Disclaimer: EA and Bioware own the characters and setting

Author's note: First of all, shout out to animexchick for all the reviews. It's really motivating knowing that someone is reading AND enjoying it! I'm thinking after this chapter there will be an epilogue of sorts to wrap it up. No way, I will have completed an entire story? o_O Also, it does get steamy by the end if you catch my meaning, but I'm sure we were all expecting something like that to happen after all...

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Their tasks had taken them their separate ways upon returning to Skyhold, but all day her mind wandered to the upcoming evening. Was he feeling the same way? Would he require an invitation or would he invite himself? He wouldn't back out, would he? She had been unable to forget the entire duration of their trip, having to settle for stolen kisses or cuddles, but ultimately sleeping alone. Just like things used to be before that fateful night… she frowned. In hindsight, it was easy to see why he had avoided anything more than small signs of affection. But now…everything was different. They were different. If she'd wanted to make love with him before, it was now a burning desire that threatened her sanity, only fueled by the lack of ability to do so.

Once she was finally free from her duties, she hurried to her quarters, fairly flying up the steps. What would she find? An empty room? A naked man sprawled on her bed? The answer proved to be halfway between the two. He was indeed there waiting on her bed, though certainly still clothed. He was wearing a simple tunic and trousers, his armor long abandoned. He was barefoot, his socks and shoes discarded by the fireplace where he had already seen to stoking the fire, and she could tell his hair was still damp. "You've already washed up," she blurted, a pleased grin widening on her face. She could feel her cheeks already heating up as she realized what he had been contemplating. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who is eager this evening."

He gave an amused smile. "Believe me, my lady, it was hard to wait all that time. Just because it was my idea to hold off while in the fields didn't mean I was happy about it. And I wanted to be cleaned up and presentable for you. But I will wait a bit longer while you wash up from the road."

She growled. "Do I have to?"

His response was a full-out chuckle. "So impatient! Yes, you should. It would be a shame if you got me all dirty after that thorough scrubbing. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." At that last remark, he suddenly sobered. "I'm not going anywhere…"

"I know you won't." She moved over to where he was sitting and reassured him with a quick peck on the cheek. His whiskers were soft and smooth against her lips; he had really put a great deal of effort into his preparations… As she pulled back, she could see the adoration shine in his blue eyes. "All right then, I'll be fast."

And fast she was, rushing to the washroom and hurriedly undressing, tossing her clothes in a heap on the floor. Rag in hand, she rubbed at the grime which inevitably accompanied a mission, all the while imagining his hands caressing those same places. Why hadn't she made him do this? Ah, perhaps another night. Hastily she dumped water over herself to rinse. Good enough, right? No, he'd put a lot of time into getting ready; she had to try a bit harder. She reached for her nearly unused bottle of lavender lotion and began to apply it all over her body. Normally it too frivolous and she wasn't keen on walking around smelling like a garden, but this was entirely different. Satisfied that he'd enjoy burying his face against her skin now that it was soft and sweet-smelling, she combed her fingers through her short hair and donned a loose bathrobe. That wouldn't stay on long.

When she emerged, she found he was now shirtless, sitting on the edge of her bed fidgeting with his hands. The look he cast her when their eyes met made a knot form in her stomach. She knew right away how he wanted it, and she would gladly do it for him tonight. Quietly but intensely she padded over to sit beside him. "You want me to lead?"

"I…yes. Unless that's not what you want. I just…" So different from last time, when he was pushing and guiding her through the process, burning with his need. This need was different, more subdued but no less urgent. This time, he was a man starving for love after years of self-denial whereas last time he was a man desperate to prove his feelings. She just hoped he would be true to his promise and take what she would offer. In fact, that was probably something to get clear right away lest they interrupt their amorous actions with a debate of his merits.

"It's fine. I understand what you need." She reached over and laced her fingers with his on the bed. "But there's still something I have to hear from you, Thom. I now know who you are and what you have done, but I offer my unconditional love all the same. Will you accept it without continuing to question it?"

The breath seemed trapped in his lungs. Such a divine offer, one he'd never imagine possible! It was a hard proposition to be sure, considering how long it had been since he'd let anyone care for him, much less love him unconditionally. And it reminded him of a question that had been nagging him since the day they'd come out and confessed their love openly.

"Before I answer that, there's something I've been wanting to ask you." He inhaled shakily, nerves suddenly getting to him. Whatever he was about to ask was no small thing, she could tell. "You…you've been abused and mistreated all your life." The mere thought of this caused his features to darken, and she looked down.

"I never thought of it like that, but you're probably right," she admitted quietly, only to be wrapped in a tight hug, face pressed against his hard, hairy chest. He smelled of lye from the soap, yet it was still tinged with hay, perhaps from storing all his clothes out in the barn. It occurred to her that this smell was calming, safe. It smelled like home, though she couldn't say why; it wasn't as if she'd ever really had a home. She snuggled in closer, melting into his powerful arms.

