TO FORGET

A/N: Graphic Language towards the end.

-Blake Belladonna-

'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea?' I thought, shifting awkwardly as JNPR's dorm door swung open, Pyrrha Nikos staring at me with a surprised look on her face. I fidgeted slightly, I'd freshened up since Joel had left to see Ozpin but maybe I missed something she noticed. From the looks of it she'd just gotten out of the shower herself, her red hair hanging in damp curtains around her face and she had forgone her usual armor in favor of gym shorts and a maroon colored tank top.

Surprise melted away quickly, replaced by a welcoming smile "Ah Blake, this is a surprise." She was right, I was by no mean as antisocial as I'd been earlier in the year but social calls on my own were a rarity at best. "What can I do for you?"

"Are your teammates here?" I asked, gazing over her shoulder trying to check for her teammates. Nora would be impossible to miss and if she wasn't here than chances were Ren wouldn't be either.

Pyrrha frowned slightly but shook her head, moving aside to let me into the room, it was definitely cleaner than RWBY's but with less space. "No, Jaune was assigned catch up work with Professor Goodwitch while Ren and Nora took the chance to head down to Vale for the evening." she explained moving to sit on her bed, gesturing for me to join her. "I just finished training and thought I'd get some work done. Though while were speaking of Jaune, please do thank Joel for me. He's has improved so much in such a short time thanks to his assistance, not just in training but his confidence."

I grinned, taking a seat on the space beside her, "You do know that that's not all Joel's doing right? You deserve a lot of the credit yourself, Joel's only been reinforcing what you teach." The spartan blushed slightly, mumbling a quick thanks. I felt my smile falter slightly, "Actually Joel is the one I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" The red head shot me a sideways glance seeming a bit nervous, eyebrows raised, "Forgive me Blake but I'm not certain I'm the best one to come to for relationship advice. Maybe Yang could…"

"It's not anything like that." I said quickly, hands up for reassurance. 'This is way harder than I thought...' "Well maybe it is...it is a bit of a tense point..." I muttered, trying to avoid meeting her eyes when I felt a firm grip on my shoulder.

"Blake, what is it?" Pyrrha asked calmly, voice level. I stared at her for a moment before taking a deep, calming breath. 'All right, here goes.'

"I want to get a better understanding of him, all sides of him. I want to know what he goes through, what goes through his mind when he..."

"This about his Semblance isn't it?" Pyrrha cut me off before I could say anymore, wearing a hard expression, "You want to know how he feels when he loses control?"

Pyrrha, as perceptive as ever "Yes, and how I can help him through them. Help him remember himself or keep him calm." I admitted getting back to my feet, standing in front of the still seated huntress "The problem is he won't talk about that side of himself with me, he changes the subject whenever I ask…"

"So you came to me…" Pyrrha finished, "because I experienced it too and I can give an account."

"Pyrrha I'm sorry…" I started but she waved my apology off, smile back on her face.

"It's quite alright." she said, crossing her legs as she looked out the window, "You're doing this to try and be closer to him right? That's not necessarily a bad thing."

"But he treats it like one…" I pointed out in exasperation, "It's a part of who he is, it IS him, but he acts as if I should hate him for it. When he lost control during Goodwitch's project I could barely do a thing, seeing him in that much pain..." I met her eyes, pleading, "Pyrrha, please...what is it like? Anything you can tell me."

She didn't answer right away, face furrowing, deep in thought "It is...hard to explain." she said finally, gazing down at her hands, the same way Joel sometimes did, almost...wistful, "Like a mix of pain and ecstasy, anger and exhilaration. To be honest I felt more alive in those few seconds than I have since I first unlocked my Aura."

"It sounds incredible." I noted, trying to imagine such a strange feeling for myself.

Her hands tightened into fists, shaking slightly "It was, though I could feel every nerve in my body screaming, the world was just so...in focus, so simple, my eyes able to follow every movement, every detail." Her voice had an edge to it, full of a strange longing, her emerald eyes shining wildly, "For years I've always prided myself on my strength and ability, but in those moments I felt as if I could do anything, overcome any challenge, all my worries washing away in a tide of power. Even now, weeks later, I can still remember the feeling..." she shook her head roughly, taking in a deep breath before carrying on. "Your lucky Blake, if Joel were any less than who he is I'm certain this Semblance would have consumed him long ago, having that much power at his fingertips any time he wished. A downfall many in his family suffered if what he's told me is accurate."

"Even after he's told you that, it still bothers you? You sound as if you actually miss it?"

