I've decided this will be the last chapter. I hadn't planned it that way, but the end of this chapter seems like a good place to end it.
The next morning when Harry got to the hospital he almost had a panic attack. Alex wasn't in his cot. He asked the on duty nurse who told him the mother was feeding him, which made Harry's heart start beating again. He went to Ruth's hospital room, camera in hand and found her cradling Alex, a soft smile on her face. Motherhood seemed to suit her. He opened the door and went in as she turned her radiance towards him. "Hi."
"You look beautiful," he said, kissing her hair. "Jo sends her best."
"I hope you didn't kill her when she told you I was in surgery."
"No I didn't," he said. "I wanted to, but I didn't."
Ruth smiled. "Do you want your daddy?" Ruth handed him over and Harry cooed over the newborn as Ruth relaxed and closed her eyes.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes," she said. "Just tired." She looked at Harry again, debating whether to tell him or not. She decided that she should. It was only fair. "Harry?"
"Yeah?" He looked up from their bundle of joy and smiled at her.
"I need to tell you something," she said heavily.
"Oh God, what is it?"
"He'll be it," Ruth said. "I can't have another child Harry."
"What are you talking about?"
"There were complications in the surgery," Ruth said. She tried to control herself and not cry. "Too much damage to my uterus. And fallopian tubes. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry," Harry said. "Why wasn't I told?"
"They can't give you my medical information," Harry said. "They could tell you about Alex, because he's yours."
"Are you upset?" Harry asked. "Of course you are, sorry. Do… did you want another baby?"
"Not particularly," Ruth said. "But when someone tells you you can't have something, you instantly want it." Harry smiled sadly and indulgently at her.
"I'm so sorry," he said. "Is there any hope?"
"No," she replied. "No chance. But I'm glad we have our Alex."
"I can't even imagine what you're thinking," Harry said.
"Sad and happy all at the same time. And weepy. I keep seeming to cry."
"That's normal anyway," Harry said. "New mothers often feel like that."
"Harry, give me the camera." He smiled and did as she asked. Ruth took a few dozen pictures of Harry with their newborn "He's perfect."
"I'm sorry," Harry said. "That there won't be any more."
"Promise me something," Ruth said urgently. "Promise me that you won't get bored of me. Or if you do, then you'll tell me."
"Children aren't the reason I love you," Harry said simply. "It doesn't matter to me. Even though I know it matters to you."
"Let me hold him," Ruth said, a grin on her face as she saw the rosy cheeks of her son. Harry handed him over, somewhat reluctantly. He liked how heavy and real Alex felt in his arms. Ruth kissed his forehead lovingly. She couldn't believe how much she loved her son already.
Ruth and Alex had been discharged from hospital, and had spent nearly a week at home. It was wonderful to spend time settling Alex in his new home. And he'd settled wonderfully well too. He always seemed to wake at three in the morning, but only for a feed. Otherwise he slept through the night, a very good baby.
One night Harry heard him start to whimper first and he got up to comfort him. "Hey little man," Harry said, cradling Alex gently as he kept fussing. "I know you need a feed. Come on, lets wake up mummy. I'm sure she'd be delighted," he added sarcastically. He carried Alex into their bedroom where his fussing made Ruth stir.
"Alex?"
"Sorry, he's hungry," Harry said passing her the baby. Ruth was still half asleep as Alex latched onto her hungrily.
"Mm," Ruth murmured, her head leaning back on the pillows. "He's gorgeous. Even at three a.m."
"He is," Harry agreed. He watched with awe at the two most important people in his life. Eventually he felt compelled to say the obvious. "I love you."
"You too," she said. "He's done."
"I'll put him back," Harry said. By the time he returned Alex was sleeping, and Ruth had a dreamy smile on her face. "The beds warm with you in it," Harry said, cuddling up to her.
She laughed lightly as he kissed her neck, holding her close. She was so warm and soft that he couldn't help his body's reaction to her. She froze when she felt his erection on her thigh. "Harry I can't," she said. "I'm still recovering from surgery, I can't have sex yet."
