Something snapped inside Sam just then. "She did what!?" He shouted. "How did this happen? Where is she? IS SHE OKAY!?" Not even waiting for Embry to answer he pushed past him out of the garage. He phased and made his way toward the Clearwater home.
Embry stood there dumbfounded. Emily ran in to see what all the yelling was about, but by that point Sam was long gone. "Embry? Where's Sam? What happened?" Emily asked. She saw his expression and added, "Are you okay?"
Embry shook his head. "I obviously made a mistake. Sam will be back later Em… We have to take care of some things. With that walked out the door, pulled off his shorts and tied them to his leg, and phased running off in the direction of the Clearwater home.
Leah was asleep in her own bed for what felt like months. She no longer had to be the Cullens' lapdog because the wolves couldn't mess with an imprint. She hadn't slept decently in a long time. Probably since she became a wolf.
As Sam approached the Clearwater home, her scent grew stronger, fresher. She was there. He phased back and opened the door, barging right in. Embry wasn't too far behind, as he was slightly smaller than his former alpha which gave him a slight speed advantage. He phased back and pulled on his shorts following Sam. "Sam wait! Stop being rash! We should all talk about this when you're calm!"
Sam continued to ignore Embry and bounded up the steps to Leah's room. He threw open the door and stalked into her room in all his naked glory. He felt a huge wave of relief wash over him when he saw that she was there in one piece. Leah stared at him. She had been woken up by Embry's shouting and Sam's house-shaking stomps. "What are you doing here Uley!? And where are your clothes..?"
Embry made it to the room at that moment. Sam took Leah in his arms and held her to his chest. Leah blinked as everything connected in her head. "Embry! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone! Taking advantage of my trust is low! Even for one of you jerks!" She shouted, wiggling out of Sam's arms and falling back onto her bed. "Sam go put some clothes on and leave me alone! This isn't your business anymore. I'm just fine it was a moment of weakness and it won't happen again!" Her frame started to shake as she continued on her little tirade.
Sam walked to Seth's room and grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and put them on. Quickly he made his way back to Leah's room and shut the door. He sat down on her bed beside her and looked at him with wide, sympathetic eyes. "No, Leah. We obviously have to talk about this because trying to kill yourself is not okay." He spoke softly, having calmed down considerably since he knew his Lee-lee was okay. Wait, did he just call her his Lee-lee? He shook his head slightly and looked at her. "What could possibly be so wrong with your life that you'd have to end it? Instead of talking to those who love you and trying to get through it?"
Leah sat up during Sam's speech and sighed. "Because I don't have anyone Sam… I lost you. I lost Emily. I lost my Dad. My mother is too busy with Charlie, with Emily's wedding, to listen to me. Jake is now engrossed in the demon spawn. The rest of the guys hate me, and I deserve it. I was so mean to everyone, but I was just heartbroken. Nobody would try to see why I was acting the way I was. They knew I was a good person once. They knew I lost you. So they assumed I was trying to make them feel miserable. But, I was terrified of becoming close to someone again after you. Completely, and utterly terrified. So I pushed them all away, and it worked. They stamped the bitch label on me, didn't filter anything they threw my way. Every insult added up. I pretended it didn't hurt, but it did. I lashed back so nobody would know my weakness."
Embry decided at this point it was best for him to just sneak out at this point. This was between Sam and Leah now. He'd get his ass chewed out later. He opened the door silently and walked outside. Meanwhile, Sam looked at Leah's pain-filled face. He knew she'd been in a lot of pain, but he also knew that he would be the last person she would ever want to talk about it with. Now, more than ever, he completely despised himself.
"Oh Lee," Sam whispered as he rested his hand on hers softly. "You don't know how many times I wanted to talk to you. I knew you wouldn't want to hear it because of everything that happened. I've hated myself for what I've done to you. I know how much you've been hurting. It only strengthened the guilt I felt." He admitted.
Leah withdrew her hand from under his as quickly as it had been placed there. "But that's just it Sam. When I found out about imprinting I wasn't nearly as mad at you and Emily as I was before I knew about it. But no one tried to see how I was doing. I was still confused, that's why I thought about you and Emily a lot. But no, I was a bitch and I was just trying to torture the pack. Which wasn't true at all." She teared up and shook her head softly, biting them back. She wouldn't show weakness again. Especially not in front of Uley. "I wanted to talk to you, to Emily. I was afraid. I had said so many awful things to and about both of you before I knew about imprinting. I gathered from what you all said about me that you all hated me. It sure seemed like it, but I think now that we just clashed too much. So I stayed the same way I had been. I couldn't bear the thought of either telling me you hated me to my face." Leah looked down and picked at invisible lint on her bedspread.
Sam closed his eyes, completely heartbroken and overcome with guilt. Everything that Leah had been through could be traced back to his actions. He almost wished that he hadn't met her that night at Brad's party. It would have saved a girl who deserved so much happiness all of that pain. But when he truly thought of it he knew he couldn't. Sam loved every minute of their relationship. He couldn't picture a life without Lee-lee. He took a couple deep breaths, opened his eyes and looked at her. "Leah," he started, still not sure what he was going to say. "I never, ever hated you. Neither did Emily. She tried to fight off the imprint, you know that. She got the scars when she was telling me off for going after her so much. She even knew about imprinting then, but she thought I was the biggest of all jerks for not trying to fight it for you. I did Leah, believe me I did. I tried so hard. I couldn't hurt you, but there was nothing that could be done. No matter what I tried, it didn't work."
