Best of You
By Didi
Disclaimer: Same as before… The Young and the Restless is owned by CBS Broadcasting Inc., CBS Corporation and Bell Dramatic Serial Inc. and probably a host of other companies but definitely not by me. No malice or infringement of copyrights are intended by this writing and I will stop if someone just tells me to. There's no need for litigation to occur.
**Timeline: Skipping forward in time to include the Sabrina/David Chow crash. Both characters die and we move on with the story from where I left off. Read the last chapter.
Summary: Amber warns Adam, Billy decide to snoop around, Katherine works up a little courage for Cane, and Adam makes his intentions clear.
Author's Note: I'm horrible, I know. I'm trying to work an ending in there but it's just not working out like I want it to. Stories tends to write themselves around me.
Chapter 21
"This is a bad idea," Amber murmured to herself even as she looked at the two open suitcases on the bed. "This is such a bad idea."
"Don't lift anything," Adam called from the other room even as he hurried into the bedroom … with another suitcase. He set it down by Amber's bed and closed the two already filled to the brim with clothes. "Just let me do the lifting."
"This is a bad idea," she told him because she was tired of telling herself that. She was facing him with a face twisted in concern. She could literally feel her heart pounding in her chest. This was absurd!
"What?" looking at the oversize suitcases in his hands. "I just thought that you'd need more than two cases for your clothes. You're a designer, and a girl, and I assumed that you'd have lots and lots of stuff that you'd need to..."
"I meant moving onto your father's ranch," she gave him a look of annoyance for playing dumb with her. The one thing about Adam was that he didn't pretend to be a good guy and he was mostly upfront with her… mostly. "It's not a good idea. As for the suit cases, I'll need more than just these six."
"Of course it's a good idea," he assured her, opening up the empty cases on striped down bed. They were moving at a much more rapid pace than even he could have anticipated. His father was scarily efficient when he puts his mind to something. "An even better idea would be for you to come live with me but since you're being all stubborn about it…"
She kicked him… or at least she tried to kick him, missed him by a good two feet. All sudden movements have become a difficult task since her belly started its inevitable expansion. Twenty-eight weeks and she's already having difficulty not walking like a fat duck. The doctor has already warned her that she may not carry to term, even for the abbreviated pregnancy period that most twins carries have. She could only hope for the best and tried to keep her babies safe for as long as she still could.
And part of that meant she needed to make decisions for her babies, not for herself. The fall outs will have to be dealt with as they come. She just had to keep reminding herself of all the mistakes in the past and try to avoid the potholes she already sees coming. And even then…. She knew this was a terrible idea.
"I need to sit down," she said suddenly, grabbing the edge of the bed and lowering her self to it.
"Sit, sit, sit," Adam said quickly, dropping the pile of clothes he had meant to pack for her.
"Stop hovering," Amber said without any of her usual snap. She was so tired of defending herself against… whatever. "You're not going to be like this when I'm on the ranch right?"
"What are you talking about? I don't even live there, anymore, remember?"
She gave him a look and really kicked him this time, hard and in the ankle.
"Ow!"
"I'm not stupid, you know? I may be a blond and making a really stupid move right now but I'm not that dumb. You're really going to stand there and tell me that your father, the great Victor Newman, the great business strategist, didn't call you the minute I agreed to move onto the Ranch and ordered you to move home? You're seriously going to stand here and tell me that?"
Adam winced, pain and guilt warring for dominance on his face before a knowing appreciative grin bloomed. This was the Amber that he cared so much about; this straightforward girl with the guts of a street fighter. "Okay, okay, I'll admit to some… strategy." He smiled, enjoying this part of her again.
"You're an idiot," Amber tried to kick him again but he jumped out of the way in time. "And you're not allowed to hover or barge in and out of my place when I'm on the Ranch."
Hands in up in surrender, "I promise not to hover."
She glared at him. "And the other thing?"
He made a face. "At least let me check on you."
"No."
"Amber…"
"No," she repeated more firmly this time and stood. She sighed and looked around the chaotic room. "Your father probably has an entire army ready to come in here and sweep my apartment off, doesn't he?"
