Hello again, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reviewed, they're such wonderful reviews and I love you all. I posted a new picture on my tumblr that goes with this chapter so if you want to see it, it's on Damn Fic-art and I'm secretlynuttytyrant. If you do want to see the image, read the chapter first. Please tell me what you think about this chapter! Love you all

Sincerely,

Shado on'nanoko.

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Levi

The weeks had passed slowly, like a cautious child would peel off a band-aid. Pinpricks of pain sprouting up every once in a while. They would return to the pond every now and then to refill their canteens and extra jugs but continued to move around so titans were less likely to find them. Levi had managed to keep what was left of the group alive, aided by the lack of titans on their travels.

The number of titans seemed to be dropping, though it would usually be something to celebrate, Levi wasn't so sure. If the reason for the decrease in titans was that fighting titan, who said it would stop at just titans? With the amount of gas he had left, Levi didn't believe he would be able to take the insane titan on without being severely injured or killed. He just hoped that they wouldn't run into the berserker anytime soon.

The five months had run out and the squad started the trek back to the Rose gate, hurrying for the fear that it would close with them on the wrong side. At the mention of the possibility Levi felt rage boil in the pit of his stomach. If the shits on the wall thought it was a good idea to lock their strongest soldier and his squad out, they had another thing coming. Levi would scale the wall and punch the lights out of anyone who got in his way of opening the gate for his squad.

Red flitted from the front of the group to the back, offering water and food to the older soldiers, taking any burden they were carrying from them so they could rest a bit. Levi could hear her telling one of her fantastical stories, entertaining the young and the old and distracting everyone from their worries. They'd just reached the chapel they'd stayed in, the well loved walls now caved in, when one of the younger ones spoke up.

"Mrs Ral?"

Red turned to face him, smiling sweetly and setting her pace to match his.

"I...well, I've thought for a while. Wasn't it only those who came from Maria and Shiganshina that were told to go on this expedition? Why are you and Captain Levi here?"

Patricia threw a glance to the front of the group where Levi hadn't reacted. She figured he hadn't heard.

"Well, when the announcement went out, I was volunteering with the food stands and, when the MP came to take away this sweet old grandma that'd visit me everyday, I told them that I'd go in her place"

Grumbled protests and yelps of why she would do that, she could have been free, she had a choice unlike them. Patricia just waved their comments away, looking up at the greying sky, eyes hazing.

"I don't know why I did it, it just felt like the right thing to do. I didn't even have time to tell my family." No one spoke, only the shuffling of their boots against the worn stone of the road was heard. She seemed to realize that she'd brought everybody down and set about fixing it. Not even one word left her mouth when Levi's voice drifted back to them.

"I joined to make sure those fucking idiots at the top don't get their way. They wanted most, if not everyone to die on this mission, so I'm gonna make sure that doesn't happen"

The reason was blunt and cruel and it made Patricia scowl. Those who were the victims of the higher ups plan frowned, their hope sinking. If Levi, humanities strongest only wanted to save them because of his hatred towards the government and the king, then it was more likely that they'd die. It's hard to do anything fully with a weak resolve.

Levi heard the discord in his ranks, cursing the civilians turned instant soldiers and their delicate sensibilities.

"I..." He waited for everyone to quiet down before continuing. "I volunteered because...it wasn't right...so many..." The truth grated against his throat, digging in its heels and resisted being told. The group mumbled their agreements and thanks then quieted down, focusing on their destination.

Levi didn't mention how he hadn't had anything left, no reason.

He didn't tell them how it's what someone he used to know would do.

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The soft thump thump and the slight shake of the ground brought everyone to a stop. Nervous glances were thrown around, silently asking what it was and pleading that it wasn't what they thought. Levi knew, only one thing made a noise like that.

As the thumping grew louder and his soldiers began to shake, Levi gave out his order. Break into groups but continue towards the gate. Everyone nodded and then jumped in separate directions, groups splitting off then heading to the gate. Levi hung back, covering everyone and watching their progress. He kept an eye trained behind them for the titan but couldn't see anything, it unsettled him. They should be able to see the titan already unless...

