A/N: Somehow it seems like this chapter took a while to get done, so I apologize for the wait. One reason I've been able to update so often (aside from already having it written) is that I've been out of a job for a while. I recently got a job offer, which means I will be busy again and updates will get further apart. Don't worry, though; I will still update at least once a week. More often if I get the chance. It's not for certain yet, but I'm hopeful! :)

I own nothing. Enjoy!

Give Me a Sign

Chapter Twenty

Loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt
That you hide
When you're lost inside, I
I'll be there to find you

- You Are Loved (Don't Give Up) – Josh Groban

Jacob

"You seem all bright and chipper today," Leah said as we got ready for work on Monday.

"Yep." I hadn't stopped thinking about Nessie saying she loved me. Or the kiss we shared. I'd known kissing her was going to be good, but I didn't know how good. I couldn't wait to see her after work so I could kiss her again.

Leah looked me over as we walked into the nearly-finished building. I wasn't giving anything up yet. She'd either guess or drag it out of me eventually, but I was going to have fun with this.

"So, what happened? Did you get laid?"

I scowled at her and shook my head. "Can't I be in a good mood without fucking something?"

She shrugged. "Sure, I guess. Is it Nessie?" I was pretty sure I hadn't reacted to her question, but she smacked my arm. "What happened with Nessie? Did you kiss her? Did she kiss you? Did you tell her you love her?"

I rolled my eyes. Damn woman and her damn perceptiveness. "Yes, I kissed her. Yes, she kissed me back. I'm taking her out tonight."

Leah squealed. Actually squealed like a little pig. "Jake, that's wonderful! You two are going to be so happy together. What happened? Did you just tell her and kiss her?"

I laughed. "No. I'll tell you on lunch."

As we worked, I thought about how Nessie was doing. I wondered if she'd have to clean out her desk and how she'd get everything home. On lunch, I told Leah about what had happened the day before. I dragged it out, starting with the fight and how Nessie had pissed me off more than ever. Leah crossed her arms over her chest and gave me a look that said she was impatient for the good stuff. I ignored her.

"You said you kissed her, Jake. When did you kiss her?"

"I'm getting to that; don't get your panties in a bunch." I waved my hand at her, and she glared at me. "Then she's saying something ridiculous about how nothing's going to be equal again. When have things ever been equal with us? We're both pretty fucked up. I asked her why it even needed to be, and she said she was afraid I'd leave if it was all on me. She said she couldn't lose me because she loves me."

I paused, and Leah's eyes widened. She grinned and smacked my shoulder. "And here I thought you said it first. She's clearly the braver one for spitting it out like that."

I shrugged. "Yeah, probably. Then I kissed her."

"And? Was she good?"

I snorted. "What is she, a dessert? She was fucking fantastic."

"And you're taking her out tonight on your first real date. I'm excited for you, Jake." She punched my arm.

"Thanks."

Leah smiled. "I'll stay home tonight. You'll probably need advice. You can call any time."

"I won't need any advice. It's not like I've never taken a girl out before. I took you out plenty of times." I bumped her shoulder as we started to get our shit together.

"My point exactly."

I glared at her but left it alone. Lunch was over, and we had to get back to work anyway.

I left at four and went home to shower. I was excited and maybe a little worried about Nessie. I wanted to know how the day had gone for her. If they'd given her too much shit, I would make them regret it. I was still pissed that she hadn't told me about the note. I wanted her to trust me enough to tell me anything. It hurt a little that she thought I'd leave if she put too much on me. I wasn't sure if I was more upset that she didn't tell me or that I couldn't do anything about them firing her. If she'd gotten the note and they fired her, I could do plenty. I could fight for her.

I dried off and went to my room. I wanted to take Ness to the place I'd first taken her to dinner. It was nice and romantic. I was lost on what to wear, though. Should I wear a tie? Should I go casual? I groaned to myself and went through my closet. I thought only girls were supposed to freak out about their clothes. Besides, I'd taken Ness to dinner plenty of times. This was different, though. This time I was taking her out on a real date, hopefully to convince her we were good for each other.

