Trigger Warning: Self Harm
Katniss POV:
Rue wakes me and I'm startled at first until I remember the alliance I formed with her the day before. I smile at her and pull myself out of the sleeping bag. We eat a quick breakfast of left over grosling and some edible berries Rue finds nearby.
"The careers are lucky they have all the supplies, I bet they don't know how to hunt and what plants are edible." Rue says, grinning at me as she enjoys small meal we share. I nod in agreement, if the careers didn't have the supplies then they would probably starve to death. I shudder at the thought of Clove starving but she if she joined Rue and I then she would be in no danger of starving. I turn to Rue. An idea strikes me suddenly.
"You said yesterday they have all their supplies in a big pile?" I ask Rue, she nods hesitantly. "That sounds tempting. " I say to her and she looks at me in confusion. I tell her about my idea to destroy the supplies and then ask Clove to join us. She seems hesitant about having a career in our alliance but I tell her that we can trust Clove. She agrees hesitantly.
We work together, building piles of wood and leaves that we plan to set on fire. The smoke should draw the careers away and hopefully keep Clove safe from whatever way I decide to destroy the supplies. I tell Rue to light the piles on fire. There are 10 piles in total each a few minutes run away from each other, that should give me enough time to figure out a plan.
"We should have a signal, in case we get held up." Rue says and I ask her what she suggests, she thinks for a moment before glancing at my mockingjay pin. She sings a few notes and mockingjays in the area pick it up, taking it through the forest. "There if you hear that it means I'm fine and I'll be back soon."
I nod and sing a few notes back. I'm pleased the mockingjays pick up my tune and Rue grins, "You have a nice voice." Suddenly she throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist in a hug, I hug her back tightly. "Be back soon Katniss." She whispers before running off to light the first fire.
I watch her go, she reminds me so much of Prim, I smile at the thought before making my way towards the cornucopia. I see the supplies piled up in the middle of the clearing. I frown when I see the fresh earth surrounding it indicating the ground around it had been dug up recently.
The Careers and the boy from 3 sit underneath the cornucopia, Cato stands up suddenly and points into the distance. I glance over and see the smoke of our first fire. The boy from 1 stands up and Clove follows him. Cato turns to the boy from 3 and says something to him, he nods and Cato, Clove and the boy from 1 run off towards the smoke.
I squint examining the situation. The boy from 3 clutches a spear and looks around unsurely as if expecting someone to spring out behind him. I look back to the freshly dug earth trying to figure out what they've done.
Suddenly a red haired girl springs out of the trees, I recognise her as the girl from District 5. I had nicknamed her Foxface when I saw her in the training room because she seems to be as sly and elusive as a fox. Foxface jumps around the freshly dug earth, only standing on certain areas.
She reaches the supplies pile and grabs some food before running off, The boy from 3 sees her and chases her. I frown in confusion, my eyes are drawn to the pedestals that we had to stand on before the games started. Freshly dug earth surrounds them too and I realise that they've moved the land mines and reset them. That probably explains why they allied with the boy from 3.
I notice a bag of apples hanging from the supplies pile. I slowly reach for an arrow and nock it. I shoot and miss, I try again 3 more times only hitting the bag rather than ripping it like I wanted to. My 5th arrow rips the bag and the apples tumble out.
As the apples hit the floor the explosion is instant. I'm blown back slightly and my ears start to ring. I cough and open my eyes, I quickly retreat behind a bush as the Careers return to the Cornucopia. Cato grabs the boy from 3 and shouts at him but I can't hear anything besides the ringing in my ears. I watch as Cato viciously snaps the boys neck. I notice the Boy from 1 is nowhere to be seen and Clove stands off to the side staring at the decimated pile with an unreadable expression.
I turn and sneak away, as I move my hearing slowly comes back and I'm glad of this. I reach the last fire to find it hasn't been lit. I look around urgently. Where's Rue? I sing a few notes that the mockingjays pick up, desperately hoping to hear a reply.
"Katniss!" I hear a cry and I dash towards the sound. Rue is hanging from a tree in a net. I rush towards her cutting her down. I hug her tightly, glad that she's ok. I scrunch my eyes shut and when I open them I see the boy from 1 a few metres away from me.
I push Rue away from me and nock an arrow just as the boy throws his spear. I release the arrow and hit him straight in the neck. He splutters on the floor for a moment before becoming still, the cannon tells me he's dead. I turn to Rue and see her lying on the ground. No! I kneel down beside her and she pulls the spear out of her stomach.
"Rue…It'll…It'll be ok." I whisper trying desperately to stop the bleeding, she shakes her head, she knows it's hopeless. She reaches for my hand and I grip it tightly.
"Will you sing?" She asks and I nod, starting to sing the lullaby that I used to sing to Prim. When I finish the song Rue lets out a long breath and becomes very still. A cannon sounds in the distance. I can't stop the tears as I realise she's dead. I scrunch my eyes shut and cry over her body.