This seemed to rattle him. "And when you finally have a choice of who you want to make love with, you pick me. Me!" Rainier shook his head in utter disbelief. "How can that be? You deserve better than a man who has hurt you as much as I have. But I love you so much I can't hardly bear it…" he trailed off, pulling her away so she could see his ashamed face.

It seemed it was time for a final confrontation with that demon. Despite her successes before, Malika had known deep down that it wasn't vanquished yet. Until he admitted he could be loved, it still had the upper hand, and this was the crossroads. He would undoubtedly live with it for the rest of his life; it was a punishment he had to bear, and one she could only soothe and ease to the background. But if she told him what he needed to hear in this moment, those things he still didn't understand, that might be enough to subdue it from there on out.

At that, she smiled gently and lightly skimmed a hand up his naked chest, nudging him so he was lying on his back. He quickly swung his legs up onto the bed as well so she could straddle his hips. "I made you tell me why you loved me. The whole story. But I never gave you my account, did I? The story of how Malika Cadash fell in love for the first time in her life. No wonder you can't understand my actions," she spoke in a tender voice, caressing his face. It was difficult for him to look her in the eye, she could tell, but he finally did, eyes searching for answers to the questions that plagued him.

"You know, the first time I met you, I thought you were going to be some up-tight do-gooder warrior. I think I tried to be sassy and you just shut me down. I felt a bit put off," she laughed. "But you weren't really like that at all. I know you hid a lot, but as if to make up for it, you revealed a lot about your thoughts, the things that mattered at the moment rather than the things of the past. You'd complain about the nobles with me, we'd mock them behind their backs out of earshot from the other leaders. We'd appreciate practicality, a good joke, a beautiful piece of nature. And we'd help people. I never had to worry about you judging my actions like I did with others. Help a mage and someone gets mad. Help a Templar, someone else gets mad. Help someone who didn't deserve anything and even more people would get mad. But as long as I was helping, you stood by me in all of my decisions regardless of people's affiliations. I told you before I would have fallen for you even if you didn't call yourself a Warden, and that's because I knew you as a good man, a man I could trust with anything.

"I think almost dying at Haven put it into perspective for me. I was naturally avoiding a relationship, because, you know, bad experiences and all that. But losing all those people…I realized just how scared I was to lose you, more than what was normal. And suddenly, watching from a distance as you helped our people make it to Skyhold, giving yourself in whatever way possible to ease their suffering, I would feel hot, my stomach would turn in knots. You were a hero, someone I could never hope to be but wished for all the same. I hated myself for being so impractical, but I couldn't stop it. When I let my feelings for you come to light on the battlement and you turned me down, I knew you were probably right. But I was selfish, the way you tell me you were selfish. We both wanted to do the right thing, but we both wanted each other. I think I actually felt a bit better knowing you were struggling with the same thing I was.

"My heart almost stopped when I saw you standing on my balcony that night. You said you wanted to end it, but it was so obvious you felt compelled to end it though you wanted to be with me. Why would you be there in the moonlight if that weren't true? And seeing you there, I knew I couldn't do what you asked. You were the best thing I had ever had in my life. So I swallowed my pride and did what my heart told me to: I kissed you. And finally you kissed me back. It was the best moment of my life to that point.

"We danced in Halamshiral, when you were the one bit of normalcy in that crazy sea of masked faces. We fought through the fade and all of our nightmares side by side, and you were the one I leaned on to debrief the whole trying experience. I could trust you with everything, you would be up front with me. That's why it hurt so much to find out you really WEREN'T." She finally paused, drawing a deep breath. "I always thought you were trying to protect me from the hurt of you being a Grey Warden. That night in the stables, I tried to talk you out of that kind of thought only to throw myself at you. I was desperate and you were holding back, always holding back… I was so excited to finally break your resistance, and it was everything I had hoped it would be. I thought my heart would overflow, if I am allowed to be overly melodramatic about it. I wanted to have this for the rest of my life, you and me, together through everything, your love being the support that I needed to stay sane during this whole Inquisitor mess. Then you left. I wanted to die. Being with you was like breathing, I needed it to survive."

He closed his eyes and a tear escaped. She wiped it from his cheek. "And then I found out everything. I was so furious at first. I suppose I would have to be if I loved you as I professed. I felt scared, weak, like I had finally opened up only to make a huge mistake in judgement. I would be the laughingstock of Thedas. And thinking of how I had begged you to bed me…I was mad at myself. You were trying to keep me from making that mistake and I wasn't helping. But I saw how hurt you felt, the absolute pain in your face when I finally confessed to my own history…you were hurting as much as I was, how could I stay angry? And I thought maybe if I hadn't kept things from you about myself, you wouldn't have kept all those things from me. It wasn't going to be all right just like that, but I knew I had to at least give you a chance to fix things. I had to know if your love for me was one of the things you had been honest about. So I let you go free. I justified it every which way in the courtroom, but if I'm honest I just had to know what you would do next."