"I did. I craved that power again, the chance to become even stronger wielding it. Then I realized what such a need could do to me and those I cared about. I explained my situation to Joel, asking him to keep it between the two of us. At the time he barely knew any more than I did, but since regaining his memory he's actually been very understanding of my problem and more than willing to help. Focus, that's the key."

"Focus? 'So I was right about his Semblance!'

Pyrrha nodded, reaching for a hair tie as she drew the long red strands back into her signature ponytail. "Yes, he manages it by focusing on something other than the feeling it provides, apparently in the past he used his hatred for the White Fang." 'No wonder he doesn't like talking about it...' I realized. We'd discussed our former lives of course, what we'd done, who we were, but we had our secrets and the both of us knew that. Joel knew about Adam, but I'd never gone into specifics about some of things the White Fang had us do, and in return Joel had shared aspects of his days as the "Demon" but he hadn't gone into any real detail. 'New lives, new beginnings...' my subconscious declared fiercely, 'a new start for both of us, the past shapes us but doesn't mean it defines us!' meanwhile Pyrrha continued to speak, placing her tiara on her forehead, "...but it can be something positive to. It's the little things for me, training with Jaune, spending time with all of you everyday, I'm certain something similar can be said for Joel now. You especially have become an important person in his life." I blushed furiously, eliciting a giggle from the red head, "You say you can calm him, focus him even when he loses what control he has correct?"

"Calm him, I can't stop him or snap him out of it." I muttered bitterly, Goodwitch's little trial still fresh in my mind.

"Take this from someone who has gone through a shadow of what Joel must experience everytime he uses his Aura that such a thing is hardly a simple matter." Pyrrha said firmly, staring at me intently, "Breaking free from that much power would be difficult, I almost wept when Joel cut the connection. To actually keep him centered through such a thing is incredible to say the least."

"But…"

"Whatever Joel becomes when he goes too far, he still cares for you." Pyrrha said in a comforting tone, "Just be there for him when he needs it, neither of you needs protecting."

I glanced down at the JNPR's best fighter, "You're right Pyrrha...thank you."

The spartan held up a hand dismissively, "It was nothing, we're friends, you'd do the same for me I'm sure. Now, was there anything else you wished to discuss? Maybe your time today with Joel for instance?"

"Huh?" I felt my face redden involuntarily, "I-I, how did you...?"

"You two weren't with the others when we met up, I just assumed." she shrugged, smiling knowingly, "From your expression it must've been pleasant."

"That obvious huh?" I grinned, red still framing my cheeks. 'Great...I wonder how Joel's day's going?' I wondered, sitting back down on the bed. "And here I was wondering how your sessions with Jaune were going?"

-Joel Ambrose-

"This is a nice room you have here Joel. Ozzy's been good to you." Sophia exclaimed, moving around the space as I closed the door quickly, making sure the hallways were clear. "Really now, do you have to be so nervous?" she continued, sitting down on the bed with a sigh, smoothing out the wrinkles in her gown. "It'll age you before your time you know?"

"Why are you here?" I growled, ignoring the words as I turned around to stare at her, face set.

Sophia feigned a look of hurt surprise, she even had the start of tears ready and glistening in her eyes, 'The same face Rachael used...' I fought down the urge to apologize, keeping my face composed "Why are you being so hostile all of a sudden? I haven't heard from you in months and it's been even longer since we've seen…"

"Mrs. Ellwood, I got us away from Ozpin and it's not as if he bugs the rooms, so do you mind not feeding me bullshit?" I cut her off harshly, leaning against the wall of the room arms crossed, Moonlight was learned in the corner a few steps away, the silver sheath shining in the light of the fading sun from the window. "Now I'm going to ask again. Why. Are. You. Here?" I stressed each word through gritted teeth.

She opened her mouth as if to protest but closed it, pursing her lips in a disappointed scowl, all trace of sadness forgotten in an instant "Fine, I'm here to discuss why you've been out of contact all this time regarding your mission. From what I gather you've just been sitting idly by playing schoolboy."

"Damn it…" I cursed under my breath, fingers digging into the palms of my hands as my fists shook, "so you really were involved with all of this." 'Of course she was, how the hell does a no name student end up with a stolen Atlesian engine for his bike?' Her involvement was one of the few things I'd wished I didn't remember, now she'd just confirmed it. "So you're not even going to try and deny being involved with my action before I came here."

