actually taking the time to review FaS. I can't believe you read all those chapters at once tho, haha. Juggling plot lines is actually hard for me to do, so thank you so much! And I hope this chapers pace doesn't bother you. "You are also amazing at describing emotion. Like, I could feel it." Thank you so much for that comment right there!
DL: I agreeeeee, Kazu is a silly boy, with silly thoughts and he does silly things. Silly... Thank you for the review!
ShareTheLove: You are so kind, thank you! I'm sooo happy to have created another Ikkazu shipper - you picked a great couple to love! I don't plan on stopping my fics any time soon! This is my third ffnet account but I've been writing fanfics for about 9 years or so (don't get me wrong. My earlier fics are TERRIBLE, lol!)
GrayFox2k7: Are you alright, hun? You dissapeared off the face of the planet (you never log on MSN anymore!). Anyway, as per usual, thank you so much for the extended review! You always have so many nice and in depth things to say. And you keep talking about how parts of FaS relate to YOUR personal feelings and that makes me feel like I'm doing this right... Again you leave me feeling just wonderful with your review and I thank you again for reading and commenting. I hope I get to catch you online again soon - I miss talking to you!
Nightshade47: Another squeel! Alright! SO glad the last chapter made you happy. Lol thats why I write! Greatity is not a word BUT I know what you meant! Haha! You seem to have been greatly amused and I only hope that you keep reading FaS to the end!
Sagri: Developing feelings is such a pain sometimes, you know? Heh it drains me. You're right, Ikki and Kazu have taken some major steps in their relationship, and as I've been saying to other reviewers and in the A/N at the top, I'm sorry if this chapter dissapoints by things between them moving too fast. But we must move on with the story! No need to thank me for replies, hun. If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't. Dunno if you saw the cosplay pics. If not, just PM me, k?
Udyjay: lol your reviews are always so scattered and jittery and excited that I can't help but smile. First of all let me thank you for not only reviewing my fic but for leaving Kitten comments on some of her work as well. I stare at manga pictures too, so don't feel too out of place. I stare for.. long periods of time. I love it when reviewers take the time to comment on each section of a chapter, so thank you so much for your 'review along the way' comments - they really keep me focused on how people react to certain things. Glad you enjoyed!
Jen Sweden: thank you I dunno if the end of the last chapter was really a spin, lol XDDD more like just a thing that happened that pissed people off. Yay? I'm sorry the wait for this chapter was so much longer than expected (it gave me troubleeee).
MisakiTsuki: It wouldn't be the first time a fic has somehow made me miss something that (should be considered) more important. Aw you directed people at FaS? That means so much to me, thank you! AND you took my advice!! Holy crap are you amazing! And your comments were just lovely! I realy hope to see a review from you again! XD
Ikichi: Don't worry, I recognize your name, too! Glad to see you again XD Oh and that you enjoyed whatever grouping of chapters you read (I still dunno how people are finding the will to read FaS in bundles like that. Mebbe as the writer I'm just "huh?") heh, and sorry love, I can only make FaS so long before it has to end at some point. oh ho, addictive? Thank you, hun!
nonday: Good. Optimistic and warm is good. It's in a small way what I was going for with that small opening scene. Awesome that you felt it. Naw you're pretty much right about the girls being filler. They are not really important to the plot (save for Emily knocking sense into Ikki) but I didn't want to just toss them aside and ignore that their feelings existed. SO happy Ikki and Kazu's exploration was to your liking and OMG AnonyMouse should totally write, am I right!? (you read other review replies? Props, my friend. Mad props).
Tohru Daihikashousha: Nu, I haven't played that game, though I've been meaning to. Yup! They are together.. ish. Sorta. Well this chapter makes it a bit more clear.. Sorta. lol, you'll see. Yes, totally send me a picture when you have it, ok? I would LOVE to see it! Oh geez you mentioning classes makes me realize just how long its been since I've updated! Yay for classes finally being over but shame on me for being a bad author!
AnonyMouse: Hi dear, how are you? I still really think you should try to write something, I think it would be way beyond amazing. And oh! As always, so many amazing, beautiful things to say and I hardly feel worthy of your kind words, still! You make me feel so amazing about my writings, my style, my everything and that says a lot since I'm always so down on myself and my work. I also love how well you pick up on things. Comments like yours make me feel so special. Thank you so much, darling! I look forward to hearing from you again! (But really, no pressure XD)
iKat.13: Oh gosh don't slap yourself! or.. well... (tbh I do that to calm myself down sometimes, heh. Hard.) huh! lol yeah I guess Buccha was really put on the spot there for a bit. I wanted to bring him back in the fic for a bit, since he hasn't gotten much screentime. Ugh, wall pinning is just love, isn't it? Oh I'm so glad you liked that line as much as I did writing it.
