Note: Thanks so much for all of the reviews- they are very much appreciated! Thank you to EastBlue, TinDog, Erin Jordan, AccidentallySocial, max2013, and Paulina Ann for your comments on the last chapter! :) The next chapter will be up Friday.

Choices of the Heart

Chapter 21

Vanessa stood outside the hotel room, key hovering over the lock. She did not want to go into the room. Once she did, she would be completely and totally alone. Alone with her emotions and her thoughts – thoughts of Joe. She looked back over her shoulder and glanced enviously at the closed door Frank and Callie had retreated behind just a moment ago.

'At least they have each other,' Vanessa thought despondently. Resigning herself to what was to come, she slowly opened the door and stepped inside.

As she scanned the 'wreckage' that passed for their hotel room – clothes, towels, bathing suits, and shoes; books, magazines, and CDs strewn everywhere – a totally unrelated thought entered her mind. 'If it was our room that had been ransacked, we never even would have known.'

Suddenly she began laughing at the thought. A few giggles at first that gradually grew louder until she was laughing hysterically. Laughing so hard she doubled over, clutching her sides. Before Vanessa even knew what had happened, she was sobbing. Leaning back against the closed door, she slid to the floor and buried her face in her hands letting the tears flow unchecked. She sat and cried, lost and alone, until she couldn't cry anymore. Still, she could not bring herself to step any further into the room – not without Joe.

And so she sat, her back against the door, thinking about the man she desperately loved, and wondering if she would ever fall asleep in his arms again.

'When was the last time I told him I loved him? Does he know?' Vanessa began to panic, unable to recall the last time she had said those words to Joe. 'What kind of girlfriend are you? He tells you every day…every single day…how much he loves you; how you are the most beautiful woman in the world; how lucky he is to have you. And you can't even remember to say those three simple words?'

Vanessa closed her eyes as the last time she told Joe how much she loved him came rushing back to her. It had been less than an hour ago, but had he been able to hear her?

'How could he with all those machines making so much noise and all those tubes and wires attached to him everywhere. And the bandages…too many of them.' Vanessa choked out a sob, but the tears didn't come this time and she assumed she just didn't have any left.

She didn't want to see those images of Joe lying so deathly still in that hospital bed. So very pale he almost blended into the pristine white sheets. She tried to force them out but they were stubborn, refusing to leave. Vanessa tried to bring up pictures of Joe from just a few days ago. Surfing, swimming, holding her tightly and kissing her under the boardwalk, when he was safe and they were happy.

Opening her eyes, Vanessa saw a flash of color sticking out from under the bed. Recognizing it as the t-shirt Joe had worn the last time Vanessa saw him, she reached forward and grabbed it. Slowly she brought it to her face and inhaled deeply. 'It's still there.' She smiled sadly, savoring the musky scent she loved. Laying the t-shirt on the floor next to her, she slowly took her clothes off and put Joe's t-shirt on. It was a poor substitute for feeling his arms wrapped around her, but for tonight it would have to do.

Looking up, Vanessa saw the menagerie of stuffed animals Joe had accumulated for her over the course of their vacation, sitting on the bureau, all of them smiling down on her. Every night they had gone to the boardwalk and every night Joe had played the silly games, always coming away with some goofy new stuffed animals for her to add to her collection. She laughed out loud recalling the last time Joe had approached the booth with the rifles. She could still hear the man's voice, trying to attract the passers by to his game of chance.

"Hit the bulls eye! Win a prize!" Being an expert marksman, Joe had done exactly that, every single time he played. After the third night in a row, when Joe had almost cleaned him out of prizes, the little man had banned Joe from his booth.

Slowly but surely, the same thing happened at the ring toss, the baseball throw and on and on. Vanessa now had every single, silly prize available on the boardwalk and Joe had found himself with a reputation that preceded him. No matter which game he tried to play, he was told he had been banned. The boardwalk in Cape May was running out of prizes thanks to him. Why don't you drive a little further down the shore, he was told. Try Avalon, Seabright or Ocean City. They probably still have prizes left.

