Hello, I'm glad that people are enjoying this story (as frustrating as it can be on occasion), here is the next part.
Linda
***
Chapter 21
While helping Martha and Chloe with the cooking Lana's mind rapidly ran through the events earlier in the day.
When they were eating lunch, for just a moment she'd thought Lois had figured out how she felt about her, but soon realised that was impossible. Lois was a good actress, but she was too straight forward, too blunt, if Lois knew, she wouldn't be able to help herself; she would have confronted her, even if it meant requesting a private conversation in the middle of lunch. Just like Joanne, she wouldn't have been polite about it. But just in case she was wrong, in case Lois had seen more than she should, if Lois said anything to her, then just as she had dealt with Joanne, she'd deal with Lois, by wiping the knowledge from her mind.
She knew that Lois had seen her love for Clark, but considering that Lois didn't want him, then Lois knowing that could only be to her benefit.
Closing here eyes for a moment, she revelled in hearing Clark say that he had only ever wanted to marry her. She'd wanted a sign and got it, it was her he had wanted; HER and hearing that made her heart glad.
She just needed a little more, just enough for him to admit that he still wanted her, just one sign and when it came she would be ready. Joanne might have confused him, taken advantage of his vulnerability, but while she wasn't here, cracks in his affections were already showing. Clark had admitted to only wanting to marry her. Lois, Joanne whatever she called herself could never touch Clark's heart the way she did and soon he would admit that too.
She couldn't wait to be back in his arms, to feel his warmth surrounding her and she especially couldn't wait to see the look on Lois' face when Clark told her that he had NEVER loved her, that all she'd been to him was an available body.
Clark wouldn't say those exact words but Lois would know, she'd finally realise that Clark had never, and could never be hers and Lana couldn't wait for that day. Clark loved her, he was trying to fight it but he'd already admitted that he'd only ever wanted to marry her and it wouldn't be long before he admitted that he'd made a mistake and came back to her; just one sign that's all she needed, just one.
***
Lois had been enjoying her run, she had intended to take it easy, to pace herself but as usual her competitive nature had come into play and it hadn't been long before her pace had picked up speed and she was racing Shelby. They had made it to his girlfriend's house and while the two dogs frolicked, she'd sat under a tree catching her breath. She had decided to run a little further down the road so 20 minutes later told Shelby that she'd pick him up on the way back and started on her way, he'd barked and started to follow but she'd patiently promised to get him on her return journey and as he'd run back to his girlfriend she figured he understood.
Her mind had been blank; she'd just been enjoying the feeling of her muscles limbering up, feeling loose, and had kept running, only stopping when the stitch in her side had made itself known.
Knowing there was no way she could make the return journey until the pain stopped she moved off the side of the road and lay down in the long grass and quietly relaxed, determinedly keeping her mind blank.
***
"How'd it go?" Chloe asked when Clark walked in the door.
"Well, the Justice League hasn't heard anything but I already knew that because they would have called me. However, they are going to investigate, and see if anything turns up." He shrugged.
"It's a start honey." Martha smiled encouragingly.
"Yeah, oh I checked on Lex too, I don't believe he's involved."
"Well it was a long shot but at least you can cross him off the list, right?" Lana asked softly.
"No I won't cross him off the list, just move him down." Clark refuted.
"Who wants coffee?" At the quick nods and calls of yes, Martha poured the coffee, and after placing a plate of biscuits on the table joined the others.
"Clark, Lois hasn't come back yet, can you hear if she's ok?" Chloe asked quietly.
"She's fine Chlo; I've been keeping an ear on her." He smiled reassuringly.
"Thanks, I knew that but I just wanted to make sure. I didn't want to go after her because she's only been gone just over an hour and I don't want her to feel like we can't let her out of our sight, but I was getting a little anxious." Chloe confessed with a lop sided smile.
"Its fine Chlo and I don't blame you. If I couldn't hear her, I would have gone after her by now." And seeing the same resolution in his mom's eyes, he understood that they were all worried about Lois, but each were trying to ensure that they didn't let fear take over.
"Mom, I don't know if we're still going to Metropolis or not, but either way how about I buy us all dinner tonight. It'll save you having to cook that on top of everything else."
"Actually that's not a bad idea." Chloe smiled and Martha gave her heart felt approval by nodding eagerly.
"Listen mom, I know you were set on throwing Lois and I an engagement party, but neither of us expected you to do all the cooking when Lo wanted to have it here, are you sure you don't want me to call a few people, order in some stuff." Clark asked grasping his mom's hand.
"No honey, I want to do it. It's not a big party, and Chloe and I are only making the main dishes and a few cakes. The majority of the food, the appetisers, deserts etc have already been ordered, Lois wouldn't hear any different on that as I'm sure you remember, so it's really not all that much, it just looks like it." Martha affirmed with a smile.
"Chlo…"
"Don't even start Clark, I wanted to help, no one asked me, I pushed my way in remember?" At his nod, her eyes twinkled and her lips started to twitch. "And as you know, Lois offered to help earlier, after all, she has watched a couple of cooking shows on TV and she knows how to make a homemade bomb, so we can always get her to help, right Martha."
