Hello, all of my dear, dear readers! I know, I know it's been WAY too long. I can't apologize enough for that. I don't want to give away too much of my identity...but I will say that I started a job within my career field and it has consumed most of my time these past few months. I love writing these stories though so I'm trying to balance things out to make sure I still have time for my favorite hobby. Thank you for staying with me and for understanding! I love you all!

Anyway, hope you enjoy the update! Reviews are appreciated!

Happy reading! :)

Chapter 20

~Katniss~

I had just fallen asleep when the sound of wheels clicking woke me up with a start. I sat up and turned to see Peeta locking the wheels on his wheelchair by my bed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok," I replied. "I would have woken up from a nightmare without you anyway."

He smiled sadly at me.

"Where were you?" I asked. Normally, he would come to my hospital room after dinner and spend the night with me.

"I had another meeting in Command," he answered, not meeting my eyes as he crawled into the bed next to me. My suspicions rose.

"Another one? You've had a million of them since Snow's propo came out."

He nodded. "I know. They're trying to decide how to best counter it."

A thought occurred to me. "Do they want me to do a propo in response?"

"No, they don't want you to do anything except rest."

Now I knew he was lying. Coin wouldn't care about me getting my rest. She would want me in front of a camera again as soon as possible.

I glared at Peeta. How could he lie to me?

He sensed me glaring at him and slowly looked up at me.

"You're lying," I whispered dangerously.

He dropped his eyes again. "I'm not, Katniss. You need to rest and get better. Especially with…" He hesitantly reached out to touch my abdomen but I swatted his hand away. He looked up at me in surprise.

"You're lying!" I raised my voice. "We promised not to do that anymore, Peeta!"

He looked so like a wounded puppy in that moment that I almost felt bad for yelling at him. Almost.

After a long moment he finally said, "Katniss, I…I didn't lie to you…"

"You are!" I cut him off.

"Let me finish," he replied calmly.

I crossed my arms and waited for him to continue.

"I didn't lie to you…but I didn't tell you the whole truth." He took a breath. "President Coin has agreed to let you recover and rest during your pregnancy if I took your place as the Mockingjay."

Out of all the things I expected him to say, that hadn't even crossed my mind. I stared at him dumbfounded as I tried to grasp the concept. Peeta as the Mockingjay?

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry," he added quickly. "Please don't be mad at me, Katniss. I just wanted what was best for you and Lily."

I blinked when I heard him refer to the growing being within me by a name. The name that I picked out. My anger slightly melted away.

"Peeta," I began in a calmer voice. "I…I know that you're just trying to protect me. That's what you and I do. But please don't hide things from me. I can handle them. You and Prim are the only people in the world that I completely trust…don't mess that up."

He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands as he replied, "Okay. I'm sorry, Katniss."

We sat there for a moment until I slowly reached over and took one of his hands and placed it on my abdomen where Lily was kicking. It was my way of showing him that I forgave him. And my way of apologizing for swatting his hand away before.

His face lit up again as Lily moved around beneath his hand. She always seemed to move more when she heard his voice or when he touched my stomach. I wondered how she would react to him when she saw him for the first time…

"I love you, Katniss," he whispered before he placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I love you too…So you're really going to take my place as the Mockingjay?"

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"Have they filmed you yet?"

His face fell. "Well…they tried."

My eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Tried?"

He nodded. "I…I had a panic attack in the film studio."

I placed my hand over his. "Peeta," I said with concern.

"I'm okay. I hit my head on the floor when I passed out but the doctor stitched it up."

"Show me," I ordered.

He turned his head slightly to reveal the cut on his temple. They had cut some of his hair away around it so there wasn't much hiding it.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"No, not really. I didn't even feel it when it happened."

I nodded, relieved that he hadn't been in pain. "So are they going to try to make you film again?"

"Yeah, but I had a new doctor come in today. He helped me talk through things so I know what usually triggers them and how to determine when I'm starting to have one."

"Well, that's good right?"

He nodded. "Definitely. It helped a lot. But he also helped me figure out what seems to keep me from having them at all."

"Oh?" I questioned.

He turned to me. "You."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Whenever I'm around you, I don't seem to have any panic attacks. You're like the cure."

"So, what – I have to stay with you all the time or something?" I asked jokingly.

He chuckled. "Well, not all the time. Just when I think I'll be in a situation that could trigger one. Like when I'm filming a propo."

I searched his face as I realized what he was saying. "So anytime you're filming a propo, I need to be there?"

He nodded. "Yeah, that would help."

"But I won't have to be in front of the camera?"

"No, just behind it so I can see you." He smiled.

"Okay, I can do that."

"Good. I was hoping you would say that."

He leaned forward to plant a long, tender kiss on my lips.

After he pulled away he said, "I don't think I'll ever get used to kissing you."

"What do you mean? You've been kissing me for a long time now. Since our first Games."