Guilty face aside, he wasn't unhappy with her assessment or her stance. Adam had been partly afraid that, like everyone else in town, Amber would be cower by his overwhelmingly dominate father. It was something he had no plans on allowing to happen, not when the Amber he knew has such remarkable strength. But apparently, she's going to be her usual tough nut with a wary side. "He doesn't want you straining yourself."
"Right," she muttered and decided to let Victor Newman baby her a little. But you can't con a con-woman; she knew what was what and was at least partially ready for it. "Fine, fine, whatever," and grabbed her purse off the self. If they were going to do all the hard work, who was she to deny them.
"Can I drive you over to the Ranch?" he asked, wondering how he could work it so he got to go to her doctor's appointment this afternoon with her. He knew she was due another sonogram and her regular blood works today and he desperately wanted to be there for the sonogram… and maybe to ask the doctor some general questions about her health.
"I have work," she reminded him as she grabbed her purse and jacket. "You know, that thing normal people do to make a living?"
"If you're feeling tired, you could just…"
"What?" she demanded, eyes narrowing dangerously. She was just waiting for him to make a wrong move. Her defenses were firmly in place and she's added barbwires on top since she realized she had been emotionally manipulated into moving onto the Newman Ranch.
Adam, no dummy, backed off with a smile. "Drink some nice soy milk while I drive you to the office. You'll be late if you take the bus."
She smiled despite herself; the boy certainly did not know to change course in mid stream. "Can you pour me some from the frig? There's a traveling container by the stove."
"Of course," he said eagerly, it was the first time she was letting him do anything for her without putting up a fight. "Would you like it warmed?"
She looked outside, it was beginning to snow. A ride would definitely make it easier for her. "Yeah, two minutes in the microwave."
"Got it," he smiled at her before going to the kitchen with a spring in his step.
Amber shook her head as she watched him putter around her tiny little kitchen, humming tunelessly to himself, looking unbelievably out of place with his three thousand dollar custom suit and six hundred dollar Italian leather shoes. He was dressed for work but didn't find anything wrong with catering to her whims and risking his father's wrath.
It was weird and absurd.
About as ridiculous and absurd as the idea of Amber moving onto the Newman Ranch. No one would believe her if she told them.
"Whatever it is you're up to," Jack warned, "Please let it not involve a woman."
Billy grinned and shook his head. "Sorry Jack…"
Jack Abbott groaned and shook his head – resigning himself to the fact that there was certainly no denying that they were brothers given their perchance for trouble with women. "At least tell me this isn't going to be one those runaway things. I don't think my heart that take that again."
Laughing, Billy shook his head again. "Relax, this isn't about a woman I want to involve myself in… at least not romantically." At least not that he could think of. "Know anything about Amber Moore?"
Okay, that needed to be stopped immediately. "Please don't tell me that you and Amber Moore are involved."
"Not in that sense," Billy assured him with a grin. "I know she's tangled up with Cane and Adam Newman and that last thing I want right now is to get involved in that melodrama."
"Good," Jack said with a knowing look, "Jill is difficult to deal with right now with all the fire she's been breathing in that direction, I don't need you adding more fuel to that fire."
"Agreed," Billy said, "But Amber and I are friends; strictly friends," he assured his brother, "And I want to make sure she's okay with all the buzzards hovering around her."
"Buzzards?"
"With Adam and Cane already circling and now Victor Newman getting in on the…"
"What?" Jack's eyes were saucer big in disbelief.
Billy shrugged, "Guess he's trying to keep Amber and her kids close; can't really blame him for that after what happened." And he really wish he could; didn't like to sympathize with the devil.
"Don't get involved," Jack warned him.
"Can't help myself," Bill said with a grin, "Damsels in distress; can't just abandon her; especially with the Newman sharks circling."
"Then let Cane handle it," Jack advised sagely. "It's his ex-wife and his kids."
"Possibly his kids," Billy corrected, "Amber hasn't said one way or the other."
Jack made a face and decided not to comment. It would be just like his brother to play the white knight… even if the bad boy in him wasn't feeling up to it. "Just… try not to make a mess? I don't need Jill riled up before the annual board meeting; I've got enough on my hands with Ashley and her proxies. I don't need anymore trouble from that front."