Knowing she couldn't possibly sleep, and dreading the nightmares that would follow if she somehow were able to drift off, Vanessa began the ritual that would get her through the night. Reaching up to the bureau, Vanessa pulled off the first stuffed animal she saw – an ugly purple elephant. Holding it tightly, close to her heart, she thought back to the day she met Joe in the parking lot of Bayport High School. As she relived every moment of their relationship, she made sure to rotate through her collection of stuffed bears, dogs, cats, frogs, hippos, snakes and every other animal imaginable, giving each of them time close to her heart and close to Joe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Across the hall, Frank lay staring up into the darkness. Unlike Vanessa, he was actually attempting to get some sleep, although so far he had been unsuccessful. Whenever he closed his eyes, all he could see was Joe lying in the hospital bed, barely holding on. Frank did not want to admit it, but it seemed the machines were keeping Joe alive more than Joe was actually living. The five minutes he had been allowed to spend with his brother seemed to fly by and at the same time last an eternity.

For once, Frank, who had the reputation of being cool and in control no matter what the crisis, had fallen apart. Between the bandages, the machines, the tubes, the wires and the IV's, Frank couldn't find anywhere he could safely touch his brother. And at that moment, that was all he wanted to do; touch Joe's hand or his face, feel the warmth of his skin, so Frank could truly believe he was still alive.

Staring at Joe, the meaning of Dr. Simonds' words – 'If he makes it through the night' – suddenly became very real to Frank. By the time his five minutes were up and the nurse literally dragged him from the room, Frank was certain Joe wouldn't make it through the night.

Unable to hide his distress, he never called his parents. It wouldn't have mattered if he did; they too were vacationing in Hawaii. They couldn't possibly reach Joe's side before morning even if they wanted to. No, Frank had decided, one ruined vacation was enough. Let them enjoy theirs for one more day.

Turning his head, Frank watched Callie sleeping. She was sleeping, but only because she had cried so hard she had exhausted herself. After begging Frank to forgive her, convinced Joe had been hurt solely because of her, she had let Frank hold her while she grieved. Frank wanted to take away all her pain; both the pain he had caused her with the choice no one should ever have to make and, worse still, the pain she was causing herself.

No one blamed her for what had happened to Joe. Not Frank, not Vanessa and certainly not Joe, himself. Yet Callie refused to listen and continued beating herself up about it until she had finally fallen into a very fitful sleep.

Frank looked towards the door and wondered how Vanessa was doing. He admired her immensely. Had Callie been the one in the hospital, Frank wasn't sure he would have the inner strength to return to their hotel room alone, not knowing if he would ever see her alive again. At least Frank and Callie had each other to cling to. Vanessa had no one. But she had insisted she would be fine alone. Frank suspected she was close to breaking down completely and wanted to be alone when that happened. Finally feeling exhausted enough to sleep without dreaming, Frank closed his eyes, still thinking of Vanessa and his younger brother.

'Don't leave her, Joe. Don't leave her.'

Later that morning, Frank found himself pacing the length of the hotel room, checking his watch yet again. There had been no call from the hospital during the night, which meant at least Joe's condition had not deteriorated. Still, Frank was anxious to get to the hospital and see his brother. His jittery nerves would only be calmed when he could see for himself that Joe was at least holding his own. He also needed to call his parents. Frank knew he would have to suffer through an emotionally charged, angry tirade from his parents for waiting so long to tell them about Joe, but he didn't want to call them with a lot of "maybe's". Praying that by the time he arrived at the hospital this morning Joe's condition would have stabilized, Frank promised himself he would then call his parents immediately.

Throwing a glance at the closed bathroom door, Frank wondered if he should check on Callie when she finally emerged, red-eyed and sniffling. Seeing her still so distraught, and knowing he was partially responsible for it, was eating him up inside. He couldn't believe Callie's grace and poise after everything that had happened. Frank wanted to take her in his arms and hold her, make all her pain disappear, but he hesitated, unsure how she would respond. Every time Frank thought about the choice he'd had to make, he felt sick to his stomach. How could Callie ever forgive him?