Madde-chan: If I am correct I think you were review number 400! How exciting! Thank you for the compliments! It makes me feel so good to hear that you're willing to stick this story out to the very end! That takes a lot of devotion I think! (This fic is over a year old, if I remember right!) so yeahhh Thanks!
Ok guys I've been at this for about an hour and a half (hard to believe I know. But I'm also functioning terribly slow right now.)
...And I'm back!
Dhew: No need to apologize, love. Oh ho keep up comments like that and I just might start to think highly of myself! What a dangerous concept! Aww the "right" way, you say - well thank you so flippin' much for that. I feel so awesome when people say my work is different, in a good way, and yes they are MEANT TO BE! XD Hah, you say make out like its so shocking, lol, but I'm happy you enjoyed it! And! You are apologizing for your english? And.. I didn't even read a single thing in your review that made me question your ability to write english! And you also wrote a long review, so you are automatically made of win, lol. Thanks!
gaisensei: Well I certainly am fond of your honesty. When I first started reading your review I may have cringed cuz I didn't know if it was going to be good or bad, but I'm happy with what you said. FaS is different, and you are able to look passed your preferences and dislikes and see some good in FaS that you make note on. Thank you SO much for your honesty. And in my personal opinion, Air Gear fans, or maybe just IkkiKazu fans (I don't know) are some of the nicest, sweetest people I've ever come across on the internet. They make writing AG worth while.
Endy: Endy-baby! So happy to have you back! (snuggle) Do not worry about a review being longer or shorter than you wanted. You talk to me quite a bit on MSN about what you think/thought and I ALWAYS enjoy it. I really missed reviews from you. I just wish you were online MOAR. I like that you take the time to look at/into a bunch of different things at once (characters and scenes, etc) cuz it makes me feel like people (or you at least, lol) are really taking the time to pay close attention to things.
Peachie Bunni: Don't let your heart explode! Then you can't read the rest... Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read several chapters at once and also for reviewing. It's great that you can relate to the things you find in FaS - that makes me feel better about it.
JC: Ouch. Tho I appreciate your brutal honesty, it's a shame you won't continue. However in my defense, IkkiAkito is the most popular pairing in the AG fandom, and there are plenty of stories of them. But FaS is clearly an IkkiKazu fic, and therefore will not really focus much on Akito/Agito. I'm sorry if any OOC bothered you, but if you are looking for more attention to Akito's character, I'm sadly not the person to come to. I'm an Ikkazu shipper all the way.
belze234: eehhh I update as fast as I can, hunny. I don't want to rush these things, you know? I hope you didn't have to wait TOO long, tho.
Cookies of Lust: Dear god another one? All in one sitting thats just so crazy. You DO deserve a pat on the back (does so) Really, I'm writing the girls just to cover bases. It's not that I don't enjoy writing them. Just that I enjoy writing Ikk and Kazu MOAR. Awesome that you liked the scene between those two. I'll tell you, I had a hell of a time writing it XD Your review was anything by pointless. It really meant a lot to me, so thank you very much!
kool: Sorry for the wait.. I always try to update as soon as possible but sometimes chapters just need more time than I wish they did.
Kitten: Izzit time for Air Gear on your series cycle yet? XD
well.. and hour and 45 minutes or so later, we're done with replies!! Sorry if I skipped over anyone or misspelled names XD I think Imma hold off on editing this until tomorrow cuz I'm too beat to do it right now. Thanks again to all the reviews and reviewers and even the readers who don't review. You are the reason FaS is still going.
Well, way to take up a huge chunk of the page with.. you know.. NOT the story...
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Air Gear
a fiction by Crimson Vixen
Us
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"Geez, you're annoying," Ikki grumbled, stuffing his tiny hands into his oversized pockets. This irritating and wimpy boy in front of him was just staring at him with the biggest, bluest eyes he'd ever seen, and Ikki couldn't help but want to just find a stick and swat at him until he went away. "You need to stop following me around."
"I'm sorry," said the boy. "If you want, I can…"
And Ikki did want him to leave. So before the miserable little blonde could finish his sentence Ikki shoved him on the chest. The other boy stumbled back a little, almost lost his balance and almost fell, but caught himself and wiped at his face with the back of his arm. Ikki made a strange face, lowering his brows and crossing his arms over his small chest. Why wasn't this kid going away?
"I'm Kazuma," the boy said suddenly, forcing a smile into his lips. His voice was tiny – Ikki almost didn't catch it and might not have caught it at all if he didn't see the other boy's lips moving – and Ikki scoffed at the timid way he spoke, the unsure posture and the overall diffident way he carried himself. The young crow wriggled his lips as he pondered for a while, before he stuck his hand out, knowing he'd probably regret it.