I got out two shirts and looked at both of them. Neither looked right. Fuck, this first date thing was confusing. I wasn't even sure why I was confused. This was Nessie; there had never been any need to be anything but myself around her.

At five-fifteen, I gave up and called Leah.

"Please tell me you're calling for advice," she said when she answered.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not calling for advice, I just need to know if I should wear a tie or not." She'd see right through me, but I didn't care.

She laughed. "That would be giving my advice."

"No, Leah, that would be giving your opinion."

"Okay, sure, whatever. Where are you taking her?"

"Alexi's Grill." A grill didn't need a tie, did it?

"That's a nice place. No tie. Wear a button up shirt and leave the first three buttons undone. Slacks or nice jeans. And by nice jeans, I mean I'll kick your ass if you wear your work jeans."

I raised an eyebrow. "What the hell's the difference?"

Her sigh was frustrated. "Just wear slacks; it'll save you in the long run."

I nodded and went back to my closet. "Should I take her a flower or something?"

"Are you sixteen? Flowers are nice and all, but you're not trying to convince her you like her. She knows that. Just be yourself."

I snorted. "Sure, sure. Be myself."

She laughed. "Jake, are you nervous?"

"What? Hell no. Why would I be nervous?" My palms were sweating, and my heart was beating double time. But I wasn't nervous. I was… anxious. Eager, and maybe a little impatient.

"Because if you blow this, you'll never have another chance."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, Leah. That helps a lot." Fuck it; I was nervous.

"Anytime, Jake." I could hear the smile in her voice. "When are you picking her up?"

I glanced at my watch. "At six, about a half an hour."

"What the hell are you doing still on the phone? Go get dressed. Top three buttons undone and slacks. Got it?"

I smiled. "Yep. Work jeans and dirty shirt. Got it."

She started to say something, but I hung up before she could finish. I laughed to myself and dug out one of the two pairs of slacks I owned and a black button-up shirt. Like Leah suggested, I left the first three buttons undone. I felt like a douche. I ignored it and went into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

I showed up at Nessie's right at six o'clock. Somehow I felt like I should have something for her. Even a box of chocolates. Something.

Nessie opened a minute later and stepped back to let me in. She smiled up at me as she closed the door.

"Hi," she said softly. She was dressed in her jeans with a low-cut purple top I liked. Her hair was done in curls with the top pinned back, and she'd put on a little bit of makeup. I loved that she didn't put a lot on. She was a natural beauty and didn't need all the war paint some women wore.

"Hey." I pulled her to me and hugged her tightly. "How are you? How did things go today?"

She shrugged and rested her head on my chest. "It went okay, I guess. Pretty much how I expected."

I kissed the top of her head. "I take it you won't be going back?"

She sighed and looked up at me. "No, I won't. I brought everything home and they told me to get my final check tomorrow." Her eyes watered, and she sniffled as she put her forehead back on my chest.

I petted her hair for a minute and let her cry. She sniffled again and pulled back.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I shouldn't be like this."

I furrowed my brow and took her hand to lead her to the couch. I sat down and pulled her onto my lap. "Nessie, listen to me. I don't like it when you hold things that bother you inside. Talk to me, please. I know it's not going to solve anything, but it will make you feel better."

She stared at me as though she wasn't sure she believed what I said. She sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "I'm scared." She licked her lips and looked down. Her fingers started to pick at the buttons on my shirt. "I'm… worried about what's going to happen now." She glanced up at me briefly. "I mean, I've known for a while that I probably wasn't going to have my job for very long, but now it's real. I went to the library after work and put in some more applications, but I don't know how much luck I'm going to have." She sniffled and wiped her face. I just rubbed her back and waited for her to finish. "I also looked up some apartments in the area, but I'm nervous to look at anything without knowing if I'd be able to pay for it or if it would be close enough to where I'd be working if I get another job."