"No promises," Billy answered with a grin for his indulgent brother. "I'm just trying to keep the vultures from picking at her bones… or worse."
Sighing with resignation, Jack picked up the porfolio on his desk and got up for his meeting with the designs teams. "Just watch your p's and q's and don't let this interfere with your work. I don't need anymore issues cropping up."
Victor surveyed the cottage with a critical eye. "Are you certain?"
"Yes," Victoria rolled her eyes. "I'm positive."
"I rather like the overlook," Victor muttered as he made his way up the stairs.
"And how great is it going to be when you're wide as a train and can't see where your feet are at?" Victoria countered. "Heighten those rails and tighten up the spacing. I don't want there to be an accident if she loses her balance."
"Perhaps Mr. Moore will consider moving up to the house if she sees it as a hazard," he was positively cheered by the idea.
"Um… no," Victoria said as she walked around the freshly converted cottage, picking her way through the maze of workers trying come complete the rush job by afternoon. "You're pushing your luck if you move that fast. She'll be okay for a little while out here, so let her be. Push too hard and she's got Katherine Chancellor waiting in the wings to catch her if she feels threatened."
Grunting his displeasure, Victor nevertheless nodded in agreement and checked the sturdiness of the rail. "And how are you these days, sweetheart? You and JT alright?"
"We're great," Victoria said with a grin. She had gotten to spend a full day with her little family that weekend and was in a much better mood for it.
"I'm glad you're doing well, " Victor said as he climbed the stairs again. "We should consider moving Ms. Moore to the company. Do you think she'll be interested in that?"
Victoria frowned, and shook her head solemnly. "I definitely think you're pushing it now," she glanced away. "The reason she's even here is to escape. Now you're thinking about moving her into the company? How is that going to help the situation?"
Though Victor hated to agree, he nodded his head in concession. His daughter knew best the situation and has grown quite close to Adam; he would defer to her in this. "Then you suggest that I leave it be?"
"Of course that's what I'm suggesting, why else am I here?" She checked the stairs again. "Just move her in, leave her alone for a bit, help when she wants it, and don't make any sudden moves. Think of her like a frightened animal that'll bolt at any extra noise."
Agreeing with the analogy, Victor nodded his head and continued to inspect the cottage for anything else that may be needed. He wanted Amber to be comfortable here, be completely at home and feel safe enough to open up to him and Adam. And perhaps when she was comfortable enough she will allow them to help her with the babies.
"You've involved yourself in this pretty deeply. It's not like you," Victoria observed quietly as she watched her father. "Are you okay, dad?"
"Yes, of course my dear." Victor sighed and looked out the window at the vast lawn that he had the gardeners cultivate. He had built this house, this home he had intended for his family. To know that they're all gathered here safe in the haven of familiar things was a blessing.
"I know we haven't been talking much," Victoria replied softly as she followed her father to the window and looked out into the area that had once been a playground to her. "I just want you to know that I'm here. I know we have our differences and that..."
"I know my dear," Victor replied, "and know that I love you. That this family means everything to me. I will do everything and anything to protect this family."
Silent and thoughtful, Victoria accepted her father's words with comfort and leaned on his shoulder as they continued to stare out into the vast fields.
"Cane, please sit down," Katherine implored, watching her grandson pace the room like a caged animal. "You're working yourself into a nervous wreck."
Uncharacteristically ignoring his grandmother, Cane continued to pace the room in agitation. By now, Amber was probably packed and moved onto the Newman Ranch, well outside his reach. And the thought of Amber and the babies and Adam… the gnawing pain was almost too much for him to stomach. He couldn't believe it took him this long, and this much pain to realize what he should have known all along… you can't break the ties that bind. And his first ties to Amber, whether it was done in truth or falsehood, had bounded the two of them for life. Breaking the bond with her had been the biggest mistake of his life. And now…
"CANE!" Katherine threw her napkin at him, hitting the boy square in the face, "SIT DOWN NOW!"