"I know," he replied, somewhat dreamily. "But this is different. I know your feelings for me are real now."

I kissed him deeply again just as confirmation.

After we pulled apart, Lily kicked again

With the way he was gently moving his hand in soothing motions across my abdomen, it didn't take long for me to fall back asleep.

The next couple of months passed slowly. My ribs healed and I was able to finally move out of the hospital and back in with my mom and Prim. Peeta's leg healed up and he finally got a new prosthetic. They wouldn't let him move out of the hospital for a couple of weeks after he got it though because he was having such a hard time walking with it.

This prosthetic was much less advanced than his Capitol one had been. It wasn't flexible, it was stiff and awkward. When he first got it, Haymitch and I were in his hospital room, watching protectively as the doctor showed Peeta how to put it on. Then, when he stood up and tried to take his first step, he fell flat on his face. I ran to his side to help him up with the doctor while Haymitch laughed obnoxiously.

I made Haymitch leave the room after that while the doctor and I helped Peeta practice walking. He was very unsteady and shaky, it reminded me of watching Prim try to walk for the first time when she was a toddler.

After awhile, I could tell Peeta was getting frustrated by his clipped responses to the doctor's questions and the flush that had begun to creep into his neck.

"Why don't we stop for today?" I suggested.

Peeta passed a look of gratitude to me while the doctor agreed and we helped him to sit down on his hospital bed.

After the prosthetic was removed and he was settled back into his bed, his hair damp with sweat from the exertion, I kissed him tenderly.

"What was that for?" he asked with a small smile after I pulled away.

"I don't know," I mumbled. "I just thought you could use a kiss after that."

He laughed. "Yeah, it wasn't very fun."

"You'll get the hang of it. We just need to keep practicing."

He sighed. "I know."

I moved to sit on the bed next to him as he withdrew his sketch pad from beneath his pillows. I knew he was trying to relax, so I silently put my head on his shoulder as I watched him draw. It took me awhile to figure out what it was he was drawing, but after about an hour, it suddenly became clear.

It was the Victors Village in District 12.

"Do you think we'll ever go home?" he asked so quietly that I wasn't sure I had heard him.

"I don't know," I said. Lily kicked just then. "I hope we can...for her. I wouldn't want to raise her here."

Peeta nodded slowly in agreement, but he stared straight ahead as if he were a million miles away.

"What?" I asked him, gently shaking his arm.

"Oh, nothing," he replied, his eyes refocusing as he turned toward me. "I just couldn't agree more."

I smiled at him, but something seemed off.

Like he was worried about something.

Even though my assigned quarters were with my mother and Prim, I often found my way into Peeta's after he was allowed to move out of the hospital. If my mother had a problem with it she never said anything. She had barely even reacted when I told her I was pregnant. She merely replied, "I know." And that was it.

Every once in a while she would ask how I was feeling, if I felt any pain or discomfort, to which I usually replied no. Then she would nod and continue on with whatever she was doing, which was usually getting ready for her medical duties.

Prim usually babied me a bit more. She would ask me more thorough questions to make sure I wasn't having any problems with my pregnancy. But surprisingly, I wasn't having any problems that I knew of. Even after being shot in the ribs.

Sometimes I caught myself wondering how I would have felt if I had lost the baby. But whenever I tried to imagine it, I would get this sick feeling in my stomach and would feel a pang in my chest. I realized that I had become attached to it...to her.

I swore to myself that I would never fall in love. Never get married. Never have children. And here I was, pregnant and in love with Peeta.

One night, after we had made love in his bed, I remained awake long after Peeta had fallen asleep. As I reveled in the feeling of his bare chest pressed against my back, his one leg woven between mine, and his soft breathing tickling the hairs along my ear, I let myself think about the future.

Would I ever marry Peeta?

I thought about when we had been engaged before the Quarter Quell. When I suggested that we get married. I remembered he had looked sadder then than when I had broken his heart right after our first Games.

I knew that being engaged to me was killing him. He wanted so much for it to be real. But now, looking back and admitting my true feelings to myself, I wasn't truly upset about having to marry him. I wouldn't say I was excited at such a dire time, but I knew that he would take care of me. Treat me well. Pamper me even. I could see myself falling in love with him.

Now that I had finally admitted my true feelings, I let myself dream about a future with him. Falling asleep like this every night. Waking up to him every morning. Watching him spoil our daughter. Maybe he would try to teach me how to bake. I could take him to the lake in the woods.

My thoughts turned into pleasant dreams as I fell asleep.

Peeta

Gale and I had kept a close eye on President Coin and Commander Steele. However, neither of us ever caught them doing anything suspicious. We had told Haymitch about the situation and he hadn't seen or heard anything either.

I was starting to wonder if Gale and I had misinterpreted the events in District 2. After two months had passed, I mentioned this to Gale to which he responded, "It's still too soon. They could be waiting for the right moment and the right place. The moment where no one will be expecting it and the place where no one will be suspicious of them."

