Thanks so much for the reviews. They mean a lot to me.
Y'all seem to be pretty split on what AZ should do. Which means unfortunately I can't please everyone. Just know that whatever AZ decides, doesn't come easy for her as you will see.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, any mistakes are mine.
"She wants you in there. Not me. You don't owe us anything. I know that. But please. Go in there and be with her. She's struggling and it's you she needs."
Arizona stood stalk still in the hallway, still facing away from the plastic surgeon that was lightly holding her arm. As his words echoed through her head she felt conflicted. On the one hand, being needed by the brunette felt good. It was what Arizona had wanted for so long. But on the other hand, Arizona had spent the past two months teetering on the edge of giving up that dream. She felt Mark release her arm and she took an automatic step away from him, giving herself space to think. A few different thoughts ran through her head. As much as she wanted to walk away, she was unwilling to give the plastic surgeon any more ammunition to use against her. If she stayed and did this then he could never accuse her of bailing again.
But then again, she really didn't like the man and couldn't give a rat's ass what he thought of her. As she started to walk away she then thought about the orthopedic follow up care Callie had been providing for her before the car accident. If she went in there, then the favor was returned and she didn't owe the brunette anything. But did she even owe the brunette anything to begin with? She sighed, that was an argument she'd have with herself another day she decided, pushing that idea to the back of her mind.
What it all boiled down to was the fact that she'd been abandoned. In her time of need, Arizona had been abandoned by the woman she loved more than anything. So why should she go in there? Sure Callie needed her now but where had the brunette been when their rolls had been reversed.
Arizona was working with her therapist. She was trying to forgive, but it wasn't that easy. There was nothing easy about Callie and Arizona. Every time the blonde thought about her ex she felt like she was on a rollercoaster, flip-flopping between loving and loathing the orthopedic surgeon. As she stood in the hall, Mark's eyes still burning holes in the back of her head, she realized that lately that ride had been plunging downwards with no signs of stopping.
With a shake of her head she started to walk off, widening the gap between her and Mark, until she was bombarded with the memories of her own physical therapy. She stopped in her tracks as the memories overwhelmed her. Arizona had had her father, and Callie would have Mark. She would be supported. But would she be understood? Daniel Robbins had been great, doing everything his daughter needed and more. But what he couldn't comprehend was just how damn hard it was to retrain your body to do something you'd been doing for close to 35 years. As much as she wanted to run for the hills…as much as she deserved to…she couldn't in good conscience let someone else suffer the way she had. Balling her hands into fists, she turned slowly on the spot to face the waiting man. "Then you have to go. I cannot go in there and be with both of you. I won't do it."
"But I…"
She held up a hand. "It's your choice Mark. Either you leave or I leave. Come back and pick her up at the end of her appointment but I cannot go in there and provide the help that someone needs to get through what may possibly be the most grueling thing she has ever done with you hovering over my shoulder. I will help her with her PT because I remember just how much it sucked for me. But I will only go in there if you keep out. Got it?"
"Robbins, you can't just kick me out." He protested.
Unwilling to play his games she turned back around and started to walk down the hall, away from the Rehabilitation wing. "Okay then."
Growling in frustration he ran after her, stopping in front of her, his hands raised defensively. "Okay okay. I'll go. Will you please just go in there?"
The blonde nodded her head curtly before once again turning around, this time stalking down the hall towards the gym she had just vacated, not looking over her shoulder as she threw open the door and entered the room.
As the door closed behind her, she paused briefly, closing her eyes and taking slow deep breaths to calm herself down. It did nobody any good if she lost her cool now. It certainly wouldn't help her remain professional with the brunette who was now looking at her desperately. Sealing herself, she opened her eyes, approaching the woman who was struggling to hold herself up on the parallel bars, her arms shaking with the effort.
The blonde quickly brought the wheelchair up behind Callie, locking the wheels before grabbing the taller woman under her arms. With Jake's help, they lowered her into the wheelchair where she sat, gasping for breath. "Jake, can you excuse us for a moment?" Arizona asked the PT assistant as she walked around the parallel bars, crouching down as best she could in front of the seated woman.
As the man complied Arizona reached up and rested her hand on one of the bars, grasping it in order to maintain her balance as she looked up at Callie. "Callie, I know this is hard. And I know you want to quit." Arizona kept her hands to herself even as tears started to well up in the brunette's eyes. "But you can't quit. People are going to tell you that you have to do this for Sofia. But don't listen to them. Don't even think about doing this for Sofia. You have to do this for yourself. You need to push yourself, but you also need to be patient because it's not all going to come back in a day. It can take months. And getting angry at yourself does no good." Standing back up, she held her hands out to the other woman. "Are you ready to try again?"
When Callie nodded, Arizona pulled her back to her feet, helping her balance between the bars. "Arizona thank you for coming." She slowly moved her right leg forward, taking a shaky step as the blonde moved backwards, keeping a watchful eye on her.
