Swayzee Sweetheart, i see where you're coming from. i would also never be able to turn my back on my family but i'm glad you still decided to stick with the story!

SincerelyYourSecret, thank youu! and me too, i love that bit aaha.

okay, i am incredibly sorry for the long wait! i've just been really stressed due to school and it's only the 6th or something week. hELP. i'm beyond stressed right now but i couldnt make you guys wait any longer.

im okay with this chapter, hope you guys are too.

enjoy!

After his breakdown, at around 7am, he went back into James' room and even though he wasn't allowed, he climbed into James' bed and slept next to him. He gently wrapped his arm around James' torso, making sure not to injure him in any way and went to sleep. In a matter of seconds he fell into a bitter slumber.

Kendall woke up, his neck hurting from the position it was in. His head wasn't on James' shoulder but it wasn't on the pillow either. He was in a very awkward position. He slowly opened his eyes to find a pair of hazel ones looking right back at him. Kendall's eyes widened.

"Hey, Eyebrows." James' voice was scratchy and dry.

Kendall shot out of the bed.

"You're alive." He breathed, the tears instantly rolling down his cheeks.

James attempted a weak smile, not that Kendall could see it that well, and said "of course, you didn't think you were getting rid me that easily did you?"

Kendall felt relief wash over him, relief he didn't think he would ever feel, and he felt his heart start to beat normally once again. Since he saw James in the accident he died inside, didn't even feel his own heart beating but now, seeing James looking at him, he was finally able to breathe.

"You look like shit." James stated. "Missed me?"

Kendall blinked back the tears, not that it helped; they still streamed down his face. He bit his lip and nodded.

"More than you know." He whispered.

The amusement and laughter was gone from James' eyes and instead replaced with regret and sorrow.

"Hey," James said softly "I'm sorry."

Kendall shook his head and took a seat on his bed. He grabbed James' hand.

"It's not your fault, it's mine." Kendall said quietly.

"Stop, no it's not. It was mine, all mine. I wasn't focused."

"Yeah, because of me!"

James attempted to shake his head. "Stop beating yourself up. It's not your fault."

Kendall looked into his eyes and felt his heart beat rapidly in his chest when he remembered last night.

"Did you hear what I said last night?" Kendall asked quietly.

James opened his mouth when a doctor walked in. Kendall immediately let go of James' hand and jumped all the way to the other end of the room.

She looked at her patient and frowned. "James, I told you you aren't allowed to speak."

"Is he going to be okay?" Kendall asked, wiping his tears away.

"He's been in and out of consciousness all day yesterday and this morning so it's tough to say." She answered gently. "We still have to run a few more tests, but your friend here got lucky, very lucky."

"What do you mean?"

"People usually take months, years even to recover from a coma and James did it in less than a week." The doctor smiled. "You've got a lot of people who love you."

"He sure does." The nurse who had given Kendall a little pep talk the night before said.

They saw James try to smile. "Hey, Ryan."

"Take it easy, buddy." The nurse—Ryan smirked.

"You're my nurse?"

"I wasn't supposed to be but your parents insisted."

The doctor looked at Ryan and Kendall. "Let him get some rest okay, and James," she looked at him "I'll be back to check up on you."

James nodded, or tried too but the neck brace made it hard. "Yeah, got it, doc."

She gently touched his arm before leaving the room.

"So, I see you poured your heart out to him." Ryan smirked, wiggling his eyebrows at Kendall.

The blonde turned absolutely scarlet. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hey, can you call Logan and tell him I'm gonna be okay?" James asked Ryan and when he saw the nurse raise his eyebrows he added "Kendall and I need to talk."

Ryan winked at Kendall before leaving the room.

"So, you love me." James said, getting right down to the point.

Kendall could already feel his sweat glands starting to work. His hands were clammy and cold. His heart was beating so fast in his chest he was afraid it would just magically jump out.

"Uh, yeah." Kendall laughed nervously. "I might have said that."

He was too terrified to sit but he also couldn't bring his legs to move. He wanted to run, to bolt the fuck out of James' room but he was completely frozen.

"Did you mean it?" James asked, his voice cracking just slightly.

Kendall couldn't see much of James' face but he could still see his eyes and he could tell James was just as terrified as he was. James had never been in a serious relationship and it was obvious he wasn't exactly ready for it. Kendall could tell James was scared to bring his walls down. The blonde couldn't help but smile. He finally let out a breath and was able to move. He took a seat at the edge of James' bed and grabbed the brunette's hand. He intertwined their fingers together and felt James squeeze. He stared down at their linked hands and gently thumbed over James' knuckles.

"Of course I meant it." Kendall whispered, looking into James' eyes. "I'm also over the whole Alex thing, so you don't have to hate me for that."

James chuckled softly. "You think we can make it work?" He asked hopefully.

Kendall nodded. "I'm done being a jealous asshole and as long as you care about me, it will be fine."

The blonde could tell James was trying hard not to smile but he gave up and Kendall saw his eyes crinkle.

"Hey, I gotta make you leave." Ryan said from the door. "James needs his rest."

Kendall nodded and gave James' forehead, softly whispering "get better soon."

Just as they got out of the room, the entire group came running down the hall, even Logan.

"Ryan?" Alex shrieked, tackling the nurse with a hug.

