Title: Pride
Author: rooster dawn
Alternative Universe
Summary: Harm and Mac act out Pride and Prejudice
Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.
Pride & Prejudice is the property of Jane Austen
(First known as First Impressions)
: Warner Brothers 1940
: BBC 1979
: Arts and Entertainment Network/BBC co-production 1995
: Universal Studio 2005
no copyright infringement intended.
Please let me know what you think, it's the only way I can write better stories for you.
part twenty Time to Go Home
Harm was depressed. The last thing he wanted right now was to be annoyed by Allison. She would tease him mercilessly. That was something he didn't want to deal with. All he wanted right now was to be left alone in his thoughts.
"What is the matter Darcy? I haven't seen you this morose since your father died. What is the cause of all this melancholy?" his cousin asked.
"I asked her to marry me." Harm replied sullenly.
"You asked her to marry you? Who did you ask to marry you?" asked his cousin.
He was confused. Surely it wasn't Renee, Lady Catherine would have been crowing about that, but who? He knew of no lady that Harm felt that way about.
"Ms Mackenzie, I asked her to marry me. She refused." replied Harm. He really didn't want to talk about it. He still didn't understand what had happened.
"You asked Ms Sarah? I didn't know you liked her in that manner." he questioned.
"Almost from the first time we met I have been drawn to her. I tried fighting the attraction. I tried staying away, but nothing seemed to work. Finally I gave in and decided to ask her to marry me. It's the reason why I came here." explained Harm.
"When did all this happen?" he asked. But then some things began to become clearer to him in his mind.
Ms Sarah hadn't come to Rosings yesterday after church. No one knew where she was or what happened to her. Then he remembered that Darcy had ridden off to look for her. It was many hours before he finally reappeared at Rosings.
"Yesterday after church, it was shortly after your ill advised conversation with her." replied Harm.
"What conversation? We talked about many things." he was even more confused.
"The one about Mr. Keeter and the woman he intended to marry. The woman was her sister. You hurt her very deeply when you told her about what I did." explained Harm.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. But why did she refuse to marry you? What did you do?" he asked.
He could understand why Darcy wanted to marry Ms Sarah. She was very beautiful and quite special. She was every man's dream.
"She said she didn't like me. She didn't think I liked her." sighed Harm. As long as he lived he would never understand how she could believe that he didn't like her.
"I do remember her saying that you and she weren't the best of friends. She mentioned to me a few times that she didn't understand why you were always looking at her, but wouldn't say anything to her." he replied.
"I danced with her the night of the Netherfield Ball. She's constantly flirting with me. I go on walks with her." argued Harm.
"You say nothing to her when you walk with her. I have never seen her flirting with you, maybe tease you, but not flirt with you. What does dancing have to do with anything?" he tried to understand.
"She flirts with me all the time cousin. It's part of her make up. It's something that she and Allison like to do." explained Harm as the Colonel began to understand. What he thought was teasing, Darcy thought it was flirting. Interesting he thought.
"As for dancing, she informed me the very first night we met that dancing was a way to show a woman that you like them or even love them. It was better than reading poetry to them. It was the reason I danced with her all night at the Netherfield Ball." continued Harm.
"I take it that she didn't understand." he replied.
"No, she has made it a habit of not understanding anything I say or do." Harm replied looking hurt.
"Is that what happened yesterday? She didn't understand?" he asked looking for some clarification.
"I told her I loved her. I mentioned how I fought the idea of loving her because it went against my better judgment. I wasn't looking to fall in love and get married. Then I mention something about how my family and friends would be against the marriage.
Finally I told her that her family's social standing was so far beneath my own that it was scandalous." Harm explained.
"I'm sure she didn't appreciate the manner of your declaration." he replied shaking his head. What a fool you are Darcy.
"No she didn't, but she said it wasn't the main reason." Harm continued.
"What then?" asked a confused cousin. Why wouldn't Sarah want to marry Darcy? He had told her what a fine man Darcy was in church.
"There were many reasons beginning with she didn't like me, which I don't agree with. She's craved my attention since the day we met. She spent a week tending to her sister at Netherfield because she wanted my attention.
Secondly, she didn't like the fact that I broke up her sister and Jack. She didn't think I should have interfered, but if Jack and her sister were meant to be, I wouldn't have been able to talk him out of seeing her.
Thirdly, She listened to Turner's stories of woe and believed him. I don't understand why she would believe that I would mistreat him. She never saw me mistreat anyone." concluded Harm.
"I must say Darcy, you certainly are a fool. You should have told her that you loved her. Then tell her the reasons why you love her. What anyone else might think of you marrying her doesn't matter.
Everything else would have taken care of itself. You should have told her that you were wrong about her sister and Jack and that you would take care of it when you returned to town.
You could have told her the real story about why you and Turner are no longer friends. If she loved you, she would have understood.
Darcy, no matter what, if you told her that you loved her, she couldn't hate you. She may need some time to come to terms with it, but I'm sure in time she would have loved you too, for all women want to be in love." explained the Colonel.
Harm didn't know what to think. Was it possible that after a period she would forget about the bad words they had exchanged and only remember the ones that he had told her that 'he loved her'? He hoped that it was true.
He didn't want to live the rest of his life without her. He would give her time. Maybe in the fall he and Jack could return to Netherfield to do some hunting. Maybe they would run into Ms Sarah and Ms Jordan while they were walking to Meryton.
Maybe, just maybe his world could still have Ms Sarah in it.
Rosings
It was her last week at Hunsford before Sarah returned home. She needed to get away from Rosings Park. The memories of the last couple of days were still fresh and raw in her mind. She needed to get away from everything that reminded her of him.
She still couldn't believe that Mr. Darcy had asked her to marry him. She wondered what Lady Catherine would have had to say about that? She probably wouldn't have been very happy about it.