"What are you…? Of course I was involved, I started and funded our efforts. It's been that way ever since you and that traitor Corbell turned up in that refugee camp, while every kingdom's government spent every effort to bury the truth of what those monsters did to our home." she crossed one leg over the other, a look of confusion on her face as she glared at me. "What's the matter with you? You're acting as if this is all new information?"

"Kind of is in a way…" I shrugged lazily, tapping the side of my head "and here I thought the good professor already explained my little accident to you."

"I was hoping that was all just a convenient cover story you used to gain access to the academy. However, it seems I was mistaken on that count." she sighed in annoyance, massaging her brow, "Well, I do suppose that would explain the lack of communication on your part. You do seem to be doing better now correct?"

"Yes I am actually, turns out ditching the whole terrorist lifestyle does that for you."

Ellwood was on her feet in an instant, finger jabbed in my direction "You took my offer and came with us, went through Lucas' training, hunted those animals of your own free will to avenge my daughter and your family. Don't act as if you were forced!" the blond snapped venomously, eyes flashing in barely suppressed anger. "All that you did was your own choice!"

"And now I'm choosing to never have anything to do with you or Lucas again…" I shot back, fingernails digging painfully into my palm, "in fact where is he? I remember you two got married, thought he'd be attached to your hip."

"We are married yes, more than two years now in fact." her lips curled upwards into the first genuine smile I remembered seeing on her face since Bastion. "I put him in charge of Robyn but he should be coming up any second now." she held up her arm, an ornate silver brace affixed to her wrist. 'A tracking device...'

"Who the hell's Robyn?" I asked confused when a sharp rap on the door drew my attention.

"That's right you've never been introduced, that should be them now." Sophia said excitedly, sitting back down on the bed, "Do be a dear and get that would you?" she asked, more an order than a request. Lucas strode inside wearing a well fitted suit, the Ellwood family emblem displayed proudly on the breast, straight backed as his dark eyes swept the room examining every inch within a second, a cream colored blanket sat securely in the crook of his arm. Time had been good to the older huntsman just as it had been to his wife, clean shaven with only hints of gray touching the temples of his slicked black hair betraying his age.

I suppressed a cold shudder down my spine as his gaze fell on me, lingering for a second on my hair before settling on my face. "Ambrose." he said inclined his head slightly, a gesture I nervously returned on reflex. "Seems our network was correct, a pity."

"Lucas." I stared at the blanket in shock, a small form laughing as it grabbed at the huntsman's lapel, a pair of familiar bright green eyes looking up underneath a shock of light blonde hair. 'Shit...'

"Ah! Lucas what have I told you!? You can't hold a baby like that!" Sophia moved to take the child, taking it in both arms, cooing lightly as the little girl laughed happily. She planted a kiss on Lucas' cheek, "Really how many times do I have to repeat that,"

"I need a hand free if I'm going to protect her love, it's more efficient." Lucas grunted, stoic expression in place with his eyes still fixed on me. The look said more than enough, any leverage I had evaporated under that glare. "I was detained by a group of female students, it seems Robyn's quite popular." the baby gave a short squeal of delight, flailing her tiny arms.

"So...congratulations are in order." I said awkwardly, shifting uncomfortably at the strange atmosphere, "I wasn't aware…"

"Of course you weren't." the mother said sharply, tone completely at odds with her doting demeanor, "We felt it was a risk for you to know in case you were captured and interrogated. In that case the White Fang would only be able to attack myself or Lucas." her expression faltered slightly as she gazed down at the tiny form in her arms, "They've already taken Rachael from me, a fact that you seem to have forgotten."

I scratched at my head, fighting down the sudden swell of anger building at her words, "I never forgot Mrs, Ellwood, even when I lost every other memory I had, when I could barely recall my own name, I kept reliving that day, that one day in my dreams again and again and again every single night." Screams and the clamor of battle ringing from all around me, smoke heavy in the air, the smell of blood… "

"So you remember but you won't do your part to avenge her? You grew up together Joel, loved her, and her killers…!"

"Are dead Sophia!" I shouted, flinching when the baby began to whimper but I couldn't stop there. "Eric and his team, members of an extremist faction even amongst the Fang, were responsible for the attack on Bastion." Memories of that bastard's face came to mind, a smiling smugly as he lauded his genocidal plan for his so-called "sanctuary", "While I can't be certain for the others, I can assure you Eric Falkner isn't a threat to anyone anymore." Blood seeping through my fingers, the twisted ruin of a body lying on the cold concrete floor…"I can't be a part of this anymore, what we've been doing the last few years...damn it we're no better than them!"