Leah bit her lip and started to speak over him. "I said I understand. I never said that it didn't hurt still. I just can't handle it. Especially not the imprint side of you gushing over how perfect it is. It makes me feel like a sack of crap. I wasn't good enough to be your chosen mate, but someone who isn't even Quileute was. I can't pass down the wolf gene because it's possible I can't even have children!" Her voice grew louder and louder as she continued on before her voice cracked.
Sam silently cursed himself. He was doing terrible at making her feel better. She needed to feel better. He decided it was best to just get the most upsetting part of their talk out of the way now while they both were emotional. Changing subject, he asked quietly, "So what pushed you over the edge to run to Canada like you did? To not tell anyone anything for two days? Seth was going crazy. If he wasn't in wolf form trying to get you to talk to him, he was threatening Jacob and me to find you or he'd have our heads."
Leah shook her head. "Jacob imprinted… I had started to fall for him. You can't be angry about that either. I know you never liked him but he was always there for me. We bonded when I joined his pack. It brought us even closer. Common heartbreak creates a unique bond. It was like he was the only one who understood me, even though our situations weren't exactly the same. I had decided to tell him that I was starting to have a thing for him. Age doesn't really apply to us wereshifters. Then Bella's pregnancy came to an end and he saw that thing for the first time and it was over. He succumbed to imprinting as well. The second time imprinting screwed me over. Figuring in my relationship with Brad as well… I decided that I'm just one of those people that isn't meant to be happy. God would undoubtedly take something else away that made me happy. I didn't want to spend my life as the old, hated, crazy catlady down the street. Seth has such a strong support system with all you guys, so I justified that he'd eventually be okay. Eventually, probably even better off without a sister like me."
Her voice choked off and she ended it there, not trying to go on. She bit her tongue hard as tears started to fall down her face. Sam pulled her into his arms. He couldn't not try to comfort her, even if it was possibly a threat to his manlihood to touch her. He rubbed her back. "Please don't try to fight it. I know you've kept it in this whole time because that's who you are. You never liked to burden anyone with your problems unless you knew for certain that they wanted to help and be there for you. From what you've said you haven't felt that way about anyone in a long time, except for your brother and Jake for a short time. You wouldn't want to put too much on either of them though, because they're both still kids. Just let it out Leah. It's not healthy to hold it in. I wish you'd value yourself more than you do. Your problems matter just as much as anyone else's." He continued to rub soft circles in her back.
Leah knew this was wrong but right now she didn't care. She had wished for this for a long time. To be in his arms again. It didn't even have to be romantic, much like this. Just friendly. He was always so good to her. She missed the friend she had in him. She wrapped her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. She cried, and cried, until she couldn't cry anymore. Her head was pounding and her breathing came out in rapid sniffles.
Sam held her, glad she hadn't tried to push him away. He thought a good cry was just what Leah needed. She never was a public crier. Sam was sure that she cried on her own a few times, which helped her to a certain degree. She needed to talk about it though. He was more than happy that she was able to open up to him of all people. He was glad to be able to help. A growing part of him seemed to be elated that it was he who she felt that she had this bond with. That part of him became more than a little angered when the notion that it could have been someone else holding Leah right now.
Leah wiped the tears off her soaked face and laughed softly at the sight of his pitifully soaked shoulder and chest. "I'm really sorry Sam. That's more than a little gross." She rubbed her forehead, God that really hurt. It was also a little bit warm to the touch of her fingers. She sighed. That was enough weakness for one day. "So you know the drill right Uley? Tell anyone that happened, and you just might not be able to have kids." Leah bit her lip when that threat didn't come out seriously, but jokingly. This felt a little too much like the old days for her comfort zone.
Sam chuckled. That wasn't the bitter woman he'd made of Leah. That was his Lee-lee. Hearing them, he realized just how much he missed her real laugh and her jokes. He looked at her, really looked at her. She was starting to grow her hair out again, since she'd been part of Jacob's pack. She looked beautiful either way, but Sam preferred her long, raven hair to the cut she was forced to take upon phasing. He wondered if she'd found that there was a certain point where shagginess in wolf form got unbearable, or if she just hadn't gotten around to cutting it. Sam looked at her again, taken aback once more. Nobody could ever pull of a red, puffy, I-just-got-done-crying face better than Leah Clearwater. It didn't distort her beauty in the slightest, though he preferred her to not be upset she was heartbreakingly beautiful when she was crying.
Sam found himself leaning closer and closer to Leah's face. Somewhere deep inside him he felt a voice screaming at him that he was doing something wrong. He ignored it. Right now he needed this. It just felt right. He closed the distance and kissed Leah like nothing in these past few years had ever happened. Leah sat completely rigid, before she melted into him. Her conscience wasted no time in kicking in. She abruptly pulled away. "Sam! What was that!? Your imprinted!" She screamed in his face. "Was all this just a ploy to hurt me more!?" Sam blinked, slowly coming back to his senses.
"Oh. God."