I agreed and continued talk late evening walks near Command. I had the perfect excuse...I was practicing walking with my new prosthetic leg.

I usually tried to come back before Katniss went to bed but that didn't always happen. I could tell she was a little suspicious but she didn't question me.

My Mockingjay duties hadn't been nearly as overwhelming as I'd thought. Plutarch told me that President Coin was letting me get used to my new leg. She wanted to film me standing up, looking strong. The implication that I looked weak in a wheelchair wasn't lost on me.

Gale's leg had finally healed too and he was able to walk. He moved more stiffly than before but his doctor said that was just from lack of use. He would get strong again. This gave him a good excuse for his nightly walks too.

He went at night because we both agreed he was stealthier even with a stiff leg. And if Coin and Steele were meeting, chances were it was at night. But if they were meeting at night, it wasn't in Command because Gale never saw them there.

One morning, I woke up to find Katniss staring at me with a soft smile gracing her lips. I smiled back as I stretched.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, just thinking," she replied sheepishly.

"About what?"

She lowered her eyes and I could feel her hand come up between us to rub her abdomen.

"The future," she said almost shyly.

"Good things about the future I hope," I said.

She nodded. "Yeah. I just hope this war is over soon so the future can get here sooner."

She looked back up at me and smiled.

"I wholeheartedly agree," I replied as I leaned forward to kiss her.

After we got up and got dressed, we headed to the cafeteria for breakfast. We must have looked funny as we made our way there. Me, limping while I walked, still slightly adjusting to my new leg. And Katniss, waddling, with her large stomach protruding from her thin frame.

We sat at a table with Gale, Johanna, Finnick and Annie, who had gotten married shortly after we had been rescued from the Capitol. They were sitting close together, Finnick whispering in Annie's ear and leaving gentle, tender kisses on her cheek.

When Katniss and I sat down, Johanna looked up at us.

"Well, look who decided to show up for breakfast. Finally decided to leave the bed?" she asked with a smirk.

I could feel my face flush crimson and didn't even need to look at Katniss to know hers was too.

"Just stop, Johanna," I said with a warning in my tone. I didn't feel like dealing with her vulgarity today and Katniss didn't feel like dealing with it any day.

Johanna chuckled but didn't make another comment.

We ate in silence for a few moments before Gale said, "Peeta, there's a meeting in Command after breakfast."

"Alright," I nodded as I took another bite of oatmeal.

"Finnick, they want you to be there too," Gale stated.

I could see the disappointment in his eyes but he nodded anyway. He didn't want to leave Annie. I understood. I didn't want to leave Katniss, but I knew that I had to keep up with the goings-on in Command to protect her.

So, after breakfast, I kissed her goodbye and headed to Command with Gale and Finnick. Was it just me, or did the lights seem to grow darker as we drew closer to Command?

When we arrived, Coin, Steele, Plutarch, Boggs, Beetee, Haymitch, Cressida, Pollux, and Castor were already waiting for us.

"Good morning, gentlemen," Coin greeted us, her dead eyes sending familiar shivers down my spine.

We greeted her in return before sitting down at empty seats around the large glass table. I sat down next to Haymitch who sent me a concerned look. But it was so quick I wasn't sure if that's what I had really seen in his eyes.

"Now that everyone is present, I would like to begin," Coin announced.

She paused before she continued. "As you all know, Mr. Mellark has volunteered to take Miss Everdeen's place as the Mockingjay due to her pregnancy. However, we decided to wait to start filming him until he had adjusted to his new prosthetic leg."

I felt a nervous vibration run through my body.

"His doctor assures me that he has healed, has been released from the hospital, and has adjusted to his leg. With that knowledge, Plutarch and I have agreed to film him in a new propo in the same way we did with Miss Everdeen."

I held my breath. What did she mean?

"She was most effective when she was in the field and the propo was not scripted. We believe this same technique will be effective with Mr. Mellark as well since he has previously made it evident that he also does not need a script."

President Coin stopped, a pleased expression on her face.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Haymitch lean forward on his elbows. "So you're sending him to another district."

"Yes," Coin replied. "But he is not the only one. Our propo crew will go with him, along with Boggs, Soldier Hawthorne, Soldier O'Dair and some others you all have yet to meet."

I could feel the air leaving my lungs. I was being sent away from Katniss…I couldn't help but wonder if Coin had somehow found out that we knew about her plot to murder her.

I glanced up at Finnick who was sitting across from me. I could see the sadness flickering in his emerald eyes. I looked over to Gale and saw the storm raging in his silver ones.

"Where are you sending us?" Gale asked in a controlled tone.

Coin smiled widely, her lips curling back in a way that reminded me of President Snow as she replied, "To the Capitol."

Next chapter coming soon!