Author's Notes: The serious AU begins this chapter. Sorry for not updating earlier, my computer short-circuited and today was the first chance I got to type.

Calculated Risks

A flash of bright red light.

A scream.

Sirius' face, frozen in horror and shock as the spell hit him squarely in the chest.

Arriella jerked up in bed, panting harshly. A grim smile flitted across her face. So it had begun.

The book they had used had been particularly detailed in the description of the Legilimency bond. Once a permanent connection had been established, her mind would come to see the link as a part of it. In the case of death, the connection would break, tearing off a piece of her mind in the process and leaving behind a hole – the previous location of the bond – stretching into an abyss.

There was a very good reason why the Ministry had outlawed Legilimency bonds. During the height of the war against Grindelwald, his most fanatical supporters would seek out members of the opposition, slip Amorentia into their drinks, then take advantage of the situation to force a bonding. After that, the supporter would commit suicide, and in the process spiritually damage the victim.

As advanced as magical healing was, restoring a lost piece of the mind or mending it was impossible. A lesser wizard would have followed suit, unable to handle the omnipresent echoing emptiness. A wizard with stronger willpower would be permanently broken. Either way, a victory for Grindelwald.

Arriella could now say that she knew how the hapless victims felt first-hand. Every ime she lowered her guard – such as the time she was sleeping – her mind would instinctively reach out, trying to find something that simply was not there. Occlumency had no effect either, as the bond was seen as part of herself, and the shields were only meant to block outside mental influences.

How do you stop yourself from searching for something that had ceased to exist?

In a way, the loss acted like a mental disease, dragging any survivor closer and closer to the brink of insanity. Closer… and closer… probing at the perfectly round gap, seeking… hoping… maybe if she stretched a little further, it was sure to be there…

Arriella took a deep breath, wrenching herself back. No point dwelling on her condition and potentially accelerating her own descent into madness. First, she had to see Voldemort dead, so that Harry could be safe. Then, after that –

She was under no illusions as to what would happen after Voldemort's defeat. With the loss of her only goal in life, there would be nothing holding her back. Death was preferable to incurable insanity, after all. She could only hope that she would die in battle, and not suicide.

The longest anyone had ever lasted, as recorded in history, was five years. Five years of utter torture. That wizard became one of the chief fighters in the war against Grindelwald, and he was watching from afar when Dumbledore finally brought the other wizard down. He barely had enough time to stab a knife into his heart – forget shame, there was no time to feel ashamed of his actions, when he knew it was a choice between death and spending the rest of his life in the long-term ward of St. Mungo's – before his tenacious grasp on sanity shattered.

Arriella shuddered in sympathy, getting up from the bed. Perhaps she ought to start writing her will. Yeah, and maybe Voldemort would suddenly drop dead tomorrow.

~*~*~*~*~*

What else can you do, when you know that your days are numbered?

"I'm not going to sit here and wait," Arriella sighed. Remus, sitting opposite her at the kitchen table in his cottage, looked equally haggard with his bloodshot eyes and unshaven face.

"What do you want to do?" Remus asked at length.

Arriella gave him a searching look. "You're willing to go along with any plan?"

Remus blinked tiredly. "What's the worst your plan can do? We'll soon be dead anyway."

"Dead or insane," she corrected absent-mindedly.

"Big difference," shot back Remus sarcastically.

Arriella stared. "Right," she murmured, tapping her fingers on the table, "I've got an idea…"

~*~*~*~*~*

"Forget what I just said," Remus informed her tartly after she sketched out her idea, "you're already insane."

Arriella shrugged unconcernedly. "You game?" Her eyes sparkled.

A small smirk slowly crept up the side of Remus' mouth. "Yeah. Why not?"

It would be a plan worthy of the Marauders.

~*~*~*~*~*

Days passed by in a blur. With Voldemort's resurrection coming to light, the Wizarding World at large was panicking. Fudge had all but begged Dumbledore to be the leader of the faction against Voldemort, a post Dumbledore had accepted. The Order of the Phoenix also had a much easier job of recruiting new members.

Arriella wandered about the cottage in a daze – apparently Grimmauld Place was "compromised", or so Dumbledore said, after Sirius' death. If Sirius had not worded his will carefully, the house would have gone to Narcissa, his closest relation who was not a criminal. Dumbledore mentioned that he would check if Harry was the new owner, but she had no idea how he planned on doing so, especially when he kept insisting that all Order members were to stay away from Harry, just like the previous year.