"I'm the great Ikki," Ikki blurted. He didn't know how or why, but this pathetic boy… no matter how much he tried, wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, it seemed. So Ikki figured he might as well make use of the guy. Yeah, he was going to make something of him.
"I… Hi," the blonde offered, carefully reaching out, stopping short as if too nervous to touch this boy, this Ikki who had somehow grabbed his attention from a distance, who seemed so cool and Kazuma pulled his hand away at the last second, as if this wasn't the first time they tried this. But Ikki, irritated by this boy's indecisiveness, snatched the blonde's hesitating hand and shook it.
"Alright. Kazu," he said, tugging at the other to force him by his side. "Get over here."
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If he had a quarter for every time Kazu had run off...
The thud of Ikki's feet slapping against the floor echoed and bounced off the walls, at least to his ears, as if there were no other sounds that existed at the moment to distract him, and he whipped the door open, threw Kazu's name from his throat and took two large running steps forward…
…and tripped. Arms flailing for dramatic effect.
"Dammit!" Ikki spouted, getting to his hands and knees and looking back to see what he'd tripped over. His features softened greatly when he saw Kazu sitting on his front step, chin in one hand and a small smirk raising his one cheek as he stared with an amused look in his eyes.
"You…" the crow uttered, gathering himself and taking a seat next to the blonde. "You're here."
"Yeah," Kazu drawled lazily, not bothering to comment on the way Ikki's hand landed upon his knee as if keeping him in one place. Ikki's palm was warm, and that warmth crept through his jeans and curled slowly like smoke up his thigh. Kazu visibly struggled with what he wanted to say but eventually got it out. "Wasn't worth it."
Ikki hummed his response and stood, just now remembering that he still possessed Kazu's hat and handed it to him. Kazu blinked twice, then reached out with a slow hand to take the knitted cap back and place it on his head, and no sooner was it snug over his hair did Ikki start tugging Kazu by the arm.
"Walk with me."
"O-okay."
And so Kazu trotted alongside the crow, feeling strangely at ease with the way neither of them were speaking. Or at least, it had to have been a good ten minutes or so before Ikki reached out and stopped him, anyway.
"Why do you do that?"
"Huh? Do what?" Kazu automatically went on defense, silently praying that Ikki wasn't on again about his repetitive act of running away as a first resort in situations he didn't like, with the excuse of 'It's my road' fiddling in the back of his mind and on his tongue but Ikki reached out and lifted the blonde's chin with his fingers, so their eyes could meet.
"You do this thing. You've always done it since before I can remember. Where you always keep your eyes low as you're walking. Try looking up some time. Chin up. You'll see where you're going a lot better," the crow rambled, then smiled a small, lopsided smile. "If you get my drift."
Kazu gulped and slowly slid his chin free from Ikki's calloused fingers.
"I get it," he said quickly before picking up the pace and walking in front of Ikki now. The crow easily caught up, hands in pockets and still grinning like the idiot he was.
"Well are you going to give it a shot?"
"Huh?"
"Come on," Ikki said, flicking the underside of Kazu's jaw and forcing the boy to lift his head higher. Past his bangs Kazu could see the paved road disappear into the distance, the green grass down low and blue skies up high. He kept his head held up even as Ikki retreated his fingers back into this coat pockets. "Isn't that better?"
Oddly enough…
"Yeah…"
"Told you. You should listen to me more."
Kazu nodded strangely, half agreeing just to shut the guy up, half because it did feel better. And with his eyes Kazu could clearly see that nothing was stopping Ikki from taking his arm again to pull him along in another direction, yet the crow had taken him by the hand instead.
Like it was that. Fucking. Simple.
Well – Kazu caved a little – maybe it was.
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Ikki leaned against the school wall by himself, 'people watching' all the kids as they played on the playground. Young boys chasing young girls not because they liked them but because they could, other kids playing tag or some strange game with a ball and a square chalked onto concrete he didn't quite understand. But he was focusing in on one group of kids in particular; the class bullies.
What they were up to now was pretty obvious, what with the way that Kazu kid was quivering where he stood, trying to hide his face behind his hair, the very thing that the kids were poking fun at. Ever since Kazu first stepped foot into that classroom, eyes followed him and fingers pointed, because his hair was a strange color and therefore was worthy of laughter. And, Ikki noted bitterly and with a slight sneer of the mouth, Kazu was wimpy enough and useless enough to sit back and let it happen. He wasn't doing a damn thing, save for crying. That's what Ikki assumed he was doing, anyway, rubbing at his eyes like that. It was hard to tell from a distance.
