Chapter twenty-one
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Christine
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I looked at him for a moment and then I slowly stood up and went to him, he touched my face. I kissed his palm and then his lips, he responded. He looked at me again, and I began to kiss him again, but this time he pushed me away gently and stroked my cheek instead. Charles began to gurgle and then he let out a long wail and all at once Erik seemed to forget what he had been doing as he ran to the bed gathering him up. I watched my husband hold him and make shushing sounds. I could not believe how easily he was able to go from husband to father as he did whenever the child cried.
I sat down next to him and watched him hold the child to his chest and rock him, telling him not to cry, that it broke his heart when he cried. The pressure of tears formed behind my eyes and I had to close them to hold them back. The sound of his tenor's voice was soft, so much so that it soothed both of us. I felt myself becoming sleepy…so sleepy… my head lolled on something warm, smoothly soft my ears heard him crooning to the baby. My child's cries turned to gurgles, then silence.
My world went black and when I woke again it was gray-blue with fading twilight and Erik was playing with my hair as Charles snoozed in his bassinet. My head was still so thick with sleep that my eyes were refusing to open. When they did however, I noticed that Erik looked even more sleepy-headed than I was. I sat up and lowered him down so that his head was in my lap and he sighed.
My hands automatically began to smooth the hair back from his forehead and soon he was sleeping like a babe, as was I a few moments after. I did not know how long I was drowsing but when I woke my son was whimpering with hunger and so I rose, taking him into my arms and beginning to nurse him. It took me a few minutes to register that Erik was not there and looking around I saw a sheet of paper folded up neatly beside me and after securing Charles to me with one hand I flipped open the paper.
Christine,
Gone to take care of business matters be home by six
All my love:
Erik Alexander D'Aubert
P.S. I have a surprise for you, so leave Charles with Justine for a while and be ready at the door.
I sighed did he not know that I hated surprises, particularly from the man whom for the longest time I had thought was the devil's magician. I rubbed my face and looked down at my babe, he stared back sleepily at me with his raindrop eyes, all-alight and sparkling innocence. I began to tickle him, smiling as he made chirping sounds, Erik is right. He is so beautiful. Charles fell asleep in my lap as I rocked him back and forth, dozing myself. I was still so tired from birthing him that I often fell asleep without realizing I had done so. I sleep so deeply now, that sometimes Erik rouses me out so as to make sure I have not died.
Charles must've been having a nightmare because he woke and cried out so I began to rock him but that just would not seem to quiet him. I felt my heart begin to ache sharply in my chest, now I understood what Erik was talking about when he said it broke his heart when his son wept. Mine was shattering hearing it.
"Shush dear heart, shush." I whispered.
"No more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears.
I'm here, nothing can harm you; my words will warm and calm you.
Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry your tears.
I'm here, with you beside you, to guard you and to guide you.
Let me be your shelter, let me be your light.
You're safe, no one will find you; your fears are far behind you…"
I did not need to finish the lullaby as my babe closed his eyes, his tiny hand wrapped around mine. Smiling I pressed his face to my bosom and wondered to myself who he would take-after the most when he was able to talk. Charles gurgled and let out a little chirp as he pointed to the picture of his father. I smiled; he was such a smart little boy. My smile turned to giggles as he wrapped his other hand around my finger and began to make moist sounds that sounded like kissing more than anything else, still holding my finger and pointing to the picture with his other.
"Oh aren't we clever." I said in mock-disapproval, "Your father should have named you Romeo Don Juan instead of Charles Christian." I laughed as he gave me a toothless smile.
He cooed and reached up, I bent over him and let him touch my cheek with his little hand. "Now isn't that just adorable." Came a deep voice, I looked up to see my husband standing in the doorway, a charming smile plastered on his face. He came up to the bed and sat down on the edge. He leaned over and kissed first his son then myself. I looked at the clock. Five minutes to six. I realized I was not ready and handed him the baby so I could make myself so.
He took him in his arms and began to bounce him on his knee looking at him with such adoration it made me want to cry. He gathered Charles close to him and made shushing sounds to amuse the child. Charles laughed and cooed reaching with his tiny hands to grab at his father's nose. I smiled and finished readying myself but when I returned he was making no move to rise. Instead he motioned for me to sit beside him, when I did he set Charles in my arms and reached into his coat pocket. Erik produced a little black pocketbook and opened it revealing a lovely picture of a woman in a bed with her lover's arms around her, handing it to me and reclaiming Charles in his arms, bouncing him on his knee again. I told him that it was a lovely picture and that he should definitely put it in his gallery. He smiled, thanked me, and dropped the subject. We sat in silence for a few moments.
When I put the book down, Erik held the now sleeping Charles out to me. Confused I took him into my arms, but he lay me down and told me to hold still. When I made to ask why he put his fingers to my lips and took out a piece of charcoal from the embers, freshly blackened but slightly cooled. I raised my eyebrows but he shook his head and told me not to do that and for God's sakes would I relax? I obliged him and he began to scratch at a blank page of his book. The sound was soothing and my eyes began to droop he smiled and nodded as if approving of my sleepiness.
I sat there watching him and tried not to doze off for a few minutes until he flipped the page over and pushed me down gently. That did it, my eyes closed and I clocked out. He lay down beside me so that my head fell on his chest and when I woke again he was, as usual playing with my hair. I kissed his chest and lifted his shirt running little kisses down to his navel and flicking my tongue on the button. He groaned and shook his head pulling my head up and giving me a firm kiss.
I gripped his back and he ran his hands down my body and back up to my breast. He fingered my nipple and then lowered his mouth to suckle there, I tossed my head back and he reached up to hold my head in place. My breath coming hard, I had to let him hold me up for fear I would drop as he reached down and pressed my center. Erik looked at me as he made my chemise sink into the most intimate place on my body. The baby, still snoozing in my arms gave a little laugh and we broke away to put him to bed.
"Christine, please, let me court you."
"I cannot."
He pulled away and got up walking out of the room with a slow pained wake. I tried to reach for him but he simply walked on.
When he had left I passed my hands over my eyes. I did not let him court me because I already think I love him…