"Why yes, I thought it was very nice of her to want to help." Martha grinned.
The looks of amusement flew around the table and before long everyone began to laugh. "Poor Lois, when she started muttering and then got louder because we were ignoring her less than subtle hints I wanted to laugh, but when she actually compared cooking to making a homemade bomb I had to bite my cheek." Martha chuckled and wiped her eyes.
"I know all I could think was that her cooking was as deadly as a bomb." Clark snorted, causing all the occupants to laugh again.
"Martha I'd be more than happy to help." Lana offered once the laughter died down. "After all, now that I'm going to be hanging around, I might as well make myself useful."
"Are you sure Lana, I know that you're busy with the Talon."
"I was busy with the Talon before Lois conscripted me to hang around 24/7," Lana replied with a smile and seeing the grateful look in Martha's eyes, nodded. "But if Lois still wants to go to Metropolis what should I do?"
"You might as well come with us Lana because she'll just find a way to talk you into it anyway." Clark replied dryly.
"But don't you want Lois to yourself?"
"Yeah but I don't want her to be uncomfortable, so if she asks you to join us, feel free."
"Tell you what, if she asks, I'll come but disappear when we get there, leaving you two alone. I can make up some excuse, then we can all meet up later and she won't feel like I'm letting her down by not being around in case I remember something."
"That's not only really sneaky but really good." Chloe said admiringly.
"Thanks I think so too."
While the women discussed what Lana could make, Clark silently drank his coffee, Lex's words kept reverberating through his head and suddenly like a door opening he remembered "Oh my god!"
"Clark what's wrong?" Martha asked quickly. Her sons' voice had surprised everyone. He sounded disturbed and looking at his face she was concerned at the shaken cast to his features.
"I just remembered, Lex…I was thinking about what he said and…but I never thought…"
"Clark what, what did Lex say?" Chloe asked shaking his arm.
"Lex said some stuff about me years ago and I was thinking about it. God 8 years ago, the second day when Lois was in the Medical Centre after you and Chloe had gone to sleep I went up to the loft. I was worried about Lois, hoping she'd be ok and I remember desperately wanting her to have a future so I imagined dancing with her at her wedding, teasing her before passing her onto her husband and then me, mom and you looking back on the time Lo was in the hospital and just being glad that she was ok." Clark stopped talking and scrubbed his hands over his face.
"What's wrong with that, it sounds like a nice memory." Chloe asked sharing a confused look with Martha and Lana.
"No, Chloe you don't understand. I was thinking about Lois at her wedding, and then, then god, this is embarrassing…" He broke off, looked at Lana and his face flushed. "I was thinking of dancing with Lois at her wedding; then I started imagining Lana and I dancing at our wedding …." Seeing the looks of understanding flying around the table he flushed darker and stopped.
"Clark, it's ok, we all know what you were like then, if you were thinking about weddings and Lana didn't enter your mind, it would have been unusual." Chloe patted his hand and shared an amused look with Martha.
"No, it's not that Chloe, I was thinking about us…." he said gesturing to Lana, thankful that her face didn't show any embarrassment, and continued at her encouraging nod. "Then all of a sudden I got the most awful feeling. I didn't know what it was, but I was sure that something had happened to you, I was sure that you were dead and panicked. I raced over to the Luthor Mansion to find out if you were ok; I was just about to x-ray the house when I saw you on the balcony and I watched you, just relieved that you were alive. I couldn't explain the feeling I had and in the end just assumed that whatever was wrong with Lois was playing tricks on my mind. I knew something was wrong but I didn't connect it to Lois, I connected it to Lana." Clark finished quietly.
There was silence in the room for a few minutes.
"You thought Lana died, but this happened on the second night." Chloe confirmed quietly.
"Yeah. Hell, Lois was dying and somehow I knew it, but I didn't even think of her in the Medical Centre, I just knew something was wrong and thought of Lana." Clark rubbed his hand over the back of his neck then pushed out of his seat to pace.
"Did you have any other feelings like that?" At his head shake Chloe pressed on. "Think back Clark, if you've only remembered this now, then maybe there other times and if so, maybe we can… I don't know; maybe have a heads up if anything's going to happen?"
He sat back down and tried to think back 8 years previously. Chloe, Martha and Lana stayed quiet giving him peace instead of firing questions at him, but the anxious expressions on their faces couldn't be quelled.
When his face contorted they knew he'd remembered more. "You've remembered something else?" Martha asked softly.
"Yeah when Chloe and I were driving to Carlton Gorge, I was trying to cheer you up that Lois would be ok, remember Chlo?" at her quick nod he continued. "Well as I was driving I had a, I don't want to say premonition, but it's the only word that fits, I had a premonition that whatever happened to Lois was going to affect me, hurt me personally." He stopped to take a deep breath. "Lois was a friend and I didn't want to see her hurt, and I didn't want to see either you or mom upset so thought I was just worrying for all of you, but I didn't see how whatever happened to Lois could affect me specifically, and just shook the feeling of as ridiculous." Clark gave a short humourless bark of laughter. "That's twice, there could be other times, and if there were then more than likely I would have either dismissed the feelings or connected them to Lana, not Lois." He concluded shaking his head in disgust.