Dropping his bum onto the dining room chair, Cane made a valiant attempt not whine like a child. But it was useless, "What am I going to do, Grandmother? Adam's holding all the cards now and Amber isn't even picking up the phone to…"
"Stop it!" she snapped sharply at him. "Adam's holding all the cards? Amber isn't picking up the phone? Everyone's against you now, are we? No one wants to play with poor little Cane, are they?" She glared at him with disapproval. "And you're just going to sit here and cry over a little spill milk, is that it?"
That shut him up nicely for a moment as he looked forlorn and helpless, unable to process anything but his own misfortunate. "I know I need to keep trying, to win back her trust but… all I ever seem to do is make her cry. And it hurts." Every time she flinched and drew away, "It just hurts like hell."
"You reap what you sow, my dearest," Katherine replied with a regretful sigh as she motioned to him again, quietly pushing the coffee cup Esther had kindly brought in for him across the table without sneaking a sip of it. "And unfortunately, your past actions aren't in your favor at the moment. And that mother of yours…" she shook her head. Jill's actions aren't helping her son's case at all, even after repeated warnings. If she could muzzle her daughter, she would. "We'll just have to find some other way."
"How, grandmother?" Cane asked, his eyes reflecting his desperation. "How do I do that and not risk pushing her further into another man's arms?"
Katherine frowned, concern etched across her brows. "Cane, be honest with me: are you looking to claim your children? Or are you looking to claim your relationship with Amber again? Have you finally moved pass your anger about what happened with Amber?"
He shook his head, confusion and pain reflect in his light eyes. "I… I don't even know anymore." He let out a sign that was bone deep and weary. "I don't know anything anymore. I just know that the thought of her with Adam and our kids… I can't live with that. I don't want to not be a part of her life… of their lives."
"So fight for it," Kay urged, knocking her fits against Cane's arm. "Fight for what you want. She may be living on the Newman Ranch but she's not a Newman yet. Be there for Amber, help her where you can. Just be there. Amber is no wilting flower but the girl will need help and her pride will not allow her to put her babies in danger – she will always put her children first. Be there when she needs that help; be the pillar she can lean on and hide behind. Be there. A presence means more than anything else."
Disheartened but thankful for his grandmother's support; Cane took a breath and tried to figure out what his next step should be. "Do you think…. I don't suppose she'd still need lunch at the office today."
"I think the girls should eat and she would be grateful for lunch provided for by someone other than a Newman since the poor thing will be up to her ears in Newmans from now on."
Cane nodded and got up. At least it was something to do rather than sit there in self pity. Wasn't much of a plan but he couldn't let that stop him..
"And Cane," Katherine added with a glint in her eyes. "Friend or not, if it came down to it; I will be on your side. And I will make sure you don't lose your children. It's as simple as that."
That was really all Cane needed to hear. Straightening himself up, he reached over and kissed his grandmother's perfumed cheeks before heading out. The battle may be lost but the war was far from over. And Cane means to win.
With the designs to Lauren submitted and the office humming along quietly with work, Amber hadn't realized the time until her tummy started to growl in protest and her butt was numb from sitting too long. Getting up with a groan and waving away a few concerned glances from her fellow peons, Amber made her way to the employee lounge and dug through her lunch bag. She hated chicken salad but needed the protein and it was a simple meal she could make quickly.
"Hey," Daniel Romanti hoped onto the dining table and peered into Amber's bag. "Please tell me you have something better than that for lunch."
"There's nothing wrong with my lunch," Amber replied with a smile as she opened the tupperware container.
"But you hate canned chicken," Daniel pointed out as she made herself eat the damn thing. "How about I get you something a little more to your…" he glanced up as the elevator dinged open and then made a face. "Or… I can take out the garage."
"Um?" Amber turned and wished she hadn't eaten yet. Cane was making his way to her with very determined steps. "Oh great…"
Daniel sighed and hoped off the table. "Ashby, why are you always…"
"Not now Romanti," Cane said as he brushed passed him and set the white paper bag on the table in front of Amber. He sat down without being asked and simply stared at her a moment, noting her pale features and wary eyes. "Hear me out please."
