So I was going to bring the rest of the Fitches into this chapter, and I also want to get back to some stuff to do with the show, but Naomi decided that it was time for a heart to heart.

And have you ever noticed how sometimes sex scenes are like buses? None for ages, then two come along at once...

Chapter Twenty One: Chains Of Love

Naomi

I glanced across the sleeping form of Emily to the clock at her side of the bed. It was nearly seven in the morning. Rehearsals didn't start until nine so there was no rush to get up, but I had been awake for some time. I was sat back against the headboard, the covers pulled up around me, desperately fighting the urge to run. My clothes lay scattered on the floor within easy reach – I could throw them on and be out the door without a sound. It was certainly a tempting thought. Ordinarily, I would have acted on it already by now, but something was stopping me from leaving that bed.

I sighed softly, and watched the rhythmic rise and fall of Emily's chest as she slept. She looked so peaceful, blissfully unaware of the tempest that she had stirred within me. I cast my mind back to last night. Believe it or not, I hadn't even come here for that – for sex and impassioned declarations of love. Yet somehow, things never go as planned around Emily. She has a way of throwing me off balance with one hand, and catching me safely with the other. And she had made me do the one thing that I had vowed never to do again: I had fallen in love.

That was the scariest part about last night's declaration. Not the words. Not the fact that they spilled effortlessly from my lips without any apparent thought from me. Not even the fact that she uttered them straight back with a sincerity that couldn't be challenged. No, the scariest part was the fact that I meant them. Unequivocally, and beyond all doubt. It wasn't the heat of the moment, or a response to a quite breath-taking orgasm: it was how I really felt. I am in love with Emily Fitch.

How could I not be? She is quite simply the most amazing woman that I've ever met. Take last night: most people would have ran a mile at the revelation of such a big secret. But what did Emily do? She opened up her heart and her bed to me, simply because I asked her to. And as for what happened next: my God, she was incredible! Putting me at ease, showing me I could trust her, making me feel like I was the centre of her world.

When I left England four years ago, I swore that I would never let anyone get that close to me again. Finally leaving Justin had taken every ounce of strength that I could find: I had no intention of surrendering myself over to anyone ever again. So I shagged around. I never got to know anyone, I never formed attachments. I took what I wanted from people and gave little in return.

Except that wasn't true: not really. My disastrous 'almost fuck' with Cook helped me to realise that I didn't want sex with a string of strangers. I had only been trying to boost my fragile self-esteem by proving to myself that I was desirable – and it hadn't worked. So I stopped shagging around, but I still longed for that contact. I still yearned to know that people were attracted to me. That I wasn't as worthless as Justin had always had me believing. But it never went further. I never swapped numbers, I never stuck around for small talk. Until Emily, that is: she had ripped up my rule book and danced in its resultant snow-storm.

I never even saw it coming. I was attracted to her immediately, but I thought I could handle it. I kept her at arms length. At least I always meant to, but somehow she kept burrowing her way further and further in. I pushed her away, then turned around to find her closer than ever. In the few months I'd known her, she had turned everything back to front in my life, and instead of running from her, I found myself hurtling towards her.

Last night was a perfect example. Justin really had only been in my room for a few minutes after Emily left it. Just long enough to tell me that I should stop 'being silly', and go home with him.

"I'm not going anywhere with you" I had snorted with feigned self-confidence.

"You're my wife Naomi! You belong with me!" Was his answer. I sneered at him.

"Don't you mean I belong TO you?"

"Of course not!" He snapped. "I just want you back home." I crossed my arms defiantly.

"I have a life here now. I don't need you, and I certainly don't want you, so piss off." I marched to the door and swung it open. Justin stared at me for a moment, as though he expected me to change my mind. Then he stalked out of the room.

"You're coming home with me, Naomi" was his parting shot. "I won't give up until you realise I'm right." I slammed the door so fiercely I was surprised it didn't rattle off its hinges. I sank down onto the bed, shaking after our confrontation. I felt angry at him for just assuming I would instantly fall in with his plans. I felt angry at myself, for all the times in the past that I had done just that. But also I felt pleased with myself that I had stood up to him – something that had been a long time coming. I had spent the past four years looking over my shoulder for him, as though he had some sort of magical hold over me. I was finally beginning to realise that it's not true. The choice was mine alone, and I would never go back to him. I had so much going for me now. All of his lies that I could be nothing without him were shot down in flames. I had my own business with a partner that I really trusted. I had friendships. I had a very successful show, right in the heart of Las Vegas. And I had Emily.