"Clark it's natural, at that time in your life, you and Lois were just friends and Lana pretty much occupied your thoughts."
"It makes me feel sick mom. If anything happened to Lois back then, I would have been sad that a friend was dead long before her time, and I would have been hurt, but that would have been it." Clark replied sadly.
"Clark you can't go back and change how you felt, if Lois, sorry Joanne was here, she'd say the same thing. Neither of you knew how you'd feel in the future." Chloe interposed calmly.
"I know Chlo, I know but…I'm sorry Lana, this must be uncomfortable as hell for you." Clark turned and seeing the flush of colour in Lana's face, smiled crookedly. He admired the way she tried to make him feel better, regardless of her own discomfort.
"It's ok, we all know how the two of us felt, it's not exactly a secret, so don't worry about it, ok?" She said patting his hand.
Clark nodded. "Yeah, um look, I'm just going outside. I want to try and remember if there were any other times." He opened the door then turned back. "Don't tell Lois, you know what she'll think and….please just don't tell her." He said before stepping out and closing the door.
He stood on the porch for a moment wondering where to go, when he saw Lois leaning against the fence near the head of the driveway. Her heart sounded fine, she looked ok, but he raced to her anyway.
"Lo are you ok?" He asked concerned.
"Yeah, just ran too far and got a stitch." Turning around she put her arms on the fence, dropped her head and stretched out one leg then the other. "Can we do Metropolis tomorrow, I'm not really in the mood today?"
"That's fine."
"God I feel really exhausted and tight, does Joanne still run?" She asked lifting her head.
"Sometimes but not as much, she doesn't have the time." He smiled "Do you want me to carry you back to the house?"
"Do my legs look broken?" She asked with lifted brow.
He couldn't help but chuckle, no matter what her age Lois was an independent woman. When she sat down on the grass, he sat beside her. "I can give you a massage if you want." He quietly offered.
"Ah, no that's ok, a hot shower and I'll be fine. What's up?" She was also perceptive and straight to the point.
"Nothing." He replied promptly not surprised that she knew he was troubled and trying to hide it.
"Don't give me that. When Skipper wears that face he's thinking of Lana or has Lana troubles, so c'mon give." She said impatiently.
"Skipper?" Clark inquired.
"Yeah, I got sick of saying young Clark in my head, so Skipper." She replied lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
"I should have known." He chuckled and laughed harder when she smacked him on the arm.
"Stop it, I can't help it. All these Lois and Clark's get confusing."
"Uh huh. I notice you get the nice normal name of Joanne, and I get Skipper."
"Well it serves you right for trying to lump such a crappy name on Shelby." She countered.
"I picked Skippy."
"Oh yeah, that's so much better." Lois drawled.
"I'm going to have to come up with a nick name for you." Clark smiled.
"Farmboy don't even try, you can't even name a dog, much less a person."
"He was my first dog!"
"Whatever; now are you going to tell me what's wrong or not?"
"I'm just frustrated I guess. I contacted the Justice League; remember I told you about them?" At her nod; "well they haven't heard anything and I checked on Lex but I don't think he's involved."
"I doubt Lex would be involved. He's a snake in the grass, but this just seems too, 'out there' for him." Lois replied shaking her head.
"Yeah, I didn't think he'd be involved either but it had to be checked."
"Well it's only for 2 more days, remember I said at the beginning that maybe I leave just as suddenly as I arrived. Maybe none of us have to do anything."
"Then what was the point of bringing you here, for any of it?"
"I don't know but you said it could have been a mistake, or an experiment, maybe that's all it was. I mean you all said that it never happened again, right?" She nodded her head when he did "So…"
"You don't seem very worried."
"I was earlier when you told me what happened to Joanne, but worrying gets you nowhere; all it does is confuse the mind." She shrugged.
"Lo?"
"Hmm."
"If this had happened to Skipper, if he was in the Medical Centre I mean, how would you feel?"
"I'd be worried, I'd want to know what happened or how to fix it, Skippers a pain in the ass, but he's a nice guy. Why do you ask?"
"I guess I was just wondering." She nodded her head in understanding.
Getting up they walked down the driveway and parted ways, her back to the house and he to the barn.
***
Clark thought about his fiancé while doing the farm chores, when he and Lois had been talking and laughing before lunch, he'd felt their connection again, it hadn't been there since Joanne was gone but he'd felt it then. He'd missed laughing with her and talking with her. Just talking about everyday things, but most of all he missed looking into Lois' eyes and seeing love. All he'd seen since this started was anger, and confusion. Today was the first time he'd seen genuine friendship again, but she wasn't Joanne, right now she was still Lois. He couldn't behave with her as they usually did, they were getting along better today but it still wasn't the same.
While sitting with her on the grass, he'd desperately wanted to put his arms around her. He didn't even have the luxury of holding her hand and he missed it. He missed reaching out just to touch her, to kiss her, to wake up and find her lying next to him. The last time they had made love was the night before they came to Smallville, and it scared him thinking that could be the last time ever.