Sometimes Levi hated being right.

To the left of them, through the skeletons of houses, Levi saw a flash of movement.

"FROM THE LEFT!"

The minute he'd said it the aberrant crawling on all fours broke through crumbling structures and lept into their path. A few soldiers shrieked and tried to go around, some getting away but a few were plucked from the air and crushed, gobbled up greedily by the smiling maw of the titan. Levi raced forwards, saving as many as he could without using up the rest of his gas and shouting at the rest to keep going, "don't stop!"

Levi's stomach dropped when, underneath the screams and roars of the titan, soft thump thumps could be heard.

Levi didn't turn to look, choosing to focus on his fleeing squad and the gate ahead. Progress was slow, the need to conserve gas overpowering every other need. If you ran out of gas, you died. From behind, a piercing roar that shook bone sounded and ended abruptly, then loud stomps of giant feet bounded closer. Risking a glance back Levi saw rising steam from the crawling aberrant and the fighting titan right on their heels.

Levi swore.

"Group 3, veer to the right! Group 1, go left! Do not engage! Group 2, you're with me!"

The groups split off, Levi and his group staying in front of the titan while the rest shot off to the sides. Levi conjured up a plan, spreading it to the members of group 2 and then waited for the perfect moment to strike.

Houses blew past and the titan got closer, it reached out then waved to the back of its neck, its nape.

It knew where its weak spot was.

The thing was intelligent.

...was it taunting them?

Levi didn't care either way, the thing was too dangerous. Either he somehow managed to kill it then or he and his team somehow outruns it. Neither scenario seemed very plausible but he knew that to do either, he needed to slow the thing down. His group flew to their positions and Levi quickly turned, grabbing the Titan's attention.

The moment he stopped, the Titan stopped too, standing still as a statue except the occasional puff of steam that rose from its teeth. Levi saw the titan wince and the next second, steam rose from its body, collecting above them and set a thin shadow over the scene. Levi watched curiously, forgetting why he'd wanted to distract the Titan and instead stood on a roof unmoving. The titan bowed its head, its shaggy brown hair drifted in front of its face and covered it like a mask. It breathed in...

And fell, Achilles tendons sliced by his soldiers that were busy getting out of the way. The Titan, no longer steaming, immediately covered its nape and growled. Levi stared at the downed Titan, deciding after a moment that it'd take too much gas to wear it down enough that it'd uncover its weakness. He signaled to the others and they all jumped into the air. The Titan mewled behind them and when Levi looked back it had its arm outstretched, reaching for them like all Titans did but without the bloodlust, without the hunger.

Levi shook his head.

He was just imagining things, he was sure.

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They caught up with the other groups close enough to the wall that more and more Titans were making themselves known. Levi ordered everyone to dodge, not engage, but with the number of Titans rising it was getting difficult. He was forced to take some down, saving a few of the elders who were still too slow in their gear.

Levi grimaced.

It didn't look good for them. Gas was running low, people were getting tired, the gate had yet to open and the hoard just kept getting bigger. He'd just resigned himself to the fate of sacrificing himself like a stereotypical hero when commotion erupted behind him. He didn't even have to look to know what it was. A member of his squad turned and yelped.

"I-It's fighting its own!"

Levi sighed. He'd known it would catch up to them at some point but he hadn't thought it would be so soon. He put it aside, the abnormal wasn't endangering his crew yet, it was fighting other Titans which ended up helping them more than hurting them, so Levi pushed on.

A few feet ahead a Titan had stumbled, crushing a house in its fall and causing giant clouds of dust and debris to shoot into the sky. The cloud blanketed them, lowering visibility and elevating chances of getting caught by sticky hands and stupid mistakes. Levi picked his way through carefully, showing some who'd fallen behind him the safe way through.

Levi almost smiled when he broke through the haze, his squad following him out. The gate stood before them, still closed but there nonetheless.

They'd made it.

"Where's Sarah?"