Wonderful, amazing Emily, who was everything that Justin wasn't. In those moments after Justin left my room, she became all I could think about. She was the reason that I would never go back to my husband. She had broken his spell, and given me the will to stand up to him. It was Emily that I wanted to be with, and Justin was left so far behind in her dust that he was no longer even visible on the horizon. After sitting for about twenty minutes thinking about nothing but Emily, I rose to my feet. Without being aware of making a decision, I let my legs propel me out of my room and along the corridor towards Emily's room. I had to see her.

My certainty vanished the second I found myself knocking on her door. My familiar fears rose up. How could I admit to something so vulnerable as needing to be with her? So when she opened the door, I blurted out the first lie that came into my head. Naturally, Emily took it at face value, which only increased the guilt I felt. Eventually, I had to own up to the truth. When I did so, Emily confounded my expectations once again. I had given her so much shit, yet still she was there for me, ready to love me, ready to lavish attention on me.

I watched as Emily, still asleep, rolled onto her side facing away from me. There was no way that I could leave. There's a limit to how much shit one person will put up with, and Emily had received more than her fair share. If I pushed her away again, she may well stop coming back, and I knew now that that's the last thing I really wanted. Besides, she deserved so much more than me just skulking out like a thief in the night. My decision made, I swallowed my fears down and shifted closer to Emily.

I lay behind her with one arm supporting my head against her pillow. I reached my free hand out and traced gentle patterns against her arm. I ran my fingers from the curve of her shoulder, down to the tips of her fingers and back again. I pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder. Emily grunted a little, but her breathing remained the same and her eyes stayed closed. Enjoying the sensation of touching her, I slipped my hand under the thin sheet that was covering us, and placed it on her stomach. Her skin felt soft and warm as my fingers moved over it. She sighed and shifted slightly, before her eyelids flickered open. I placed a second, lingering kiss on her shoulder. Emily gave a low, contented moan at the contact.

I moved closer, pressing my body flush against her back. My hand continued its slow caresses over her stomach, while I pressed tender kisses to her neck and shoulder. My intention had only been to wake Emily, but now that she was, I felt the same desire that she had inspired within me last night. I longed to change her moan of contentment into a one of ecstasy. My hand moved higher, ghosting along the underside of her breasts. Unable to help myself, I reached higher again and squeezed one of them firmly. Emily gasped and I saw her eyes widen. She moaned again, but this one was full of want.

I continued to give her tits my attention, squeezing them and tugging at her erect nipples. I grazed my teeth against her neck and shoulder, then soothed the marks I left with delicate kisses. Then I let my hand trail down between the curve of her breasts. I moved it over her stomach, then down the top of her thigh as far as I could reach without shifting my position. I moved it back up, this time over the back of her thigh. I gave her bum a squeeze as I kissed the base of her jaw. Emily stretched her neck, giving me full access.

Finally, I slid my hand back to her stomach, then slowly down between her legs. She shifted slightly, opening her legs to readily receive my touch. She let out a heavy breath as my fingers slid through her folds, gathering her wetness on them.

"Oh fuck!" She breathed as I made long, unhurried strokes against her clit. I nipped at her earlobe, before moving my lips down to suck at her pulse-point. All the while, my hand slid deliberately between Emily's legs, teasing the opening of her pussy. Her body rocked and rippled against me, her breathing becoming completely erratic. All this without me even venturing inside of her. At least, not yet.

After several minutes of touching her in that measured way, I sensed that Emily was getting close. I reached further around her. Slowly, almost leisurely, I slid two fingers deep into her pussy. The moan that met my ears was heavy with arousal. I withdrew my fingers almost completely, before pushing them back again. I pushed into her with long, languid strokes, driving her body into a frenzy. My palm pressed firmly against her clit as my fingers moved deep inside her.