She leaned down and put her head on my shoulder. I wanted to tell her to forget about apartments or working; she could just live with me, and I'd take care of her. I didn't want to scare her, though. I'd only talked to her about staying with me as a last resort until she found something else, and this was only our first date. I cleared my throat and kissed her head.

"How much time do you have left?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I'd have to look at the paper again, and I really don't want to right now."

I nodded. "That's okay." I kissed her head again and let her rest quietly. After a few minutes, she sat up.

"God, I'm sorry, Jake. I'm totally ruining our date." She wiped her face and started to get up. I caught her waist and held her against me.

"No, you're not ruining anything. The restaurant doesn't close until nine, so we have plenty of time."

"But I'm crying, and I probably have mascara all over my face now."

She actually did. She had a few black streaks, some smeared from when she wiped her cheeks. I smiled and smeared another line.

"You're still beautiful."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure."

I didn't like that she doubted what I'd said. I lifted her face with my fingers under chin and made her look at me. She met my eyes, hers bright from her tears.

"You're gorgeous, Ness. You always have been."

She blushed, and her eyes flickered down before she met mine again. "Not always. I wasn't last week."

I sighed and beat down a rush of annoyance. As much as I wanted to physically force her to believe me, I'd only end up pushing her away. I did my best at a softer approach. "I thought you were. There hasn't been one time where I thought you were anything less than beautiful."

She shook her head. "Thank you, Jake, but I'm not. I need to go fix myself so I can go with you."

Before I could say anything, she leaned forward and kissed me. It was a quick peck on the lips, but I hadn't expected her to be the one to kiss me. It stunned me enough that she was able to get away. As I watched her walk down the hall, I promised myself that someday, somehow, I would convince her she was beautiful.

I got up and paced the room slowly until she came back out with her makeup redone. She smiled shyly up at me.

"Is this okay?" She asked, waving her hands down her body. It took me a second to realize she was talking about her outfit.

"Yeah, that's fine." I went to her and put my arm around her shoulders. She looked up at me with a tiny frown on her lips.

"Are you sure? You look so nice." She blushed and glanced down.

I was maybe a little too happy about her comment. I cleared my throat and kissed her head. "I'm only wearing this because Leah threatened life and limb if I wore the wrong Jeans. I don't get women sometimes."

Nessie laughed and looked back up at me. "I don't get Leah most of the time."

I squeezed her shoulders and smiled. "True. Honestly, Ness, you look fine. Are you ready to go?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm ready."

I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Good. Let's go then."

She smiled and nodded. I took her hand, and we left.

The restaurant was the same as I remembered it. As we walked in, I put my arm around Nessie's shoulders. She smiled and stepped closer to me. The hostess took us to a table, and Nessie sat next to me. I already knew what I wanted, but Nessie took her time looking at the menu. When she'd decided, she put her menu down and smiled at me. I opened my hand on the table and smiled when she took it. She intertwined our fingers, and I noticed her blush. She didn't look away from our hands, though. I liked it.

I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't like feeling uncertain like this. Just because we were dating now didn't mean I had to act any differently. I leaned closer to her and cleared my throat. She looked up at me expectantly.

"Tell me something new about you, Ness." It was my fallback on almost anything with her.

She shrugged. "I might have to think about it for a minute."

"That's fine." I looked around, hoping for something random to get her talking. I noticed a waitress at another table pouring coffee. "Do you like coffee?"

She wrinkled her nose. "No, not really. It's bitter and gross. You?"

"Yeah, sometimes. I have to be in the mood for it though. Have you ever tried a frappuccino?"

She shook her head. "What's a frappuccino?"

"It's coffee with other stuff in it, like vanilla or chocolate. I don't like them, but Leah does. They're sweet instead of bitter." I didn't understand the appeal, but whatever.

"Maybe I'll have to try one sometime." She smiled and squeezed my hand.