Ryan grinned and hugged her tightly. "I missed you too."

Logan started to walk into the room but Ryan let go of Alex and gently grabbed Logan's arm.

"He needs his rest."

"Are you kidding me?" Logan snapped. "I just found out he's alive and you're not gonna let me see him?"

"Logan, he was always alive." Ryan answered patiently.

Logan shrugged. "I'm gonna go see him."

The nurse sighed in defeat. "Fine, but only you're allowed. No one else."

Logan's entire face lit up. "Thanks man!" He gave Ryan a quick hug and ran into James' room.

"You ain't crippled anymore?" James teased once he spotted his best friend.

The second Logan laid eyes on James' he felt tears prick. James noticed and rolled his eyes.

"Don't go all pussy on me now." James said.

Logan laughed, taking a seat. "I almost lost you."

"Yeah, and Alex almost killed you so we're even."

Logan wiped the tiny tears away. "We can't do this anymore, James."

"I know you can't. You have Carlos and Harvard but I don't have a future besides racing."

Logan shook his head. "There's no fucking way you are racing again. Especially after this."

"Logan, are you serious?" James sighed.

"I want you alive long enough to be my kid's godfather."

"Since when did you want kids?" James deadpanned.

Logan laughed. "Since Carlos, plus your parents are never letting you out of their sight again."

James rolled his eyes. "They can't do shit."

"That's what you think."

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, James' mind going back to the conversation he had with Kendall and Logan's mind going to James. He couldn't lose James, not after this. James is his best friend, his brother, his other half. James has always been there for him, through thick and thin, through all the bullshit they had to endure. Looking at his best friend and seeing him in this condition tears him apart. He can't go through it again.

"James," Logan whispered.

James looked at him, dreading the worst. He knows what's going to come out of Logan's mouth and he doesn't want to hear it.

"You can't do this anymore. I can't lose you."

"You don't need me anymore." James said softly. "You have Carlos now."

The shorter boy shook his head. "Carlos may mean the world to me but that doesn't mean you mean any less. Fuck, James. You're my brother. It was always us against the world."

James wanted to run his hands through his hair but his arms were in casts. He sighed heavily and looked at his best friend. Logan looked like absolute shit, like he hadn't slept in days. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was all over the place. James hadn't seen him look like this since, well, ever.

"It used to be us against the world," James said quietly "now, it's you and Carlos against the world."

"Fucking stop!" Logan snapped. "Stop bringing Carlos into this. He has nothing to do with anything. You are not racing again!"

"You can't boss me around." James said flatly.

"Like Kendall once said, I'm the one who wears the pants in this relationship, not you." Logan grinned, winking at his best friend.

"I'll think about it." James frowned stubbornly.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Don't be a little girl."

"You're being a little girl!" James countered. "This is what happens when you race. This is the lifestyle we chose, remember."

"Yeah, and we can choose to get out of it. I mean, look at Ryan. He's never been happier."

"Racing makes me happy."

"But Kendall makes you happier, and at least with him you're not getting killed."

"You're kidding right?" James asked dryly. "I'm in here because of his brother."

"Who Jett killed." Logan casually slipped out.

James' eyes widened. "For real?"

Logan nodded.

"Man, I miss all the good shit!"

Logan burst out laughing. "You're such a little shit."

"I learn from the best." James smirked.

They spent the rest of the day and night sitting in James room, just the two of them and fighting about James' future. Ryan tried to get Logan out of the room but he refused to move and he refused to let anyone else in. Carlos and Kendall went out during the day but came back to the hospital when night time came. When they saw James and Logan were still talking they waited in the waiting room for them, finally having some alone time themselves. Everything had been so hectic and Carlos was always stuck to Logan that Kendall and Carlos hadn't had any bro on bro time. They stayed up all night as well, catching up and making that thin line between them stronger than ever before. Alex and Ryan caught up while Marc and Trevor went back home, telling everyone they would be back the next day.

"You can be an engineer!" Logan exclaimed.

James snorted. "Yeah right. I'm not going to college."

Logan sighed in exasperation. "Stop being a dick."

The taller brunette rolled his eyes. "Then leave."

"Just promise you'll think about it." Logan said.

"About being an engineer? That's not happening."

"No, just about leaving the racing scene, okay?"

"Logan-" James started to say.

The pale boy slowly shook his head, his voice taking a much quieter and softer tone. "Just, please, whatever you do, don't go back to this racing bullshit."

James looked at his best friend and sighed. "Fine."

Logan managed a weak smile. "Thanks."

"Yeah, whatever. Go to sleep, it's fucking 2am and you're ruining my beauty sleep."

Logan laughed and playfully (and very gently) punched James in the arm.

"Sleep tight, sleeping beauty." Logan teased, curling up on the uncomfortable chair and closing his eyes.

"You too, ugly beast." James grinned.

Logan shook his head but he was finally able to get some real sleep since he found out James had gone into a coma. Knowing that James was thinking about leaving the racing scene gave him peace and he fell asleep much faster than he thought he would.

That night he was able to sleep better than he had in months.

i couldnt stop myself from the jagan moments im sorry.

we just havent seen a lot of interaction between the two friends lately.

spring break starts next week so, i'm going to try incredibly hard to wrap this story up before my week is over.