Ikki didn't know why he was approaching them, but he was, and his hands were in fists, feet stomping in a way that made noise so other kids knew he was coming. The bullies were not much bigger than Ikki himself, but they were full of themselves, and Ikki puffed out his chest with as much air as his lungs could take, cleared his throat and took a stand in front of Kazu; that shaking, weak pile of mush that just silently screamed for protection. The crow had no idea why he was suddenly the one trying to give that protection, but there was just something about this boy picking on Kazu that he couldn't stand.
"Leave him alone," Ikki bit, drilling his eyes into the one in the middle; there were three of them, each looking equal in stupidity. They stood with stupid hair cuts and missing baby teeth and clothes their mother probably picked out and Ikki had to force his lips to scowl when they wanted to curl into a smug grin. "You don't have nothing better to do?"
Didn't they have some stupid girl to pick on or something? For her girly attitude or her frilly clothes or her cooties? Not this wretched boy for the color of his hair, something that Ikki was sure was out of the blonde's control. He was different, and he stood out, and there was something about it that Ikki couldn't ignore. Besides, Ikki had poked fun at it once or twice already in the past, but it was never anything that made the boy cry like it was doing right now, and it wasn't Kazu's hair that bugged him. It was his annoying personality. To be honest, Ikki didn't know why he was still even wasting his time on the kid.
Maybe the thought of anyone giving him a hard time other than himself just bothered him that much.
Ikki didn't catch what they said but they were laughing at him now, stepping close and shoving him on the arm. The little crow stood his ground, stubborn and stupid and young, and shoved back, hard.
Then, before the bully or his friends could say anything or call a teacher over for help, Ikki punched him square in the face. The bully, now with a bleeding nose, held his hands over his face and started to turn red with upcoming tears. His friends stared at him with no words to say, and Ikki felt it was a good time to turn around and forget they were even there. He faced Kazu, whose cheeks were already shimmery and wet with tears that had fallen, and Ikki scowled deeply.
"Don't do that," he muttered, pulling his sleeve down to cover his hand and dabbing roughly at Kazu's eyes. The blonde tried to turn his head away but Ikki just stubbornly kept dabbing. He was sure that somewhere in the distance he heard a song carry in the wind about him and Kazu, K-I-S-S-I-N-G in a tree and something else he didn't catch – he didn't know the words but he also didn't care – but he chose to ignore it and instead, was taken aback with the smile attempting horribly to break free on Kazu's face.
"Thank you, Ikki," he uttered. "You don't think my…"
"It's not like I like you or anything," Ikki mentioned quickly, before this boy started to follow him around again. Make him look bad. "And geez, stop crying already. They're gone now, see?"
Kazu just nodded his head when he saw that the two of them were alone now, shrinking back into himself and blushing something fierce. He was still embarrassed by his hair, something that was hard to hide, Ikki noticed. He was still sniffling but was no longer crying. Ikki's curiosity was peeked; this kid was actually doing what he was told by trying to suck it up.
"If they bother you again, you should just call me. You obviously can't fight or anything," the cocky boy grumbled, a pinky digging absentmindedly in his ear, eyes towards the heavens. Well now that he thought about it, his life up to now had been unbearably dull and boring; having something to occupy his time might not be so bad. He gave Kazu a good long look and heaved a sigh – he was really doing this kid a favor. "Actually, you should just stick close to me. I'll look after you."
"What?" Kazu asked, eyes starting to sparkle. Ikki looked off to the side, noticed the bullies talking to the teachers and pointing in his direction, then back to Kazu with a quick sigh. This boy… Kazu… would probably never amount to anything.
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"You and Yayoi, man. I don't know. Something about that just doesn't sit right."
Onigiri scoffed at Ikki's blatant comment, flicking the crow on the nose with a stubby finger before taking a sip of his water bottle. Leave it to Ikki to poke fun at the things someone really cared about. Leave it to Ikki to mock something someone had because it wasn't his.
"Shut up. I knew you wouldn't understand," Onigiri sneered once he'd gulped a mouthful of water. The sky held no clouds and the sun was ruthless so he leaned back in his seat to hide in the cool shadows before continuing. "You just don't know how to appreciate girls."
"Oh?" Ikki challenged halfheartedly. To be honest, Ikki was having a hard time concentrating on a talk that was focusing on girls, namely because Ikki no longer knew how he felt about them, or at least, in comparison to what he was discovering for Kazu, his best, most definitely male friend. He couldn't say anything up to this point felt wrong, but saying it out loud, especially to someone he knew – coming out, as some would put it, though Ikki didn't like that phrase in the least – still felt weird.
Yet here, Onigiri was going on and on about his new relationship with Yayoi and although Ikki would readily admit that she was a fine catch, the crow couldn't keep his attention on the subject at hand. Well sure girls were still a fine piece of eye candy; Ikki certainly hadn't lost his taste in women overnight. How could a boy like him forget about things like curves and cleavage, breasts and booty?