Joanne had been gone three days, she was supposed to be back early evening the day after tomorrow, that was when Lois had woken up 8 years ago; early evening, and if Lois was right, he'd have his fiancé back in two days, she would return as suddenly as she left. But if Lois was wrong …
After finishing the chores he went up to the loft, lay down on his bed and held her engagement ring. Yawning he tucked the ring under the pillow, and closed his eyes trying to recall any other instances that could have been significant 8 years ago but nothing came to mind. Maybe they'd come with time, he wanted them too, if only to be able to know when something was going to happen, but he also dreaded it.
When his eyes opened he was surprised to note that the sun was lower than before and looking at his watch was shocked to realise that he must have fallen asleep. When he lay down it had been almost 2.30pm it was now almost 6pm.
Closing his eyes tight, he opened them to stare at the loft ceiling. He'd gone to sleep thinking of the past and woken up with memories of that time and now realised that he'd been asleep and dreaming. He didn't have any blinding realisations, he didn't have any premonitions that he could remember, but he did remember a lot of his thoughts and his feelings.
From the first moment they realised that Lois had switched, all he could remember of that time was being concerned about Lois, and almost frantic that Lana was headed to the alter with Lex. Jumbled memories of that time rushed through his head, lifting up he retrieved he engagement ring from under his pillow and held it in his hand just staring at it.
When he felt the hand on his shoulder he looked up and saw his mom sitting next to his legs. He didn't realise he'd been crying until she wiped her fingers across his cheek.
"Clark, what's wrong honey?" Martha said quietly rubbing his shoulder.
"God mom, everything." He sat up and put his head on her shoulder while the tears continued to trickle down his cheeks silently.
After he'd walked out the kitchen door looking miserable, she'd gone against her desire to talk with him, and gave him the space she felt that he needed. Every now and again she'd glanced out the kitchen window and could see that although he was doing the chores, his mind was elsewhere, and it hadn't been hard to figure out who was on his mind. But when he'd disappeared into the barn and didn't come out 30 minutes later, she'd checked and found him fast asleep. Knowing that Clark hadn't been sleeping well for the past few days, she'd quietly turned and left, but when two hours had passed she'd checked on him again and at finding him awake, with tears streaking his face while looking at Lois' engagement ring she couldn't walk away again.
He'd been so deep in thought that he hadn't even been aware of her presence. She hated to see her son so upset, he hadn't been this way in years, ever since he came back after his training he'd been stronger, more sure of himself and happy. She'd never seen her son so happy, but the last few days had been an emotional roller coaster for him and it was clear that he needed his mom. Rubbing her hand over his back she let him stew for several minutes, before getting up to grab some tissues and sitting down again.
"Thanks mom, I guess you knew I needed someone huh?" His mouth smiled but his eyes were weary.
"I'm just glad that you still need your mom." She said rubbing his back.
"I'll always need my mom." He said quietly. "I fell asleep and…"
"Did you remember something else, is that what happened?" Martha questioned quietly.
"Yeah, I fell asleep trying to remember more and when I woke up I had memories of that time." He swallowed, looked away then back into Martha's face and quietly confided "I never told you this, I never told anyone, I'd forgotten about it, maybe I just didn't want to remember…" he sadly shook his head "…but when Lois was in the Medical Centre 8 years ago, I was sorry for her, I really was mom, but…but I was glad it wasn't Lana. I was ashamed to feel like that, but I was." He said quietly. "Everything that happened mom, everything I put in context with Lana, I hardly thought of Lois at all." He pressed his face into his mom's shoulder but when she began to speak lifted his head and looked into her eyes.
"I'm sure that's not true. You were concerned about Lois, you helped Clark; you tried to find out what was wrong. I know back then you thought you loved Lana, so it's only natural that she was on your mind…"
"No mom, you don't understand, everything was about Lana. When Lois died the other night, back then I knew something was wrong, but even though Lois was in the hospital she didn't even enter my mind, I thought something was wrong with Lana. When I had a premonition that whatever happened to Lois was going to affect me specifically I shrugged it off as ridiculous because she was just a friend. I was sad about Lois, I was sad that her life might be over when she was still so young, thought it wasn't fair, but that's it mom, that's as far as I thought of Lois, then almost immediately I thought it wasn't fair that Lana was going to marry Lex instead of me." He looked down at the engagement ring, placed it on his pillow and back into his mom's face.
"I know that Lana was all I used to think about, that I believed we belonged together, but to now remember that Lois could have died, and I would have been grateful that it wasn't Lana, god mom what does that say about me?" He asked rubbing his eyes with his fists.
"Honey, you were young, unfortunately Lana was on your mind completely; you can't go back and change that." Martha paused then asked quietly "Clark you mentioned Lex before …."
"Yeah, when I went to see Lex he had a lot to say about my behaviour when he was with Lana. I can't get what he said out of my mind, maybe that's what stirred it all up, but…"
"What did he say?" She interrupted quietly.
"You really don't wanna hear it mom" he looked down at his hands then back up, and in his eyes she could see both pain and grief "Suffice it to say, Lex thinks Clark Kent's a miserable scumbag with the morals of an alley cat, and Lana Lang runs a close second." He said giving a tight cheerless smile.
