CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Rekindled

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Ellie lay in bed, panting, sweat breaking out fresh from her temples and neck. She felt her chest burning as usual, her mind all boggled up like it had just been shaken to it's core. Vera and Angelica sat by her, but her eyes opened and looked to the the other side. She saw an empty chair.

She shut them again, feeling the same dread crawl up. The darkness still lingered at the corners of her eyes, and sometimes she heard voices, of different people, some of them from so far back in her life that she couldn't even recognise them. There was one sound that stayed constant and undeterred, and it came in through the window.

The bells - feeble, but relentless.

Shadows passed in front of her eyes, and she recognised them clearly. She recognised the large, wrinkled forehead, recognised the black hair, recognised the malicious eyes. Felt the grip around her neck tightening, heard the same words in her ears. It happened several times a day. David came and left, but every time he did, she could feel him from miles away, like a dark aura that crawled out from under her bed or leapt down from the ceiling fan.

He came and went, but Joel was nowhere to be found.

She didn't call him, just waited for him to show up. She didn't want him to know that she needed him to protect her. She just wanted him to be there.

Once in a while, she heard familiar voices that she could place in her mind: Vera, Angelica, Maria, Johnny.

All of them said to her, 'He's coming, Ellie. He's on his way.'

But he never did. A small part of her mind that wasn't drowned in delirium still spoke, conscious and coherent. She saw it taking form; this part of her mind. The rational, fearless part, walking out from the ever present darkness, chasing it away whenever it appeared.

It was her.

The same black hair pulled into a ponytail, the denim jacket, the beautiful smile. The silver pendant. She was well, clean, the way she had been when she had come to visit Ellie at school after six months of going AWOL. No blood stains, no bite marks.

She sat by her on her bed, looked at her with a carefree smirk. 'You let this fever stop you?' she asked, raising her eyebrows.

Ellie looked at her weakly, unable to move her lips. Even when she opened her mouth, her voice was nowhere to be found. Finally, in a cracked, hoarse voice, she uttered, 'What do you mean?'

Riley rolled her eyes, smiling. 'Don't tell me it hasn't crossed your mind, Ellie.'

'What?' Ellie said, her head pounding, her breath ragged.

'Well,' Riley shrugged, casually. 'You always were kinda numb in the head.' She bent forward, looking into her eyes, speaking like Ellie were deaf or retarded. 'I think Joel's in trouble!'

Ellie said nothing, her mind still teetering at the edge of falsehood and reality.

'You really think he wouldn't come to see you in two days when you're sick?' Riley asked. 'Joel? Really?'

'I told him to stay away,' Ellie mumbled. 'Riley, please go away. You're not helping.'

'He wouldn't care. He knows how stupid you are,' Riley said, standing up. She turned around and walked towards the window, glanced back in the middle, saying, 'No matter how much you deny it, you still need him.'

She disappeared into the snow outside, but the knowing smile lingered in her mind.

Ellie was all alone again, except for the patches of darkness in front of her eyes, her reeling mind. She saw faint figures of Vera and Angelica by her, felt a hand clutching hers on the bed.

She felt someone pulling her sleeve back, and a sharp pain in her arm for a second, followed by a rub. Somebody held her head up, put a bitter tasting thing in her mouth and forced her to swallow it.

'One more dose and she should be fine,' voices spoke from the void.

She felt a numbness spread through her body, and saw the darkness clawing its way into her field of vision, covering it, and soon it had engulfed her.

She fell quiet, her breathing downed.

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'Fuck,' Maria muttered as she sat at the engineers table, her eyes on the map in front of her.

'We'll find them soon, Maria,' Geoff encouraged from the side, and the others nodded in agreement. They spoke positive things, saying that the three were tough, and two three days out there in the snow was like nothing to them. That they would come back in one piece.

She looked at the red line and cross marks on the map, which noted the path they had probably followed to get to the truck. From that point onwards, there was a diverging of possibilities, as to the areas they might have wandered off to. They ruled some of them out, and now had only five possible routes that anybody could take to come back to the town.