In the past he'd obsessed over those things and surely he could say he loved it all now, too, but his eyes were expanding their sites so far that boys were starting to catch his attention too. Or at least, Kazu was. He had soft hair and a smooth, round face, deep blue eyes, a tight ass and just a bit more angular curves. Now Ikki knew any other normal boy wouldn't think about his best friend in such terms, but he was and he acknowledged it, which made it easier.
So, Ikki pondered as Onigiri babbled further about his pigtailed track runner, that it all possibly meant that he was… bi. Though Ikki didn't want to say "I like both boys and girls" because it wasn't really like that. It was more of a "I like girls. And Kazu" sort of deal. And in any case, being bi was a lot easier than saying he might be gay.
Well, screw labels. No one said he needed one. But he and Kazu did, or else things were just going to spiral into a deeper pit of confusion.
The crow shook his head and his mind refocused on what Onigiri was saying. Something about how behaving and doing what he was told got him rewards, like kisses and massages. Ikki had to try his hardest not to jeer at the statement, because it honestly just sounded like the guy was whipped because he had to do tricks to earn his signs of affection. For instance Onigiri mentioned that if he went shopping with Yayoi for clothes, later on he might get a special something when the lights turned off. Briefly Ikki wondered if being with Kazu would warrant the same behavior – the thought made him laugh only slightly, mainly because he was thinking of him and his best friend as an item before it was anything really official – of if he'd have to work to get what he wanted.
Then again, Ikki still wasn't sure why these thoughts were flocking to him with such ease.
Perhaps there was more to this bi thing than he was giving credit to.
"But yeah," Onigiri sighed and took another sip of his water. He looked directly at Ikki, which captured the boy's attention. "In the end, it's well worth it."
--
--
The next time Ikki arrived at the place he despised the most – school – he was holding something extra in his backpack. It was stuffed way down at the bottom, underneath all his other unimportant things and took up barely any space at all. Ikki didn't have a reason why he brought it with him, or at least, not one of much value. To be fair, it was an ugly thing that he'd been meaning to get rid of, because white just wasn't his color and the thing certainly didn't look good on him at all.
Dumping his bag onto his desk, he unzipped the zipper and went digging with his hand. Once he felt the soft fabric he pulled it out; an oversized white knit cap, sprinkled with pencil shavings that had been sitting at the bottom of his bag. Ikki dusted the thing off by slapping it against his thigh and then his hand, blowing at it a few times to clean it – it sure was an ugly, useless thing. He was almost doing the kid a favor.
And when Kazu walked in, slouching and hiding in his sweatshirt with even less confidence than the day before if it was even possible, his hands were hidden in the front pocket, feet dragging on the floor and eyes cast unwaveringly low. Ikki didn't even know how the other boy was able to see where he was going half the time.
"Whatever," Ikki barely mumbled to himself, meeting Kazu at his desk and thrusting the hat in his face. Kazu, startled by the crow's sudden presence, gasped and nearly missed stopping himself from falling out of his seat. His eyes, wide and bluer than Ikki had remembered them (not that he gave him enough attention to really notice it in the first place, of course), small fingers instinctively wrapping around the soft cap.
"What's this for?"
"Just take it. I don't ever use the stupid thing," Ikki said, irritably noticing the way Kazu examined his generous gift but not putting it to any use. Huffing, the crow tore it from Kazu's hands and slipped it over the blonde's head, over his eyes and over his nose. Kazu's head reeled and then looked blindly left and right before he was wise enough to slip the cap up so he could see. It was definitely too big for him, but Ikki figured it didn't have to be a bad thing. Not for what he'd be using it for, anyway.
He leaned in close with his one hand supporting himself on Kazu's desk, whispering to the other boy's ear so the kids that were staring at them couldn't hear his words.
"You want people to stop laughing at your hair, don't you?"
Kazu blinked and then locked gazes with this strange and cool boy who was for some reason making an effort to be nice to him, in spite of also being annoyed by him. His eyes jumped down to his desk and Ikki's hand that still rested there, taking in steady breathes before uttering a thank you.
If it was what Ikki was waiting for, he didn't show it very well with the way he rolled his eyes and made his way back to his seat. When he sat down and stared holes into Kazu's back, he was slightly – only slightly – relieved that the boy kept the hat on his head, pulling it down as far as he could without blocking his eyesight. His golden hair was hidden fairly well and Kazu's neck stretched a tad further out from his sweatshirt. The world was a lot easier to face, thanks to the crow.
--
--
After their walk, Ikki and Kazu had gone their seperate ways for a while. It was only after Ikki had returned home, alone, that he realized it was just as stupid as letting the guy run off.