Shaking his head, Daniel grabbed Cane by the arm. "Nope. If it's not business, you've got no business being here. And…"
"Daniel," Amber said quietly, "It's okay. Let him stay; otherwise I'm just going to be looking out for more ambushes later always." She sighed and answered Daniel's silent 'are you sure?' look with a quick resigned nod and waved him off to whatever else he needs to do. She didn't need a witness to whatever it is Cane came to say.
Silent and uncertain for a moment, Can could only ask the more obvious, "Are you okay? Are you doing alright?"
Surprised and a little grateful, "I'm… I'm doing fine. Just… chugging along."
The awkward silence stretched between a moment as both weighed their words until it became unbearable. "Listen Amber, I just… I wanted to stop by and bring you some lunch," then glanced at the unappetizing chunks of chicken in her tupperware. "You hate canned chicken."
Annoyed, "Why does everyone know that?"
"You complained it about non-stop the one time I bought it," Cane chuckled and pulled out a hot sandwich and a paper cup of soup. "You said it tasted like tin."
"It does taste like tin; everything in a can usually does."
"You liked tuna in a can."
"That's because tuna is fish and fishy taste basically override everything else in a tin can."
Cane smiled, watched as she sniffed the tomato bisque he had brought for her. "You like Campbell's tomato soup. That's not fish."
"Acidity from the tomato basically kills everything. There's a finite number of things that survive the process of being canned and not taste like metal on your tongue." She gratefully spoon soup into her mouth. "This is delicious."
"It's from that new café off Broadway and 6th street. They make some good pizzas there too. Pretty certain the chef in the back is Italian."
"Oh god, pizza…" she whimpered softly. "I'd kill for a good slice of pizza."
"No need to go that far," Cane unwrapped the sandwich for her. "I'll bring you a few slices tomorrow."
The mention of more food, of more visits, put a kibosh on her appetite. "What do you want, Cane?"
There was a long pause as Cane considered his answer. "I know I haven't been the best person to be around and I know I've made plenty of mistakes around you…" he held up a hand when she made to interrupt, "Hear me out, please." She nodded. "I don't want you to think, even for a moment, that I'm a threat to you or these babies you're carrying. I don't want you to think that I will ever, ever, attempt to separate you from them because I know what it's like to grow up without family and I would NEVER, in a million years, do that to a child… any child."
"But Jill…"
"My mother is not involved in this," he assured her firmly. "No matter what she says, no matter what she wants to do, she is not involved in this. This is between you and me. And I am telling you that you have nothing, absolutely nothing, to fear from me. I would never think to keep a child from their mother."
His conviction went a long way to assuring her. "Cane, I know that you want these kids to be yours but I…" she stopped herself. She didn't want to lie, didn't want to tempt fate. "You have a life that doesn't include me and my babies. And I want you to know that I'm grateful to you and that I'm glad you don't hate me anymore. But these are my babies."
Cane watched her face for a moment. "You didn't say it."
Confused. "Say what?"
"That the twins aren't mine."
She hesitated. "These are my babies."
He watched her eyes. "Are they Adam's?"
"They're mine."
"It takes two to tango, Amber. Basic science."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I want you to tell me the name of the father of your twins."
Amber took a breath, time to pay the piper. "I don't know." There was an odd sense of giddy relief at having said it. "There. Is that what you wanted to know? Is that what you wanted to hear? That I'm such a slut that I'm not sure who the father of my babies are."
Cane paused. That was and wasn't what he wanted to hear. And he devastated him that she would think that was what he thought of her. "That means these twins might still be mine."
"They are mine," she pleaded with him. "They are my babies."
"And no one is saying otherwise," Cane replied calmly. "And I don't want you to be afraid of me. I'm not a threat to you."
"Of course you are," Amber said tiredly. "You and Adam, you both are." And sooner or later, they'll both walk away…. They always walk away. "You both think this is some kind of novel game to you. Let's play daddy to Amber's babies. But the minute you find that you don't share DNA, you'll leave. Or you get bored and you'll have other lives and you'll leave. And then these kids will have no daddy there for them. That's why you guys can't be near my kids. I won't do that to them." She knew the game, she wasn't blind to what happens.
"I'm not going walking away," Cane replied.