Levi took a moment to squeeze his eyes closed in frustration. Could nothing go right?

"John's not here either!"

Levi turned around, they'd settled on a low roof that was squished between larger houses. A few members of his squad whipped round and round, desperately trying to find their lost comrades. Levi glanced around, noticing the smaller number of people than before.

Where was Red?

"HELP! T-THE ROOF IT—"

The shout came from the remnants of the dust cloud. His squad shrieked and lurched forward, no one wanting to lose another teammate but was stopped by Levi's commanding voice.

"No, everyone stay here and out of sight. Wait for the gate to open and when it does don't wait, go even if I'm not there."

Everyone looked at him confusedly but the looks turned to ones of terror when he shot his cables out and flew into the air. He heard them cry out as he swung away and only hoped that they'd have the intelligence to keep quiet and do what he'd said.

The shouts continued, leading him to the top of a large house where two of his soldiers stood, staring down a large hole. The moment he landed he was accosted by the two soldiers, their voices overlapping the others, making it very hard for Levi to understand anything. He growled at them to shut up because he didn't really need them to tell him anything, he could see what'd happened.

Someone had stepped on a crappy roof, fell and was probably stuck. One look down the hole that extended all the way to the ground floor was all the confirmation he needed. Then the dust finally cleared and Levi sucked in a breath.

Sun bounced off apple red hair that'd become a little grungy and scraggly over the months. Levi didn't hesitate in jumping down.

He could see that she was unconscious, her eyes closed peacefully and face lax. Unconscious, unconscious, unconscious...

One arm was pinned under her body, her legs were completely covered by debris that looked heavy enough to crush. His assumption was proven correct when he caught sight of the trickle of red seeping into her clothes and the settled dust. The moment he landed he fell to his knees, shoving a hand under her nose and waited, waited...

He felt a weak gust tickle his finger, sighing in relief he set about moving the heavy beams and sheets of wood from someone's old life off of her. He heaved and managed to shift something in the pile but was halted by the soft groan from underneath.

"Red?" He lowered himself so he could see. Her eyes crinkled and fluttered before snapping open with a pained gasp.

Her hand scrambled and stretched, skipping across the dirty floor before Levi caught it in his own. She gripped him tight, finally meeting his eyes but her breath stayed as heavy rasps.

Levi didn't try to sooth her, he was never good with words. He instead told her how this would happen, how things would play out.

"I'm going to move as many of those beams as I can, when I say go, you'll have to drag yourself out of there."

He didn't ask her if she needed things clarified because he knew she understood. She was Red. But when he tried to stand up, her hand dragged him back down.

Levi almost growled at her, almost shouted at her because they didn't have time! But he caught the look on her face and the anger left him. Her eyes were wide, shimmering wet and her mouth quivered slightly. For the first time since he met her, Red looked scared.

"M-My legs are—I think my legs a-are broken"

Levi's heart sank.

"You don't kno-" "No, no, I can...I can feel it"

Her usual certainty bleeding over into the dreadful context they found themselves in did nothing to sooth Levi's fraying edges. He started to feel like he knew where this was going.

Her fingers wound around his, her chipped and dirty nails digging into skin.

"I won't last, not even to the gate"

Levi was about to shake his head because he would do it, he would get her there but was cut off by a question.

"You remember that boy, the boy who broke his arm when I saved him?"

Levi nodded.

He did remember, Levi never forgot any of his teammates.

He remembered when the poor kid realized he was hurt bad enough to really worry.

He also remembered how the kid had screamed not even three days later when he died.

Tears welled up on her lashes, her eyes blurring as she pushed through the pain.

"A broken arm is bad, but a broken leg..." She let the sentence hang, knowing she didn't have to finish it. Levi understood. He clutched her hand with both of his, meeting her eyes and said with as much sincerity as he could that "You'll be okay". She shook her head.

"You know better than I do that I'll..." She paused, her voice wavering but she shook her head, grip tightening.