"He had no right!" Martha fired up in defence of her son.
"He did mom, he had every right, and that's why it hurts so much." Clark quietly countered shaking his head. "I never hesitated to point out someone else's mistakes or wrong doing; especially Lex's, but I was completely blind to both my own and Lana's. Even after I kidnapped her, after I told Lex that I should have left him to die, after I almost to killed him; all I was concerned about was stopping the marriage. I was completely indifferent to what I'd done, as far as I was concerned, Lana and I were the victims. God mom, how did I ever sink so low?" He asked in a voice full of self loathing.
"You were young honey." Martha soothed unable to offer anything but a maternal ear and shoulder.
"That's not an excuse, as Lex pointed out; I knew what I was doing." Clark lifted his head and continued quietly. "I'm not trying to paint him all white, he didn't even try to do that, but although Lana and I had plenty to say about him, he was never given a chance to say anything. No one; myself included would have listened, not without interrupting to point out his own misdeeds." He swallowed hard and took a shaky breath "But the truth is, if Lex had wanted to, he could have hung Lana and I out to dry years ago." He nodded and his eyes showed stark truth "Lex has money and influence, he even owned The Daily Planet at one time, he could have taken out a front page add and told the world what he told me today." He said shaking his head "You know how much people love scandal and dirt, they would have slavered over every word, and enough dirt would have stuck to both Lana and I, that even today people would look at us and question, but he never did that." Clark paused and took a deep breath. "He even didn't care if Superman believed him or not, I think he just wanted a chance to speak out for once, to finally say, 'this is how these two so called good people treated me'."
"And how did you feel hearing it?" Martha asked softly.
"Not good, it was damn hard but I owed it to him. I tried to point out that Clark was young when it happened, but Lex took that to mean that Superman saw no wrong in Clark's behaviour, and I couldn't let him believe that because I know that I was wrong, so in the end I just let him speak. He doesn't know I'm Superman, a couple of times I thought he might have guessed because he looked at me so closely but I don't believe he does. Lex and I are enemies mom, we always will be, but I just hope that by listening to him, by letting him speak out and get it of his chest, it will finally give him some peace."
"You're a good man Clark, not many people would wish their enemy peace."
"I want him to have peace from what I did. No matter who they are, I have no right to wish death on anyone." He shook his head sadly "That was hateful and Lex didn't deserve it. I didn't even say it because I thought he was evil, or because of anything he'd done. I can't try and justify it because there's nothing that can make it acceptable, but what makes it even worse is that I said, did it, for one reason only, because I was jealous that Lana was with him. My behaviour was beneath contempt and I'm heartily ashamed of it, but that doesn't mean that I want him to have peace for the wrong doing he now perpetrates."
"I know honey, but it takes a strong person to admit when they've wronged someone so badly; especially their enemy, that they want them to have some peace, I'm proud of you for it." Martha replied kissing him on the forehead. "But listening to what he said, you still don't think he's involved?"
"No, I listened to everything he said mom, but I also gauged his heart and his pulse and he never once lied, everything he said, he believed completely. I know that some of what he said was right on the mark and some of it was way off, but he believed it." Clark stated simply, took a deep breath and went on "When Lex comes at Superman, even when he does it in a roundabout way, he usually goes for the jugular; this just isn't his style. I think if Lex was going to get into magic to stir up trouble, he might try it on Clark or Lana but I don't believe he'd waste his time on them, and that's what he would consider it, a waste of his time. So no I don't think he's involved at all." Clark smiled sadly "But listening to him, having my past thrown in my face must have been what stirred up memories of that time I guess."
"I'm sorry Clark; I know it wouldn't have been easy hearing all that, especially on top of this whole situation which has been hard enough on you, so I'm sorry." She said quietly hugging him tight.
"It's ok, as I said I owed it to him." Clark put his head back on Martha's shoulder "I miss Lois mom, I'm used to her being here, to being with me and …." He trailed off and grew quiet.
"I know and I know it's not the same but I miss her too. I'm used to seeing you happy, to seeing you and Lois together, you will be again sweetie I promise, you just have to hold on." She quietly soothed rubbing his back.
"If Lois died 8 years ago my life now would be so different, so bleak and empty. I might not even realise it, but it would be. And to now remember that I could only think about Lana instead of Lois in the hospital…." Clark said quietly.
"No one will say anything to Lois, but Clark you can't change how you thought and felt back then, you can't change any of it, so please just let it go?" She urged.
"I will mom, I guess just remembering it now kind of hit me y'know." He said raising his head and giving a weary smile.
"I do, but please don't let the past rule your life Clark, it really serves no purpose ok?" at his nod, she smiled. "Come inside Sweetie, come and join everyone."
"I will in a few minutes. Thanks mom, I guess just as Lex had to get it off his chest, I had to as well, so thank you for listening."
"You're welcome sweetie, I'll always be here if you need me" Martha smiled, kissed him on the cheek and went back to the house.
Clark sat on the bed, picked up the ring and looked at, before placing it back under his pillow and smoothing his hand over it.