"Coward." Lucas grunted, crossing his arms with a look of disgust. 'No chance with him it seems...' I turned to the blonde, practically pleading now, "Please, this isn't what Rachael would've wanted." I expected anger, shouting, more accusations, however Sophia Ellwood just sighed, shaking her head wearily as she allowed Robyn to take hold of her finger in a tight grip.

"Fine."

"Huh?" my mouth hung open dumbly in astonishment.

"Fine…" she repeated, managing to retrieve her finger, "If you feel so strongly about the subject, I won't force anything. You started on this path willingly, you should be able to leave the same way. However there is still the matter of the mission you left incomplete."

"Mission? If you're talking about that warehouse the White Fang was using as a front then it was destroyed months ago, I had a front row seat."

"She's not talking about that silly raid you pulled boy!" Lucas intoned roughly, massaging his temples, "That was a silly point of pride for you, rooting out the source of the recent Dust related robberies, stupid and utterly foolish. Your main reason for coming to Vale was to "deal" with a certain individual."

"Ozzy has his heart in the right place…" his wife cut in, an innocent smile forming on her face, "and he's truly dedicated to saving the world from the Grimm through his students. However, this has resulted in his rather unfortunate habit of picking up any stray with combat skills and offering them a place here."

"He see's good in people, he offers them a chance to…" I started but was cut off as Sophia continued on with her rant.

"We discovered one of his little strays is a defector, a former White Fang agent that has been linked to a number of criminal activities, some even span back years. Your mission was to infiltrate the academy as a former student of Aegis looking for a purpose and, when the opportunity presents itself, show the bitch that cold feet doesn't exempt you from our justice." It all clicked into place in one terrible realization, the reason they were here, their target. I leapt back flaring my Aura, scooping up Midnight in one hand, the blade halfway out of it's sheath clutched firmly in the other when I felt a sharp pressure barely brushing against the barrier that protected my throat. Looking down I saw Lucas, perfectly poised with a short, curved black blade still in the process of extending, ready to finish me off. I tried to move but it felt as though my body had become a prison, unresponsive to my commands, his eyes taking on a faint teal tint as they burrowed into mine. 'I didn't even see him move!?'

"That was sloppy, Ambrose." he muttered quietly, pressing the short sword even further, causing a small spark as edge met Aura, "Very sloppy."

"Really Joel? You could've scared the baby." Sophia chided me in a motherly tone, gently swaying Robyn back and forth to quiet her. "There there…you're safe. Lucas you don't have to hold him, let him speak." The huntsman nodded in acknowledgement, the faint glow leaving his eyes as he blinked. Suddenly I was back in control of my movements, slumping forward in surprise with a deep intake of breath, almost falling on the blade in the process, Moonlight clattering to the floor beside me.

"Blake Belladonna, that's your target!?" I panted, staring hatefully into what was once my own Godmother's eyes.

"Not our target Joel, yours." she let out a girlish giggle as Robyn squirmed, trying to look at me. "You're job is simple, end her, and we'll never see each other again."

"N-no! NO WAY!" I tried to reach for my sword but was stopped as the black sword was once again at my throat, looking back I saw Lucas shushing me, cocking his head to the bundle in his wife's arms. "I'm not doing it, leave her alone!"

"Hmm...rather obstinate are we? Lucas, scroll!" she snapped, the huntsman nodded again, swiping the blade to my side, somehow removing the pocket of my shorts without even grazing me, hand lashing out to snatch up my scroll that toppled out, tossing it over his shoulder. Sophia caught it deftly, "Lets see, ah! There we go, still using the same password." The device lit up as she began to scan its contents, eyes widening as she began checking pictures, "Oh this is intriguing." she'd paused on a shot of Blake and I that I'd taken during a date to Vale in a bookshop, my arm around her shoulder as she kissed my cheek. "Now that's just precious."

"Sophia, she's no longer involved. She wants to start ov…!" I saw stars as Lucas smashed my head with the pommel of his sword sending me sprawling to the floor, a look of utter disgust etched on his face.

"Dear, hurt him again if he keeps talking?" Sophia said absently, flipping through more pictures before checking my call history. "Here we go." she pressed a button, queuing up a call, placing the scroll between her shoulder and her ea with her head angled as she played with Robyn. "Hey Natalie, it's Sophia, wow can you believe it's been so long since we talked?...What are you talking about, Joel's fine. He's just letting me borrow his scroll...Really Natalie what would your father think if he could hear that kind of language, at least attempt to be civil would you?...Anyway I was just calling to let you know I was in town and might be paying a visit later. Ciao!" she ended the call cheerily, tossing it to the side lazily. "Lovely girl isn't she, I'm glad she's doing well. Lucas please explain the situation to our friend here."