"My head knows that," Harry said. "Other parts of my body don't seem to care." Ruth laughed and kissed him again. "Go to sleep."
"I can't," she said. "I can't let you sleep in that condition."
"Ruth, don't worry," he said. "I'm fine, you don't have to… oh God." She smiled as her hands started to work over him. She moved down the bed and before Harry even realised what she planned to do, he felt her mouth close over him and he groaned. She was so good at this. Her tongue was bringing him so close and he couldn't help but push deeper into her mouth. She laughed, but kept going until he climaxed with a cry. She released him and rested her head on his stomach as she stroked his skin lightly.
"I don't deserve you," Harry said quietly.
"I know," she said, laughing lightly. She straightened up and lay next to him happily.
"It'll be a few weeks yet."
"As long as it takes for you to be healed," he said sincerely. Ruth kissed his cheek gently, as she turned over to sleep. Harry smiled at her, his heart filled with love.
In the morning Harry awoke first and could hear Alex beginning to stir. He got up quickly to leave Ruth to sleep for a few minutes more. With the result that when Ruth awoke she heard Harry talking to their boy over the baby monitor.
"Good morning my handsome boy. You're a little angel aren't you? Right, now I'm going to wake mummy in a bit so you can be fed, but first I'm going to change you and get you dressed, so she doesn't have to do it okay?" Ruth smiled at the monitor as Harry changed him and then waited for him to say something else. "There we are, all nice and clean. Okay, what do you want to wear today handsome? We have a nice green set from aunty Jo with all the trains on it. Does that sound good?" Alex gurgled which Harry took for a yes. Ruth kept listening as Harry dressed him, surprisingly quickly. "Shall we go and see mummy sweetheart? Come on." Ruth sat up and smiled when she saw both men in her life come into the bedroom.
"Hi handsome," Ruth said. "Both of you," she added as Harry gave him over. "I love listening to you with him," Ruth said. "You're such a softy."
"Don't tell anyone," Harry said. "I've spent years building my reputation as an iron hearted leader."
"Really? You never came across that way to me."
"That's because I didn't want to seem to harsh towards you," he said. "Not when I wanted to sleep with you."
"That was your first thought when you met me?"
"No, not my first thought," he said. "But one of them. It did briefly enter my mind what you would look like naked."
"I can't believe that," Ruth said, actually blushing.
"When did it occur to you that you wanted more than work colleagues?" Harry asked.
"I don't know when I first thought of it," she said. "I know that when I passed you the memory stick on the bus and you touched my hand I felt a little shock through my skin. That's when I knew I wanted you."
"Really?"
"Yeah," she said. "I'd been thinking about whether I felt anything for you a while before. But that was the moment I knew."
"You should have told me," Harry said.
"You're the man, I was waiting for you to make the first move," she said. "I don't deal well with rejection."
"I'm never going to reject you Ruth," he said. She smiled at him. "How are you doing? With the other news. About no other children."
"It seems unreal," Ruth said quietly. "Like it was a bad dream." She put Alex down on the bed and tickled his stomach gently, making him gurgle. "But I am trying to make the most of Alex. Now I know he's the only one."
"You'd be making the most of him anyway," Harry said. Ruth nodded.
"You're right." Ruth kissed him and then jerked as Alex kicked her hip. "I guess he's found his footballers legs."
"Rugby please," Harry said. "My son will have principles and not sell out for football."
"Oh God," Ruth said. "I've just realised I'm going to spend years of my life waiting on freezing pitches, cheering my son on."
"Yes," Harry agreed. Ruth tickled Alex's feet gently and smiled at him. She couldn't wait for him to learn to smile. Even though he was only a week old.
Harry had gone to work, leaving Ruth and Alex alone for the day. Her maternity leave would last six months before she'd go back to work, and a part of her was scared about having a baby in her care all day every day. She'd never looked after children before, and was pleased that Alex seemed to be an easy baby. He cried rarely and slept well, much to her relief. And just looking into his eyes never got boring. She adored him, more than she expected to. It was as if her heart had expanded, and he filled an entirely new space inside her. She smiled at the light of her world.