So when Kazu walked through the front door, Ikki felt like his mother with the way he immediately asked where the blonde had been. This of course, only encouraged a scowl to mar Kazu's lips and he shut the door harder than necessary behind him. Ikki could sense his mistake but did not comment on it. After all Kazu had originally walked in with something akin to a small smile and no new marks of harm that Ikki could see.
Still, curiosity had gotten the better of him and if Kazu was still intending to answer, Ikki was going to do nothing to stop him.
"If you have to know, I was visiting Kitsune."
Ikki raised his brows to his hairline, firstly at the tone of voice Kazu had so casually taken up with him and secondly at the statement itself. He'd forgotten all about the guy, which was horrible on his part but it wasn't the crow's fault that his face was so easy to forget. Still, Kitsune was a fellow classmate and Ikki shifted his position on the couch to face Kazu a little better. The blonde sat on the arm of the sofa and slipped off his hat to play with it in his hands.
"So how's he doing?"
"Better," Kazu said with a soft smile. It was easy for Ikki to see that Kitsune held a small place in the jet's heart, but as sweet as that was, Ikki didn't very much care for the concept. "He's still a bit shaken, but he's always been the jumpy type. He'll be okay, though."
Ikki nodded his head and took hold of Kazu's belt loop, tugging it hard enough to send Kazu over the arm rest and onto the couch itself, nearly on top of Ikki. The blonde stuttered uncertainly, arms whipping about to balance himself and face Ikki because the crow was acting like this was a thing of normalcy between them already.
Tomfoolery and roughhousing had always been a part of their habitual ways, but this time things felt different.
Not fair, he wanted to say. They hadn't established anything official yet, if at all so why was Ikki looping his arms around his neck and resting his chin on his head? Kazu gulped and felt his body tremor once. He figured he should at least be used to this by now, being so close to Ikki that is, because it seemed to be happening a lot lately, but now that Ikki's intentions were something of a slightly different nature, Kazu didn't know how to react to those actions.
So he stilled, and slowly relaxed, and he did nothing but breathe. After a few moments of stretched out silence, Ikki planted a very light kiss to the shell of Kazu's ear, and although the blonde tensed momentarily, he did not pull away, and Ikki sighed and chuckled a little.
"That fatass thinks he's got it so good," he muttered, and Kazu tried to turn his head to give a questioning look but Ikki was still holding him, which made it difficult. "I don't have to earn shit from you."
Kazu opened his mouth to ask for a bit of an elaboration on those words, but Ikki leaned back and pulled Kazu into a resting position on his lap. The blonde stared up owlishly at the crow, eyes clouded over in vague disorder. Whatever 'shit' Ikki was talking about earning, Kazu assumed he was right; Ikki already had most things Kazu had to offer. His friendship and loyalty, his trust and devotion, and very soon, Kazu near feared, perhaps a bit more.
But Kazu thought he'd never be ready to ask Ikki the questions that had been spiraling around in his already confused mind; 'So, are we together or something?' because neither of them had actually said it. Kazu knew that Ikki was the direct type, but sometimes he needed a little push, and the blonde knew he was going to have to force himself to speak up if he even intended to see things as they were meant to be.
He squirmed and flipped around to face Ikki, lips already working before their eyes had the chance to meet.
"Ikki, what are we?"
It was so fast and slurred that Ikki nearly didn't catch it, but he did, and he hesitated. He really didn't feel the need or the desire to discuss it, but if Kazu was so clearly uncertain… And now that Ikki was faced with confrontation on the matter, he had very little to say.
"What do you mean, what are we?" he scoffed, as if it would provide all the answers they needed, but Kazu's eyes were clouding over with even more uncertainty, and Ikki sought a way to avoid it. "We're, you know, you and me."
"But are we an us?" Kazu almost pleaded, getting closer. When Ikki did nothing but stare and lick his lips, Kazu spoke again, in a way that showed Ikki that he required a straight answer. "Please Ikki, I need to know."
Kazu remained frozen in time waiting for an answer; He had told Ikki that he wanted whatever the crow wanted, but what exactly did Ikki want?
"You…" Ikki started, staring wide eyed into the other boy's blue depths, then frowned and lowered his brows in an aggravated way. If even after what they'd done Kazu was still in doubt and confusion, Ikki wasn't sure what would sink into the blonde's brain. Not only that, but why was it that Kazu was so desperate for an answer when he himself would not give Ikki the answers that he craved? Something about it just wasn't fair, and Ikki lost a little bit of his tolerance. Things like indecisiveness and hesitation were sometimes things that tugged away at his layers and he gave Kazu a light thump on the head with his palm.
The blonde looked at him, confused, but that didn't stop Ikki from taking Kazu by his non-pierced ear and tugging him closer. When the boy's head hit his chest Ikki wrapped his arms around him to keep him there.
"You hear that, Kazu?"