"But you will," Amber replied resignedly, calmly, with a finality that was hard to watch. "You will." She's seen it enough to last her a lifetime.
"Amber…"
"That's why these are my kids. Not yours. Not Adam's. Mine." Pushing the food away, she got up. "Thanks for lunch but I've lost my appetite. Thank you for wanting to give me some kind of reassurance; I do appreciate that. And thank you for reminding me why I have to do this alone."
Adam paced the living room floor impatiently. It was half pass six now and Amber should have arrived an hour ago. Victor had arranged to have the entire content of Amber's apartment moved to the cottage and an army of housekeeping team had very quickly and methodically setup the cottage to how they had seen Amber's apartment and to what they deemed would be most comfortable for her.
Now all the cottage lacked was its new master.
"Can you please sit down and stop acting like an idiot?" Victoria admonished annoyed that she'd allowed herself to watch him pace for 5 minutes and was now dizzy for the effort. "She'll get here when she gets here."
"I should have gone to pick her up," Adam muttered and bit his nails, a habit his mother had broken him of when he was eight. "I'm leaving way too much to chance."
"You're being a controlling idiot is what you are," Victoria rolled her eyes and picked at the fruit bowl Estella had put out to liven the tiny living room. "And you need to stop being so pushy. It's seriously not helping your cause."
Adam wasn't listening to her. He was thinking of all the way he hadn't done right to make this all happen exactly as he…
The front door slammed shut.
Amber looked around the cottage with a frown. "Did they seriously unpacked my stuff as well?"
"Efficiency," Victoria answered when Adam just stood there looking like he got hit in the head with a frying pan. The idiot really is stupid. "Dad figured it'd just be wiser to make sure you don't need to work too hard to make yourself comfortable here."
She shrugged off her coat and stomped the snow from her shoes. "He wanted to make it hard for me to leave if I change my mind," she concluded with an indelicate snort of laughter. "I get it."
Victoria smiled and nodded in concession. "Yeah… that too."
Amber sat down on her second hand couch with the patch on the arm that she had carefully knitted back together then threw a piece of fabric over it; she had spent a whole Sunday on the project and had been quite proud of the accomplishment. But now, with Victoria Newman leaning against it without her thousand dollar suit and sparkling jewels, it looked plain shabby. But the couch was hers and she refused to let anyone shame her for her survival skills – even herself.
"I came with a welcome basket," Victoria said with a nod toward the dining room table, "It's got a few essential to get you started; stuff people usually forget when they move into a new place."
"You mean stuff you forgot when you and JT moved in," Adam commented lightheartedly.
Shrugging her shoulder, "Something like that." She picked up her coat and purse, "I'll et you settle in. Estella put all the main numbers by the phone so feel free to call if you need anything. The main house if fully staffed and Nick and I are literally within running distance from here," then paused as she looked at Amber's swollen belly. "Not that you'll be doing any running for awhile."
Amber offered a half smile and nodded her head.
Victoria frowned, noting the melancholy note in Amber's eyes. "Adam, walk me outside for a moment. I need to talk to you about the acquisition on Monday and we don't need to bore Amber with it."
Adam frowned since he was well aware there was no transitions being set up next week as Victor was still considered in mourning and basically put a halt to all business acquisition portfolios. But he dutifully walked his sister outside without question.
"Something must have happened today," Victoria warned softly as the door closed behind Adam. "She's not up to a fight and it looks like someone took the steam out of her. Tread lightly." She looked at Adam's confused face, "No ideas?"
"None," he admitted with a frustrated sigh. "She was fine when I dropped her off at work in the morning, to the point where she was going to let the movers do all the work so I thought… Something must have happened afterwards."
"I'll give Nick a call," Vicki offered with a shake of her head, "See if he noticed anything happening while she was there. I'll text you if I find out anything."
"Thanks, I'd appreciate it."
She nodded and patted him gently on the shoulder, wishing him luck.
Adam gave himself another moment and a few deep breaths before he went back in. Amber was still sitting on the ugly couch from her apartment. He hated that thing, it smelled like old laundry and cat, but Victoria had yelled at him about toss it without Amber's okay. "Don't over step your bounds!"