She broke out in a hollow chuckle. "We are both just so fucked up. Neither of us handled the relationship right. But I have yet to regret my decision to give you another chance. You've done EVERYTHING I've asked of you without a second thought. You are trying so hard to make any amends possible for your crimes. And still you don't see that you are a GOOD man." She placed a heavy emphasis on 'good' and pressed her glowing hand against his heart. "You made a lot of mistakes in the last year, but I know you never wanted any of this pain to be caused. And the more I dig into it, the more I see that the down-to-earth, noble man I fell for was always the truth, not an act as I feared. And now…" she paused, caressing his bearded cheek, "I believe the dream I had of us being happy together can still come true if you only accept it. I love you, Thom, the good and the bad." To drive that point home, she moved in to kiss his mouth, wrapping her arms around his head.

As strange as it was to think about with his woman kissing him in a fervor, Varric's words from their prison chat flooded his memories: Can you forgive yourself? It's the first thing she'll want. He pulled away, leaving her fearful. Maker, she thought he was going to refuse her love, that it was over after everything… His voice was rough, raw. "I'll try. It's not easy, but I'll try to forgive myself for you. You deserve no less from the person you give your heart to."

"Thom…" she breathed, eyes watering.

"I want to make you happy, but I suppose that will mean allowing myself some happiness." He closed his eyes. "I swear to the Maker, the Stone, Andraste, the whole damn elven pantheon, and whoever else anyone worships, you won't regret this. You won't regret us." Suddenly taking over, he grabbed her head, threading his fingers through her hair and brought her back to his mouth where he commenced to make out with her, turning the tables and pulling himself on top of her. Just like before, he was pressing her into the mattress with the fervor of his actions. She was stunned by the sudden burst of passion but did not protest as he ravaged her mouth with his tongue as his hands mirrored the motion across her temples. All she could do was helplessly grasp his muscular arms and yield to his desires, squirming. Soon he was grasping her hair in his fists and tugging gently while sucking hard at her lips, the spark lighting to a fire. Her breath had quickly gone shaky, and she panted with want.

"Is this all right, Malika?" he finally asked in a rumbling voice before moving his mouth to her exposed neck and nipping lightly. "I'm not crossing any lines, am I?"

"Maker, yes!" she whispered intensely, finally able to grasp his hair as he had done to her. "Wait. No. I mean…ugh don't you dare stop!" With a grunt of acknowledgement, he moved on from her neck to her collarbone, then further down. She lost her grip on him as he moved, curse her short dwarven arms, and had to be content to grab at the sheets while his tongue claimed everything in its path. The feel of his shorter beard on her skin made her flush everywhere…

He began to massage her. "So damn beautiful, Malika…" he hissed. "And you are mine! Maker…" The statement in that tone alone was enough to make her gasp.

"Please, Thom…" she begged feverishly, in no control of her own desire. "Don't keep teasing me, I want you back inside of me…" Her entire body trembled with need. Abandoning his current objectives, he complied with her wishes, soon setting a reckless pace that spoke of the frantic need pent within him. She didn't mind at all, and moved in response. As they drew towards the edge, she could suddenly feel first one tear, than another, falling against her burning skin. She forced her eyes open long enough to notice that he was crying, but these tears were different. They were tears of joy, relief. Somewhere in the haze, she felt a wave of awe sweep over her.

"I love you Malika Cadash!" he groaned fiercely, pulling her tight to his body. "Come for me!"

"Thom!" she cried in a shrill voice as she obeyed. This time, he was able to enjoy every bit of it, and her release sent him to his own as the sound of his name on her lips triggered it. This was right, this was how it should be.

They stayed that way, holding tightly to one another desperately until their breathing calmed and their pulses came back down. Satisfied that there was nothing more to give, he withdrew and moved to lay at her side, pulling her back up to the pillows. He needed no invitation this time, drawing her into his arms and holding her to his chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "My lady, was that all right?" he asked quietly, rubbing her back and planting a soft kiss on her cheek.

She pulled back to look into his eyes. "It was perfect. But please, I don't care what anyone says, stay with me tonight. I don't want you to go…"

"No. I won't leave. If you'll have me, I'll spend every night at your side," he murmured resolutely. With another tender kiss to her lips, he sat up and pulled the covers over them. Instead of resting her head on the pillow, she rested it on his chest and snuggled in.

"Thank you. I didn't realize how much I needed this," she sighed, closing her eyes. She was completely spent.

"Me neither," he agreed, wrapping a protective arm around his woman. "Me neither," he repeated, admiring her in the dim light of the dying fire. His thumb traced the smile of her lips. "It WAS perfect. Making love to you always is." He paused. "Well, all two times that we've done it…"

"It wasn't better this time?" she asked, frowning.

"No, it was. Not having that sick feeling of guilt in the pit of your stomach really does make things more enjoyable," he admitted, scratching his head.

"So would you say we've settled things between us now?" She was pretty sure she knew the answer, but hearing it didn't hurt.

He thought carefully, and for the first time in his entire life, he knew without a doubt what he had with another person was the truth. "I do."