After several long strokes, Emily clamped her hand down on top of mine, adding to the pressure against her clit. She moaned and cursed under her breath as her orgasm hit her. I could feel her pulsations against my palm and through my fingers as she clenched around me. She rocked her hips against me, letting the waves of pleasure rip through her. I kept my hand where it was and pressed myself firmly against her back, wanting her to enjoy every last bit of it.

Eventually, her trembling subsided. Slowly, I withdrew my fingers, and Emily rolled onto her back. She gave me a dazzling smile.

"Well that was a great way to wake up!" She told me. I grinned back at her. "Thank you" she said softly, looking suddenly serious.

"You're welcome."

Emily shook her head gently.

"I meant for being here when I woke up." I froze. Had she really known that I would consider doing a runner?

"I er, I wasn't…"

Emily reached up and stroked her hand across my cheek.

"It's okay" she whispered. "I'm just glad you're here." I gazed into those perfect brown eyes, reflecting all the warmth that was in her heart.

"I meant it, you know" I muttered. "What I said last night."

"What did you say?" Asked Emily. I frowned, before noticing that the corners of her lips were turned up in a half smile. She knew exactly what I was referring to, she just wanted me to say it again. I took a deep breath.

"You know, that thing at the end. Right after you…" Oh for fucks sake. "I love you." The smile she gave me could have been formed by angels.

"I know you do" she said breathlessly. "I love you too." I leaned closer and captured her lips in a soft kiss. When we broke apart, I lay back against the pillows in contented silence.

"So…" Began Emily at length, drawing the word out. "Do you always lie your way into people's beds?" I felt myself flush with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry" I said, but her smile told me that she wasn't upset. "It wasn't even about sex" I told her.

"Really?" Asked Emily with a chuckle.

"No!" I insisted. I gave a little shrug. "I just didn't want to be alone, that's all." Emily grinned at me.

"And just when exactly did your thoughts change?"

"When I realised that you had nothing on under that bathrobe" I told her immediately. That had been the precise moment that my thoughts had taken a more carnal turn. "The thought of you being naked in the bed we were about to sleep in… well, it drove all thoughts of sleep right out of my head." Emily laughed. I laughed along with her, but I still wanted to make my point clear. "But seriously Em, I didn't really come here for sex." I hated the idea of her thinking that it was some sort of booty call.

"I know" she told me, stroking a hand softly along my arm. "Last night took me by surprise, too. I'm supposed to be mad at you, for fucks sake!" I felt a pang of guilt at that, but I knew Emily wasn't trying to make me feel bad. "But last night we just gave in to other feelings." She smirked at me. "And again this morning."

She was right: that had been our pattern from the start. There was a lot of passion between us, and we had tried in vain to fight it. This hadn't been the first time that we had acted on those feelings – it was just the first time that we hadn't stopped it from going further.

"But you have to be honest with me from now on" said Emily slowly. "No more secrets, okay?" I nodded. "There's nothing else I should know about you, is there? No secret kids back in England or anything?" Her tone was jovial, but her words cut right through me. There was something that I had yet to share with her - something that I had never told anyone.

"No, no kids" I told her, as I tried to swallow down the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat. I braced myself for what I was about to disclose. "But I did get pregnant once" I added softly. Emily was right – I had to start really letting her in if we were to keep moving forward. She shifted in the bed until she was facing towards me, a questioning frown on her face. "I had an er…" It's such a harsh sounding word. I always found it difficult to say aloud. I closed my eyes. "I didn't keep it. Justin didn't want us to start a family, so…" Emily stroked her thumb gently over my cheek. I opened my eyes to see her own eyes staring back at me. They were filled with nothing but love and concern.

"Justin didn't want it?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I was too young for that kind of responsibility, and it would have made things…" I stopped myself before I finished parroting the excuses that I had bought into at the time. I sighed. "Yes, it was Justin's decision." For years I hadn't even let myself believe that it wasn't what I had wanted, too. That had been just too horrible to contemplate – that not only did Justin have control over my life, but over my body too. I felt tears sting the backs of my eyes. As they started to slide down my face, Emily wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug.