After his short lived thrashing died down, Kazu took a steady breath and relaxed against the crow. He furrowed his brows in concentration as his ears picked up on a soothing and steady sound; something new about Ikki that Kazu could memorize.
His heartbeat.
"Your…"
"That's right. I have one," Ikki said bitterly, jerking Kazu up and shoving him off the couch. "If you think I'm out to fuck with your head, get off it."
But before Kazu could give a response or even move, Ikki rolled off the couch as well, landing on top of the other boy and gripping him by the temples. Pupils retracted when blue eyes widened to stare up at the crow, a look that repeatedly asked Ikki what the hell he thought he was doing.
"I can't tell you what I want. Or what we are. I can't tell you because I don't know," he said steadily. For a moment there was a flash of doubt and dejection in Kazu's eyes, and Ikki was quick to follow up. "But that doesn't mean I'm dicking around! Do you really think I'm such an ass that I'd toy with someone else's emotions like that?"
Honestly, I know you're an anxious type of person but have a little more faith in me.
But instead of knowing of a way to convince Kazu of these facts, the only way he could think to prove himself was through the anger he was feeling at the moment. That frustration drove him to be impulsive. Ikki didn't even know when it was he had gripped Kazu's hair as viciously needy as he did until Kazu's wincing grew audible, and he loosened his grip a little, but didn't let go. He needed the blonde to pay him the attention he needed at the moment. He needed Kazu to hear him. He needed to be understood.
But words were escaping him, much like they had been doing a lot lately, so instead he yanked Kazu closer and crashed his lips to his. It was their second kiss, with desperately different motives and intentions but the same sentiment and sensation as before. And Kazu, eyes sprung wide and body frozen in place, could only kiss the crow back with partial uncertainty. Ikki had always been the impetuous type, always taking and only giving when the moment struck him, but if kissing someone was a mistake, it was hardly one that people made twice.
Against his better judgment Kazu let his lids droop and his arms circle around Ikki's neck because no one was around and he was a big ball of confusion that didn't know how to take his life anymore than what was being handed to him. And Ikki was a surprisingly good kisser, making Kazu want to forgive him instantly for all the years of bullying and humiliation and overshadowing and thank him for all of his faith and encouragement and stubbornness.
His pulse was throbbing from beneath his skin, and though it was merely common sense that his pulse was there to show him that his heart was beating and he was undeniably living, Kazu began to wonder if the purpose of a pulse was to let him know just how alive he was, by how fast and hard it was beating, especially since something erratic always seemed to happen with it whenever Ikki was close enough.
Like right now, Ikki was give him very little to no space to divide them, pressing up against him like it wasn't weird and it wasn't questionable, like he knew what they both needed better than Kazu would ever know himself, and oddly he could find very little to deny.
"So I think it's safe to assume," Kazu finally breathed when Ikki gave him the chance. "That me and you are different now."
And if by different he meant not the same as they were in the past, Ikki was inclined to agree. Still, he shook his head and positioned himself back on the couch, pulling Kazu up and next to him in one full motion.
"It really takes a while for things to sink in with you, doesn't it?"
Kazu crinkled his nose at the comment and shifted to the side a little bit when he realized his thigh was grazing Ikki's. Ikki had always been very direct with the things he knew he wanted and Kazu now knew that he was no exception.
"You have to understand that this is weird for me," Kazu mentioned honestly, a small shrug of his shoulders moving his posture. Then he gave a good, long, hard look at Ikki. "Isn't it weird for you?"
"Yup," the crow quipped easily, extending a hand to touch Kazu's earring, causing the blonde to gulp. "I think I know what this is about, though."
Kazu just blinked and sat back a little ways, staring. Ikki gave a playful push to his arm.
"You have to stop giving a damn about what other people think. And…" his voice softened. "And yeah it feels weird, and it makes you nervous because things like this?" Ikki paused to steal a kiss. Just a quick peck. "Is going to make people talk."
Kazu suddenly flailed to push Ikki away from him because the crow was being confusing again. Only Kazu wasn't as confused as he was flustered and troubled accepting such simple logic. It wasn't even that long ago that he and Ikki were borderline fighting, hardly voicing any indication that there was something between them, and now Ikki's lips had found his skin on more than one occasion… and while Ikki appeared to be taking it in stride, relentless and unafraid, Kazu was falling behind and hesitating.
Just like always.
For as long as Kazu remembered, Ikki had always been quick and rash with his decisions, and the blonde would tag along behind those decisions and keep his protests buried deep within. But this wasn't something like agreeing to be the next generation of the Guns or starting up AT; this was something on a whole different level of moral and acceptance and most dodgy of all, sexuality.
Kazu had always carried a set of beliefs with him that some considered to be unreasonable. For instance, Kazu had this thing about the things people said and the things people did. Words were extremely empty, he decided; worthless by themselves. It was action that Kazu found convincing and credible, which was part of the reason his respect for Ikki was so high. The guy was practically famous for just… doing things. When things are done instead of just talked about, people notice.