Then of course Allison and Mrs. Boone wouldn't have been very happy either. She knew Allison could be very mean when she teased. She also knew from Jordan that she tormented Mr. Darcy about his interest in her last fall before he left.
Was that the reason behind his leaving last fall and never returning? Was he really that sensitive to what his family and friends thought? Maybe that was what he meant when he talked about his family and friends. They could be quite mean and abusive.
But what about his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam? Surely he wouldn't have objected? Or would he be disappointed that he wouldn't be able to marry her?
No, he mentioned to her something about finding a woman with a fortune to continue living in the life style he had grown accustomed to, but he would have approved of her, she was sure of that. He liked her, she could tell.
She didn't like the gall that Mr. Darcy had exhibited, it was beyond reproach. How could he say the things he said? He was supposed to be a gentleman, a man of good breeding. Why couldn't he have kept his proposal short like all his other conversations that he had with her?
All he had to do was say was 'I love you Sarah, will you marry me?' Maybe he could have added a few more words about why he love her like 'you're beautiful, I like the way you move, or you have a interesting mind that I find fascinating.'
She would have still said no, but she would have been able to let him down easier. She might have said 'I don't love you, I didn't think you felt anything for me so I never invested myself emotionally about having any kind of relationship with you.'
She couldn't believe that he actually loved her. When had all this happened? Why hadn't he shown her or said something to her before then? She thought he didn't like her. How can you love someone who doesn't like you?
Their relationship could have been so different if he had just let her know about his feelings. She might have been flattered by his attention if she had known the reasons he was paying attention to her.
There was a big difference between knowing he was looking at her because he loved her and because she thought he was trying to find fault with her. Why couldn't he have said something?
Then there was the issue of her family. He didn't like them. He believed them to be fools. Yet, for some reason it didn't seem to matter to him? Why? Because he loved her? How could her family be a reason for Mr. Keeter to not be with Jordan, but not for him?
But what really upset her was his dismissive attitude in demeaning her while he proceeded to ask her to marry him. She was not worthy to be with him, but he wanted her anyway. Why did he think she would be okay with that?
All he had to say was he loved her and wanted her to be his wife. She would have still said no, but she would have tried to not hurt his feelings. She would have told him that she was honored by his offer, but that she didn't love him.
She was looking to marry a man she loved. She wasn't looking for a marriage of convenience. If he had then asked further she would have said that she thought he didn't like her so her defense mechanism kicked in.
Not that he was a bad man, but that she hadn't thought he was interested in her. She hadn't thought it worth while wasting emotional energy falling in love with someone who didn't like you.
He could always try courting her then. If he was determined to marry her, she might be willing to reevaluate their relationship after a time. She could have him consult with her cousin Mr. Collins.
He certainly could offer a word or thousand about how to ask a woman to marry him. She might be willing to look back at his behavior and appreciate the attention he had given her.
But it would still be quite difficult to excuse him for running away for four months while he tried to forget about her instead of dealing with his attraction for her.
Then there was the issue of Jordan and Mr. Keeter. She couldn't love a man who would hurt her sister and his best friend so badly. He would have to rectify that situation before she would ever consider loving him.
She was brought her out of her thoughts by Lady Catherine. She had been on one of her long winded monologues, which had the tendency to cause one's mind to wander.
"Do you have to go Ms Mackenzie? I'm sure your mother can spare you for a couple of more weeks." wailed Lady Catherine.
Her home had been full of people the last few weeks. Mr. Darcy and his cousin had stayed for four weeks, two weeks longer than she expected. Ms. Mackenzie and Ms Lucas had been here twice a week for the last five weeks.
They were a welcome addition to Mr. Collins and his wife's bi weekly visits. Things were going to be very quiet around here now. She was going to miss the additional activity. She felt energized with all the company.
"My mother might not need me for another two weeks, but my father does." Sarah replied.
"Nonsense, fathers don't care whether or not their daughters are at home." she argued.
"Maybe in most cases you would be right ma'am. I know my sisters can drive my father crazy. He calls them the three most silliest girls in the country, but my father and I have a special relationship. I'm his little girl. I'm the one who helps to keep him sane." smiled Sarah.
"I'm going to miss our conversations Ms Mackenzie. I hope you will come and visit again soon in the near future." sighed Lady Catherine in resignation.
"I would enjoy that ma'am. You have been an excellent host. It was very kind of you to open up your home to Maria and me and entertain us during our visit." replied Sarah as she offered some kind platitudes. She knew the old woman was lonely.
It might be one of the reasons she talked so much, she had so much to say, but no one to say it to. Besides she didn't have to invite her to her home twice a week. She didn't know her. She had been very generous to open up her home so often to her.
"It was nice of you to put up with my nephew while he was here. He can be quite morose at time. He seemed to enjoy your company though. I think it was one of the reasons he stayed on here for an additional two weeks." sighed Lady Catherine. She was going to miss Darcy.
"I'm quite surprise at that Ma'am. We seem to disagree a lot. Just last week before he left we had big disagreement." sighed Sarah wondering why she was telling her this. It wasn't a disagreement, it really was a fight.
"What were you fighting about Ms Mackenzie?" she asked.
"Nothing really Ma'am. I was angry with him about something he did a few months ago. It was miscommunication mostly ... he thought one thing, I thought it was something else. It dealt with some issues that occurred in Hertfordshire before he left.
He helped resolved some of the misconceptions I had and I did the same for him. I'm still unhappy with him for what he did, but I'm not angry with him anymore. I think he's just disappointed with me right now. I don't know if we will ever see each other again." sighed Sarah.
"I hope that's not true Ms Mackenzie. I hope that won't keep you from visiting again. I have enjoyed having you here." replied Lady Catherine as she tried to reassure Sarah.