She was only 12! She shouldn't have died! She shouldn't have even been here! I open my eyes and stare into her lifeless eyes for a moment. Gently I close her eyes, I notice some white wild flowers a short distance away and wander over to them. I gather as many as I can and set them around her.
I don't know how long it takes me but I don't stop until Rue is lying on a bed of flowers and is holding a bouquet. I press my middle three fingers to my lips and then hold them into the air, giving her my districts sign of respect.
I turn and stroll away, desperate to get as much distance away from the body as I can. I come to a pool of water and I frantically scrub Rue's blood from my hands, a sob escapes me and soon I'm crying hysterically. I need to calm down, It's not good to be this loud.
I can barely breath as I curl up into a ball letting my emotions take over, I can't do this anymore, I just can't! I reach for my knife, I need relief, I need control. I pull up my sleeves and draw the knife along my arm.
My arm stings as the blood start to flow out of the wound. I raise the knife and add another line to my am and then another. When I raise my knife to add a fourth line a hands shoots out grabbing my wrist, stopping me from lowering the knife to harm myself further.
I struggle against the person who's stopping me from getting the relief I need. "Katniss, stop this. Please!" I blink at the sound of a familiar voice, pleading with me. I look up into Clove's face, Her eyes are filled with pain. I drop the knife at the sight of her and suddenly find myself being pulled into her arms.
"It's ok." She whispers as I start to sob uncontrollably into her shoulder. "It's ok." She says again but I can no longer control myself. I can't breathe, it hurts so much. I feel Clove getting agitated. "Please Katniss, it's not safe, if we're discovered…." But I can't stop, I can't be silent. I know that I'm putting her in danger but I can't stifle my sobs.
"I'm..S…Sorry." I choke out when I fail at keeping silent, Clove tightens her hold on me.
"Shh, it's ok." I feel her kiss my head and I melt into her.
I'm not sure how long it takes me to calm down. but eventually my sobs fade. I take a shuddering breath and keep my eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of being so close to Clove. She gently pushes me away and looks me in the eyes.
I stare into her beautiful green eyes and before I can stop myself lean in to kiss her. Wanting my lips on hers. She kisses me back, briefly I wonder what Haymitch is making of this, I wonder if he's angry at me but soon find myself getting lost in the feeling of Clove's lips on mine.
Clove pulls away first she smiles at me slightly but I can't seem to return it. She looks down and see's my arm. "Katniss!" She exclaims and I look down, I feel slightly sick at what I see. It's not too bad really, but it's a lot worse than what I usually do. I look back to Clove to see tears in her eyes and I instantly feel guilty.
"I'm sorry." I whisper but Clove shakes her head, she places a kiss on my forehead.
"Don't be." She says, she reaches for a bottle of water at her belt and I suddenly realise she has nothing on her but that bottle. Her bag is gone and so is her vest of knives. Clove puts some water on my wounds and I hiss as it causes the sting to increase slightly. "Sorry, we've got to keep them clean." Clove murmurs and I nod slowly.
"We? Aren't you going back to Cato?" I ask and I'm pleased when she shakes her head.
"Marvel's dead, I don't want to be alone with him." She says, she places a hand on my cheek. "Besides, you need me right now." She whispers and I nod, leaning into her touch.
"Marvel was the boy from 1?" I ask and Clove nods, I notice a slight sadness in her eyes. Marvel killed Rue and I killed him, I feel a stab of guilt at this thought. I was just defending myself and trying to protect Rue I tell myself but it doesn't help.
"He killed Rue…" I whisper and Clove nods, I try to tell her that I killed him, to tell her I'm sorry but I can't seem to get my mouth to work.
"And you killed him." She says knowingly, I nod slowly, avoiding looking her in the eyes.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, Clove reaches for my hands and squeezes it slightly.
"You did what you had to." She murmurs and when I look at her I'm glad to see she's not angry or upset with me. I smile slightly and she grins at me. "You're prettier when you smile." She whispers before kissing me. I return the kiss eagerly, she pulls and away and I can't help but be a little disappointed.
"We should keep moving." She says standing up. I nod and follow suit gathering up my things as I do so. I pull down my sleeve, hoping to protect the cuts from infection, I wish I had a bandage but I'll have to make do with just keeping my sleeve down.
"What happened to your bag and knives?" I ask, she tenses and sighs.
"When Cato discovered Marvel was dead he decided he wanted to… Have some fun." She looks away, "He got my knife vest and bag off me before I got away. I guess Cato has them now."
I scowl angrily at a tree, wishing I could kill Cato right now. How dare he try that again. I will not let him harm Clove in any way. "We'll get them back." I state . Clove rolls her eyes playfully.
"It doesn't matter, come on let's get moving." She starts walking towards the river. I run to catch up with her, walking close to her, glad that she's here with me now.