Picking up his wallet he opened it to a photo of Lois and himself, stroking his finger over her face he smiled softly. "I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry that this happened to you and I was so infatuated with Lana that I hardly thought about you. Please come back to me Lo." Placing his wallet back down, he walked over, sat on the couch and closed his eyes, his mind once again drifting into memory.
He had just put the lasagne in the oven when he heard the front door opening and smelt her, and by god she smelt good.
"Clark I'm ho.... umh." His body pressed her up against the front door while his mouth claimed hers.
"What was that for?" She asked in surprise when he raised his head.
"I can't help it; whatever they rubbed and scrubbed you with at that beauty salon smells heavenly.' He bent down to kiss her neck while his hands kept busy tugging her shirt loose.
"Yeah, it's not bad and my whole body feels like a wet noodle. I had a gorgeous, six foot Swedish masseur by the name of Sven who gave me a full body massage." She tilted her head to give him better access, while her hands snuck under his shirt.
"I hope you're joking." He smiled kissing along her jaw.
"Yeah, I am" and when he nodded in approval, she laughed. "He was actually French and his name was Pierre."
"Lo, don't make me go kill this guy!" He warned lifting his head.
"Oh, calm down, it was a woman."
"Good, I'm the only man allowed to give you a full body massage, or any other type of massage." He quickly amended before she could get a word in.
"You mean you're the only man who's allowed to cop a feel." She replied dryly.
"Exactly!" He responded glad she understood.
"By the way Chlo's coming over for dinner, so I hope you made enough for three, if not we'll have to order out." Lois said, pushing lightly on his chest so she could wiggle out from being pinned against the door, then walked over and sat on the couch.
He followed, pulled her into his lap and had just touched his lips to her cheek when her words registered. "What; why'd you have to go and invite her over for?"
"Because after relaxing at the salon all day and being rubbed down, she also feels as lazy as I do, so I told her to come round and join us." Lois smiled running one hand up and down his arm.
"Ok, we have to get organised, the next time you go to the salon, you come home alone, you don't invite anyone else over and we go straight to bed."
"Now see, that's what I love about you, you're just so romantic." She grinned fluttering her eyelashes.
"That's right sugar, you smell delicious and now I'm horny." He pushed her down on the couch and made exaggerated passionate noises against her neck, she squealed and began to chortle; raising his head his laughing eyes smiled into hers. "Well if Chloe's coming over then we don't have much time for what I have in mind." He said beginning to unbutton her shirt.
She slapped his hands. "We don't have any time buddy, you're gonna have to wait until after she goes home."
"But Lo?" He whined.
"Forget it, and take your hand out from under my shirt." She said laughing.
"But Lo, you can't come home smelling like that and expect me to keep my hands to myself."
"Oh yes I can, think of the anticipation."
"I'm sure we have time for a quickie."
"Our quickies are never quick." She swiftly refuted before he could get his hopes up.
"But Lo…?"
"Forget it!" She said unsympathetically before grabbing him by the shirt front, pulling him down, rubbing herself all over him and giving him a deep hard kiss.
He had her pressed back into the couch cushions and her shirt half unbuttoned when the door bell rang.
"This is all your fault, if you'd let me have my way, we'd be putting our clothes back on by now." He pressed his face into her hair and let out a choked laugh.
"If you seriously ever think it's going to be that fast, then I really will go out and find Sven." She mock threatened.
"You dare woman!"
The three of them had barely started dinner when he heard the unmistakeable sound of sirens and had to leave.
He had left them with a hurried apology and flown out the door. The night had been unbearable, one tragedy after another, a train derailment in Metropolis, then a multi car pileup in California, a flood in one country, a fire in another, eventually he'd lost track of time, flying here and there. He had finally dragged himself home exhausted almost 7 hours later. He'd expected to find Lois in bed fast asleep but when he'd flown in the window he found a different scene to what he expected.
"Clark is that you?"
"Yeah Lo, sorry I took so long."
"You bastard! Where the hell have you been?" He was lucky he saw the punch coming and was able to let her hit him without breaking her hand. He had no sooner felt her fist connect with his jaw before she all but climbed up his legs, wrapped herself around him and began to cry.
"Baby what's wrong?" He asked quietly, rubbing his hands over her back.
"Don't you baby me." She sobbed into his shoulder. He could barely understand her; she was crying and muttering something about signs. He didn't know what was wrong but clearly something was. He looked up and saw Chloe standing in the lounge, she began to talk under her breath, explaining that his shirt was lost, and it didn't take him long to realise what she meant before she disappeared into the kitchen to give them some privacy.
He sat on the couch with Lois in his lap, her arms were wrapped tight around his neck and her face pressed hard against his shoulder. He listened to her weep about signs, just quietly rubbing his hands over her back, letting her know that he was home and ok. He hated to see Lois so upset, it had taken him almost 15 minutes to calm her down but he never once teased her about her disbelief in signs. This wasn't a joking matter; she'd been genuinely concerned that something had happened to him.
"I'm ok baby, I'm here." He said quietly when her crying was reduced to sniffles.