"Levi!" He almost jumped when she shouted, he worried that something had happened but she just continued, face set in a strained playful scowl. "Don't close yourself off so much, make some friends! You're still young so live a little, maybe you should get yourself a girl." She wiggled her eyebrows, a small smirk playing on the tips of her lips but it was quickly washed away with a groan of pain. Levi tried to stand up to move the beams but she pulled him down again, the pain on her face still clear.

"If..." She stopped to breath, it looked like it was getting harder and Levi itched to do something. "If you make it, could you take care of my little girl?" Her face softened into a tiny smile, giving the impression that she was glowing. "She's wanted to join the Survey corps since she was a little girl so you'll probably see her in your ranks very soon" She snapped out of her happy daze and focused back on Levi, her face hardening with determination.

"You will, won't you?" Levi didn't have the heart to say no, he was terrible with kids, but nodded anyways. She beamed at him, trapped under death with broken legs and no future but still beaming at him like she was proud. A flurry of yells could be heard from above but Levi paid them no mind, his focus solely on Patricia.

"It's been an honour serving with you, Sir. You are as strong as they say but they were wrong with everything they said about who you are as a person. You're so much better than they'd said" She sniffles and squeezed her eyes shut, causing the build up of tears to tip over her lashes and down her cheeks. She sucked in air, opening her eyes and looking up, trying to stop the flow. Her voice shook as she continued but her smile was as bright as ever.

"Levi, you-you've come so far a-and I...I want you to know that I'm so prou-"

He hadn't heard the warning.

He'd forgotten the grappling titans just outside the flimsy wood walls. So when a foot came crashing through the roof...

Red seeped into red, reminding Levi once again why making connections was never a good thing.

Suddenly he was back, back when he'd folded himself into a corner for so long that he'd almost become a part of it. To the room where he'd watched and waited for his mother to wake up but instead watched and smelled her body decompose, the air going rancid when her bowels released.

Another one gone.

Looking up, Levi was greeted by the sight of the fighting Titan, its scraggly hair waving and its entire being oblivious to the pain it caused.

Looking down, Levi saw Red pinned under its disgusting foot. He could still feel Patricia's hand in his, he could see her eyes, the usual sparkle gone and their hazel colour tainted with leaked red. The rest of her body that lay under the pile of debris was crushed into a splatter of flattened organs and sprayed blood.

My hands shook.

I didn't cry like I did with Eren, but my breath hitched and ran away, leaving me stuttering and gasping for purchase in my wreck of a life.

Nothing is guaranteed.

Nothing is constant.

No matter how much you wanted it to be.

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Levi stood, staring at the bane of his existence leap forward and attack another passing Titan. He felt someone nudge him, a voice buzzed in his ear but he didn't register them. A rough shove finally broke him out of his daze and he let his eyes slide over to one of the soldiers who'd been by the hole, John.

"The gate's opening"

He noticed that John didn't take his eyes off of Red, his brown eyes as wide as saucers. Levi nodded and shot out a wire, rising through the hole, larger than before, and looked towards the gate. Sure enough, the gate was slowly creaking open but wouldn't stay open for long. He saw the rest of his squad dodging titans and diving through the gate followed by other groups that Levi guessed had managed to survive in some other place.

He gestured for the other two to follow him as he lunged off the roof and towards the gate's opening. They raced across what was left of the town and rolled into Trost heaving and panting. Levi was surrounded by his squad, everyone shouting and whooping until John and Sarah shared the news.

The air surrounding them then was somber, contrasting greatly with the roaring crowd around them as the gate finally closed. Civilians shouted out their false joy at their return and Levi had to restrain himself from growling, quickly growing tired of everyone's fake praise and love.

"Levi!"

The voice was familiar and prompted Levi to turn.

"LEVI!"

He searched the writhing crowds and caught a flash of familiar turquoise. His breath hitched. One of his squad mates jostled him and he lost sight of the beautiful eyes, he searched for them desperately but it was no use. Levi turned back and followed the stream of tired, injured and hungry soldiers, berating himself for getting too close again even when he knew better.