Lucas nodded again, clearing his throat before speaking in an official tone "Joel Ambrose, my lady has ordered you to bring justice to Blake Belladonna, who you yourself said you would kill without hesitation. Do so and I suggest you make your way to some corner of the world where I'll never have to see your shameful face again. If you do not, then the task will unfortunately fall to me, in which case I will carve my way through this school executing anyone who dares stand against me for defending one of those murderous scum from teacher to student." My face paled as I took it all in. Ruby, Yang, Weiss, of course they would try to defend Blake if it came to it, JNPR almost certainly, as well as any other student caught in the middle… "If you reveal our compliance to any ranking individual in this academy, for example a teacher or the headmaster, I will pay a personal visit to the traitor Miss Corbell. And make no mistake, I WILL find her Joel, and I will send you her head, before taking Belladonna's of course. You have the week, she dies either way, you control how many follow her."

"Couldn't have said it better myself dear." Sophia rested her hand on his bicep before moving to the door, "Say goodbye honey." she exclaimed happily, helping the infant wave as it laughed, probably thinking this was all some strange joke Mommy was playing. I groaned, shaking my head out as Lucas' sword compressed, slipping back into a hidden sheath beneath his sleeve.

He spat on the floor, eyes cold as he stared down at me "Disgraceful, just like your brother. Neither of you is worthy of your grandfather's legacy."

My hands formed fists, digging furrows into the hardwood floor, "What the hell are you talking about, m-my brother is ah...is dead."

Lucas laughed, the first genuine sign of emotion since he'd entered the room. "You really did lose everything didn't you?" he asked, crouching down to my eye level, this time I was careful to avoid his gaze, looking instead at the floor. "Your brother survived Bastion, they picked him out of the rubble half dead but still alive. Spent maybe four months in a coma recuperating in Atlas before waking up. You even went to see him in fact."

"Why don't I remember?" I growled angrily, no it couldn't be. How could I forget my own damn brother being alive?

"You may have suppressed it, you tried to convince him to join our little crusade but he turned you down flat. Even reported you to the kingdom's government as a terrorist, ruined your effectiveness I'll tell you. Last time we spoke you told me you didn't have a brother." Jake...I said that, all because my little brother had the sense to see right from wrong. 'Damn it...DAMN IT!' I didn't notice Lucas leave the room, I was too consumed by what had just happened.

'Blake, I was here to kill Blake...' the thought kept playing over and over in my head again and again. It was almost funny, my memory's literally blown out of my head and I still manage to end of exactly where I needed to be, dating my own target. "Shit, it's like something out of one of Blake's novels.' I slumped forward, forehead pressed against the hard floor. And then there was Jake, my own flesh and blood, the only real family I had left apparently. I'd had my suspicions after what Penny had said but it could've been mere coincidence, but now…"He's alive…" I whispered leaning upwards, gritting my teeth so tightly it hurt, "and I disown him. Dammit!" I roared, Aura flaring as I gripped my head in my hands, fingers digging into my scalp, "FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Was it worth getting my memory back for this!? What the hell happened to me the last three years!?

"Joel? Joel!?" Blake's voice called out as she ran into the room, followed by Pyrrha, eyes wide as they stared around the room. Coming back to my senses I realized I was on my feet now, scattered and broken furniture and papers all around me. Glancing down at my hands I saw them shimmering with Aura, almost as if coated in fire. "Joel?" Blake asked nervously, I could see myself reflected in her eyes, wild looking, feral. "You said you would kill without hesitation…" My legs collapsed from underneath me as I felt my Aura give out, sending me to the ground with a loud thud. Blake shifted, ready to move to my side but stopped her with a shake of my head, just staring at the floor now, tears dripping down my face.

"Blake...stay away from me. Please, I don't deserve…!" I flinched as I felt arms wrap around me tightly, pulling me into a warm embrace. "Blake don't…"

"Shut up!" she said sharply, leaning back as she forced my head up to look at her, "I'm here for you."

"I fucked up…" I whimpered, clutching at her tightly, shaking in uncontrolled sobs as she drew me even closer, "Dammit Blake, how did I fuck things up so badly, what was wrong with...?"

"It wasn't you." she said simply, running her fingers gently through my hair, "Not anymore. Not anymore."

-END