'With all the snow fall,' Monroe explained, pointing at two of the paths. 'These two are probably cut off now. That leaves us three ways.'

Maria nodded immediately, almost in desperation. 'Let's go,' she said, getting up. 'Get the horses and weapons. We'll find them by afternoon.'

'Maria,' Geoff said softly, his hand on her shoulder. 'The people need you here.'

She gave him a cold glance, but slowly bent as she realised that it was true. She was responsible for everything in the town, the face behind all the activities. She couldn't abandon her post for hours, especially since even Tommy wasn't around to fill it.

'They only trust you,' Geoff continued, as she sat back down, pressing her closed fists against her forehead. 'You're our hope. You gotta stay.'

'I am, aren't I?' she snapped, annoyed. She looked around the table, at the concerned, speechless faces that glanced at her.

'I'll lead the Search team,' Geoff said. 'I'll take six others with me. We'll return before night fall.'

He turned and walked towards the door, as the usual members of the Search efforts got up and followed him.

'Geoff,' Maria called after him. He halted and looked back at her questioningly.

'Return with my husband,' she said plainly, her voice deep, ominous and laced with malcontent.

Her tone and her eyes sent a chill down Geoff's spine. He nodded, and set off immediately. Vera walked in as they left, stood by Maria, resting her hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

'Ellie?' Maria simply asked, looking halfway back at her.

'Angelica is with her,' Vera said. She sat down on the table beside her, resting her elbows on her knees, facing the open door. She saw the men and women getting onto their horses, Geoff giving them instructions, and all of them setting off.

'I swear to God,' Maria said, her eyes on the red crosses and lines on the map, 'If they don't return by New Year's, I'll gut them three.'

Vera gave a wry smile, as her eyes scanned the white capped mountains in the background of the wall and the forest. She saw the grey sky, the drifting clouds.

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'Ellie.'

Lights were shining in and out of existence, yellow, white, red. They blinked like stars and street lamps, gave out heat.

'Wake the fuck up, Ellie.'

She slowly opened her eyes and saw the dank ceiling, the turning fan. The darkness still lingered, although it seemed to have decreased a little bit. Her mind was still in tangles, and the headache was now an annoying prick in her eyebrows.

She looked to the door, and saw black shadows and tentacles dancing, heard the bells ringing from the window.

'Now get up,' she heard Riley again. She looked to her side, and found her, standing by her bed, bending down to look at her. As usual, she was bright, clean. She was keeping the darkness at the door away.

Ellie slowly sat up in her bed, pressing her hand against her forehead. She saw Angelica asleep on the chair beside her.

'We gotta get to Joel,' Riley almost whispered, motioning her to move quickly and quietly.

Ellie tiptoed out of bed, and as soon as her toes touched the cold floor, she shuddered. She walked to the coat hanger and grabbed her sweater, coat and muffler. She discreetly slipped gloves onto her fingers. Riley was waiting outside in the hallway, her face bright, speaking to her in hushed tones.

'I heard them talking,' she said to her. 'Apparently Joel, Tommy and Kenda got lost somewhere and didn't return. They heard an explosion in the forest or something.'

Dread engulfed Ellie again, but she put it at bay and didn't let it conquer her mind. She looked back at Angelica, and on the table saw a capped syringe filled with medicine, and a pill on a coaster.

'What're you doing?' Riley whispered aloud. 'You don't need those, you're fine! Let's go!'

Ellie slowly took the two in her hand and placed them in her pocket. Her head was still reeling, and her body still shuddered once in a while, but she wasn't completely out. She knew Riley wasn't real. She knew she was just a personification of her mind, a figment of her imagination.

She took a silent breath and followed her down the stairway, saw the darkness always lingering at the corner of her eyes, like it was following her, waiting for a chance to pounce.

Ellie took the 9mm and fifteen bullets from the drawer downstairs, and pulled her backpack on with the bow and arrow.