"Have you had dinner yet? Want me to make you something?"
Amber was pensive as she shook her head – trying to ease the tension behind her eyes that had been building all afternoon. "Sit down a moment, Adam. I think you and I need to talk."
"I don't think I like the sound of this," Adam replied as he took a seat in front of her on the coffee table. "It never ends well when a woman says that."
"Don't be so paranoid," Amber scolded with a frown.
"How about you let me the judge of that after you well me what you want to say," he countered with a pointed look.
Amber rolled her eyes tiredly. "Fine."
"Okay then… shoot."
Taking a breath, Amber confronted him with a determined look. "I'm really grateful for everything you've done for me. And I'm…"
"Stop," Adam held up a hand and closed his eyes for a moment. "This sounds like a really bad beginning to a break up speech."
She rolled her eyes again indelicately and wished she could have an aspirin – the pressure behind her eye socket was beginning to form into a headache. "How can it be a break up speech if we're not even together?"
He grinned lasciviously at her suddenly. "We can change that, you know."
One of Amber's socked feet shot out suddenly and kicked him. "Will you be serious here?"
"I am," he continued to grinned and grabbed her toes when she tried to kick him again. Her feet felt like icicles. "Girl, you have got to get warmer footwear," then rubbed her feet to get some circulation there.
"Adam," she pulled her foot away and grabbed his hand, making him look at her. "I need to you listen to me." She waited until she had his full attention. "I… I told your father that the twins aren't yours and that they're aren't Newmans."
For a moment, Adam forgot to breathe. "What did Victor say?"
She took a breath, holding in her emotions. "He said…" she took another breath. "He said that you didn't need to share blood to love a child."
For a long moment, Adam was rendered speechless.
"Then he offered the cottage."
"You told him the twins weren't mine and he offered you the cottage?"
She nodded slowly and watched his stunned face. "I need you to make your father understand."
Adam shook his head trying to clear the clouds away. He needed to think clearly and deal with the here and now. Anything involving Victor will have to wait. "Understand what? I think my father had a perfect understanding to our… relationship."
"Adam, be real here," Amber said with a sigh. She had given herself all afternoon to think things through. "Victor thinks you want to be Dad to my kids; that's the only reason he's letting me stay here. He thinks he's going to get a pair of grandkids out of this deal."
"I'm still failing to see where the problem is here."
She stared at him, wondering at how long he was going to play this game. "Adam… I know you think that this is a… what's that word Mrs. C. uses sometimes… that this is a great lark," suddenly proud of herself for remembering, "but this is my life and my children's lives we're talking about here. I'm not going to jerk them around. I'm not going to screw around with their lives just because I messed up my own."
Something finally clicked in Adam's head. "Amber," he turned his hand to hold onto hers this time, making sure she was listening to him. "I keep telling you that I want to be here for you. And I keep telling you that I want to take care of you and the kids. But I don't think you understand what I'm saying."
"I think I do."
"I disagree," he replied and stopped her when she opened her mouth to argue the point. "I'm not saying that I'm giving you a shelter to hide from the Chancellors or Ashby or whatever else comes along the way. I'm saying that I want to be your husband. I want to be your rock. I want to be a father to your children; be they mine by blood or by marriage. I am saying that I am going to be here 100% of the time in 100% of the capacity as your spouse. I am saying that I want you. And that I want to be with you. And that I am committed to this with or without the kids."
Amber stared at him as if trying to see him.
"Do you understand me now?" Adam asked, his face reflecting his doubt of her current state of intelligence.
"Adam?" Amber's brain was having a little difficulty now. "Are you… are you tell me… wait, wait wait…." It felt like her brain was actually shutting down. Everything was beginning to get a little fuzzy and gray. "Are you saying that you…. That you…"
"Keep going, you almost have a full thought there."
She glared at him but there was no heat behind it since she was still having trouble processing her mind. "Adam!"
He grinned at her. "I love you." There, he said it.
Amber's brain chose that moment to actually shut down. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she tipped over like a down elephant and blacked out. The last thing she remembered was a blurred frantic movement and Adam calling her name.