Ten Random Characters

Chapter 21

Peach smiled as the LoCwSNaaS reentered the room. "Lovely, nice to see you making more dramatic exits, Lucina," seethed the princess with an eerily fake smile. "Now, next question."

Robin giggled as she looked over Peach's shoulder and read it in her place, meriting a glare from the Toadstool Princess. "Robin is about to marry Peach," snickered the female tactician. "What is Palutena's reaction?"

The goddess in question began to slow-clap. "Congratulations," she stated with a smirk. "At long last, we have Yuri."

"Don't be silly!" Peach exclaimed with a blush and a quick glance around the room, presumably to assure Mario wasn't in the room. "This is just a silly little game, no need to take it seriously!"

"That wasn't what you lot said when that thing about me and Pit came up," Red deadpanned.

"Or the part about me and Ike," Roy huffed.

With a gulp, Peach quickly moved onto the next question. "So, Lucas hates Roy. Why?"

The PK-user cast a dark glare towards Roy. "Because now that we're both out of matches, he won't leave me alone."

"Hey, it's not my fault all of my other friends get called to matches every five minutes!" protested the Manakete. "Without Marth or Doctor Mario to talk to, it's either you or the Ice Climbers!"

Roy was promptly whacked on the head with two wooden mallets. "Look, kid," snarled Nana. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to us over the Tsundere!"

"Nana's right!" Popo declared. "We're ten times cooler, no pun intended, than some loser from a game that never got localized!"

Everyone in the room froze as waves of burning rage emanated from Roy and Lucas. The Ice Climbers froze, no pun intended, and Popo wondered "What? What did we do?" aloud. Roy promptly took a blue stone in hand, which glowed with energy. Holding it skywards, bright flowers of light formed around the Lord and faded to reveal a blue dragon, which was massive enough to make Ness's rather large room feel a bit cramped.

The Ice Climbers were met with the blunt force of Roy's Dragon Frost Roar, and an echoed cry of "Binding Blade was a great game and so was Mother 3!"

As Roy reassumed his human form, Lucas sent a PK Love Ω towards the frozen climbers, crying "I am not a Tsundere! The author just really sucks at writing for me!"

"Whoa, Lucas," Red warned. "Be careful around the 'Ourth-fay All-way'."

"The 'Horcey Hallway'?" Marth repeated, trying to make sense of the Pig Latin.

"I think he said 'Norfair Alley'," corrected Shulk, who was pretty clearly biting his lip to prevent himself from reacting to Reflet's arm around being around his shoulder, but was still blushing all the same.

Red facepalmed. "You two seriously don't know Swinub Latin?" he flatly stated in disbelief. "Did you even have a childhood?"

"No, not really," Marth replied. "Well, unless you count swordplay lessons and fleeing the country and being forced to become best friends with an annoying girl who has a crush on you and you pretend to like back because if you don't you'll probably end up being forced to marry someone even worse and then before you get married you get teleported to a mansion and are forced to fight other people for the entertainment of two giant hands and spend the next thirteen years not aging for some reason and being the best friend of a dragon and an elfman before being thrust into some crazy battle against a butterfly man who is defeated by a hedgehog who has had exactly two good games in the last ten years, according to the internet, and falling in love with a guy with a cooler sword than you."

"What's with the run-on sentence?" snickered Robin. "Really, I'd expect better grammar from a prince."

"Also, I was fairly sure you liked Cadea," Zelda countered. "In Shadow Dragon and New Mystery of the Emblem, you seemed to genuinely love her."

"Yeah, and Shulk's in love with Reflet, Robin writes Yaoi, Soren's a Yandere, Lucas is a Tsundere, Mewtwo is incompetent, Toon Link either has multiple personality disorder or several clones, etcetera, and that's just in the last few days," Red countered, ignoring Lucas's protests. "Seriously, has anything here ever been like it is in the games?"

As Marth's cheeks turned a bright ruby color, Palutena's phone chimed. "Hey look, Lucas's 'Norfair Alley' break got some requests from our fans through!" she exclaimed before beginning to read them off. "Palutena and Chr- wait, where's Chrom?"

"He left," Ike explained. "Said he was too 'mentally scarred by his ancestor's paradox-making skills to return'." He put air quotes up as he said this.

"Pit!" the goddess exclaimed.

The angel stood up and saluted. "Yes, ma'am!"

"Go fetch Chrom," Palutena ordered. "And maybe some macarons while you're at it. Those things are really good."

Pit ran out of the room and returned far too quickly with a box of macarons and the protagonist of Fire Emblem Awakening, who was struggling. "Please let me out of here," Chrom begged. "Really, I'll do anything, just don't make me play this game!"

No one quite noticed the peculiar shade of crimson Reflet turned when laying his eyes on the Lord, or the victorious cried of the author, who had found yet another unique way to refer to blushing. However, Marth pointedly edged closer to Ike, Lucina groaned, and Robin cackled. "Sorry, no cigar Mr. Needs a Tactician to Win the Game for Him."

"Hey," Chrom protested. "Ike, Marth, and Lyn all had tacticians too!"

"Not ones that could marry them," countered Robin with a sneer.

"You're telling me IkexSoren and LynxMark weren't possible?" Chrom reputed. "Because there's a reason people ship those."

Lucina let out a horrified squeak of terror. "F-father, did you look at the internet?" she asked desperately. "Don't worry, Doctor Mario has a memory-removing potion. If we use it now, it's not too late to prevent scarring!"

"Relax, Lucina, I was just trying to find a way to get those two broken up," he pointed at the rather horrified Marth and Ike. "So I was trying to find other people to push them towards," Chrom explained.

Robin punched the air. "Ha! Chrom, I'll make a shipper of you yet! Never thought I'd see the day. So, MarthxRoy and IkexSoren? Or MarthxKris and IkexElicina?"

"Well, drastic times call for drastic measures," Chrom remarked with a glare at his supposed ancestor and his boyfriend. "Preferably MarthxCadea and IkexSoren, to keep things as they were."

Marth held his Falchion out towards his descendant. "Absolutely not!" he cried. "I am perfectly happy as is, and you won't change that!"

"Besides," Ike added. "Soren's nice and all, but romance-wise, he kind of creeps me out."

"Yandere," Peach muttered under her breath.

"What do you have against them being together anyways?" Roy questioned. "I mean, it can't be because of paradoxes, considering your daughter is a walking paradox herself."

Chrom shrugged. "Different kind of paradox. Lucina is just creating two different versions of herself, those two are preventing my entire lineage from ever existing."

Reflet groaned. "It's not any different, Chrom. You're being hypocritical."

Turning towards the male tactician, Chrom's eye twitched. "T-there are two of you?" he exclaimed, eyes darting between the female Robin and her "brother". The Lord fainted.

"Someone get Jigglypuff to use Wake-Up Slap," Peach ordered. "We'll get back to Palutena's question in a minute."

AN- I have no idea where Shipper!Chrom came from, but I suppose having Robin as your tactician means that shipping becomes an important war art. Also, I am tempted to just call the Fourth Wall the Norfair Alley from now on. And PikaLoverNYA, I'm getting to your suggestions, finally. So, thanks for reading! –Twilight Joltik