'Vera's not here,' Riley said to her, as she walked to the door and stood by it, observing her glancing around. 'She went to the dam. She won't be back for two hours, come on!'

Ellie opened the front door, and a cold wind gnawed at her cheeks. She pulled the muffler higher and walked out, closing the door behind her.

'Vera and Angelica were talking,' Riley explained, as she followed Ellie into the empty, grey street. Snow fell from the sky, but it was subtle, the flakes barely danced with the wind.

'How do you know all that?' Ellie asked, as they both made their way down the street, taking the back route to the stables, from where they could easily access the back gate of the dam.

'I'm more attentive than you, so duh,' Riley rolled her eyes. 'You were busy rolling around in bed.'

Ellie felt a chill pass down her spine. She watched with wary fascination as Riley walked ahead of her, wearing the exact same clothes she had seen her in, the last time. Her face was clean, and her voice was loud and clear. She was radiant, like she had candles in her body, and they were making her glow from the inside.

She felt the grip around her heart tightening as she realised what was going on. It was pulling her into this charade, into this part of her mind that desperately wanted Riley to come back. It was her guilt, her sorrow, her unfulfilled wishes coming to life in front of her. For a few minutes, she felt like giving in to this beautiful hallucination, giving in to this blissful fallacy.

She could still feel the darkness behind her, following, lugging along.

'Look at that,' Riley said, as they jumped over the stable fencing and entered the snow covered ground. Ellie looked up, and saw lights, hundreds of them - golden, blue, red and orange. They were studded on a wire, and spewing across poles all over the ground to make a ceiling of twinkles. She saw gnomes in the garden, and ribbons hanging from the poles. More lights waited on a table, to be put into their place.

'Remember Angelica telling us about New Year's in the town?' Riley asked, glancing back at Ellie, her eyes reflecting all the lights. 'Wow, I can't wait. When they're done, I bet it'll look even better.'

Ellie spared no minute to linger and take in the marvels, just continued on the path, crossing the empty ground and jumping over the fence on the other side.

She unbound Pony from the stables, and fed it an apple. Riley stroked it's neck, fascinated. 'Man, remember when Winston taught you how to ride?' she asked, as she got onto the horse, running her hands through its soft hair. 'I fell so many times. My butt nearly cracked. I don't know how you were so good on the first try, though. Usually you suck at everything.'

Ellie said nothing, simply climbed onto the horses back, and pulled it's reins to send it into a canter. Riley giggled behind her, throwing her hands into the air as the horse went faster, swifter, and with a leap that seemed to get them to the sky, went over the fences and onto the snow covered path towards the back gate of the dam.

She pulled the reins hard once, because her head was suddenly twisting, like it had been on a roller coaster. As the horse came to a halt, she pressed her stomach, feeling the nausea building up, her head throbbing and swirling.

'This is nothing, Ellie!' she heard Riley from behind her, her hands on her shoulders. 'You'll be okay. Just go a little slower.'

Ellie got off the horse, still holding its reins. She let go of them, rushed to a nearby rock and threw herself on it, feeling the nausea rising, coming onto her throat.

She threw up several times, and then drank water from her canteen. Riley was waiting for her on the horse, watching her, concerned.

'Better now?' she asked her, her hand running up and down Pony's neck.

Ellie knew she shouldn't entertain this, shouldn't talk to her. To it. But she looked at her, and nodded.

'Yeah,' she mumbled, walking back to the horse, climbing onto it as Riley scooted back. She took a deep breath, her eyes on the snow covered terrain in front of her, her head still dizzy.

Joel's eyes flashed in her head, his voice. She felt her mind coming to a halt, her breath slowing, her resolve strengthening. She knew Joel could handle himself, but there was something in her that forced her to go, to save him even though he didn't need saving. She'd gotten all the time she needed, now all she wanted was to go to him and punch him, hit him and hurt him. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she thought of him.

With a sniff and a deep, shaky breath, she muttered, 'he's gonna pay for this,' and sent her horse into a dash again.