Mt. Justice

December 27th

9:54 EDT

"Recognized: Nightwalker; B-one-zero." The door opened, as always, announcing exactly who had entered the mountain. No one was around to see it.

That was fine with Eve. She sent out a mental scan to try and find out who was in the mountain. Conner and M'gann were in the living room, doing…things…(Eve quickly shied away from that mental signature) and Zatanna was sparring with Black Canary, judging by the razor-sharp focus and irritation coming from that area. Eve took a deep breath.

Better now than never. Actually, better after the training session than never.

She stopped by her room to drop off her bag, viola, and coat, but not her hat. She'd need her hat. As a security blanket if nothing else.

After she had left her things in her room, which was surprisingly bare, Eve found herself standing in the training room, watching as Black Canary and Zatanna sparred.

The young magician was putting up an excellent fight, but she had no chance against one of the best martial artists on the planet. It wasn't long before she was flat on her back. Eve winced as the other girl went down with a thud. She'd had quite enough of being in that position, thank you.

"Eve." There was a note of pleasant surprise and welcome in Black Canary's voice. "You're back early."

Eve nodded. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Not at all. We were just finishing. Zatanna, I want you to practice that blocking maneuver at least twenty times before I see you again."

Zatanna pulled herself up from the floor and grinned at the older girl. "Hey, Eve. Have a good trip?"

"Yeah. Um, Dinah, can I talk to you?"

"Of course."

Zatanna stood there, looking between them, before she rolled her eyes. "And this is one of those highly confidential sessions. Of course. I'll go find something else to do, then. Bye!" With that, she headed out.

Eve twisted the felt of her fedora between her hands. "Can we go to the quiet room?"

Dinah raised an eyebrow. Before, their 'talks' had all been her explaining how to analyze people (something Eve already know how to do) and get them to work through their issues, all things that could be discussed outside the soundproof therapy room.

Was the girl finally opening up?

"Of course," she said, her voice smooth as cream. She fell into step beside Eve as they walked in that direction. There was a furrow between her brows and a dark, sad cast to her eyes.

When they reached the room, they both took their places; Dinah settled herself comfortably in one chair and Eve leaned against the back of the other, staring at her hat. Eventually, she spoke.

"I talked to a friend," she said finally. "And old and very good friend. He recommended that I talk to you."

"Recommended?" Dinah asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, begged sounds undignified on both sides." She sighed. "And…I have depression. Usually, I manage to stay ahead of it, but…I've been having breakdowns. Crying fits. There's too much pressure on my empathy, more than I can contain like I typically do. He told me I needed to talk to you. And threatened to tell my boss if I didn't."

"Your boss?" Dinah asked, with a hint of amusement.

"Hey, in some worlds, she's also your boss. And when she's mad, she's terrifying." Eve sighed. "I just…I need to talk to someone and vent some pressure before I go insane. Look, this is really hard for me to talk about, so…please don't interrupt, okay? No questions, no comments, just…let me talk."

Dinah, seeing that the girl expected some kind of response, merely nodded. Eve took a deep breath and began.

"My childhood…growing up…it was not a happy time for me. Before I can explain why, you need to understand what the world I was born in was like."

She paused for a moment, considering the best way to explain her next words. "You know that because I'm an empath, I'm what they call a 'metahuman' here. Well, back there, we didn't use anything so nice as that. You think that discrimination's bad here? Try a world where it's legal. Where the government, every government, endorses it. They didn't call us 'metahumans.' Didn't even bother including the word 'human'. No, we were mutants, plain and simple. I didn't qualify as human. Didn't even qualify as an animal, according to the law. There weren't any laws protecting us. According to the law—" at this, her lip twisted into a bitter grimace. "According to the law, we were government property. Barely even things. There was a law—an actual law—stating that if a civilian found a mutant, they were authorized to use any force they felt was necessary to keep them contained and subdued until the government got there. Essentially, it was an excuse for them to beat the shit out of any mutants they found. It was illegal for a mutant to be unregistered, but once they did register, they didn't even get to leave the building. They were taken away by the government. Nobody knew what happened to them, not officially, but it was pretty well recognized that the army took them away to experiment on. And if you were unregistered, then...well, then the MRD, the Mutant Response Division, came knocking on your door. They would drag you out of your home and beat you, as well as any family you may have, before dragging you away. Fight back, and you'd be shot on the spot. Usually, they made it public. Made an example of you. It wasn't something anybody questioned. People who asked questions, who started to suggest that things were unfair, had a nasty habit of disappearing." She swallowed hard. "I was a typical naïve kid. No idea of what was going on. Wasn't something people talked to toddlers about. Most gifts tended to manifest with puberty, so I had no idea there was anything wrong with me. Wasn't anyone looking too closely at me, either."