"And I'll admit, it kinda pisses me off when you do this," Ikki mentioned oddly, finger to his chin in the world wide signal for deep thought.
"What?" Kazu jolted to attention. "Do what?"
"This!" Ikki gave Kazu a good jab to the forehead with his thumb, smirking a little when the blonde rubbed at the offended area. "This clueless thing that you do."
Kazu took in a short, sharp breath and held it. His legs tensed and his shoulders stiffened, unsure how to react to such a claim.
"Why would I do something if I really didn't want to?" Ikki said, voice a bit on edge now at the lack of Kazu's response. "Kazu, if I didn't want you to live with me, I wouldn't offer. If I didn't want you on my team, you wouldn't be. If I didn't want to kiss you…"
Ikki paused, feeling like maybe on some level he was only convincing himself of something, and seeking to prove his words but showing Kazu one last time that he would do the things he wanted to regardless of what other people thought about it. So he very gently took the hood of Kazu's sweatshirt in his fingers and pulled him closer at an unusually slow pace until they were mere inches apart. Their eyes met, and Ikki could see a bead of sweat forming on Kazu's brow, but the nervousness was not one of rebuff, so Ikki carefully touched their lips together in a tender kiss.
Without even realizing it, Kazu's body inched closer and his hand found its way to Ikki's cheek and into his spikes. How kissing the crow could feel so good was beyond explanation but it was something that Kazu was easily sucked into. Once he and the crow were in contact like that, Kazu's eyes closed and the world was forgotten.
If this was indeed what Ikki wanted, and if he himself was so easily giving into the concept, they why not? What would he be gaining by letting it go? And what was he proving by pushing away something they were both obviously giving a chance to? It was these very thoughts that allowed Kazu to drop his defenses and easily fall back onto the couch with Ikki mindful and attentive on top of him. And it was easy to trust Ikki since it was like instinct for him to do so, becuase Ikki had never given him a reason not to, and because Ikki was not doing anything to him besides kissing him and gripping his head and his hair.
His pulse was throbbing again, and he could feel Ikki's doing the same. Oddly but endurably, he could have sworn he felt it even in his mouth, and he kind of laughed into Ikki's mouth when he sensed the way they both sped up, letting them know that they were alive, and being alive together made them even more so.
Ikki didn't know if he intended to do anything more with Kazu that night; simply kissing the blonde put his senses into overdrive. But he got no chance or time to even consider anything more, because footsteps reached his ears, followed by a sharp gasp and the sound of something lightly thumping onto the floor.
It almost felt like the world was trying to cut short every ounce of time alone they had together.
The crow tore his lips free from Kazu's and looked towards the door, where – as luck would have it – Ringo was standing in shock with her hands cupped over her mouth and a jacket crumpled at her feet. The shimmer in her eyes was undoubtedly the start of tears that Ikki didn't have to heart to witness. Quickly he rolled off the couch and ran to the girl with his arms outstretched. It seemed that no matter what he did or what choice he made, he would end up hurting someone he cared about in the end.
Ringo's entire body posture was closed off; her arms were restricted tightly to her body and she jerked away when Ikki tried to touch her arm at first, but soon let herself fall into the crow's embrace. She was shaking, and Ikki feared that what she had just seen was really that traumatizing to her, but when her tears finally started to fall and she started to speak, something in Ikki's brain told him it was something far more serious. The tone of her voice was off somehow.
Kazu sat frozen on the couch, hands clutching at the cushions beneath his bottom and palms sweating up a river. Neither him nor Ringo could bring themselves to meet gazes; Ringo buried her head in Ikki's chest while Kazu brought his eyes to his knees as they banged together.
Remarkably, Ikki found his voice.
"Ringo, I… I don't know what to… I didn't mean for-"
"Ikki," Ringo cut him off, pushing herself only slightly away from Ikki but remaining close, finding comfort in Ikki's arms. Still, her eyes were wavering and downcast, but Ikki could see the tears drip to the floor. The storm rider shook her head viciously, seeming like she was trying to shake away the memories of what she'd just seen. Perhaps, Ikki assumed, her tears were a mix of heartbreak and whatever else she was trying to say. A double whammy that Ikki felt entirely responsible for.
Ikki stooped over a ways to try and force Ringo to look at him. His hands squeezed her shoulders in reassurance and he licked his dry lips.
"Ringo. Talk to me."
"I came to tell you, Ikki," she said miserably, palms digging into her eyes to dry them and keep them from seeing the boy she admired so much because she was terrified of what she might find there in his eyes. Things like admiration or feelings for someone that wasn't her. "Th-there's been another murder."