I rubbed her thumb with mine. "I'll get you one sometime."

She leaned over to rest her head on my shoulder. The waiter came by, and I gave him our orders. Nessie sat back up but didn't take her hand from mine. We were both quiet again for a minute after the waiter left.

"I've never been drunk," she said.

I raised an eyebrow, confused for a second before I realized she was telling me something new about her. "Neither have I."

She smirked. "There was some vodka and stuff on top of the fridge from… from before. I tried it once, but it was so nasty. I wanted to get drunk, but I couldn't force myself to drink enough to do it. I think I got a little tipsy, though."

"Leah could probably show you the good stuff. I have a drink every now and then, but I don't drink a lot because of my meds."

She nodded and smiled up at me. She was giving me the same look she'd been giving me the last few weeks; the one that I thought meant she wanted me to kiss her. After Saturday, I wanted to believe I was over this hesitation and just kiss her. The thought that there was still some slight chance she'd pull back made me nervous. I cleared my throat and leaned a little closer to her. Instead of pulling back, she raised her chin slightly.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked. I prayed she let me.

She licked her lips and nodded. "Yes, please."

I smiled and closed the space between us. Her lips were soft and so sweet. Whatever she had on them tasted like mint and made my lips tingle. I pulled back and met her eyes again. "I love you." It felt so good to finally be able to say that.

She smiled. "I love you, too."

I kissed her again just because I could. I had to remind myself that we were in a restaurant and couldn't go too far.

Our food was delivered a few minutes later. As much as I hated it, I had to take my hand back to eat. She didn't seem bothered. We ate for a while, and she complimented the food. It was good. I thought about the last time we'd been here. I barely knew her then, and didn't know I had to tiptoe around her. Now I didn't need to be so careful. I knew her better, and while I was still concerned and took extra care with some things, it was nice to know that she'd come to me when she hurt.

Nessie took my hand again when we'd finished eating. She rested her head on my shoulder and put her other hand on her stomach.

"I'm so full, but that was so good." She looked up at me and smiled.

I chuckled and kissed her. "I'm glad. Do you want any dessert?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you."

"Okay. Do you want to stay for a while, or are you ready to go?"

She met my eyes for a minute. "I'm ready to go." She sat back up and smiled.

I paid the check, and we left. The drive back to her house was pretty quick. She pulled a green tube of chapstick out of her pocket and put some on. I wondered if that was the tingly mint stuff. I kind of hoped it was. When we got to her house, I went in with her.

"Thank you, Jake. I had a great time." She started to pick at her fingernails.

"I did, too. Thank you for coming with me." I touched her hair. When she looked up at me, I kissed her. I had only meant for it to be a little kiss, but she took my shoulders and stood on her toes. I wrapped my arms around her and we both opened to deepen the kiss. The tingly mint on her lips was driving me crazy. The feel of her body so close to me, her arms around my neck, and her tongue on mine made me wild.

My hands rubbed down her back to her hips. I wanted to feel her everywhere. Before I could stop myself, one hand slipped over her jeans to her ass. She whimpered and tightened her hold on my neck. I squeezed her ass, pulling her a little closer, as my other hand moved up her side. I felt the swell of her tit. She was too close to grab her, so I lingered for a second before I dragged my fingers back to her hip. Damn it, I was so fucking hard. I wanted to lay her down on the nearest flat surface and fuck her. When I felt myself lifting up on her shirt, I realized how far we'd already gone. Her breathing hitched, and she brought one hand down to grab my wrist. She broke the kiss and moved back, her eyes hooded but nervous.

"Jake?"

I took a deep breath and moved both my hands to her waist. "I'm sorry, Ness. I kind of lost control there for a second."

"That's okay."

It was so not okay. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I'd touched her ass and kind of touched her tits. The side still counted, didn't it? It did now, regardless. I fucking groped her and tried to take her shirt off. Dammit, I had to be more careful. Like Leah said, if I fucked this up, I wouldn't get another chance.