"I know, but after a while there was nothing on the news and I couldn't find your shirt. I don't know where it is Clark, it's gone."
"We'll find it."
"I've looked, it's gone. I know it's stupid but...but I thought you were gone too."
"Lo, nothing will ever stop me from coming home to you, nothing, ok?"
At her nod, he bent down gave her a quick kiss, and held her for a while longer. When he was sure she was ok, he sat her on the couch and walked into their bedroom. That's when he saw it; every item of clothing they owned was thrown haphazardly around the room, there wasn't an article left hanging in the closets or tucked in the drawers. The bed was in disarray, the covers half on the floor, half still tucked into the mattress, the bedroom was a complete mess.
He picked up one of his flannel shirts from the floor, walked back into the lounge and quietly offered it to her. When she laughed and told him that giving her one defeated the purpose, that she had to steal it, he knew the crisis was past. He sat beside her and she all but curled up into him, not even pulling away when Chloe came back into the room carrying a coffee tray.
The three of them had coffee, and when Lois said good night and excused herself for a shower, he silently gestured for Chloe to stay behind.
"What happened Chlo, I know you told me the shirts missing but…"
"Clark she was fine, we ate dinner, watched the news for a while and saw you in California and everything was ok. Afterwards we watched a movie and when it was over, I was getting ready to leave when Lo switched on the news again, but there was nothing, she began to flip channels but there nothing on any of them. You'd been gone about 3 hours by then; I ended up staying because I could see she was worried. After a while Lois excused herself and went into the bedroom, but when she didn't return after 20 minutes I got concerned. I didn't think she was having a shower because I could hear all this noise, so I followed and found her almost ripping your closet apart. When I asked what she was looking for she wouldn't tell me, she just said that she couldn't find it. I started to help but had to stop and ask what we were searching for. She said that she was looking for a shirt that she liked to wear when it got chilly, and that's when I clued into what was going on. I remembered you told me that Lois likes to wears your shirt when she doesn't know where you are."
Chloe paused and ran a hand through her hair. "We looked everywhere but couldn't find it; she tried to act casual but kept looking at the clock and couldn't sit still. You saw what she was like when you came home. You know how she hates showing any kind of public display, but I really think she'd forgotten that I was even here. I don't remember ever seeing Lois like that; do you know where the shirt is?" Chloe asked quietly.
"No, I thought it was in her closet. Thanks for staying with her Chlo." He said giving her a quick hug.
"I couldn't leave her like that but my god I'm glad your home. I'll see you both at work on Monday ok."
He had walked into the bedroom, used super speed to put all their clothes and items back into place then walked into the bathroom to find Lois standing in front of the mirror combing her hair.
"I know you ate dinner but that was hours ago, are you hungry Lo?" at her head shake "Good, I'll just have a quick shower and then we'll go to bed, ok?"
"You haven't eaten yet and I have to dry my hair first, I hate sleeping on wet hair." She smiled.
"I'm not hungry anymore. I'll dry your hair for you, I know you don't like it, but it'll be quicker. It's been a long night and I just want to hold you, ok." At her nod he undressed stepped into the shower and was out two minutes later.
Leaving the light on dim, they crawled into bed and once comfortable he wrapped his arms around her. "I'll always come back to you Lo." He said quietly kissing her hair.
"I know; I just hate when there's nothing on the news." She replied, hugging him back.
Rolling her under him, he pushed his knee gently between her legs, and moved until he was lying comfortably in the cradle of her thighs. "Do you remember when you tried to break up with me and I told you that I wouldn't give you up?"
"Uh huh."
"I meant it baby, I never will." He promised, bending down to kiss her softly, his hand settled on her jaw encouraging her to open her mouth wider and when she complied he slipped his tongue inside and deepened the kiss. Lifting his head, he opened his eyes and looked into hers. "A stupid shirt won't keep me away, I need you Lo; I'll always come home to you."
She raised her hand, ran it through his hair then laid it against his cheek. "If you ever disappear on me, I'm going to track you down and drag you home. And then I'm going to kick your ass for putting me to the trouble of having to find you before I let you back into bed." She vowed solemnly.
"I feel so loved." He smiled pressing his lips against hers.
"I was so scared, don't you ever do that to me again. Do you know how long it took to find a man willing to put up with me? They're not exactly thick on the ground you know." She murmured against his neck and hugged him tight.
"That's because the men you went out with before me were wimps." He teased relieved to hear her answering gurgle.
"Well I suppose compared to Superman they were wimps."
"Nu uh, they were just wimps who didn't deserve a woman like you, and the ones who weren't wimps were idiots who didn't know a good thing when they had it, but I do." He said cradling her close and kissing her shoulder.
He rolled over so that she wouldn't be crushed by his weight and feeling her body settle familiarly on his, let out a contented sigh.
"I thought you wanted to take advantage of me?" She teased lightly.
"I did." He promptly replied rubbing her bottom.
"Well what are you waiting for? I'm here just the way you like me, y'know naked and in bed, aren't you going to make the most of it." She grinned raising her face from his chest.