Eve took a couple of deep breaths as bad memories started coming back. "I had an older brother. Did I ever tell you that? His name was Cal. He…looked out for me." She gave a small smile and shook her head. "My life…it was normal. At least, that's what I thought. I had no idea how things really were. Until…"

She stopped for such a long moment that Dinah considered breaking the silence the other woman had asked for. Fortunately, Eve broke it first.

"I was six. It was the middle of summer, just an ordinary day by any standards. Cal and I were outside, just playing around. I was asking about the house next door, I remember that. I had never seen the man who lived there. Cal tried to sell me all these wild tales, but I wasn't having any of it." She smiled at the memory, a distant taste of childhood innocence lost. It quickly faded as what happened next came blaring into her mind. It wasn't hard to remember…not when it was a vivid nightmare she saw far too often.

"The MRD came along. I didn't even know what was going on. There was just this big, black van, and all these soldiers, and so much shouting…and all this pressure on my mind. A mob was forming. It was like…a million hands, all pressing at the inside of my head.

"They dragged the guy out of his house and ripped his shirt off. He had scales, running all down his back. Blue and green, like some kind of lizard. The men started beating him. All his pain, and all the hatred and anger coming from the crowd…" she swallowed hard. "It was so much pressure on my mind—hurting and squeezing. It was a flow of water battering against a dam, and it wasn't long before the dam broke. And when that happened—all those emotions, all those awful, sickening feelings, they just…crashed into my head. It blasted my psychic channels open. All I could feel was rage and hatred and pain…" her voice trailed off as her eyes squeezed shut and her hands clenched the hat ever more tightly. "Well, when you're six years old…and you've just realized that the entire world will hate you…and you have to feel that hate everywhere you go…" she let out a breath. "It's kind of hard to be well adjusted."

She took a deep breath and released it. "That pretty much set the tone for the next nine years. I think my empathy was supposed to develop slowly—just barely sensing things, then becoming more and more sensitive and strong over time until I reached the skill I have today. But because of that…incident…I was blasted open. I was sensing everything anyone was feeling within a twenty-foot radius. I had no idea how to block it out. Most people train for years to get their powers to work. I had to learn, in less than two months, how to get mine to turn off. I nearly went crazy with effort, and I still can only partially block my mind." She gritted her teeth. "Do you know what it's like to live in a world where every day of your life, you are bombarded by signs, posters, propaganda, that tell you you're an abomination? A freak? That you're supposed to be dead? Do you know what it's like when you can tell exactly how much danger you're in because of the very gift that puts you in danger? Let me tell you right now, it fucks with your psyche. Big time."

Her next statement was flat. "I might have killed myself before age ten if it hadn't been for my brother. He was probably the most supportive person in my whole life…and the only one who knew my secret. He was the one who helped me get a handle on my powers. My own parents didn't even know. They were wonderful people, and good parents, but…I couldn't tell them. I just couldn't." She shook her head. "I did die, though. And the sad thing is, I wasn't too upset about it. I didn't try to fight back. I was dying of cancer, and I didn't even care." She slammed her fist onto the arm of the chair and winced. "Ow. But the thing is…dying is probably one of the best things that ever happened to me. I got thrown into another world. That's where I met Robin. Another Robin. He was running away from his Batman, trying to make his own way in the world. I was running away from my past. We helped each other. Worked together. Formed a bond. He's like a brother to me. In time…I started to heal. I didn't have to be afraid anymore. I could use what I had…and actually make a difference. He didn't know who I was. I had no background, no identity. For the first time in my life, I tasted total freedom. And I loved it."

She smiled, but once again, it quickly turned sour. "Then, of course, I had to learn that the things worth living for are worth dying for as well. Ra's al Ghul kidnapped us both. He'd heard about us. He was looking for a new Shadow, and he wanted one of us. Not both; just one. So he locked us both inside a room designed to open when there was only one life sign inside. Either one of us would kill the other, or the weakest would die first from starvation and dehydration. The one who survived would be weakened enough for him to take and retrain. I thought. And thought. And thought. For eight hours or so. I made peace with my demons. Or so I thought. I accepted that I was not worthless, but I also accepted that I didn't belong there. And Robin did.

"When I…cheated death…I cut my spirit loose from my body, essentially. So I figured that I could release my spirit, and it would rejoin my body. Robin would still be strong enough to fight his way out. He'd survive. Hopefully prosper. I'd be free." She slowly removed her hands from where they were clenched around her hat and her expression turned deeply bitter. "That's what I thought. I was wrong." She swallowed again and closed her eyes. "I—"

she started and stopped, before starting again. "I—" another stop, another head-shake. "I'm sorry. The next part's too hard to talk about right now."

Dinah sat there, slightly stunned as she listened, but not letting any of it show on her face.

Six years old…six years old when your world fell apart. Six years old when you understood that you would never be safe again…Oh, honey.

"I understand," she said, keeping her voice even and calm. "You've thought about this a lot."