Remus fared slightly better than Arriella, due to his long-time experience with controlling his mind. To him, everything was about control. Not biting anyone during the full moon. Not letting anyone – besides his dormmates – close enough to discover his 'furry little problem'. Not acting on his feelings, the few times he had been attracted to a girl, for fear of her rejection the moment his secret came to light.

Dumbledore put Remus back on light duty, mistaking both their demeanors as grief for one of their best friends. Neither of them bothered to correct his misconception. It was better off that no one else knew, so as to minimise the risk of word getting to the Death Eaters. Merlin knew what would happen to the two of them. Their allies would look at them with pity, and deem them no longer trustworthy – who would entrust a person who was not totally sane with their lives? Their enemies would have a field day, believing them to be easy targets.

No, it was better off that no one knew about their condition.

~*~*~*~*~*

"Ah, can I speak to you for a moment?"

Arriella turned around in surprise at the voice. She was reporting in at the new Headquarters – now situated in the Burrow – after her guard shift. Dumbledore had finally allowed her to resume her daily duties after nearly a month, and she could not complain. Anything was better than sitting around with nothing to do.

"Oh, hey, Tonks," she greeted. "Sure, what's up?"

Tonks glanced nervously around the garden before tugging at her arm. "In private, please?" she asked.

Arriella followed her to a meadow not far from the Burrow. Tonks twisted her hands nervously, her hair reverting to its original black colour as she queried, "Are you and Remus together?"

"What?" Arriella stared at her in shock. Of all the questions – do you still miss Sirius, are you all right, how has your guard shift went - she did not expect that one.

Tonks gazed back at her earnestly. "Are you?" she pressed.

A shake of her head was all the answer Arriella needed to give.

Tonks grinned brightly, her hair shifting to a bright bubblegum pink. "Thank you!" she chirped, dashing off, leaving behind a rather bemused Arriella.

Did Tonks… just ask me for permission to pursue Remus in a relationship?

She paused. Better to get to the bottom of that. Tonks did not deserve false hope, and Remus might not be the best man for her, seeing that he was planning on putting his life in danger.

'Hey Remus, do you like Tonks?'

There was much spluttering from the other end of the connection. 'What brought that on?' Remus asked.

'Tonks asked,' she sighed.

'Tell her no,' he answered quickly. Too quickly, in fact.

Arriella blanched.

Great, complications. On the one hand, she had nothing against either Remus or Tonks dating. On the other hand, Remus was shortly about to throw his life away in the hare-brained plan she proposed. It would not be fair to Tonks for her boyfriend – or even husband, should things progress – to die so soon on her.

'We'll deal with that when we come to it. Now, how good are you at brewing potions?'

~*~*~*~*~*

'I'm in position.' Arriella frowned. The Death Eater she was tailing was obviously either a new recruit or a lackey. He was not even making an effort to hide his affliation to Voldemort, when with every swish of his robes the sleeve flapped back slightly to show the tip of the Dark Mark on his forearm. Even if it was Knockturn Alley, he should have been more careful.

'Be careful,' Remus sent back. Arriella winced at the sound in his voice. Tonks had finally made her move a few days ago, and Remus had made vague references to his being a werewolf, then fled.

Arriella replied in the affirmative. She was already wearing several spells that masked her smell and the sound of her movements, as well as a Notice-Me-Not Charm on top of a Disillusionment Charm.

With a discreet tap of her wand – even if he felt it, it could be attributed to the wind – she left a marker on him, keyed to hone in on the connection Voldemort had with him via the Dark Mark. A nifty bit of spellwork developed from the concept of tracking mental bonds – also not quite legal, but she no longer cared. Any Death Eater he came into contact with would similarly be marked, and the spell would spread itself from there on.

'Mission accomplished.' Arriella stepped back, transformed into Skye, and flew off into the night sky while the oblivious Death Eater strode into one of the pubs in the Alley, no doubt to show off his new mark.

~*~*~*~*~*

"Dumbledore said he'll be bringing Harry in the next couple of days," remarked Remus.

Arriella glanced up at him, surprised that he would suddenly bring up a topic both of them knew well. Her eyes caught a flash of purple hair, and she suddenly understood. Remus was trying to avoid talking to Tonks, if not avoid her altogether. The upset look on Tonks' face every time she looked at him was painful to look at, especially when she went out of her way to cross paths with Remus.

'In any case, we're nearly ready to make our move,' she told him.

'So soon?' he asked in astonishment.

'It's now or never.' She gave the mental equivalent of a shrug.

Commence: Operation Kamikaze.