"Well I did want to when you came home from the salon, but that was hours ago, I just don't feel in the mood anymore." He sighed theatrically. "But since you're feeling so sweet and mushy towards me, I suppose I'd better make you happy. Well c'mon then, let's have sex and get it over with." He shook his head and gave her his best put upon expression.
He watched as her smile which had gotten bigger at his nonsense turned to a frown. "No, I'm just being inconsiderate and pushy again." She shook her head. "I don't want to make you do anything; you must be so exhausted, we'll just go to sleep. Night Clark!" She pecked him on the cheek, yawned and wiggled on top of him for effect.
"Hey wait a minute; you didn't give me a chance, I was just about to start." He suppressed a chuckle at hearing her fake snore "Baby you're teasing right?" He gave her a quick poke with his finger "Lo c'mon?"
"Oh get on with it before I really do fall asleep."
"Just for that, I might hold out."
"Hah!"
"What'd you mean, hah?"
"Just that; you hold out, please!" She scoffed.
"I can hold out longer than you can."
"No you can't."
"I can so; you're the one who's always crawling all over me and …."
"Ok, if you insist on turning this into a bet." She said and started to slide off him slowly.
"No." He yelped and grabbed back. "Lo, you and I both know that I maybe Superman, but in this relationship, you're the boss and if you say we're gonna have sex, then we're gonna have sex. And if you say you can hold out longer, then you can." He rushed his words together and nodded his head for emphasis.
"Scared huh?" She laughed.
"Terrified!" he replied with feeling.
"Let's just call it a draw." She replied kissing him softly.
"I can live with that." He smiled, rolling her back under him and taking her lips with his.
However, they soon both realised their competition was still on, as they laughed and teased, trying to see who could hold out longer until finally they both became impatient and lunged at each other, and had to concede that neither was the victor and neither cared.
After their hearts and breathing had resumed normal rhythm, he started to move off and to the side, but she tightened her legs around his hips and refused to let him budge "No, don't move, stay."
"Baby, I'll crush you." He quietly replied against her neck.
"I don't care, stay. I want to feel you inside me a little longer." She murmured running her hands over his back before tightening her arms around him.
"Hold on to me, ok." He said quietly, pressing a kiss against the side of her head. At her nod, he floated several inches off the mattress and rolled them both over "Pull your legs out babe." When she complied, he floated them back down, with her lying comfortably on top and her legs either side of him.
"I hate you Clark, I really do."
"Can I ask why?"
"Because you made me need you, I never wanted to need anyone like I need you. When we met I told you that I was independent and self-sufficient and now I'm not. I was so scared tonight; I knew that if anything happened to you, if you didn't come back to me, the rest of my life would be so lousy." She raised her head, he could read the truth in her eyes and lifting his hand smoothed away her tears.
"Nothing's going to happen to me." he replied softly.
She framed his face with her hands and looked into his eyes "I hate when you say that, you're Superman, not Indestructible man. If I knew that the boy I couldn't stand; would turn into the man I couldn't live without, I'd have run a mile in the opposite direction."
"If I knew the girl I couldn't stand would turn out to be the one person I'd love more than any other, I would have snatched you up when we met." He riposted back, lifting his head to meet her descending mouth, surprised when she moved her head backwards.
She smiled slightly and shook her head "Um I don't think so; I think you would have picked up Lana and run for the nearest JP."
"To hell with Lana, I like to think I would have been smart enough to grab onto you."
"Yeah, I'm sure you'd like to think that."
"Are you saying you don't think I would have been?"
"I'm saying that you would have gone whinging to Chloe that you were meteor infected and needed help."
"I never whinged." at her lifted brow he quickly amended "Ok I did, but I don't anymore" at her second lifted brow "Ok, I do, but now I only whinge when you don't get undressed and into bed fast enough."
"We're lucky if we even make it to the bed half the time." Her amused expression vanished "You asked me to promise to never leave you; now I want the same promise in return."
"I'll never leave you baby. I promise, never. I couldn't Lo, I'll either come back or I'll take you with me, but you and I are in this for life." He replied soberly.
Leaning down she kissed him softly "I love you Clark, please be careful, please."
"I will; it took me a long time to catch you Lo and I'm not ever going to let you go." He vowed crushing her gently.
"Good, because it took me a long time to love you and I don't want you to." She said hugging him back.
The next time he disappeared off the news radar he came home and found her in his expensive, brand new, never worn dress shirt. When he lifted his eyebrow, she told him that he might not come back for the ratty piece of flannel that she'd stolen before, but she knew he'd come back for his new shirt. He agreed before removing it, reminding her that he much preferred her in nothing at all.
Opening is eyes Clark looked around the loft, for the first time he understood just how scared Lois felt when he disappeared of the news radar, because he now felt the same.
After some of the memories he'd had earlier, he was even more grateful that Lois had ever given him a chance, but she had and he was just going to be thankful for it.
His mom was right, he couldn't change his thoughts, feelings or actions from years ago; he still wished that his infatuation for Lana hadn't been so all consuming but it couldn't be undone. He wasn't willing to do anything that could drive Lois away, and if by dwelling on his past selfishness would do that, he'd rather do as his mom suggested and just let it go.