"Yeah." Arizona said, focusing on Callie's walking rather than looking at the brunette's face. She couldn't afford to let herself get drawn in by those soulful brown eyes. She wouldn't do it. "Come on, take another step. You can do it." Arizona backed away, to the end of the parallel bars. "Keep coming Callie."
Callie took a few more steps and stopped, her arms quivering as she tried to hold herself up. "I can't do it. I-I need to stop."
Arizona shook her head, not moving from her place at the end of the bars. "No. Remember I told you you have to know when to push and when to be patient. This is one of those pushing times. Take another step Callie. You can do it."
The brunette grit her teeth and forced herself forward again, taking a few more steps until her legs buckled under her and she collapsed to the ground. As she tried to push herself back to a seated position she was surprised to see the blonde lowering herself to the floor in front of her.
Arizona's prosthetic leg stuck out awkwardly, her right leg tucked underneath her as she leaned forward from her seated position and grabbed Callie's arms, pulling her so that she was seated upright on the ground. "Thank you." Callie said breathlessly.
The blonde gave her a slight nod, waiting patiently as Callie's breathing became more regular.
Once the orthopedic surgeon's lungs stopped burning she looked at the woman seated before her. "Arizona can we talk?"
Arizona groaned internally had wanted to avoid a situation like this. She pushed herself back up to her feet, helping the brunette stand before guiding her back into her wheelchair. "It depends."
Callie looked up at her, shifting so that she was more comfortable. "I've wanted to see you. I miss you so much and I…" She was cut off by the blonde who afforded her a sad smile.
"Callie, that's what I wanted to hear from you when I got back. But now, with everything that's happened…We just can't talk about this now. You need to focus on getting better and I…well I need to too."
The brunette looked up at her with tears in her eyes. "If you don't want to talk to me, then why'd you come in here Arizona?"
"Why?" The blonde's crystal blue eyes stared straight at her, making sure she heard every word. "Because this is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do Callie. And you need someone here who understands what it is like to have to relearn how to walk. That's not something that Mark can help you with. But it is something that I am quite familiar with. I will help you. I want to help you. But any heart to heart, any feelings that we may or may not have need to be left outside this room." She walked over to the corner of the room and grabbed a medicine ball, bringing the weighted sphere to the wheelchair bound woman. "Do you understand?" She put the ball in Callie's lap.
Callie's heart ached as she nodded, using the heels of her hands to pick up the heavy ball. As Arizona guided her through a range of movements, she breathed in the blonde's intoxicating scent, relishing in the familiarity even though the woman she knew she wanted was just out of her grasp.
During PT Arizona had put Callie through her paces and now the brunette lay exhausted in bed as she mentally recapped the day. Arizona was right when she said that physical therapy would be the hardest thing she ever had to do and Callie couldn't help the sob that welled up in her throat as she realized just how much the blonde had had to endure. Arizona had completed her physical therapy without her friends by her side. She'd somehow had enough self-motivation to make it through painful workout after workout to retrain her battered body so that she could come home walking tall.
Callie berated herself for being so stupid. How had she let this woman fall through her fingers? For months she'd pushed Arizona away, only to realize how much she loved the blonde when it was too late. She had pushed and pushed when she should have been patient. Wasn't that the lesson Arizona had taught her today? If she had been patient would she have slept with Mark for the first time the night Arizona called? Would she have crawled in bed with her friend had she known that the blonde was calling her from a hospital bed after surviving the most traumatic experience of her life?
She squeezed her eyes shut and continued to cry as conflicting thoughts overwhelmed her tired brain. If she hadn't slept with Mark, then she wouldn't have Sofia, but if she had just listened to Arizona then maybe both women wouldn't be as damaged and heartbroken as they were now. She could have helped the blonde through her recovery, brought her back to Seattle where she would have been surrounded by a wonderful support group. The same support group that Callie thanked God for every day since her car crash.
Her heart broke as she thought about the blonde surgeon who had at one time radiated nothing but joy and love but was now full of pain and anger. Who was struggling with her own physical and emotional challenges even as she helped Callie conquer hers. The blonde who still held Callie's heart even when it seemed she no longer wanted it
I hope this chapter did not disappoint. As many of you have said, the ball's in Callie's court now. She has to make Arizona realize that she is still loved. Which will be hard considering that AZ has given up on that hope and has body image issue to boot.
One reviewer told me not to rush this story, and they are right. That would be a disservice to all of us and Calzona. So I really hope you continue to stick with me as the story unfolds.
To the reviewer who said that I must have it all written since I update so quickly, nope! I normally write a chapter, give myself a couple hours, re-check it and see if I still like it, then post it with nothing else written. I have ideas and I know where the story is going, but that is the reason I ask y'all for ideas because I can fit so many other things into the skeleton I have worked out in my head.
As always, please let me know what you think, reviews make me happy. And as stated above, any ideas? Let me have 'em!