Thinking of Joe so critically injured, Callie holding herself completely responsible for it, and he himself so riddled with guilt, Frank made a vow.

'I'll find you, Nash. That's a promise. You will never get away with this.'

"Are you okay, hon?" Frank asked, noting the sadness on Callie's face.

Callie looked at him and smiled wanly. She had been trying to figure out the best way to tell Frank about the video. She hated to dump this on him now, when he was so worried about Joe, but she felt she had no other option. She couldn't take the chance that Nash would send the video to Frank – and worse still, that he would watch it – before she had a chance to explain.

"There's something I need to tell you, Frank."

Frank's stomach tightened. Although it had been hanging over their heads, they hadn't really talked about the choice he had been forced to make to save Joe's life. Callie had said she understood, she had told him to choose Joe, but Frank had seen the look in her eyes when he did. She may have understood with her head that Frank had to choose Joe, but somewhere deep in her heart she had wanted Frank to choose her.

"Okay," Frank replied simply, preparing himself for the worst. He sat on the bed and gently guided Callie to a seat next to him.

Looking into his eyes, she saw a mixture of anxiety and concern. "Frank, something happened while Joe and I were being held that you need to know about. But I need you to let me get through this without interruption, okay?"

Frank nodded, wondering what could possibly be worse than what he already knew.

Taking a deep breath, Callie told Frank about the night she and Joe had been drugged, and how they had awakened the next morning with no memory of what, if anything, had happened during the night. Nervously, she told him of the appearance of Nash and Jenkins that morning, of their innuendo, accusations and insinuations. Callie could hear her voice shaking as she explained about the video, about how Nash and Jenkins manipulated the situation in an effort to make Joe and Callie believe they had slept together.

Callie suddenly stopped speaking as that horrible moment when Jenkins had played the DVD came rushing back to her. Recalling how, for a few brief moments she thought that she and Joe might have actually done what they were suggesting, she was filled with shame. Joe never thought for a second that the people on the video were he and Callie. But she had, and that memory would haunt her for a very long time.

As Frank sat and listened to Callie recount the surreal events, his heart started to race. 'Drugged?! Joe and Callie were drugged?' He thought in disbelief. 'They wanted Joe and Callie to think they had slept together? They wanted me to believe they had betrayed me?' Frank realized every muscle in his body was tense, as the anger he felt threatened to consume him. 'Bastards!'

"Frank," Callie said, forcing him back to the present. "I think Nash is going to send you the video, as a way to get back at me; to get his revenge. Joe was afraid you would get the DVD and watch it before we had a chance to explain. That's why we tried to escape. Joe wanted to get to you before the DVD did. He…we…didn't think you would believe it, but those people on the tape…they do look a lot like Joe and I." Callie's voice dropped considerably. "And we didn't want you to be hurt."

Abruptly, Frank stood and walked to the balcony, staring out at the deep blue of the ocean, willing it to calm the emotions threatening to explode inside him. He turned to look at Callie and the uncertainty in her eyes tore at his heart. Callie stood and walked to him, taking his hands in hers.

"Joe and I would never, ever…" she began, but stopped when Frank pulled her into him, holding her tighter than he ever had before.

"I love you, Callie. I trust you. You and Joe," Frank said, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry. So sorry for what they did…what they put you through."

"Promise me something, Frank." Callie said, not moving from Frank's embrace. "If you do get the video, please promise me you won't watch it. It's…it's…." Callie felt slightly queasy, recalling the small portion of the video she had seen. "Please, just throw it out."

"Promise," he whispered, vowing that Nash and Jenkins would never hurt the people he loved again. "And I promise you, they will pay. For what they did to you and for what they did to Joe."

Frank continued holding Callie tightly, unable to release her just yet. The emotional torture she had been forced to suffer through had been horrendous, but at least she was here with him, for the most part unharmed…unlike Joe. Burying his face in her neck, Frank held back the tears, determined to be strong for Callie and Joe, at the same time hoping and praying his brother would recover.