"Thanks, but I should probably go."

Her brow furrowed and she pouted just a tiny bit. It was so cute. She took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay." She looked down and picked at her fingernails again.

"I have to help Leah with something tomorrow, but maybe I can come by after? Or after work on Wednesday?" I ran my fingers through her hair and admired the curls.

She nodded again. "Sure." She didn't look up. Instead, she turned from me and took a few steps away. She was obviously upset about something, and I wondered if what happened had scared her. I moved closer and put my hand on her shoulder.

"You okay, Ness?"

She still didn't look up at me. She nodded, but I wasn't convinced. I made her look up at me, and the tears in her eyes felt like a swift kick in the gut.

"Nessie, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to let things get so out of control. I promise it won't happen again." I prayed she knew I meant it. Instead of calming down, it seemed like I'd made it worse. Two tears fell down her cheeks, and she sniffled.

She moved away from me again and shook her head. "It's okay, Jake. I'm fine."

Goddammit! "You're not fine, Nessie. You're crying, for God's sake. What do you want me to do? I'm sorry." I wanted to be over all this bullshit. If I'd upset her, I wanted to talk to me and tell me how badly I'd fucked up, then tell me how to fix it.

She looked up at me. "Please don't be sorry." Her voice and eyes were pleading. I wanted to give her what she was asking for, but how could I not be sorry for that?

I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. "Nessie, you don't understand―"

"But I do understand." She stepped away from me again and crossed her arms over her stomach like she felt sick. "I understand that I'm not…" her voice broke, and she sniffled again. "I don't have the right kind of body." It was barely a whisper, but I knew I'd heard her right.

I was shocked for a second. How the hell had I made her feel inadequate? Fucking hell, this woman was confusing. "What in the world makes you think that, Ness? Your body is perfect." A part of me realized I was walking into very dangerous territory.

She scoffed. "Right. Then why are you sorry for touching me?"

Another kick in the gut. "I never said I was sorry for touching you." I made her look at me again. "Nessie, I'm not sorry for touching you. I'm sorry for trying to take off your shirt."

She sniffled and stared at me silently for a second. She looked so confused and hurt, and I wished I could take all of it away. She sucked in a shaky breath and licked her lips. "Really?"

I kissed her lips lightly. "Really, Ness. I… Um…" I wasn't sure how to tell her how much I loved her body. "I really think you're very beautiful."

"You're just sorry for lifting my shirt?" Her eyes were hopeful.

I chuckled and kissed her again. "Yes."

"Oh. Okay. In that case, I accept your apology." She smiled and wiped her eyes.

"Thank you. I promise it won't happen again, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay, but the other stuff can happen again, right?"

God, I loved her. "If you're comfortable with it, then yes."

"Good."

I hugged her tightly and kissed her head. "I love you."

She squeezed my waist. "I love you, too. I'm sorry I freaked out."

"Don't be sorry, Ness. Just talk to me if you ever feel like that, okay? If we're going to make this work, we're both going to have to work on that." I could admit I sucked pretty hard when it came to talking about how I felt, especially when I was upset.

She nodded. "I promise I'll try."

That was all I could really ask of her. "Me, too."

She took a deep breath and stood on her toes to kiss me. "Okay. So you'll come see me again either tomorrow or Wednesday right?"

"Yes. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know for sure which. Or both." My hands went to her hips. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to tell her to just come home with me and move in. I decided I would give her a week to get used to us being together, then I would ask her to move in with me. It was fast, but given the situation with her house, I felt it was appropriate.

"Both would be good." She leaned in to rest her forehead on my chest. I held her tightly for a second. "You probably should go home and rest, Jake. You might need it to deal with Leah."

"Yeah, I guess." She looked up at me, and I kissed her again. "Love you."

She smiled brightly. "Love you, too."

I finally left a few minutes later with the thought that I'd see her again the next day.

A/N: Aw, everything seems to be going so well for them, don't ya think? Thank you for reading!

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