Soon, it was all spilling out of me. I told her all about my marriage to Justin – all the awful details. How I had abandoned my plans for University for him. How he got jealous whenever I spent time with anyone else. The fact that I liked both men and women only seemed to make that worse for him, even though I would never have cheated on him. He slowly kept on at me until I eventually dropped all contact with any friends that I'd had. I couldn't even keep a job, because he didn't want me working. I had no money of my own, except what 'pocket money' he gave me.

I told her about how things gradually started to change. The abortion had been the final straw – it made me realise just how much control I had surrendered to him. I told him I was leaving him, but he simply laughed in my face. There were a number of times that I packed a bag and headed for the door, but with no money and nowhere to go, Justin always managed to talk me out of it.

But by then the desire to leave had taken a hold in me. So I began saving whatever money I could, with a view to escaping from him. I started to perform magic for children's birthdays, and at weddings. It was the only thing I could do – I had no qualifications to speak of, but I had always had an interest in magic. It was one of the few hobbies that I'd never given up. Justin usually spent his weekends out with friends, so I was able to keep it all from him. I found that it helped to build up my confidence, and I started to believe that I could live on my own.

Eventually, I made enough money to put my plans into action. I contacted a solicitor to begin divorce proceedings, I bought a plane ticket to New York, and I left the house when Justin wasn't around to try and stop me.

Emily held me tightly as I shared it all with her. She wiped my tears as they fell, and gave me reassuring kisses. I had never shared so much with anyone before, but it actually felt cathartic to do so with Emily.

"The worst thing is that it all just feels so fragile" I told her. "All of this – the show, the business. It's all a fake. Underneath it all, I'm still just that same scared little girl who let her husband tell her what to do. That's the real illusion." Emily shook her head firmly.

"No, Naoms that's not true." She reached out and turned my head until I was facing her. "You got away from him, and you did that by yourself. You've got more strength than you realise." She moved closer and pressed her lips to mine. "You're an amazing woman, Naomi" she told me as we broke apart. "And I love you, just as you are. I never want you to change, and I never want to control you, or tell you what to do." I nodded, and pulled her closer to me, revelling in the warmth of her body pressed against mine.

Later, the two of us headed down to rehearsals together. We debated if it would be safe to do so, but concluded that we could have easily bumped into each other in the lift. As we walked into the room, Katie eyed her sister with concern.

"Are you okay, Em?" She asked. Emily nodded. "Just I thought I heard you moaning a bit through the night. Still having trouble with that migraine?" I cast a furtive glance at Emily, and saw that she was a little thrown by Katie's question.

"Er, yeah a bit" she mumbled. Surreptitiously, she pulled the high collar of her shirt closer to her neck. I bit back a smile - I may just have left one or two marks under there this morning.

"I thought you'd pulled, at first" continued Katie. "But I knew that wouldn't be it." Emily frowned at her sister.

"And why not?" She asked indignantly. I held my breath, hoping that she wasn't about to say too much here. Katie shrugged.

"Well I can't remember the last time I saw you with a man, Emily! Seriously though – when's the last time you actually had a fuck?" Emily bit her lip. I cast a sly glance at my watch: about two hours ago, I thought smugly to myself.

"Well as you said, it was just a migraine last night" muttered Emily. I breathed a silent sigh of relief, and vowed that we would be spending all future nights together in my room.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to get to the airport" said Katie, rising to her feet.

"What? We've got rehearsals!" I insisted. Katie just sighed.

"I told you yesterday!"

I stared blankly at her. I didn't remember any conversation about the airport yesterday, but then I hadn't exactly been at my best. Katie rolled her eyes at me.

"Mum and dad are arriving today, so I said I'd go and meet them" she told me, like she was explaining something to a small child.

Oh shit. Am I really ready to meet the 'in-laws'?

As ever, I appreciate your thoughts!

And now for something completely different: As you have probably noticed by now, I like to attempt to put comedy moments into my writing (emphasis on the word 'attempt' - whether I succeed or not is a different matter). After all, Skins itself mixes comedy and drama. Although I really could live with less jokes about bodily functions. Seriously.

Anyway, I would love to write something that is first and foremost a comedy story, but my inner critic keeps telling me that I'm just not funny. Anyway, I have come up with an idea for such a story, but I guess I'm just wanting to find out what interest there is for it. It's a little bit off the planet, but then so is my head, half the time. Please let me know your thoughts! (Be nice!)

Myrtle