Yay, another later chapter. I have no life in this program. I've started teaching my first unit all by myself, and while that has nothing to do with the story, it does help to explain why I've been too busy to write all that much lately -- besides lesson plans and homework assignments. That and my car was stuck in a snow bank north of Cantwell overnight while I was trying to drive home to Anchorage for Christmas, but then, I was south of the avalanche, so that wasn't so bad... I didn't even slip on the ice, the wind was blowing hard enough that it shoved my little car sideways off the road, then the truck that picked me up went off the road, the van that picked me up after that got me to Cantwell, but it took about an hour to drive the last couple miles there, since we couldn't see the road or anything... This has nothing to do with the story either, but I like complaining.

On a more related to the story note, I have this neurotic habit where I hate doing things out of sequence, and I had one story idea left from the last batch, but I can't think of a good way to do Twelfth Night! Grrrr…

Oh, and from now on, If I can't do a new chapter, I'll at least try to revise one of the earlier chapters to remove all the obvious typos and stuff.

Ummm anyway, some of you may have thought this fic was dead, the rest of you only wished, but here's the next chapter.


Alice in Wonderland

Nash stared irritably into the refrigerator in the Budehuc castle kitchen.
"Just what are you looking for?" Mamie asked, looking at him quizzically.
"The cheese I put in here last night."

"I think it's behind the milk."

Nash glared defiantly, "I can't look behind the milk."
"Why?" Mamie looked thoroughly confused.
Nash sighed in exasperation, "Because, if I look behind the milk and the cheese isn't there, the milk wins."
Mamie looked even more confused.

Yuber walked by and stabbed the milk randomly, stalking off to torture the poor defenseless invalids in the hospital wing.
Nash poked aside the remains of the decapitated milk jug to look behind it. "Lousy smug milk." He muttered, before turning to leave, completely cheeseless.

Meanwhile, with the helpless invalids.....

To avoid a repeat of the last time the two Silverberg brothers had been in the same hospital at the same time, Dr. Tuta had decided that they needed a little more medicine than usual -- a fact that was infuriating a certain sadistic homicidal maniac to no end.

"Does it hurt when I do this?" Yuber asked, punching the bandages over Caeser's right arm.

"No, not really." Caeser giggled.

Yuber was incensed, NO ONE giggled in his presence.

"Nothing like a horrible stabbing pain?"

"Like the multiple stab wounds you're inflicting? Nope, sorry." At which point he promptly fell asleep and began snoring loudly.

Yuber glared angrily, ready to give him a severe stabbing, but.... his snoring could still be used in creating suffering in the world. Yuber grinned and turned to Albert, who lay in his bed staring at the ceiling.

"Do you think that's annoying?"

"Hmmmm?" Replied the tactician, lacking his usual dignity.

"See listen, your brother is snoring right next to you! Don't you hate noises like that?"

"Ummmm normally, but Dr.Tuta gave me this little needle thingy and now eeeevvveeerything is cool." and then he had the audacity to giggle!

Yuber materialized his blades, SOMEONE was going to die horribly... At which point Tuta walked into the clinic.

"Ummmmm Hi...."

It was opening night for the newest play, the lights shone brightly on the stage which revealed a grassy meadow in bloom, or more precisely, a painted backdrop designed to look like a grassy meadow, and a very poorly designed one at that. In fact, to be brutally honest, the backdrop looked like it had been attacked by a madman with a green paintbrush. Someone had helpfully scribbled "grass" and "flowers" and drawn little arrows pointing to the chaotic jumble of green.

Tuta sat among his group of friends in the audience, "So, I won't bore you with the exact details of my miraculous escape, but did you know what Landis has down in the secret tunnels under the castle?" He was saying as the play began.

Sarah sat at the base of a brown stripe on the background, that if one squinted and made a huge leap of faith, could look like a tree. Luc sat opposite her, reading a book. Nash sat next to Sarah on the stage, looking very much put out and drumming his fingers angrily against the floor.

"…….." Persmerga said from the narrator's box. "…………"

A hush fell over the audience at the masterful delivery

"Are you paying attention to your lesson, Alice?" Luc asked blandly, resting the book on his lap.

"Hmm, oh yes, I was." Sarah sighed, and then grinned evilly, patting Nash on the head, "Right, Dinah?"

Nash glowered, continuing to drum his nails, "Meow."

"So, can you recite your lesson?" Luc yawned.

"How doth the little busy bee…. You really don't care if I really know it or not, do you?"

"Meh."

"…………………………." Persmerga recited and Luc got up to leave the stage.

He began reciting for a very long time, so long in fact that some in the audience were beginning to tire of even Persmerga's eloquent narration. In fact, once questions were raised, it became clear that his narration had ended several minutes ago and what followed had been silence. A few more moments followed, someone coughed uncomfortably, a tumbleweed appeared from nowhere and blew across the stage.

"Cue the rabbit!" Hissed Nadir.

"No." Someone very irritable growled from off stage, someone old enough to look like a strip of beef jerky with an eye-patch.

"Look, I played the cat." Nash sighed in response.

"You wear the ears then." Growled the off-stage voice.

"Call in the stage technician ninjas!" Nadir growled in response.

Almost immediately, a horde of Karayan stage technicians swarmed past to the edge of the stage, trying to pull Geddoe, bunny ears and all, onto the stage to suddenly run past Alice. The bunny however, was not co-operating and certainly did not look to be in a hurry to rush across the stage trailed by an over-inquisitive girl.

A little known fact about Alice in Wonderland, or perhaps one not actually in the story but improvised by an actor, is that the rabbit in from the story was related to the killer, vorpal bunny from Monty Python…. Or at least that was how it appeared a few seconds later as the steadfast and even-tempered captain got very well and truly into character. The scene that followed was enough to remind the quickly fleeing audience or the last time Wan Fu had called Yuber a sissy – incidentally, it was also the first time that had happened because those very same effects had discouraged any repetitions.

Hours later, the remaining stage hands had finished mopping up the blood and had begun work repairing the damage to the stage and curtains with the help of several volunteers from the among the castle residents. They were used to this considering most of Nadir's plays ended in bloodshed. What they weren't used to was Yuber banging his head against one of the bar tables and crying.

"Why is he doing that?" Bart whispered to Percival, eying the distraught psycho-killer distrustfully.

"Well, there was massive bloodshed and he missed it."