A hoarse laugh. "Yeah. First because I had nothing else to think about. Then a lot more analytically when I realized exactly how fucked up I was. Like I said, diagnosed myself with clinical depression about…a year and a half ago I'd say. I read a lot of psychology textbooks."

"Any way to specify your condition?" Dinah asked.

"If I had to, I'd say RBD. Closest match in symptoms. Mostly, I can handle it pretty well. Keep moving and traveling, doing stuff to convince myself that yes, I do matter. Talking to people about it helps, which is why..." she made a vague gesture, indicating the other woman. "It usually isn't too bad unless I'm in one place for a long time. I hate being stuck. It makes me just get slightly melancholy in general. My emotions start to build up, more than I can smooth over with meditation and mental blocks. I start having random breakdowns, crying and curling up as bad memories come back. Typically, they happen once every six months. That's if everything's fine, and only because sometimes I just need to release tension." Here she looked up from her hands and made eye contact with Canary. "I've had six this month alone. Not good."

"Do you know why?"

"Partly, it's being stuck here. No offense, but I hate staying in one place too long. I usually move around. A lot. So having to stay in one place for an extended period of time makes me a little twitchy. I can barely stand taking a month of leave. And even then, I go all over the world. Sometimes more than one." She gave a sad little smile. "Usually, I can use empathy on myself to keep it under control, but if I'm tired, using a lot of effort, or it's just really strong…" Eve shook her head. "It all adds up. Right now, it's too much. December's hard for me. Got even harder with the wisdom teeth thing. It's just…a lot of crap right now. And I needed to talk to someone besides my foster brother and best friends. So…yeah," she ends lamely.

Black Canary leaned forward, hands under her chin. "It seems to me that overall, you have a fairly good handle on the situation. You understand what you're going through. You know why and how you feel that way. But your usual method of fixing it isn't working, so you're looking for other ways."

"That pretty much sums it up."

"I realize that your system works, but running away from your problems can't be healthy, Eve. Have you considered—"

"I am not taking medication," she said, very firmly. "Aside from the fact that the idea makes me profoundly uncomfortable, it's also impractical and dangerous to depend on something I might not always be able to get to. I'm not full-on suicidal or intensely claustrophobic yet, so I'll take my chances."

"Claustrophobic?"

"It's happened before."

"Eve, would you really commit suicide?"

The girl let out a sigh and stared at the wall. "Not actively, no. As in I wouldn't go find a cliff and jump off. But if I did have to sacrifice myself so everyone else could live, I would do that." She looked Black Canary directly in the eye. "And so would you."

The woman didn't even try to deny that. "Do you really think you deserve to die?"

"Do I really deserve to live?" she asked, quietly. "I've killed people. I killed—" she snapped her mouth shut.

Black Canary stared at the girl. "We all make mistakes. We've all had accidents. It doesn't—"

"No," she snapped. "I—" She swallowed and tried again. "I—" she shook her head. "I'm sorry. I have to go." She got up and started to leave the room.

"Eve," Dinah called. The young woman turned around, fear and tears mingling in her eyes. Black Canary met them steadily.

"Thank you for coming to me with this. If you ever do become ready to talk about this, I'll still be here. Everything you say in this room is confidential."

Gratitude seemed to shine from her face. "Thank you," she said quietly, before vanishing out the door.

Uh…hi?

Late chapter is late. Sorry?

Got a lot of crap going on right now. Teachers seem to read 'end-of-year' and think "Oh, let's pile on more homework!" I should really be doing logarithms right now…I hate math. Gah!

But yeah, here's the chapter. I've been thinking about Eve's backstory so much in my head that it's hard for me to remember that I haven't actually explained well…any of it. I hope this helps. Any questions, just ask in a review.

And people looking for an update of ATDL...I'm so sorry! It should be up by Wednesday...ish. Suffering from writing constipation lately.

IMPORTANT QUESTION! PLEASE READ!

I don't know what to do with the next chapter. I feel like I've done too much angst here, and I should do something fun. Which is why the next chapter is either going to be set on the Watchtower, where there will be this big New year's party that the Team gets invited to, and it will be fun and fluffy and possibly involve Truth or Dare. So there's that. Or I do another chapter involving another therapy session that leads off of this one. People who have read my first story, you know what's going to happen. Either way, I haven't started writing it yet, so I NEED INPUT. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE?

Mailbox Time!

Xemidemon: Thanks! And yeah, it pretty much does.

Sass-mistress-lucifer: Thanks in general! But I will be rewriting it. Already working on it now…when I really should be doing math, English, and stories that I actually need to consistently update…

Piggythelaw: AP exams could and should be classified as inhumane torture. Thank you! She sees herself as the tough-older-sister, so she'd try to do that. And I prefer pizza, but if French Fries are part of the deal, I'd have to go with those…